


The Trickster: Atonement

by Shadow_Chaser



Series: The Trickster Universe [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe to Phase 2 of the Movies, But Loki thinks he might be, But it doesn't quite take, Geas manipulation, Gen, Liberal descriptive use of magick and magick theory, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Has Issues, Loki is Not Amused, Loki is a selfish bastard and doesn't give two shits about that, Loki really cares about Thor but won't admit it, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Odin's Bad Parenting, Odin's Good Parenting, Protective Thor, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor tries to make Loki become friends with the Avengers, Trickster Universe, Yes its magick not magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 111,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1451095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Chaser/pseuds/Shadow_Chaser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were never going to be friends, that much was certain.  But perhaps, in time, they would be allies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Summary:**

They were never going to be friends, that much was certain. But perhaps, in time, they would be allies. _Post-Avengers_ fic, Loki-centric, team-fic, no pairings, movie-verse; AU of Phase 2 of the Avengers Initiative.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 1_

 

Asgard had not changed, Loki thought as he felt the familiar solidity of the Rainbow Bridge under his feet, materializing in the long seconds it had taken for the green-Midgardian hues of their world to finally dissolve. The only difference was that he immediately noticed _where_ they had been teleported to and could not help but instantly let go of the containment cylinder that housed the Tesseract and step away from the jagged edges of the bridge.

It was also unfortunate that his steps brought him closer to the large imposing form of Heimdall, but Loki corrected his skittishness soon enough with a cool glare at the gatekeeper who returned one with equal aplomb. Neither had forgotten what had happened the last time the two had confronted each other on the bridge. And Loki knew that if the Midgardians had not constructed the elaborate cuffs on him, he would have summoned the Casket once more and blasted the gatekeeper just for old time’s sake.

He caught Heimdall’s golden eyes narrowing a little and only smirked in return, his mouth covered by the infernal muzzle, but it was enough as he suddenly felt Thor take him by the arm and drag him away.

“Come brother,” Thor’s voice was gruff and Loki allowed himself to be pulled along like a toy, throwing one last wink in Heimdall’s direction before righting himself and walked.

The muzzle and cuffs were an ingenious design; he had to give Tony Stark some credit. He knew his brother had provided some of the means to power the subtle magicks within, but it seemed the man of iron knew a lot more about Midgardian-style magic, technology as they called it, than what Barton had told him while under his thrall. He wanted to think that it was a pity he could not control Stark, but Loki decided against it as he lifted his arms a little to study the cuffs. Each thrall under his command before took a great amount of concentration and effort to break through their mental defenses, to twist and to remold their thoughts. Each individual had varying levels of defenses and Loki suspected that if he had tried to control Stark, then perhaps the battle would have gone a little differently…

Not a victory for him, he was sure now, but rather, it would have been an utter defeat.

He sighed quietly behind the muzzle, noting that Thor looked at him for a second, opening his mouth to say something before Loki pinned him with a frosty glare, shutting him up. Thor would only say pitying words and he did not want the man he once thought of as a brother, pitying anyone like him. He did not need _anyone’s_ pity.

They continued walking along the great length of the bridge, their arrival so sudden that there were no horses waiting about, only the length of the bridge, waterfalls that fell into abysses none knew where beneath them, and the distant spires of the main halls. Loki supposed that it enabled him to think, but he did not want to. He had a spent nearly a single Midgardian-week thinking, sitting in another cell, this time electrified, vacuum sealed, but thankfully located not on that forsaken helicarrier.

And those thoughts were not pleasant ones either.

He grimaced a little, staring at the spires, trying to think of anything except those dark thoughts that had lingered upon him during his week of captivity. They were not-

“We’ve begun to rebuild the outer halls,” Thor’s voice suddenly cut in and while Loki was grateful, he still arched an eyebrow up at him to which Thor ignored. “The inner sanctum was reinforced by Father’s magicks and spells…”

As much as he did not want to hear how Odin Allfather was great at casting complex spells and what have not, along with the repairs to the sanctum and elsewhere in the palace, he still allowed Thor to continue – his voice washing away the dark thoughts for now. He knew that they would return as soon as the quiet settled once more, but for now…it kept him occupied as they made the long slow trek towards the palace.

“…and mother-“

Here Loki perked up a little as he focused on his footsteps. He had last remembered Frigga wounded from a blow to the head, disoriented, confused as Thor had rushed in, declaring him traitor- Loki blew out another quiet sigh…

“…so worried about for a long time that she would come to the edges and ask Heimdall to search for you.”

Loki blinked as he looked up at Thor, frowning under his muzzle as he saw his brother with a pensive expression on his face before nodding solemnly. “I do not lie, brother-“

He narrowed his eyes and looked away.

“-but even if she was your adopted mother, she loved you like her own. She misses you-“

He growled and suddenly wanted to already be at the palace, to be under the Allfather’s scrutiny not here listening to sentiment from his brother about their mother. Not feeling the slight pangs of heartbreak that he had all but sealed himself up with – not since he had fallen into the abyss- _Don’t think!_ – not since…

“Loki…”

Loki had enough and ripped his arm out of Thor’s grip, sensing his surprise at his move. But before his brother could grab him again, he quickened his steps to put some distance between them and marched forward, all but glaring at the distant spires, the almost never-ending bridge that led to the Courtyard of Wonders. He let the rage, indignation, everything at how he had been treated, had been humiliated at the hands of those puny Midgardians wash over him, driving away the sentiment, driving away all of the _guilt_ he had been feeling away. It drove away the dark memories, the thoughts and he let it wash over him like a soothing balm before wrapping it around himself.

He heard Thor scrambling to catch up behind him, but Loki continued to walk, head held high and heard him catch up falling in step behind him, but did not reach out to grab him once more; and for that, Loki felt a minute sense of gratitude. They continued walking, Thor trailing behind him while Loki led, the two of them silent. He could sense Thor’s contemplative thoughts, but resolutely refused to do the same, wrapping his anger and humiliation tighter around him, filling his thoughts with the scenes of the battle that had transpired with the Chitauri, remembering every moment-

“Hold, Loki,” Thor’s arm suddenly on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts as he automatically paused and saw that they had arrived at the edges of where the Courtyard of Wonders met the beginnings of the Rainbow Bridge.

Two royal guards, resplendent in their armor bearing the crest of the House of Odin, stood at the edges, both of them glaring at Loki who met their gaze with a sneer that did not quite make it out of the muzzle covering his face.

“You will still show respect to a Prince of Asgard,” Thor’s voice thundered with authority and Loki saw the guards’ eyes widen before they hastily resumed their positions. However, he also saw that both had tightened their grips on the halberds they each bore. It was a command that they could not disobey, but one that also made them angry and Loki only smirked.

He understood that on some level he was supposed to be grateful about this, that he still bore the title of a _Prince_ of Asgard, of all places, but it was meaningless. The guards would only resent such accusations, resent everything after all that had been fought and Thor was exacerbating the situation. Still…he could take whatever pleasure he could from it and continued forward, Thor’s arm falling from his shoulder. He knew he could easily convey to Thor what he had done, that he had bred resentment, but the Asgardian was still too oafish, still too narrow-minded to truly believe.

The House of Odin would fall and suddenly Loki was glad that he had interrupted Thor’s coronation. It was one thing to be stupid and arrogant; it was another thing that the House of Odin could be continuously stupid by being so noble and _heartfelt_. No this…this was a level of stupidity that he could, no, he _would_ use.

There were others in the courtyard, courtiers, guards, civilians even as the courtyard was a free marketplace for the populace to congregate and gather. And everyone, every single eye stared at them as he walked past them and towards the inner halls. Whispers erupted around them as people parted like the seas to let them through. He could almost imagine Thor’s glare silencing the whispers, straightening the guards and nearly laughed at the sheer resentment and secreted glares he was receiving from those who thought Thor was not looking.

But somehow, he could not make the laugh come out of his lips, even though he knew it would be muffled by the muzzle he wore. Instead, he settled for the mirth in his eyes, hoping it conveyed how much he was _enjoying_ this farce, this parade.

They soon passed through the Courtyard of Wonders and arrived at the entrance to the palace, ascending the steps like they had done so many times. It was only after they had moved passed the Atrium of Champions where Odin Allfather held his public court, and into the inner sanctum of the palaces that Loki finally saw the four faces he had been looking for since his and Thor’s arrival on Asgard.

Faendral, Volstagg, Hogun, and Sif were all standing at the foot of the steps to the Allfather’s throne. He was not surprised at the stony looks on their faces at his arrival or at the sudden smirks that appeared on Volstagg and Faendral’s lips. What did surprise him, though only for a little bit before he passed it as mild annoyance was that Hogun and Sif had not reacted and if anything was possible, Sif’s frown had deepened. Loki narrowed his eyes at Sif who returned his equally cool gaze, no longer held back by his temporary title of regent-King while the Allfather had been in Odinsleep.

He would have liked to have said that there had been something between them, but that was sentimentality and wishful thinking on Sif’s part and nothing on Loki’s part. Ignoring Sif’s steady gaze, he instead, focused on Hogun, the exotic warrior whom he knew had an equally exotic past. His people did not believe in mercy when crimes were committed after a child came of age and Loki knew that Hogun had been shown mercy after sentenced to death by his people for a mistake he had made.

It was only Thor who had saved him and so the exotic warrior had constantly fought to not only kill, but also to show mercy. Loki briefly entertained the notion of wondering what Hogun would have made of all this, but then realized, he would not care either way. The man was loyal to _Thor_ , not to Loki.

“Allfather, we have returned,” Thor said as Loki stopped a respectful distance to the steps of the throne. He only did so because even if Odin claimed to have loved him as his son, claimed to have saved him from an outcast’s death when he was but a babe, claimed everything, he still had a sense of respect for the old warrior. A King, even a brief one, always showed respect to other Kings and Loki counted himself amongst the lines of Kings. Thor…Thor was _not_ a King.

“And so you have,” Odin’s voice was but a mere whisper, but the acoustics of the hall combined with the magicks Loki felt breathing forth from the Allfather’s lips made it even more powerful. He met the Allfather’s gaze with his own, letting the person he once called _father_ see all that he was, all that he _is_ right before him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noted that Odin’s wife, Frigga was no where in sight and Loki breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He did not know why, but somehow, he was glad that Frigga was not present. He did not want her to see him in chains and felt a little ashamed at the prospect of the woman he knew as his adopted mother would ever see him like this. Frigga was the only mother he had ever known; even Odin had not mentioned his mother when he had told him of his true origins. In his mind, it meant that either Laufey had his mother killed or did not care for her existence.

That in of itself seared a new line of hatred for the Frost Giant King that had abandoned him in a temple to die. The fact that Laufey had discarded him because he was supposedly too tiny, too weak to be his son angered him, but not so much as the lie that he had been living as an Asgardian instead of a Jotun. He did not really know why, but it hurt more, and perhaps more so that Odin had rejected his efforts to quell Jotunheim, to suppress the rebellion before it could grow. He had done it for Odin, he remembered screaming, did it so that no one could harm Asgard once more and Odin had rejected it with his quiet, “No.”

Loki frowned and clenched his teeth together as a wave of anger rolled over him and all but turned his simple gaze into a glare at the Allfather, daring him to see into his mind even though he was sure that Heimdall had told him everything he needed to know. He dared the Allfather to damn him, to condemn him to whatever pits and tortures Asgardians were capable of – to discard him again. In fact, he wanted nothing more than for the Allfather to do so – it would be to vindicate his own feelings. He needed that…needed to be right-

“You do not need these anymore,” Odin suddenly waved a few fingers and Loki immediately felt his bindings and muzzle disappear with an electrical-sounding pop. He nearly stumbled back in shock, but only kept his composure thus and was immensely proud of the fact that his face showed no hint of expression. There was nothing of his inner seething and turmoil that he revealed on his face as he stared up at the Allfather who still kept his simple, but all-seeing gaze upon him.

“Father-“ Loki felt Thor step up next to him in protest, but fell silent from a simple tilt of the Allfather’s head. The corner of his lips curled a little at the satisfaction of seeing that Thor could still be silenced so easily. That stupid oaf…and he was standing so close to him that Loki knew he could easily reach out and stab him again with conjured daggers. But he stilled his hands at his sides – Thor was beneath his efforts.

“My sons have returned to me,” Odin said quietly and Loki resisted the urge to scoff at the words, even if he did not know why. He was no _son_ of Odin, not even when Thor had told the palace guards that he was still a _Prince_ of Asgard.

He heard more than saw Thor’s surprised movement before turning his head a little to halt his hand from clasping onto his shoulder. His glare was all that conveyed to Thor his displeasure of being touched, much less touched by _him_ before Thor received the message and lowered his hand to his side once more. Turning his head back to stare at the Allfather, he noted with a bit of pleasure that the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three had all but nearly drawn their weapons before somewhat relaxing from perhaps a signal of acquiesce from Thor that he could not see.

“We shall have a feast-“

“Wait, what?” Thor all but spluttered and this time Loki could not help but smirk at the surprise in the thunder god’s voice. “F-Father-“

“My sons have returned,” Odin Allfather repeated quietly, though this time, there was a hint of simplistic innocence, as if he could not understand why there would be a protest from Thor of all people, “there shall be a feast celebrating their return.”

“But father…Loki-…he- He…”

“Yes?” Loki was verily impressed with the way Allfather was keeping his simplistic tone, but there was the undercurrent of _power_ and _authority_ in that voice.

“N-Nothing,” Thor sulked and Loki suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Such a simpleton…it was a miracle that Thor was not named ruler yet. Allfather, however, Loki looked at the Asgardian King’s gaze to see if he could find any hint of deception at this so-called ‘feast’, but surprisingly found none. Just the gentleness and _love_ that made him shudder a little as the Allfather met his gaze once more. He flinched and looked away, unable to meet his gaze anymore.

He had hoped that there was a hint of deception, but it seemed that the Allfather wanted a feast and was joyful that his _sons_ were back – at least a son, the only true son, if not a Jotun with him. There had to be a trick in this and he was pretty sure it would be sprung during this so-called ‘feasting.’ That was the chance of greatest humiliation and Loki knew that there had to be some punishment deemed by Odin Allfather for his actions. That was where it would happen, he was sure of it.

“Lord Faendral,” Odin suddenly called out, his voice now at its normal level instead of its mere powerful whisper and the fair-haired warrior leapt to attention.

“Sire,” he called out, straightening.

“Please escort Prince Loki to his quarters for a change of clothing,” Loki saw something flash in the Allfather’s eyes, and quickly darted a look at Faendral, but saw no change in the man’s posture and wondered if a hidden message of sorts had been passed. It would be like the Allfather to say something, perhaps even kill him when his back was turned, but Loki would not be caught off guard so easily… He was cleverer than whatever Allfather could throw at him.

“As you wish,” the warrior stepped towards him, but made no move to gesture for him to start walking which puzzled Loki a little as he blinked a few times; assessing what was to be done at this time. It only took him a few seconds to realize that the audience was over and mentally shrugged before sketching a quick bow with his head to the Allfather, not entirely disrespectful, nor respectful, but enough to show that he was done with the audience before turning and leaving.

Even before he took a few steps towards the direction of the royal family’s living quarters, he could hear Thor making sounds of protest and even the rest of the Warriors shuffled in confusion. But Loki did not care as he kept himself tense for an attack by Faendral who walked dutifully behind him. But no attack came as the two silently walked down the familiar halls. He even allowed himself to look around at the familiar arched ceilings, the golden majesty that had been his home and sanctuary for all of his life.

It was a contrast to the darkness and _cold_ \- Stop it, Loki commanded himself as he tightened his lips in an effort to banish the thoughts away. He immediately thought of Midgard, its seemingly dirty quality, the filth staining everything, including his armor when he was walking around Stuttgard. It would be just like the humans to have none of the majesty the buildings in Asgard commanded. Even the monster Jotuns, Loki gritted his teeth behind his lips in a sneer, lived in seemingly pallid squalor amongst the ice fields and the blue-cold planet they called home.

That cold was nothing like-

Loki clenched a fist to stop that thought right where it was and banished it away as he came upon the familiar set of double doors that led to his personal quarters. Two guards were stationed outside as they normally would have, but Loki saw that both guards looked uncomfortable, if not disgusted, with his approach. He allowed the smirk that had been in his eyes when he had first came upon the royal guards before the Courtyard of Wonders, to appear on his lips before opening the door and stepped in.

However, before he could close the door, it bounced off of Faendral’s quick hand that had been stuck between it and Loki turned a bit, staring at the fair-haired warrior, “Does the Allfather distrust me _that_ much?”

“I have been bidden to watch you,” Faendral’s reply betrayed no hint of anger, nor of disapproval that he knew the Aesir had to have been feeling. He stared at the swordsman, a bit surprised, yet pleased that Faendral met his gaze with a square one of his own – a sign that he was not afraid of Loki. There was no indication that Loki could see or sense with his magic that Faendral had been under a geas by Odin Allfather, but-ah! There it was…the anger, the disbelief, but most of all, the fury that was buried underneath.

“I won’t hang myself, if that’s what you’re so concerned about,” Loki jabbed, taking pleasure at seeing the spark of anger that rose to the surface of Faendral’s eyes before it was quickly suppressed. He guessed that the fair-haired warrior was needled by the comment.

“Nonetheless,” this time there was no mistaking the growl of anger hidden behind the stiff words Faendral spoke, “I have been bidden to watch you.”

Loki snorted quietly and stood there for a half-second longer than was necessary before turning and walking into his living quarters, leaving Faendral to close the door behind him. He crossed from the small reception room to the bedroom he had, noting with a somewhat pleased sense of relief that his books, spellbooks, even small experiments with metals and herbs collected in different realms had been untouched since his abrupt departure from Asgard.

When he had ruled over during the Allfather’s latest Odinsleep, he had kept his quarters and allowed no one to enter. This was somewhat the case also before, spelling the doors and various windows within his chambers to allow no one, save for himself to enter. However, it seemed his wards were bypassed on occasion by the Allfather himself and Frigga. It did not annoy him as much, if only because he could feel that his wards had prevented Thor from entering. He did not need the oafish bro- _Aesir_ , pawing at his things while he had been gone.

Crossing the initial chambers into a slightly smaller room and heading to a wardrobe, he noted with a cursory look that everything seemed to be in place. He would have to spell the room much more carefully after Odin’s so-called feast to make sure that there were not any extra wards the Allfather placed over his or even under them. It would be like the Allfather to trap him in the room, or at least do something to his own sleeping quarters to prevent him from doing anything else.

Flinging the wardrobe open, he picked out a couple of pieces of clothing that were simplistic yet appropriate for one of his station. Contrary to what those _humans_ had seen, he had only cast a strong illusion over his armor, having fallen into the black abyss- Loki jerked his head once in a shake to dispel any thoughts- having left Asgard with his armor on. The illusion of having a set of robes was only to placate their feeble minds and to appeal to them as harmless. He knew what kind of mental power an armored-figure had over those who knew nothing better and it only proved to him that the humans were nothing more than simpleminded…things. The man of iron was even proof of that as well as the soldier himself. Both wore armor, both were symbols.

Loki paused as he saw Faendral stop at the threshold between the two rooms and glanced back to see the other Aesir trying very hard to suppress the look of disgust and something else he could not quite identify at the moment as he surveyed the room. He shook his head; if the Allfather wanted the fight-happy warrior to watch him change then so be it. He had no compulsions against privacy or virtue as Thor sometimes had whenever a fair maiden caught his eye and it was not for the lack of his own virtue. It was because he knew as warriors, all of them, even Loki himself, had seen their fair share of battle injuries, and had seen their fair share of armor pieces fallen, protection disappearing only to receive injuries. Though he himself had managed to keep himself from the worst of it with his magicks, he had seen the others at their worst states. And he knew Faendral thought of the same.

Still, he quickly changed out of his armor, the buckles to the plates taking a little longer than he was used to due to the various dents and damage done by the green monster. If he ever got the chance he would completely humiliate and kill Banner before letting the monster touch him again, the dark thought slipped through his mind as he dropped the pieces of armor across the floor. He knew that the servants would be cleaning them up soon enough and changed into the fresh clothing before straightening himself over the full-length mirror in his room.

A cursory look at himself made his lips thin a little – he was not vain – but he did take great care in his appearance. Image was another way to manipulate the situation and tentatively reached up to touch the head wound that was in the process of healing. He knew he could now easily cast a spell on himself, but Loki decided not to. The still healing wound would serve its purpose for now, as was the cuts on his hands, one on his neck and light scratches on his face. If the Allfather planned to humiliate him at the feast, he would let the scars do their work.

He heard Faendral shift behind him and smiled a little, “Bored already?” He made a couple of unnecessary gestures to pretend he was still preening in front of the mirror and his smile got a little wider as he heard the huff of impatience behind him. “I told you, you do not have to watch-“

“I was bidden to watch,” Faendral cut him off roughly, “but by all the Norns-“ The curse was cut off short and Loki turned to see the fair-haired warrior clamp his mouth shut, looking extremely frustrated. He blinked a little…this was new. Faendral never had the compulsion to close his mouth once he got started, but… He sent a cautious spell towards the warrior, but got no indication of a geas in return, not even one cast by the Allfather. Curious indeed…

But Loki allowed the smile to appear back on his lips and immediately saw Faendral’s eyes narrow as he stiffened. “I’m going to the library,” he announced before walking past the warrior and heard the long suffering sigh before footsteps followed reluctantly behind him. Most curious indeed…

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Fair warning, this story will be slow on updates. I’m working on this one as well as several others in different fandoms. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 


	2. Chapter 2

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me, they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 2_

 

His trip to the library had been two-fold; to see how far he could test Faendral’s patience before the Aesir gave up on his task “bidden” by the Allfather, and because he wanted to do some research, particularly into geas. Both had proven fruitless as he now sat amongst the other Aesir and Court that had been invited to the feast. At least fruitless until he could return to the library after the feasting was done – though he suspected by the end of it, he would be going around trying to at least ease the hangovers of the Warriors-

Loki pressed his lips together quickly and quashed the thought. He was no more “friend” to them as they were to him now. They had betrayed him and he owed them _nothing_. The sentimentality of comradeship, or whatever had passed for comradeship in the years, was long gone when they all but told him that Thor was rightful heir and had defied him to go to Midgard to retrieve him from his exile. He had no choice, he _had_ to send the Destroyer…it was the only way.

“…Loki,” out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Frigga reaching over with a gentle hand and deftly moved his own out of the way. He did _not_ need comfort, nor did he need the touch of the woman he had called _mother_ all this time. He was a Frost Giant, outcast- he gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on the fork he was using to push those thoughts out once more and turned his face a little to give Frigga a slightly simpering smile.

“I am well,” he murmured as he found that he could not quite meet her gaze and instead stared at a point on her left ear before returning his gaze to the rest of the long feasting table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the woman he had called mother for so long draw back, a hurt expression flitting across her face before it all but disappeared under a passive mask. Loki refused to acknowledge the hurt, did not acknowledge that something inside him squirmed at that thought. This was why he wanted to avoid Frigga – the woman could still make him feel like a disobedient child and yet so… _loved_ , he grimaced, at the same time.

Affection was for the weak, a sentimentality he could not afford to show. Not here, not now. It was something that he knew the Allfather would not hesitate to use against him, something that _he_ \- Loki stabbed at the food a little harder than he normally would in an effort to stop his thoughts from straying to that other place. It was not the Allfather he should be concerned about, yet at the same time, he knew that he should be concerned, for both the Allfather and the one he refused to put his thoughts towards.

Instead, he focused his eyes and ears upon the head of the table, or at least where Thor was sitting to Odin’s right hand, regaling everyone with a story of sorts; the story about how they took down one of the Chitauri’s Leviathans, he realized. There was no mention of himself within the story and while Loki knew he should have been grateful for the exclusion, he could not help but notice that more than one eye had flickered towards him occasionally, but no one seemed to ask about his presence.

The Court had all seen him walk in with chains and muzzle and it stood to reason that they knew he had been on Midgard. Unless… Loki blinked as he shot a quick look to his right at the Allfather sitting at the head of the table. Thor had said that he had known of his true parentage, but nothing else. The Court of the Allfather had the reputation of being unable to keep secrets, so he suspected that many of them knew he was not truly Odin’s son – though he never was, just a war trophy like the weapons in the vault – but it seemed that _none_ of them knew that he had fallen to Midgard.

Curious…

Then what _had_ the Allfather told his Court and perhaps even his advisors when he had conjured the dark energy to send Thor to Midgard? Surely not just a simple Chitauri invasion, right? But as Loki discreetly looked at the faces of the rest of the Courtiers he noted that their attention was focused on Thor, cheering or laughing at his descriptions of the violent battle as Aesir were wont to do, yet none of them had the look of curiosity of figuring out who was the Chitauri’s leader.

The Chitauri themselves were known to the inhabitants of Asgard, existing on a branch of Yggdrasil, not quite under the protection of one of the realms, but rather, existing on the branches of dark space where none dared look. But Loki had looked, had even seen, even before he had fallen – _had been thrown_ – from the Rainbow Bridge. He traveled within the branches of Yggdrasil, the shadows in-between, and had seen. And it stood by Thor’s words that Odin had been quite aware of them.

Loki turned his gaze towards the Allfather again and narrowed his eyes a little. Just what was Odin playing at? There had to be something involved within this feast. He was expecting humiliation, but Thor was excluding his name within the narrative. Even the Warriors and Lady Sif who sat next to him down the table were quiet. Faendral had even relaxed, not even taking one look at him during the whole feast, a contrast to the task he had been “bidden” to do earlier.

Aside from the exclusion, he did not sense anything amiss and wondered briefly if he should cast a discreet spell to see if everyone was bewitched. But as he stared at the Allfather for a moment before looking down at his plate and pushed his food around, he wondered if that was the moment the Allfather would be waiting for, to condemn and punish him. After all, he had been brought back as a prisoner so there had to be some punishment involved. Yet, at the same time, the Courtiers and everyone else were ignoring him. Surely this was not the punishment…he was sure of it.

He normally held court during feasts, regaling the Courtiers and guests of the exploits of Thor and the Warriors, himself included, but at a much downplayed role – or at least a role that only the cleverest would figure out how much he had contributed. Those stories were usually ones that if one could pick between the words, were the ones where he had been instrumental in saving everyone, but as all ways, the Courtiers were much more interested in the physicality of exploits, not caring one wit for the trickery and masterful deception behind it. Idiots, the lot of them.

It also made slipping out of the tedious feasts a lot easier, everyone asking for more details of the gruesome battles or how the Warriors, Sif, and Thor had defeated such and such enemy over and over again. There were a few of those who understood his role, the tag-along Prince who had saved them all, but they were not there. He knew he could now easily slip away, but the question was, what the Allfather would do about it. He had done nothing except nod at the sometimes-flimsy excuses he had given, but right now…Loki blinked at his plate as he made the pretense of eating once more, recognizing the emotion within him.

He was afraid.

It was not fear in the sense that most thought, but rather the fear of anticipation; the fear of predicting what would happen yet at the same time be completely wrong in his judgment. He was very good, perhaps prescient in a way, in reading people and their intentions, and his abilities were failing him at the moment. He _knew_ that the Allfather was planning _something_. But what that something was, he could not read from his posture and regal bearing.

“Loki, you’re not eating,” Frigga’s whisper next to him made him pause in his attempts of pushing around food before he deliberately cut up a piece of the meat on his plate and ate it, his lips thinning in annoyance. He did not need _mothering_ , especially from Frigga. This had been a bad idea – he should have said something during the audience, should have said he was not attending the feast and taken his punishment from Odin Allfather then and there. But his defiance, his sense of courage, he supposed, had fled him when the Allfather had unexpectedly broken his chains, releasing his magicks back to him.

It was so easy to fantasize about causing a ruckus now, to let loose the magicks upon others in an attempt to prove the Allfather wrong, but something within Loki stopped that. Unnecessary, childish, and most of all, utterly wasteful and stupid. He was not stupid; no, he was the cleverest of them all. So begged the question: why did he not _do_ anything?

It seemed the question posed to himself finally snapped him out of his inaction as he felt something within break, set free on the beating wings of freedom and Loki placed his fork down before looking directly at the Allfather. “May I be excused?” he asked quietly, catching Odin’s eye. Normally a polite excuse would have accompanied those words, but Loki was feeling a little too irritated by his own inaction to actually excuse himself – plus he wanted to know what the Allfather would do.

Odin stared at him for a moment before nodding once and Loki stood up, still anticipating something to happen, and noted the silence that had fallen over the table at his action. Here it came…

He turned and before he even took another step, heard another scrap of a chair being pushed back, opposite of where he was sitting. Loki shook his head a little, the brief sardonic smile touching his lips. Not even deigning the rest of the Court a look, he started to walk out, the sure footsteps that he recognized as Hogun’s rounding the table, and followed him. So he was to have another guard with him…

He knew that under normal circumstances he would have made some witty excuse to the rest of the Court as to why he was leaving, to reassure them that even if one of the Princes of Asgard was leaving, it was not an insult to the rest of the Court. But Loki was not feeling charitable nor in the mood to make a witty excuse-

“Leaving so early to continue plotting to take over the throne?” Sif’s acerbic words echoed loudly along the silent table and the gasps that accompanied her words made him pause mid-step before Loki allowed a small smirk to quirk the corner of his lips as he turned around to see the reactions.

Thor’s eyes were wide with alarm and even Sif suddenly looked frightened at the words she had just spoken. The fear was not directed at him, but rather they were frightened of what the Allfather would do with such words. But as Loki darted a quick look at the Allfather, he saw that Odin had the mildest expression on his face. And so, he answered in the typical fashion he was accustomed to, “Always Lady Sif, always.”

Without even waiting for the rest of the Courtiers’ expressions, their gasps of surprise telling him everything, he turned back around and walked out, his steps sure as he left the feast. Hogun’s quiet but sure steps followed behind, but Loki did not care. If Odin wanted to punish him during the feast, then he had lost his chance. Besides, the library was a far more interesting place than the stories of the feast.

It at least stopped him from hearing Thor’s boisterous retellings over and over again.

* * *

“Has he been here the whole time?” Sif’s quiet voice floated over to Loki as he continued to read the tome he had picked off of the library that was within the palace halls. The collection of books, spell tomes, visual knowledge, recorded knowledge, everything that was known and collected about the nine realms were all housed within this expansive wing that grew as the knowledge collected in the hundreds of thousands of years were added.

If Sif was attempting to voice her question without him hearing, then she needed a lot more work trying to keep her voice down. He did not hear an answer from Hogun and suspected that the warrior nodded, perhaps elaborated, but Loki did not look up from reading as he twisted his left hand and jotted down the interesting fact he had just read on a conjured quill and parchment he had summoned. He had no idea how much time had passed, but then again he did not quite care.

Hogun had not said a word since he had left the feast with him and came down to the library, ever the silent sentinel, but Loki had felt his penetrating gaze upon him during that whole time as he had browsed the shelves and picked out several tomes to read. Sleep was elusive for Loki, but not from the minor injuries he had sustained during the battle on Midgard – those had healed within the week he had been in SHIELD’s custody – but rather he wanted to know more about geas.

The magicks of a geas was an interesting thing indeed, something he had long thought of, but really had no interest in casting one. For one thing, he had learned long ago that to enact a geas was powerful magic indeed, and took a part of the caster’s to sustain and maintain. Loki knew his own limits, his own reserves, and casting one while was within those limits, was the most impractical magic ever. For one thing, a geas was subtle and manifested after a while, and even then one did not necessarily know if a geas was successful or not.

His current research told him that a geas was successful only if the caster was able to maintain the mental fortitude of actually _thinking_ of what they wanted the geas to do – and maintaining that thought for a long time was perhaps why geas were rarely used by those who controlled magic. But something like Odin Allfather, all-powerful, infinitely patient…he could do such a thing and that was why he was researching the subject that he had discarded long ago once more.

It would be like the Allfather to have casted a subtle geas upon him, or even upon the Warriors to do something to him. The punishment Loki expected was not swift nor was it immediate as Thor and the others would have believed. No, Odin was crafty and if there was any indication, especially given what he knew about his plans, the Allfather always planned ahead. His excuse about finding a Jotun baby abandoned at the temple, Laufrey’s son, and those _abandonment_ of plans to unite the two realms was nothing more than a farce in Loki’s opinion. Odin had plans, but in the short of it, it also told him that Odin was a long-term planner.

Which meant he had the mental fortitude to sustain a geas. Or sustain something akin to a punishment for a long while.

The only thing Loki could do was to anticipate and ready perhaps some defense against such a thing. The added bonus of having access to the library was giving him access to new spells and ways to perhaps plan a bit of revenge against the Midgardians. They had surprised him with their resilience, something he had not anticipated, even after he had gleaned the knowledge from Agent Barton. He would not make the same mistake twice, but at least he would have a bit of…fun…at their expense.

Thor would disapprove, but Loki was beyond needing Thor’s approval, the oafish warrior who still called him _brother_ leaving a slight bitter taste in his mouth. He flicked a look up at Hogun to see the quiet warrior talking to Sif, his mouth barely moving, his voice not even carrying in the silent library. So Hogun could actually keep quiet…and Loki felt a slight pleasure of approval fill him. At least one of the fabled Warriors knew the meaning of subtly and quiet.

In hindsight, conquering Midgard was petty and something he had done to rile his brother. If Thanos wanted the Tesseract who was he to stop him. It was not his fault that Thor and his so-called “Avengers” had been better equipped to deal with the threat of the Chitauri than the Other and Thanos had realized. He had only agreed to lead them with the promise of giving up the Tesseract and as far as he was concerned, it was the Other’s fault for not holding up his end of the bargain.

He had been promised the Chitauri and what he had gotten was a force that could not even conquer one city, not even with the knowledge he had given to them from his questioning of Barton and Dr. Selvig.

The shuffling of feet made Loki look up from his reading and note-taking to see Sif bidding Hogun a goodnight before taking his place as the other warrior left. “Punishment for speaking out of turn?” Loki asked, smirking at the glare Sif threw at him.

“Someone has to keep an eye on you. We all decided to take turns,” Sif replied, her voice harsh and holding barely contained anger. It was a decidedly interesting contrast to the seemingly mild-barely-there anger Faendral had when he had spoken to him earlier.

“Bidden to keep an eye on me?” he decided to use Faendral’s words on Sif and saw a muscle along her jaw twitch in irritation. “Ah…so it is by the Allfather’s commands then.”

“It should be-,” Sif abruptly stopped, clamping her mouth such and Loki smiled a little. He knew that whatever she was about to say was not for anyone’s ears, especially not to a Prince of Asgard, nor was it to be uttered within the halls of the palace. It also meant that it was probably disparaging the Allfather’s name and that was something a warrior of her status would and should never do.

“Tell me,” he offered, setting down the quill and leaning back against the high-backed chair he had sat down in. “I promise not to tell the Allfather…”

“That is a lie,” Sif snorted, utterly unladylike, but then again Loki knew that she fought hard to shed the “lady” demeanor many at Court were expected to adopt.

“It is,” he agreed, “and perhaps not within these walls.” He almost expected the familiar caw of Odin’s two guardian ravens, Huugin and Muugen, who told him everything and anything there was. There was also the Guardian Heimdall, to whom Loki knew was fully Aesir, but one could not blame him for thinking that Heimdall was perhaps part raven. He knew the Guardian told Odin _everything_ he saw, fearlessness and loyalty to the king absolute.

“Then why should I speak? You will twist my words as you are wont to do,” Sif countered and Loki smiled. Lady Sif knew him too well, and surprisingly much like that mortal Natasha Romanoff, daughter of Drago, knew him well enough to attempt to manipulate his words back to him. Though Natasha perhaps took that attempt a little further…Sif was wise enough not to speak. Still…

“I will,” he conceded, “but you will not be happy until you speak.”

Sif stared at him for a moment and Loki could see the thoughts turning in her head, the moment where she wanted to open her mouth to speak her piece, before the moment passed and the sense of defiance fade-

“You should have paid for what you did,” she suddenly said, her voice cold, imperious, a regality that he had rarely saw but knew existed. This was the voice of a queen, if Thor was not infatuated with the mortal woman had had met on Midgard. Then again, his brother was blind to a few things…

“I’m sure getting thrown off the Bifrost was payment-“

“Imprisoned and _stripped_ , Loki, _stripped_ of your magicks,” she hissed quietly, “the pain of having your source flayed alive from your very skin. That should be your punishment and recompense for what you did to the Jotuns, to Thor, to everyone you have wronged in the hundreds of years.”

“Banished?” he narrowed his eyes a little and she jutted her chin at him, staring down at him.

“Not enough,” she replied, “banishment would only serve to ferment your anger and your fantasies of revenge. Banishment and forced into another form is too kind of a punishment for you.”

Loki smiled a little as he sat back again and gestured for her to continue. He was a little pleased that she knew him this well to use the words she was using. She had given this a lot of thought. Too bad he would use it against her afterwards.

“You thought you could take the throne and use your might against others? To tell Thor that his _father_ was dead? You thought you could walk back, in the farce of chains and a muzzle to guard against your Silvertongue, that all would be forgotten? I do not know what the Allfather has planned, but I do hope that it is a fitting punishment for you, Loki. To me, you are no Prince of Asgard; you are nothing but a thief and liar. You are unworthy of the love your parents have given to you. They took you from the cold, brought you here to raise you as one of their own and what you have done…unforgivable.”

“Unforgivable?” Loki sensed that she was at the end of her words and leaned forward, a simple look on his face. He need not be menacing, he knew that and she knew that, but he saw her brace herself for the words thrown back at her. The twist and turn of the beautiful words she had spoken to him, from deep within. This was why he was called the Silvertongue, the nickname given to him by Thor and others.

“The Allfather has done _nothing_ ,” he gestured towards the library around them, “nothing that seems to me is part of that unforgivable sin that I seemed to have committed. You talk of the childish petty love of the one who called himself my _father_ who had stolen me from the hells of the world. You who have been coddled and want for nothing until you wanted more. You wanted glory, such frivolity in wake of your place in Asgard.” He saw her flinch, his words hitting their mark and sneered, “Who is the petty one now?”

“They gave you a home-“

“ _They_ stole me from my home-“

“You wanted to destroy it!”

“Because I could!” he nearly shouted back and only restrained himself thus, “because _I_ , not Thor, _I_ am the rightful King of Asgard-“

“You are a Frost Giant!” Sif slammed her fists down at the table, her eyes darkening with anger and fury before a second later surprise and shock flitted across her expression as she realized what she had said and Loki shook his head, a sardonic smile crossing his lips.

“And that’s the truth of it, is it not?” he whispered, sitting back once more, staring up at Sif who blinked and opened her mouth as if to say something, perhaps even an apology, but no words came forth.

“Your claims of home and of love, of family and betrayal?” Loki stared at her with a simple gaze, “Nothing.” He saw something akin to fear in her eyes as she took a step back, her body tense, her jaw clenched with the underlying fury she had felt, but at the same time he read her worry just as easily. There were so many ways he could go about it, so many ways anyone could go about it – but most of all, it was perhaps the thought of what would the Allfather think or even do if he had heard the words. Loki could easily get up and tell the Allfather what she had just said, could easily conjure up their conversation to prove that she had all but insulted a member of the royal household, even if he was just a mere Prince.

Status, glory, and honor played so much in Asgardian society and Loki was a master at manipulating such theatrics even though he took stock more in status than glory or honor. Those two traits belonged to Thor and his boisterous, oafish, stupid attempts to bully his way through everything.

“You think me a monster,” Loki saw Sif quickly shake her head.

“No-“

“Come now, I am the master of lies and deceit,” he rolled his eyes at her, “you said so yourself. Frost Giant. Monster.”

“I only said Frost Giant; do not put words into my mouth!” Sif shot back, the nervousness in her voice betraying the tense posture she adopted.

“Are they not the monstrous stories we all told each other when we were young? Of how they would come grab us at night? Were they not the stories told around the feasts embellished with decapitation and the like? Did you not feel satisfaction slaying them on Jotunheim?”

“Only in defense.”

Loki smiled a little, “Ah, yes, only in defense. When you could have escaped back to the Bifrost landing site-“

“Thor needed help-“

“Thor never needs help,” Loki snorted, “Thor never needed help. I clearly remember him doing fine against the hordes of Jotuns there. Wantonly killing them, even laughing as destruction rained down around him. They were _nothing_ to him. Nothing to you, to Faendral, Hogun, even Volstagg.”

“It seems they meant nothing to you either,” Sif replied, her voice tight, her gaze dark, “why activate the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim then?”

“Because the answer is simple,” Loki stared at her, “I am a monster.”

Whatever impact his words had on her, judging by the sharp intake of breath and the stilling of her form, it was broken mere seconds later when Thor’s voice preceded himself, “You are not a monster Loki, do not say that.”

Loki sighed loudly, and slumped against the chair, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Thor was the last person he wanted to neither see nor interrupt this interesting conversation he was having with Sif. It felt wonderful to manipulate words against another person again and Sif had tried her best, but in light of the his rather interesting conversation with Agent Romanoff, he wished she had done better.

“Go away,” he all but glared at Thor as he approached them, dressed in a lighter set of armor that he normally wore around the palace grounds.

“Loki-“

Loki ignored him and began to gather up the tomes he had taken to read, feeling a little annoyed that his privacy had all but been invaded. He was still expecting the Allfather to hand down some kind of punishment, but if part of that was to see Thor, or hear him after being escorted from the Bifrost earlier that day, then this was one part of the punishment he would deftly ignore.

“Loki do not call yourself a monster. You are not-“

Just as Thor’s hand landed on his shoulder, he spun, his posture set and defensive, the tingle of his magicks lighting up on his finger tips as he stared at Thor, his eyes flashing in a warning-

Thor tightened his grip on his shoulder and for a brief moment Loki wondered if his brother was going to hit him with the hammer, nowhere in sight upon his persons but nonetheless able to be summoned at a moment’s notice, before he recognized the grip as an _affectionate_ one and felt a revulsion of disgust. How _stupid_ could Thor be-

“Are you just waiting for me to stab you again?!” the words fell from his lips before he could recall them even though he did not really know why he wanted to, but that part was quashed when he saw Sif’s eyes widen and Thor’s brows crinkle with concern.

“Loki, you are not-“

“I’ve already told you, I have no sentiment, _nothing_ to hold me back so,” he ripped his shoulder out of Thor’s grip, “get your hands off of me before I put another knife through your ribs.”

“Loki…”

He grabbed the tome he had been reading and pushed past Thor without a second look, hearing a scramble of Sif’s footsteps behind him as he inwardly shook his head. So she had been tasked to follow him, much like Faendral. He wondered what she would think now that he was heading back to his chambers, his peace and solidarity broken by _Thor_ of all people. Surely she did not have to watch him while he slept – though he would not be discomforted by the proprietary awkwardness, he did not care about that – but he knew that she would perhaps feel some discomfort.

“You’re not a monster!” he heard his brother call out.

“We all are,” he snarled back without looking, “Frost Giant, remember?!” If he had the chance to turn around after he threw his words, he would have seen the look of brotherly anguish, of blind acceptance that Thor had on his face at his parting words. But Loki did not turn back.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Inspirations for this story are ConeycatJr’s “Brother’s Keeper” on fanfiction dot net and Alis Dee’s “Agent Loki: International Man of Mayhem” series on AO3. I’m taking a particularly snarky if somewhat defensive-Loki approach as well as a healthy dose of he-doesn’t-give-a-crap-about-people’s-feelings. Further inspiration is from Tom Hiddleston being an excellent actor with Loki’s characterization.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me, they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 3_

 

It was on the fourth day since he had returned from Midgard that Loki finally decided to give into the niggling fear that had been growing in the back of his mind. The fear of anticipation, of the punishment to come had not manifested and he would not admit to anyone, but Loki felt unsettled. He thought that perhaps it was what the Allfather wanted, his equilibrium off. Or perhaps the Allfather anticipated him returning to a routine of sorts before inflicting his punishment, but whatever it was; Loki decided he would push the issue. But having decided to give into to that fear was not akin to giving up; at least not the way he saw it. No, it was akin to meeting the Allfather’s punishment on his time and his terms.

His research into geas had proven fruitless and he was no closer to figuring out whether or not the warriors had geas cast upon them to accompany him everywhere and resigned himself to the fact that it was perhaps the warriors following Odin's orders to the letter, perhaps discussed beforehand. Were they trying to prove to him that Odin was a better ruler than he; at this point he did not quite care for it.

It was long after the Court had been dismissed and the Allfather discussing a small matter with Tyr, the commander of all the warriors about enforcing the borders and to keep an eye out for something that he could not quite catch, that Loki made his move. He knew he could have forced the issue in front of the Court itself, could have demanded that the Allfather announce to everyone what his punishment was, but it was a calculated risk.

At that point, the Allfather and he would have been on equal footing, perhaps he gaining the advantage by controlling the situation, or perhaps the other way around with the Allfather flatly denying any such punishment, thus making him wait some more. Here, with the Court dismissed and a much more private audience, though still within the public throne room itself, Loki had a chance of forcing the issue his way.

The Court had been a long one, apparently a matter of great importance being discussed with the visiting Vanaheim ambassador, the sister race to the Aesir of Asgard. Loki had learned that the matter had been fermenting since about the time he had launched his attack upon the Midgardians, only coming to head this day with concluding negotiations and the small matter of payment and debts to discuss.

Apparently it had something to do with trade with another realm that neither Odin nor the ambassador cared to mention in the closing public discussion and Loki did not feel like asking Volstagg what it was all about – he had no intention of striking up the façade of friendship that had been so violently broken by their betrayal and favoritism of Thor.

Instead, he listened as he normally did during the audiences with the Allfather. He stood at his customary station whenever the Allfather held public forum, two steps down on the Allfather’s dais, one step down from where Thor always stood at the Allfather’s right hand side. But Thor was almost always never at the public forums and for the most part had to be summoned to the private ones too. Loki suspected that with Volstagg’s presence behind him, and no one else around, Thor was once again training with the rest of the warriors or perhaps had even gone back to Midgard.

Queen Frigga’s spot, one step down on Odin’s left was also empty, but the Queen’s absence was understandable. She held a more domestic court, pertaining to the day to day running of the palace. It was where the household staff brought their grievances and as well as many who lived on Asgard. The Allfather was the ruler of the realms, but Queen Frigga was ruler of Asgard itself.

Loki discreetly shifted his feet once more, relieving the pressure of standing for a long time with practiced ease. Everyone, Volstagg included, who were accustomed to the Allfather’s audiences learned one way or another to keep up pretenses that they were awake, able to stand, and most of all, be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. Asgard was the way of warriors and Loki was no exception. Four days since his return enabled him to practice what he had lost since he had been in that infernal blackness-

Loki blinked and drew in a quick quiet breath to banish the thoughts from him. He had _not_ lost it. He had never lost it.

“You wish to speak, Loki?” apparently it was not quiet enough as the Allfather turned his one-eyed gaze to him and Loki inwardly cursed the old king’s intuitiveness. He had been caught flat-footed and it did not bode well for his attempt to take advantage of the situation.

“It seems General Tyr could assign one healer to each of the scouting parties he plans to send out then communication would not be an issue,” Loki turned to look at the Allfather, his voice smooth and controlled. He _would_ take advantage of the situation and turn it back to his favor.

“Healers? But my scouts do not need-“

“All of the healers have basic knowledge of summoning familiars and the like. They must have to have finished their training,” Loki sent a withering look to the stocky general, his silvery armor polished to the point where one could see the reflections off of the throne room’s floor into the armor. If Loki did not know better, the armor could have looked like it had _never_ seen battle.

“Then why not send the battlemages?” Loki saw Tyr struggling to keep the sneer off of his face and instantly knew where the Aesir stood with his return. Like many others, like the whispers and like the Warriors Three and Sif, Tyr disliked his manner of return and subsequent lack of perceived punishment from the Allfather. Well, would he not be pleasantly surprised after this conversation was over, Loki thought darkly.

“Because they are too unpredictable and their loyalties questionable,” he replied, the corner of his lips quirking up in the hints of a smirk when Tyr blanched. The older warrior stared at him as if he had grown two heads, unable to believe what he had just heard from _Loki_ of all people’s mouths. Magic was a touchy subject amongst the warrior-centric Asgardians and mainly tolerated because of the Vanir who had more of a magic-user population than the Aesir did. Even though the Allfather himself wielded magic, it was rarely use and understated.

In Loki’s opinion, the warrior culture was too blind to the use of magic, or rather advance manipulative-technology that Midgardians were only starting to figure out, to really consider it around them. The Bifrost was one really glaring example, yet everyone had decided it was not using magic nor made by magic. Such ignorance grated on Loki and perhaps which was why he always flaunted his abilities. It certainly made the populace not forget that there were those who used magic amongst them.

But he knew his words had been designed not only to apply to himself, but also to all other magic-users under the Allfather’s rule.

“And pray how are the healers different?” there was nothing else Tyr could say to Loki, no matter what he insults or snide remark he wanted to throw at him without offending the Allfather.

“In the simple words of why one does not become the most trusted general of the Allfather,” the same restrictions could have applied to Loki, but he was not feeling that generous and instead enjoyed seeing Tyr’s face suffuse with a growing red stain, “they want to help others. It is their nature to do so, to heal and see to the comforts of those around them.”

“They are not like cattle-“

“They are cattle,” he could not understand why Tyr had decided to simplify the healers as such, to group them together. Even he had respect for every individual healer, masters of their craft much like Faendral was one of the best duelers in the realms, “and thus they will be the first to warn the Allfather _if something is wrong_.”

Loki saw the Allfather inclined his head a little at the wisdom of his words and while a very small part of him took pride in that acknowledgment of his argument, the overwhelming part of him knew that he could use that to his advantage after he finished with this trivial matter. However, Tyr still looked confused and Loki rolled his eyes at him, remembering that once, perhaps not long ago, he would have resisted the insulting action.

Tyr frowned at his expression but Loki did not care. “Healers are the weakest, their art only good for two things. One of them is _healing_. They will want to save everyone within their sight and what better way than to alert the Allfather at the first sign of trouble?” There were other insults he could have thrown to Tyr to make him understand, but Loki figured that the man’s tiny warrior brain could only comprehend so much.

“Battlemages are like warriors who only charge head first into battle without thinking of the consequences, who see glory in each swing of a sword,” he shot at the general and saw him bristle under the implied insult. Good, then perhaps he would get it through his thick skull that not all of those who wielded magicks were equal. Idiots, the lot of them…

“The Prince brings up a valid point, Tyr,” the Allfather held up his hand to stop Tyr from saying anything else, “The healers have been trained to deal with the basics of spellwork. I will assign eight of them to your scouting parties and you will have Heimdall to watch over each one of them. Rest assured General, we will not be caught off guard.”

“As you wish, Sire,” Tyr bowed deeply to the Allfather before turning and leaving, his dark blue cloak swirling and fluttering behind him as he left his audience at an end.

Loki watched the general leave with some satisfaction before the Allfather spoke up, “You would do well in the future, Loki but-“

“Being polite to feeble-minded idiots is not my forte,” Loki interrupted the king as he looked up at him with an arched almost-glare. He dared Odin to hand down his punishment, to get angry at him, to see the fury of implied disrespect behind that too-old, too-wise eye. But instead, he saw almost a simplistic...lov-

Loki looked away, suddenly unable to look at the Allfather. That was not what he had seen. He wanted to see fury, anger, disappointment. Not that meaningless- “You wonder why I said what I said about battlemages?” he suddenly said, trying to focus on something else other than the emotion he caught in the Allfather’s eyes. He did not deserve-he did not _want_ that.

“Perhaps consider why I put myself in that category? Tyr was surely thinking of such thoughts too. Untrustworthy, dishonest, spoiling for a fight. I am not one of them, you see-“

“You have no need to defend yourself to me-“

“Should be stripped of magicks, flayed alive. They should not be allowed to roam-“ he really had to thank Sif for words.

“Loki-“

It was as if a dam had broken in Loki as he felt every single fury, anger, disappointment, hurt, resentment, everything flowing out of him as he glared at the Allfather, disgust coloring his voice, “Why won’t you _do_ anything?!”

“A-Are you waiting for me to come begging?! Is that it?! You want me to beg for my punishment because I completely and utterly lost my mind when I decided that Jotunheim was to be destroyed?! I did it for you! I did it so that we do not have to go to _war_ with all of those…those… _monsters_!” he could feel tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, but could not understand why he wanted to cry. It was as if his heart was being squeezed into two, crushed by the weight of Mjolnir, by the fact that he still saw that disgusting that unyielding _love_ in the Allfather’s eyes. Familial love that he…that…he did not deserve! He could not deserve! He should not have-

“ _I am a Frost Giant! I am a monster!_ ” he shouted, jabbing himself with his fingers, it was what he knew the Allfather wanted to hear, what everyone wanted to hear. Pain, fury, a prideful hurt; feelings he could easily bring to the forefront, but was also frightened at how _easy_ it was to do so, “I _fell_! I was pushed! I saw things…things that only you could imagine! I saw the-the knowledge, t-the infinite wisdom, t-the blackness-“

Loki stuttered to a halt as he could feel something crawl within him, prickling his skin, chilling him as he could suddenly see the darkness, the inky blackness beyond the nothing-

He violently pulled himself out of his thoughts as he stumbled a little shaking his head and looked up at the Allfather once more, noting the concern in his gaze, the worry in that lone eye and something within him was disgusted by it. Why would the Allfather be so worried about him? He was a foundling Prince, abandoned by his real father, abandoned by his adopted father when he fell into the abyss so why in the name of the Norns would he be worried?!

“Loki,” the Allfather’s voice was quiet, but it cut through him to shut him up as he stared up at the infinite all-seeing eye. “There will be no punishment because you do not deserve one.”

Loki could only open and close his mouth several times, his fabled silvertongue failing him as he remembered Volstagg’s quip when they had arrived at Heimdall’s Observatory. He heard the warrior’s feet shift behind him, a clear sign that even he too remembered the same thing.

“I…I _do not_ deserve one?!” was all he could manage, shocked and somewhat disgusted that the Allfather’s affection and _love_ for him could cloud him so.

“You fell,” the Allfather stated simply, “I believe that is punishment enough.”

He could not believe what he was hearing. How could he get away so easily? He shook his head and laughed, surprised at how bitter it sounded. “I will only do everything I did again. And will _gladly_ do so.” It was the truth and was not a bluff on his part as he looked up at the Allfather once more. “I will kill Jotuns, terrorize mortals on Midgard, I will lead an army again, perhaps not now, but in the future. You would do well to put me in chains-“

“Is that what you want, Loki?” the Allfather cut him off, his voice still simple in its tone, but Loki could feel the weight and force of the test behind them.

A part of him wanted to say yes, it was what he was expecting and deserved, but another part of him wanted to rage and deny it. To say that he did not deserve it, that he was who he was and would be forever more. That no one would bind him in the chains of servitude, that he would not bow in wake of the punishment and horrors the Allfather could inflict upon him. Yet, as both warred within him, he realized that he had no answer for the Allfather.

And it showed on his face before the Allfather inclined his head once and stood up. The palace guards immediately stood at attention and Loki could not help but watch in mute silence as the Allfather descended his throne, feeling the sudden _power_ that accompanied his wake. “Walk with me, Loki,” he commanded and Loki blinked, confused for a second before finding that his feet had automatically complied with the request.

He heard Volstagg also start behind him before shuffling to catch up and the two trailed behind the Allfather as he headed out of the throne room and towards the Courtyard of Wonders.

“Lord Volstagg, you are dismissed to your other duties,” the Allfather announced as Loki caught a glimpse of color out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his head a little to see Volstagg stopping as he and the Allfather continued on. The boisterous warrior was joined by none other than Thor and the rest of the warriors, all a little battered from what seemed to be a competent sparring session. He realized that they had heard the whole thing, perhaps even before that with the whole business about the Healers with Tyr.

And while Loki knew that there had to be some embarrassment, he also knew that he actually did feel that way; if they had heard then the better for them. They knew now that there was no punishment in store for him, or at least none that the Allfather cared to voice at the moment. He was not fooled for one moment that the Allfather was planning something, Lady Frigga’s words to him since the last Odinsleep still echoing within him. Everything the Allfather did was calculated and planned…and so as he followed the Allfather into the Courtyard of Wonders and towards the stables, he accepted the lack of punishment, but vowed to silently be aware of any indication that it was just a ploy on the Allfather’s part.

He still did not trust that the Allfather wanted his guard down before inflicting his punishment. But Loki would not be fooled…he would be ready.

* * *

Loki had suspected that the Allfather would want to ride around Asgard, perhaps to show him how the realm had changed in his absence, but instead, he had directed Sleipnir towards the Rainbow Bridge. He followed along with his own horse, falling back into the old habit of riding just behind the Allfather as he and Thor used to do when they went with the Allfather on various diplomatic visits. Silence reigned between the two of them, broken only by the musical tinkling of the Rainbow Bridge’s magicks at work. But instead of having the dark thoughts that clouded his mind when he had walked from the end of the bridge towards the throne room four days ago, Loki found himself oddly relaxed by the rhythmic noise.

It was only when the Allfather reigned Sleipnir to a trot and Loki following suit that he realized why as he took upon the sight of a half-repaired Heimdall’s Observatory that was before him. He blinked and all but pulled his horse to a walk as he stared _up_ at the half-built dome. Already, the triangular point that directed the Bifrost was completely repaired and Loki could literally see the skeins of magicks crisscrossing the dome, lighting it up much like how the Bifrost’s winter-like growth had destroyed it completely.

How had he not _noticed_ this before? Heimdall’s Observatory could be seen from any window, any building within Asgard. How did he… Loki’s lips formed a silent ‘oh’ as he realized that he had been holing himself up in the library or his chambers since his return, not even deigning the outside world a glance. He also had been too lost in the odd tranquility of his thoughts on the ride here, guiding his horse by instinct rather than focusing on anything.

He glanced at the Allfather who had also reined Sleipnir to a walk, the eight-legged war horse chomping at his bit, scoffing the only way it could at the idea of _walking_. Loki resisted the urge to laugh at the sudden human-like sentience of the animal. There had been stories that Sleipnir was once a battlemage who angered Odin, transforming him into an animal as punishment, but no one believed those stories. He knew that Odin had punished others by forcing them into forms not wholly bipedal, but that was not the case of Sleipnir. Yet at the same time Loki could not help but think there was some intelligence behind the eight-legged animal, even if he had been born of an abnormality.

“Your idea of the Healers was a good one Loki,” the Allfather suddenly spoke up as he stopped Sleipnir, Loki pulling his horse along side the steed. He let the reigns loose to allow his horse to nibble a greeting to the war horse, knowing that the two were brothers from the same mare. “I have been having our contingent of battlemages as well as those of the Vanir repairing the Observatory.”

“In four days time?” Loki asked, flexing his fingers in response to the close proximity of magical skeins. He could feel the power and energy coursing through and a part of him, perhaps still only a child, but nonetheless a part of him, wanted to run towards the repair work and _play_ with the magical skeins, to see what he could do with them should they be under his command. Instead, he stopped himself by flexing his fingers to get rid of the feeling.

It would be child’s play to run in and disrupt the work, but the real reason was he did not want to have anything to do with that _edge_ , jagged, broken- He shuddered a little as he blinked away the sudden uneasiness within him. Perhaps when the repairs were done, when that jaggedness was gone…then he would tug at the skeins.

“The Tesseract was what was needed to repair the Bifrost,” the Allfather shifted on his saddle, “and it was the Tesseract that gave us the Bifrost in the first place.”

Loki stared at the Allfather, shock filling him. It was the _Tesseract_ of all things that had _created_ , _given_ , the Bifrost life?! The simple small blue cube that had shown him- He felt a bubble of laughter erupt within him and only managed to keep it down. But it was enough as he saw the Allfather turn a little towards him, his gaze mild. It made sense now, the things it had shown him, the things he had seen- the darkness-

“I had long wondered why Thanos wanted it,” he murmured, unable to meet Odin’s mild look and instead stared at the skeins of magic, his eyes making their way slowly around. “He would use it not only for the knowledge it holds, but also for creating his Bifrost-“

“I believe it be much more than that,” the Allfather replied and Loki made a noise of agreement.

“You would know,” he replied, “you have seen…”

“No,” the Allfather said and Loki was surprised at himself as the Allfather’s iron strong grip landed on his shoulder. However there was no anger, nothing to indicate that he did not want the contact and instead he bit his lip. “I only saw enough…” the Allfather continued, and just like that the iron grip was removed. Loki blinked, but before he could ask the Allfather anymore questions, he pulled Sleipnir away and turned around to head back to the palace.

Loki wanted to ask what he had seen; did he see his suffering? Did he gloat over it? Did he feel _pity_ for him, is that why he declared there to be no punishment? But none of those questions came out of his mouth as he stared at the half-built Observatory for a moment longer.

“Come Loki,” the Allfather called out and Loki pulled himself away from staring at the Observatory, heeling his horse to catch up to the Allfather and Sleipnir. He could not help but feel a sense of relief as he caught up. For a moment there, he thought the emptiness, the darkness would swallow him once more, but then the moment was over, leaving him a little more than shaken.

The ride back was also in silence, but this time the rhythmic musical tapping of hooves against the Rainbow Bridge brought no silence or comfort to Loki as he pondered the Allfather’s words. The dinner feast an hour later was taken in his usual silence, this time eating mechanically instead of randomly picking at his food like he had since his return. He could positively _feel_ Frigga’s pleasure at the fact that he was eating, but knew that the woman he called his mother, would probably see that he was just eating for the sake of eating instead of actually enjoying the food as he once would have.

This time, Volstagg had taken up telling the Courtiers that were in attendance a story of long ago with Faendral speaking up on occasion as it had featured the two on a harrowing journey through the dark lands of Svartalfheim. Loki noted that Thor was laughing at the appropriate places, the story having been told numerous times, but still flicked looks at him to which he promptly ignored. However, he did note that Hogun and Sif had not been laughing as much and instead had been staring at him through the whole feast.

Surprisingly, for someone so adept at reading body language and interpreting facial expressions as he was, he could not figure out what either Hogun or Sif were thinking. There was no pity, nothing to indicate that either of them hated what he had done, nor fury; nothing for him to read into what they had witnessed and heard in the throne room earlier that day.

“If you will excuse me,” he met the Allfather’s gaze and saw him nod once before pushing himself up from the table and left. This time, the murmurs of the feast did not die away into silence, the Courtiers used to his early leavings since his return, but he did hear the scrape of another chair and then the heavy footsteps of the last person that Loki wanted shadowing him like ‘the Allfather bidden them to.’

But Loki refused to give in to ask for another observer, especially so public of a setting as this one. But it was not humiliation for him to ask for another one, but rather he already knew the answer the Allfather was to give him. A simple no, and one word that he still did not want to hear from the Allfather. Hearing it once today during the ride was enough to make him remember the Allfather’s disappointment and understated fury right before he had been thrown-fell-

Loki gritted his teeth as he continued to walk out of the feast, Thor following behind him. He would deal with it silently and hopefully within a few hours, one of the warriors, preferably Hogun because he understood the need for silence, would relieve Thor. He had planned to head back to his chambers, to continue working on one of the experiments, a tessellated spell of sorts, but knew that Thor would only start touching at the random things in his chambers. Even though he had warded it against Thor and the others from entering, the fact that Faendral had entered in after him when he had returned proved that his wards were no longer useful.

He would have to eventually figure out a new spell and re-ward his chambers, but he did not want to do that while Thor was present, his brother would only figure out his intent and promptly do something… _brotherly_ , maybe smothering Norns forbid, to stop him. The next best place was the library even though Thor would be prone to talk; to have that heart-to-heart chat he so very much wanted.

Tomes were not only used for reading, but also useful for shutting up talkative Thunder Gods.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

We’re slowly getting to the team-centric part of the story. Don’t worry, it’s not all going to take place on Asgard (as much as I want it to – Loki reaming out idiotic advisors is funny. Actually Loki reaming out anyone is generally funny in my opinion).

 


	4. Chapter 4

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me, they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 4_

 

It was another seven days since learning the Bifrost was being repaired with the power of the Tesseract, eleven days since his return to Asgard that Loki _finally_ understood why he was not being punished by the Allfather. The Allfather need not punish him because he was going to be punished by someone else.

And Loki knew who it was, and knew him very well.

* * *

The first sign had been one of the healers sent with Tyr’s scouting parties sent forth a familiar that looked like a miniature version of a bilgesnipe, ugly horns and all. Loki was not surprised at the shape of the familiar; after all they tended to be whatever form the caster so pleased. But the Court thought different when the translucent creature came barreling through, ghosting past several Courtiers, some of whom screamed and tried to attack the little bilgesnipe by stomping on it.

Being that it was a spell conjured by magic, and translucent, all who attacked it were off balance. Some fell to the ground, taking others down with them, others flailed about in an effort to stay upright and retain some meager amount of dignity. Loki had to smile at the antics and noted the somewhat exasperated looks from the household guards, all whom had stayed in their place, well-trained to not even move at the sign of a familiar spell.

He lifted a hand and cast a corralling spell around the little wandering bilgesnipe and at the same time read its intentions and owner through the weave. He looked up in time to see the Allfather lowering his arm, having about to do what he had done. “Erikur on Muspelheim. Judging by the size of the bilgesnipe, it seems it is only a small raiding party of sorts,” he said and the Allfather nodded before summoning Tyr to come to the center of the Court with a finger.

“General, send a small contingent of warriors to Muspelheim. Heimdall should have an updated progress. Given that it is the demonlands, they are probably not overwhelmed. Tell your officer to tell the king that we give our respects and only wish to aid his forces. If he wishes we do not interfere, tell him we shall do so, but the scouting party will stay behind to make sure that they are not overwhelmed,” the Allfather commanded and Tyr bowed once before leaving without a second word.

Loki released the corralling spell and watched as the miniature bilgesnipe brayed, snuffling towards several of the ladies of the Court, all whom gasped and backed away. It snuffled some more before fading away, its job done. He still did not know what enemies the Allfather was talking about, but the fact that they had attacked Muspelheim told him the situation was serious enough to warrant a scouting party on potentially the second-most hostile realm aside from Jotunheim.

The demonlands had been neutral in the war between Jotunheim and Asgard, siding and giving quarter to no one. Helheim would have seemed the most neutral, the realm of the un-judged dead had its share of both Jotuns and Asgardians who had fallen in battle, but Muspelheim was in fact truly neutral. It had the highest concentration of magic users in all of the realm, the Jotuns and their natural ice-magic not withstanding, and had stayed away from the conflict. There were always rumors that the demons of Muspelheim were planning a rebellion of sorts, to oust the Allfather from his rule, but nothing ever came to fruition.

Asgard had trade with Muspelheim, but it was limited and mostly through their sister race on Vanaheim. The trade was usually in magicks, spell tomes, or healing stones, albeit brought at a much higher price and taxed rate than if they were to buy it from the inhabitants of Muspelheim themselves. But no one wanted to test those waters, not even the Allfather.

Loki had only been there twice, both diplomatic missions and even he cared not to return unless it was under extreme circumstances. There was something about that realm that did not seem…right. It was nothing _wrong_ per se, but rather something seemed off, as if something in the deep unknown horrors of cosmic entities lurked there. At least that was what the archer Agent Barton seemed to conclude after he had shared that story with him. It was appropriate enough, he supposed, but then again occasionally the mortals of Midgard did like to dream of that which they could not comprehend.

“I apologize for the interruption, Ambassador,” the Allfather inclined his head at the short dwarf from Nidelheim, “you may continue your request and proposal.”

The dwarven ambassador nodded, and continued with the proposal of troops to help subjugate a rebellious population on Nidelheim that had been raiding remote villages where mining operations were stationed. But Loki was not that interested in the affairs of the Nidel at the moment; he was far more interested in the minute trembling posture the ambassador now had as he relayed more flowery words in the proposal.

Before, the ambassador had been completely relaxed and amiable and Loki knew that each realm had been told that scouts from Asgard were arriving to oversee whatever secret operation the Allfather had planned against some unknown enemy. The ambassador had started his speech with thanks from the current reigning Paragon at the scouting forces before gathering some more vague information from the Allfather as to the scouts purpose and length of stay.

The words the Allfather had replied with were frivolous and only meant to assure that the scouts would not interfere with the ruling of the realm instead of giving out actual information – something the ambassador and everyone else in the room with some political sense got, and something the ambassador could only profusely thank without incurring the Allfather’s wrath. But now, there was definitely a tremor within the ambassador’s posture, not quite making it up to his speech, but a tremor nonetheless. He smiled inwardly as he realized the ambassador was afraid, not of the Allfather, but what the bilgesnipe from Muspelheim meant.

If whatever enemy the Allfather was waiting for dared attack Muspelheim, the ambassador was perhaps wondering what would it mean for the peaceful pacifist dwarves of Nidelheim. Would the war-like Alfheim light elves make an incursion into their lands once more, or would they be subjugated under the crushing weight of the Svartalfheim dark elves? There was the fear of the unknown enemy, but also the great fear of what the other realms would do. Of all nine realms, two of them were perhaps the “weakest” or rather, the ones that did not readily go to war unless war arrived at their doorstep. Nidelheim and Midgard. Though Loki supposed Midgard could be crossed off the metaphoric list with the so-called ‘Avengers’ their shining guardians now.

The sudden caw of one of the ravens, Muugin, stopped the ambassador once more as the Court watched the raven sweep over everyone’s heads in a low glide. Muugin flapped his heavy wings several times as he landed on the tip of Gungir. Loki watched with interest as the Allfather’s demeanor became a little more serious at the arrival of his raven. The animal made noises that could have sounded like speech if one could call the cawing of a raven that, but it was quiet enough that only Loki was able to hear the noise.

Just then several ladies and men of the Court yelped and Loki turned to see a translucent six-legged hellhound lope through the Courtiers. It bounded through the ambassador as if he was not there, making the dwarf blink in surprise at its sudden appearance. Loki reached a hand out to encircle the wandering familiar, but before he could do so, he felt Odin’s magicks cast forth and glanced over to see the Allfather’s expression become grim as he spelled the familiar.

“Sire, what-“

“Nidelheim,” Odin’s words silenced the Courtier that had dared to speak up as the hellhound pants echoed in the vast throne room, “a large force. Tyr is aware and is making preparations.” He glanced up at Muugin who cawed and began to preen one of its feathers.

“S-Sire, we have no-“ the dwarven ambassador gasped out as his whole body trembled in fear.

“I will send Lord Hogun to lead Tyr’s warriors, will that be satisfactory ambassador?” the Allfather asked and the ambassador nodded. Loki shook his head a little; really there was no other answer than to say it was satisfactory without insulting the Allfather. Hogun was a good choice, but not the choice he would have made.

“Loki?”

Loki started as he realized the Allfather had caught his movement and huffed an annoyed sigh, “Sire, I believe it would be more prudent to send Lord Volstagg. He has more experience leading both warriors in open battle than Lord Hogun. His loyalty will not be questioned.”

There were gasps from the Court with his last sentence, but Loki caught the Allfather tilting his head in thought and knew that while others had misinterpreted the meaning of his words, the Allfather had instead contemplated them. He did not mean to say that Hogun was disloyal to the court, especially coming from himself, but the fact that every time they had been on Nidelheim, including one of the few adventures hundreds of years ago involving a chalice of sorts, Volstagg by some miracle was able to get the pacifistic inhabitants to spill every secret he could have ferreted from them.

It was something that no one at the Court had picked up on; especially judging by their gasps, but it seemed the Allfather was slowly remembering why he had suggested Volstagg. What he had also suggested was for the Allfather not only to help the realm, but also to find information that would be useful in the future should they need to leverage Nidelheim’s help. It was underhanded, but Loki did not care. Volstagg would be able to tell him any information he had discovered through either application of food and drink or through subterfuge of pretense.

“Lord Volstagg and Lord Hogun will be sent is that to your satisfaction, Ambassador?” the Allfather asked and the ambassador mutely nodded. “Good,” he released the spell upon the familiar and it disappeared before Muugin cawed once more and flew from his perch on top of Gungir, headed towards the direction of the training grounds.

Minutes later the Warriors Three, Lady Sif, and Thor walked in, preceded by the heavy flap of Muugin’s wings. They were all out of breath, but nonetheless had strived to make themselves presentable in the haste of the Allfather’s summons. Muugin cawed again as he lead the way and resumed his perch on top of Gungir. The dwarven ambassador had stepped to the side and watched with the rest of the Court as the fabled warriors of Asgard bowed to the King. Loki could not keep the slight smile off of his face at the surprised look the others were giving him. He knew that they thought his presence at Court days ago was only a random appearance. He met their surprised gazes with a raised chin of his own, daring them to voice their concerns, the contradiction that he should not be at Court standing where he stood, two steps down from the Allfather to his right. But the only gaze he could not quite meet was Thor’s who was staring at him with an unreadable look.

“Lord Hogun, Lord Volstagg, come forth,” the Allfather intoned quietly, his voice carrying once more across the vast throne room with magicks.

“Sire,” both stood up and stepped forward, kneeling again in respect.

“We have received a report that Nidelheim is under attack by the enemy. I have deemed it necessary to send both of you to command a group of General Tyr’s troops. Three battlemages will be assigned for your use. The Ambassador himself will return with you to convey the urgency of the situation and that the Queen need not worry of Asgardian assistance. Heimdall will watch over the situation and send word if necessary,” the Allfather commanded quietly.

“Sire, will there be prisoners?” Hogun asked after the Allfather paused for a moment to let the two of them digest the meaning of his command.

“Spare no one, not even those that surrender,” the Allfather looked stern and Loki was a little confused. Every time Asgard had fought an enemy or made incursions onto other realms to stop rebellions there was always the chance of sparring enemy combatants, taking them as prisoners and spoils of war for use in Asgardian construction or as enemy combatants to be sent to the dungeons. A surrendering enemy was always treated as a prisoner and punished by Asgardian laws, especially if Asgard itself interfered. That was always the way Asgard enforced its laws across the realms. It was what Loki had been expecting since his return from Midgard, but the Allfather had explicitly said there was to be no punishment.

So then why the sudden command to spare no one, not even surrendering prisoners? It was rather curious for the Allfather to contradict the law his forefathers had passed down. Curious…

“As you wish, my King,” Hogun replied and Volstagg made a noise of agreement before the two stood up, bowing to Odin once more. Loki watched as Volstagg gestured for the Nidelheim ambassador to precede them with a gracious sweep of his hand and the ambassador gave both warriors a weak smile as he walked on ahead. The Court parted with some murmurs as the three headed out, Volstagg and Hogun catching Sif, Faendral, and Thor’s eyes and got wide grins in return at the fact that the two were going into battle.

“My Lords,” the cheer that was starting to rise from the Court was cut off as the Allfather suddenly spoke up and even Loki turned to see him staring at them, his lone eye hard as crystal. “Heimdall will not open the Bifrost if there is a single threat alive, not even if it is yourself and a lone survivor. All must perish before you may return.”

Very serious indeed as Loki watched the two bow their heads in acquiesce of the Allfather’s words. They turned around again and continue out, escorting the Nidelheim ambassador. Just as they passed the threshold where the throne room met the edges of the Courtyard of Wonders, a ragged cheer went up within the Courtiers and even then Loki could not help but wonder what new enemy threat made the Allfather concerned enough to warn and give specific orders to two of the deadliest warriors of Asgard?

* * *

No one could blame anyone for the slightly subdued cheer of the feast that evening as Loki once again picked at his meal, eating a little more than pushing his food around, but a lot less than the mechanical eating he had forced himself to go through once every few days just so Lady Frigga would not worry, nor would he have _feel_ her worry. At least she seemed to accept his current eating habits. His trip to the library when Thor had been first ‘bidden’ to watch him had nearly ended up with him throwing a large tome at the Thunder God’s head for his incessant whining about his eating habits, or lack thereof.

Unlike Lady Frigga, Thor still stared at him through part of the meal, the frown of disapproval on his face at his current attempt to make patterns with the sauce with his fork. Loki deigned to even grace the frown with a look of his own. It was pathetic that Thor thought he could _frown_ him into eating better – he would eat when he _wanted_ to, not because Thor approved or disapproved of it. Even if he somehow wheedled the Allfather into making it a command, Loki would certainly disobey it.

He wondered of the three left, who would be assigned to him tonight after he made his excuse to leave. It seemed a bit odd that eleven days since his return, only the Warriors Three, Sif, and Thor had been assigned to watch him every second of the day. The only times he had not been with them was when he was either occasionally in the throne room, with the Allfather, or rarely with Lady Frigga. They had even watched him as he had prepared to turn in for the night, which Loki had to admit after all, was as disconcerting for him as it had been for Sif. But he would never tell anyone that and certainly never showed it, having changed quickly into a looser night outfit and turning his back to her while he tried to sleep.

During his first night he had briefly woken up and thought he saw Lady Frigga instead of Sif sitting by his bedside instead of standing by the threshold between the two chambers, but his mind was a little too muddled to really care who was watching him and had fallen back asleep. He had woken up to see Sif again the next morning and so had thought it was perhaps just his imagination.

Of the three left, he supposed Sif was perhaps the better choice since their brief, but enlightening conversation in the library. She had all but ignored him and had not made any attempts at conversation since then, rivaling Hogun in the silent sentinel department. Faendral was perhaps marginally worst, still rather annoyed at having been ‘bidden’ to watch him and Loki could occasionally hear the grinding of teeth from the fair-haired warrior. He knew the warrior thought his time was better spent flirting with the maidens of the Court, or even warming their beds whenever he was not training with Thor and the others.

Thor…Thor was the worst and it seemed that whatever orders the Allfather had commanded the five of them, perhaps there was some mercy in those orders as it seemed Thor had been least ‘bidden’ to watch him. But his brother had always found an excuse or _something_ to wander by and try to talk to him. Just two days ago Loki had been working on his tessellated spell experiment with Hogun nearby when Thor had all but barged into the room and it only took some effort on Loki’s part not to throw the experiment into Thor’s face. It was not that he could not do so; it was that he did not _know_ what would happen with the tessellated spell. He had not time to figure out the results and so it would not have been well for him to find himself perhaps bisected or worst, exist on a completely different plane of existence with his experimental spell.

But then again…if he knew it had done any of those things he would have gladly thrown it at Thor, consequences be damned. The Allfather had deemed him to be not punished so who was he to care that Thor was an idiot and oaf who had never learned the meaning of leaving others alone.

The familiar caw of a raven, followed by the echoing response from Muugin still sitting on the tip of Gungir by the Allfather’s chair, made Loki look up from his musings and aimless scraping of his plate. Huugen flew into the feast, flapping his heavy wings as he landed on the Allfather’s outstretched arm, pecking at a piece of meat before the great big black eyes met the Allfather’s lone blue one. A few in the feast looked towards where the two ravens were now perched, but all were used to the ravens flying in and out of feasts, the Allfather receiving messages from the realms even during feasts.

Loki was about to ask the Allfather his nightly permission to leave when the ripple of hushed murmurs started from the far side of the table and slowly spread towards his side. He looked beyond the sitting bodies and blinked in surprise. Without even thinking, Loki stretched out a hand and gently encircled the limping little bilgesnipe familiar that had entered the feasting hall.

He corralled it and even before he read it, he knew that whoever had summoned it was near death. A spell was always a reflection of the state of the caster. Familiar spells doubly so as they represented the caster themselves. Did that mean that Erikur and the force sent to Muspelheim- No wait…the limping, pathetically snuffling bligesnipe that looked already half-dead was _not_ Erikur’s as he concentrated on the familiar itself. Rather it belonged to Erikur’s twin, Hilde…

He knew of the twin healers, as did everyone and anyone who had taken a trip to the healing halls. The two were gifted their arts though Erikur was more gifted in the secondary art of poisoning than Hilde, one of the two purposes of a healer. But why would Hilde send a familiar so late and especially when she was close to dying- Loki frowned as he gently brushed the dying familiar with a spell. It was not courtesy on his part for being so gentle, but rather he knew that if he had just read it like he had with Erikur’s familiar earlier that day, the wounded bligesnipe would all but disappeared and no information could be gathered.

“…Ambushed,” he murmured, dimly aware that silence had fallen upon the table as he knitted his brows in concentration. He bolstered the corralling spell, trying to keep the familiar alive as it flickered and nearly faded. It whined and snuffled a bit, staggering to the left and right, clearly almost unable to survive. “…they were ambushed…on…Jotunheim.” Loki sucked in a quick breath as the last he remembered of that forsaken world was firing the Bifrost at it. However, he cleared the thought from his head and concentrated once more on the familiar.

“The enemy…a great host of…” Loki stopped as he tried to read the spell again, but the force of his spelling made the familiar suddenly give a staggered cry before it disappeared with a sickly pop.

He had not read it wrong.

A sense of dread formed within him as he stared at the spot where the familiar had been corralled. It made sense now, why the Allfather had not punished him because he had _expected_ someone else to do the punishing. Expected and was apparently willing to allow it. He wanted to laugh at the beauty of it. Cruelty at its finest and most deservedly so, he supposed, as he managed to school his face into a semblance of neutrality.

If that was it then…

He turned to the Allfather, sure that his face was as impassive as it could ever be, “…a great host of Chitauri, Allfather.”

And where the Chitauri were, so was the Other.

And where the Other sent his forces, Thanos was guiding it.

* * *

Loki supposed that the Allfather thought since he knew who the mysterious enemy was, that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. But he supposed the Allfather had at least graciously allowed him to dress in his battle armor, sans the ridiculous helmet he wore only for intimidation purposes, as he dismounted his horse to enter Heimdall’s rebuilt Observatory. He would probably be sent to Jotunheim to fight the Chitauri, or perhaps even surrendered to them in exchange for peace in the realms. Perhaps that was why the warriors had all been ‘bidden’ to watch him, to make sure he did not escape into the shadows, the darkness-

He blinked and gritted his teeth together, banishing any thoughts of the void between Yggdrasil’s roots. Thanos would certainly never let him forget it. The Other had threatened so lightly that no crevasse, no crack would be able to hide him from the pain he were to experience if he should fail in retrieving the Tesseract for Thanos. There would be time enough for his…reunion, if one could call it that, with the unforgiving void. He need not think about it just at this moment, perhaps to relish the last bits of “freedom” he had been given for the last eleven days.

Thor, Sif, and Faendral were all dressed in their battle armors too as he looked around the crowded Observatory. General Tyr and a large contingent of warriors were there as well as several battlemages and three healers. He supposed that they were there to ensure the Chitauri upheld their end of the bargain while he was being handed over. Surprisingly, Lady Frigga had accompanied them, dressed in regal blues and looking like the Queen she was.

“The scouting party has fallen and King Helblindi is rallying his forces to the fortress,” Heimdall intoned as they walked in and the Allfather nodded once in acknowledgment.

“We have a tentative agreement with the new King of the Jotuns. Laufey’s eldest son became king after six months of civil war,” the Allfather said conversationally to him and Loki resisted the urge to flinch at the mention of Laufey. That Jotun was _not_ his father. And the fact that Odin had all but implied that Helblindi, or whoever this Jotun was, could be his brother, older brother or younger he did not know, grated on him. He saw Thor cast him a sidelong glance, but Loki turned so that he did not have to face him. Damn him for what he had heard…and damn Allfather for saying what he had just said.

“We have been offering our resources and that of the Vanir for supplies to help rebuild Jotunheim-“

“Why just give them the Casket of Winters,” he suddenly bit out, anger curling at the edges of his senses.

“Because we do not have it anymore. It has been lost since the Bifrost destroyed,” the Allfather chided and Loki huffed an annoyed breath. More reminders of his failure and just even standing in the rebuilt Observatory felt like a slap in the face. He suddenly did not want to be here, wanted to be far away from the Bifrost itself, away from Heimdall, away from-

“Just send me there already,” he muttered mostly under his breath, but saw Odin frown as he caught his words. However, the Allfather did not reply and instead turned to Heimdall.

“I am sending for Erikur to meet us on Jotunheim. If he is not engaged in battle and there are no immediate threats, you may send him to Jotunheim after us,” the Allfather raised his arm and Muugin flew from his perch on top of Gungir after pecking Huugen in what seemed to be sharp affection. Loki watched as a swirl of spellwork engulfed the raven and he disappeared with a slight popping noise.

“As you command,” Heimdall intoned.

“Queen Frigga will watch over Asgard in my absence,” he gestured to Frigga who inclined her head regally, “I will be taking Thor and Lord Faendral with me. If Lord Hogun and Lord Volstagg have successfully repelled the forces on Nidelheim, they may join us if there are no other immediate threats. General Tyr, you may deploy the rest of your troops as you see fit if the other realms are under attack from the Chitauri.”

Loki could not help but flinch at the word and saw Thor frown, but he knew it was not from his movement. He knew his brother was thinking about his pittance of a band of warriors on Midgard. The ‘Avengers’ as the man of iron called themselves. It would be deliciously ironic if they faced yet another Chitauri invasion, but could not blame him since he was, or well, would be on Jotunheim, or rather even by then in the clutches of Thanos.

“Lady Sif, you are to stay here under your current orders,” the Allfather said and Loki saw Sif straighten, a little before Faendral clapped her on the shoulder, chuckling a little while Thor only smiled in apology at the fact that she was being left behind. Loki briefly wondered what her orders were, but before he could really ponder about it he felt himself stiffening under the Allfather’s sharp gaze.

The anger and fury at the way he had been treated so nicely only to be thrown to the Chitauri started to work its way up to the forefront of his emotions-

“Thanos will never gain what he seeks,” Odin said quietly and Loki instantly felt every single emotion deflate from him, leaving him almost gasping as he _stared_ at the Allfather.

He had known. The Allfather had known all this time…and Loki realized how _foolish_ he had been since his return. The mirthless chuckle that threatened to spill from his lips as he began to appreciate the intricacies of the Allfather’s simplistic, yet so effective plan – so much that even he, the one who loved to think of intriguing plots within plots and third options to every solution – was so fooled.

At the same time, he also realized that he had unknowingly tried to save himself from what he had deemed inevitable. His research into the geas, not for the Allfather, but rather for himself. To free himself of what he had always suspected but now with the seven simple words spoken by Odin, confirmed for him to be true. The Allfather had said that he had seen “enough” but never elaborated. Loki had thought since then that the Allfather had only seen what he wanted to see – perhaps the tortured darkness, the pain, the infinite knowledge, but it was all wrong. No, the Allfather had _seen_ and he had _understood_ and he had begun to make plans because it all led to this…

And just as he started to appreciate the mastery of the Allfather’s plans, at the same time Loki could not help but feel disgusted by it. Odin may have claimed that there was no punishment, that there was… _love_ …for him that he could not bear to see, but it was not what he wanted. It was not that he did not deserve it, even though perhaps just weeks ago he would have craved it, but rather Loki felt he was beyond it. The Allfather still thought him as a young, incompetent fool who needed a father’s help with this problem. No, Loki would use this to his advantage and _fix_ it on his own – thus proving to the Allfather, proving to Thor, proving to _everyone_ that he was who he was.

He was simply, Loki.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I’m obviously mixing a little more Norse mythology than the comics itself, but set in the movie-verse so things about the other realms may be not in line with the comics. Truth be told, never really read _Thor_ comics and only knew of the Avengers through the _X-Men_ and even then I stopped reading _X-Men_ for a while now. One of the reasons I like Loki a lot is actually based off of an anime made back in the early 2000s and thus ended up transferring some of that love to movie!Loki (and Tom Hiddleston is awesome).

And the plot thickens!

 


	5. Chapter 5

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 5_

 

Two days had passed since the Allfather led the warriors to Jotunheim; two days and not even a single familiar or word from Muugin or Huugen about the situation on the realm of ice. But it was two days for Loki to come to terms with what the Allfather had always known, and for the realization of what he was _doing_ in the meantime. It was also two days of letting the simmering anger and resentment to build within Loki as he realized that while it seemed the Allfather loved him unconditionally, he had not _trusted_ him enough to tell him this. Instead had utterly led him through vague guesses and through metaphoric “hoops” as Barton had been telling him – all those unusual Midgardian colloquialisms – to the point where he figured it out on his own.

It also stood to reason that Lady Frigga had known of the whole thing, he was sure of it now as he reflected upon the eleven days since his return. She had _mothered_ him to the best of his ability and he had been so blinded to it. He wanted to lash out at her, but at the same time he knew that she did not deserve his anger, even if a part of him said it was childish and petty. He _wanted_ to be petty…it helped him deal with the feeling of being used by the Allfather, of being kept in the dark about Thanos of all things.

The fact that the Allfather had known of his deepest fear had all but struck Loki as arrogance on the Allfather's part. He _did not_ need Odin's help thank you very much. Still, he supposed he could have at least made the best of the situation given and allowed the Allfather his chance at expressing whatever familial love the old king felt. He knew he could have used it, but it had to have been examined later as he allowed the anger to continue to simmer within him.

The same could not be said of the other Warriors and the Court itself.

Further examination of Sif’s actions since that day told him that the Warriors and perhaps on some level even Thor, had been unaware of what was happening. It seemed that all they had known was that this was a very important order from the Allfather to watch him at all times and all had taken their duties seriously. He could not be too sure about Thor because he knew that the Allfather shared confidences with him that he dared not share with anyone else but the Cro- the _Prince_ of Asgard. As far as Loki was concerned Thor still did not deserve the title of Crown Prince – he was the one who had been left in charge of Asgard during the Allfather’s Odinsleep; he, not Thor.

But the more Loki thought about it, the more he realized that Thor probably had no idea what was going on – which meant the Allfather had kept it to himself. If Thor had known, he would have already been peppered with incessant and annoying questions aside from the usual ones about his lack of eating habits and closeting himself for either research or experimentation purposes. Thor’s overt attempts at brotherly concern would have already given Loki an excuse to blast him into a nearby wall or walk into one of his training sessions and blast him with his magicks.

Or even throw the tessellated spell experiment he was currently working on.

“Is it supposed to do that?” Sif’s voice broke into Loki’s thoughts as he blinked and realized that the spell hovering in his hands flickered and sparked angrily.

“No,” he arched an eyebrow at her before returning to stare at the spell and pushed away the surge of annoyance and anger he had felt moments ago. He pushed away all thoughts about Thor and what he had known. He knew he could not fully push away his revulsion and annoyance at the Allfather for playing this game, but at least he would be able to contain it. Twirling the fingers on his left hand a little, he flicked the spell around as he felt it settle and stared at it some more, picking apart the workings of the spell that he had put on, noting a little crookedness in its execution.

Once the crookedness was fixed, he once again weaved the spell once more and leaned back a little in his chair, playing with the tessellated spell for a few seconds, quickly scanning to make sure that it was secure and not bound to explode or react in ways unexpected for the moment. A small smile played over his lips as he flicked the spell back and forth with his fingers…he still had no idea what it really did, but all he knew was that it was perfect.

“…it is quite-“ Loki turned to stare at Sif who had also been staring at the spell in his hands and caught her gaze before she clamped her mouth shut, her lips turning down in their customary frown that she always wore in his presence.

He rolled his eyes and looked away, his hands still absently flicking it this way and that. He had thought that there was at least some wonderment in Sif’s gaze before she had caught herself looking at his creation. He considered tossing it to her to see what she would do, but he supposed that she would more than likely drop it or think of it as a prelude to attack. Loki shook his head a little; she used to be so open minded before she had become determined to the warrior way and cause. There was still that hint of open-mindedness when she had tried to challenge his authority while he was King, but even then, he knew that she had only done it out of some unrequited love for Thor and to spite him.

The spite the two had for each other was mutual, but Loki figured it was more overt on her part than on his part. Then again, he did have something to do with the reason why her hair was jet black instead of it's ginger-blonde color. If anyone asked, he would freely admit that it was his doing. Whether or not the fault lied with him was dependent on the perspective and questions asked.

“Is that for him?” Sif suddenly asked, her tone clipped.

“For whom?” he continued to absently spin the tessellation between his fingers, marveling at the simplistic yet complex work he had created. It had been a long time since he had created a spell of his own and while he still did not exactly know what he would do with this one, he supposed he could test it out with illusions and the like, perhaps as a way to fend off an attacker or distract them.

“For him, the one you are afraid of,” Loki stilled at Sif's question and pursed his lips.

“Whatever do you mean?” he asked neutrally, feigning as if he did not know what she was talking about. He settled the spell back down on its perch, mindful that perhaps Sif was baiting him and thus channeling his emotions into the spell to make it react.

“You cannot lie to me Loki, not while you sleep,” Sif stared at him and Loki saw something hungry in her eyes, almost gleeful if one could call it that. He threw her a withering look, but she did not retreat nor react. “You are afraid.”

“Of you, certainly not,” Loki deflected, but she shook her head.

“You call against him at night, when you are at your utmost relaxed state. I've seen it, Loki. Is that spell for him? The one you do not want to face?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Why are you avoiding my question?” she countered, “just answer the question-”

“I do not answer to you-”

“A King always answers to their subjects-”

“Well I am not King-” he started but she laughed and he was shocked at how bitter it sounded.

“You only wish you were, _my Prince._ You only wish that the Allfather had truly died and you were made King. In fact, I believe that you killed Laufey because you knew we had returned with Thor and thus wanted to save face...”

Oh, so that was what Sif was after, Loki thought as he stared at her. “You think I wanted Odin dead, is that it?!” he said softly to her, “that I would have only saved him just because I needed him alive? You are sorely mistaken, Lady Sif. Odin is alive because _I_ am the rightful King of Asgard and he-” He paused as a smile graced Sif's features and frowned.

“So there is love under all that bitterness and hate,” she said and Loki looked away, unable to meet her gaze anymore. Sif was not after what he had thought, but rather had been trying to show him that on some level, he still loved Odin, loved the man he had called _father_ for so long.

“Wordsmithing is not your forte, Sif,” he muttered.

“And still can't accept the fact that you are not the only one,” she shook her head, “the Allfather was right to have us keep an eye on you. I have only learned that just now.”

“Learned what?” Loki asked, feeling petulant at Sif's skilled manipulation of not his words, but rather his emotions.

“It has taken me a while to figure it out, but know this, you are not alone,” she said with a mysterious smile and he could only stare at her. That had been perhaps the most obtuse answer she had ever said and stared at her for a long moment, seeing if she would crack and tell him what she had meant. But after a while, he looked away, noticing the slight triumphant smirk she wore at his apparent defeat of forcing her to say what she knew. Let her think that, he thought with a touch of bitterness, he would eventually wheedle it out of her; certainly not now, not when she was bolstered by her confidence, or rather, overconfidence, but much later.

For now, he would allow her the thought that she was victorious.

“So, is that spell for him?”

Loki ignored her question as he stood up and headed out of his chambers. He heard Sif scrambling to follow behind him, her boots clicking sharply against the polished floors, just a hair off of his own pace as she hurried to catch up.

“You did not answer my question-”

“The Allfather should have returned or at least given word by now,” he refused to answer her question. It was not the fact that he did not have an answer for her, but rather, he refused to acknowledge that she had given him an idea for that tessellated spell. He knew he should have been concerned that she gave no indication that she knew who he had been apparently dreaming about during his sleep. But at the same time he reasoned that she had plenty of opportunities to watch him sleep. But the fact that he could use that tessellated spell for _him_...

He frowned. The spellwork would have to be incredibly complex judging by what he knew about him. Any mistake on his part and everything would fall apart. He shook his head a little – too complex and too little time if the Chitauri were attacking the realms. It was a good idea for his spell, but one he doubted would be able to be completed. On the other hand, if he was able to convince the Allfather or somehow let it slip about his new spell...then there was the chance of it working to his advantage.

However, the Chitauri attack was first and foremost. It was a distraction, but nonetheless one that had warranted the Allfather's presence in Jotunheim. Why he had gone to that forsaken ice world was beyond Loki, but he supposed that if there ever was a time to enforce the might of Asgard, it would be in a crisis point like this; clever on Odin's part, clever and ultimately foolish for a race of monsters.

“It is strange that even the ravens have not returned,” Sif agreed as he made his way to the stables. The echoes of judgment rendered upon those who had pleaded problems and troubles to Queen Frigga echoed in the distance. He could hear Sif's unspoken question of whether or not Frigga should be told of his venture, but once again Loki ignored the question and started his horse off in the direction of the Rainbow Bridge and the Bifrost.

They rode in silence as Loki saw the looming golden Observatory grow larger and larger in his field of vision. Soon they arrived and he slowed his horse down to a walk before dismounting, letting his horse wander a little a bit to nibble a greeting to Sif's mount. Many of the stablemasters thought that Svadilfari's friendliness with the other horses was a sign of a bad mount, but Loki allowed it, seeing the horse as a reflection of himself when it was a more idyllic time of unbroken truths and lies that had been spoken by the Allfather.

He approached the mouth of the Observatory noting that Heimdall had only turned minutely to acknowledge that his approach had been seen and instead, stood facing the singular direction the Bifrost was currently pointing at. Actually the only direction it had been pointed at since two days ago. Towards Jotunheim.

“What news?” Loki asked, opting for the direct and blunt approach rather than the usual dagger hidden behind words. He saw the bunching of muscle underneath the Guardian's jaw and knew that he had taken him completely off guard with his words.

“None that I can see,” Heimdall replied in his deep, heavy tone. “It is sorcery at work that I cannot decipher.”

“The Jotuns?” Sif asked, stepping forward and facing the direction Heimdall faced even though she could not see like he did.

Heimdall cocked his head for a moment before shaking it, “No. I do not think it is their workings.”

“The Chitauri then,” Sif said, “if not for the ice, snow, biting winds-”

“The weather patterns of the lands are still the same on Jotunheim,” the Guardian intoned and Loki frowned as he wrapped his head around the words.

“I...do not understand-” Sif's normally upturned lips were turned down in a frown.

“They are invisible?” Loki cut Sif off as he looked at Heimdall who nodded once and his frown grew deeper.

“Is it Chitauri magicks?”

“The Chitauri do not have magic,” Loki dismissed her question with a wave of his hand, “they have magick-techs, but no magic. They rely on brute strength and force alone.”

“Then how-”

“We need to summon the Allfather back,” Loki realized that only one other being could disguise the magicks of the flesh and of a being from Heimdall besides him. But when had he learned it...perhaps it was from _her_. After all, they were lovers and Thanos loved her so to the point of fanatical devotion. What other being would make use of the Chitauri, mindless drivel whose only purpose was to conquer and destroy everything in their wake? Who were like locusts upon fields of wheat, destroying everything in their path.

“I cannot open the Bifrost-”

“But you can see them right?” Loki glared up at the Guardian who met his look with a stony one of his own. “So summon them back-”

“I will not,” Heimdall shook his head, “unless ordered by the-”

“Oh for the love of the Norns!” he threw his hands up in exasperation, “Fine, if it is Queen Frigga's permission then I will get it.” He growled lowly at the stubborn Guardian, wishing he could just freeze him in his spot like he had done before with the Casket of Winters. But Loki also knew that he would be treading a fine line on the Allfather's hospitality and perhaps make him reconsider not punishing him, or throwing him to the Chitauri, if his beloved little Guardian was frozen by the power of the Casket. It had taken him two days of digging around his vacuum pocket, having not accessed it in such a long time that he had almost forgotten the spell to realize that he still had the Casket of Winters upon himself when he had been _thrown-fell_ from the Bifrost.

“Loki what-”

He threw his hand out and summoned his familiar, shaping it with a curling smile before sending it forth with his will to bring Queen Frigga here.

“Loki! That is-”

“Disgusting? Misuse of Erikur and Hilde's forms? How sentimental-” he stopped as he grinned at her, “A bligesnipe will _certainly_ get the Queen's attention and bring her here at once. Everyone will know that something is wrong instead of running around trying to find a battlemage that has not already been sent with General Tyr's troops!”

“You could have ridden back,” Sif said dryly and Loki spared her a withering look. That was the best she could come up with? She shrugged, his look clearly not affecting her before she turned to the Guardian, “Lord Heimdall, is it that you cannot see Thor and the Allfather upon the battlefield or you cannot see anyone on the battlefield itself?”

“I see the scuffling of feet upon powdery snow and perhaps bodies slain, but not bodies fallen. There are signs of battle where ice is broken or the ground cracked, but I do not know who made those,” Heimdall seemed happy to explain the situation to Sif, but Loki could sense the underlying worry and fear that pervaded his words. At least that was the only thing the two of them silently agreed on.

“Not even Mjolnir's call?”

“No. But the swirl of clouds above tell me that perhaps both the Crown Prince and the Allfather are fighting,” Heimdall replied and looked to say more when he canted his head a little, his eyes sharpening.

“What?” both Sif and Loki nearly spoke at the same time.

“I was able to suddenly see the battlefield, but only of the Jotuns and a brief glimpse of red upon a crown of gold followed by lightning.”

“...Thor...” Sif breathed out quietly and Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the wonderment and _happiness_ in her voice. He wondered if he should mention that Thor had his eye on a mortal woman and would never see Sif for whom she was, a lady, instead of the warrior he fought alongside. But that was a cruelty he could use later, he suppose as he restrained himself from saying anything. Let Sif think what she wanted now, it would be all the more useful later to use it against her and crush her when she dared try to use her meager words against him again.

“The spell has not lifted,” Loki did not voice it as a question, but Heimdall nodded nonetheless.

“It has not,” the Guardian agreed, “this is troublesome.”

“How so, Lord Heimdall?” Frigga's gentle voice made them all turn to see her walk in, straightening her dress from what seemed to be a fast ride from the palace. The little snuffling miniature bligesnipe followed behind her and Loki reached out to gather the spell back. It disappeared in a faded flash and he coughed lightly as Frigga directed a warm smile towards him. “Thank you Loki, for summoning me in such a fashion. I at least had the perfect excuse to stop that dreadful report about the crop situation on Alfheim. Of course, the rest of the Court were frightened out of their wits, but perhaps it would do them well to be reminded of the warriors amongst them that so selflessly fight for more stories to be told at the feasting tables.”

“Of course,” Loki could not say anything else after those words, not without hurting Frigga or even insulting himself.

“And how is this spellwork troublesome?” the Queen turned her gaze to Heimdall who bowed his head once in respect to her position.

“When the Allfather was sent to Jotunheim, one could have been mistaken for the fact of King Helblindi's tactical retreat to the fortress that the Chitauri were advancing and he was fortifying his position. But I now see that the Jotun King had been fighting all along. The Allfather disappeared from my vision just a little over a day ago-”

“A day?! You should have told us-”

“Peace Loki, I wish to hear this,” Frigga held up her hand and Loki immediately clamped his mouth shut, but seethed at the command.

“I turned my gaze upon the other worlds, including those that have yet to be attacked since General Tyr was sent to Vanaheim after receiving Adair's familiar. What I had thought had been idleness upon the scouts and their parts, perhaps exclusion of the healer within their groups was not so. They were fighting, but one could not recognize the markers unless one looked for it.”

“Upon rolling hills and rocky outcroppings, it would not be easy to spot, say unless the rock blew apart or there were impact circles upon grasses,” Loki murmured as he realized the extent of the spellwork surrounding all of this.

“Yes,” the Guardian agreed quietly, “hence it is my belief that all of the realms are under attack now.”

“But why have no familiars arrived from say Midgard or Svartalheim?” Sif asked, confused.

“If you cannot see anyone save for just the signs of battle, then the healers may already be dead,” Loki looked at Sif and Frigga. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Heimdall nod, “Completely and utterly ambushed. Hilde must have been lucky to get her message off considering the refinement of the spell.”

“Indeed,” the Guardian said.

“So then what-”

“They may already be here...” even before Loki finished his words, he cast out a scanning spell, sending it as far as he dared for any sign of intruders, anyone...anything...hoping and praying that Thanos had not found him. But he could not sense anything amiss-

“Loki?” Frigga's voice near him made him jump a little as he came back into himself to see her staring at him. At first he thought she was looking at him accusingly, that he had done magic as he was wont to do whenever he was bored. She had always chided him for his blatant displays, but also praised him for the conjured flowers he occasionally had presented to her when he was but a boy. But he realized that she was not looking at him with condemning eyes, but rather as an equal, as someone who had skills worthy to offer to the situation.

He wanted to snarl at that, to say that he always had skills to contribute, but at the same time knew that she did not deserve his ire.

“I do not know what I cannot sense,” he said shaking his head, “It is...” He trailed off as he bit his lip. It was risky, but it was a way he could use the spell to see if Thanos' ability to render the battlefield from Heimdall's omniscient eyes was in Asgard. It would tell him if they were truly after him. “I can...” he found himself hesitating and wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but the laugh was stuck in his throat.

Frigga's warm, soft hand rested on his shoulder and Loki felt ashamed to take all the comfort he could from it. He should not have to take something that he knew he had earned long ago, but at the same time, he could not help himself. He focused himself and looked up to the three, “I can look into the shadows and isolate the spell Thanos is clearly using to shield his troops from view.”

“And what good will it do?”

“I can use it and cast it upon Asgard for intruders,” he tried to answer with the venom of Sif's idiotic question, but it seemed that it was lost on her. Or perhaps had no venom at all judging by Frigga squeezing his shoulder in reassurance.

“And how would you know to do this?” Heimdall lifted an elegant eyebrow at him and Loki raised his chin up, daring the Guardian to do anything – anything at all – to him for his answer. The Guardian could use a good freezing now and then...

“I taught Thanos how to move in the shadows of Yggdrasil.”

Silence greeted his answer and even Frigga's hand had stilled on his shoulder.

“ _What_?” Sif had a thunderous look on her face and her hand was halfway to her sword by her side. “You taught Thanos-”

“Do you even know who he is?”

“No, but that does not mean-”

“It means nothing to you obviously so please do not judge me like you have the right to do so,” Loki cut Sif off viciously, taking a small amount of pleasure at the hurt on her face before turning to Heimdall, “I taught him the spellwork to move through the shadows of Yggdrasil, and it seemed he has used it to great effect, moving the Chitauri through them.”

“But invisibility? What is to prevent him from coming to Asgard-”

“Because one could only move through the shadows of the places within the worlds you have already been to, or traveled to!” in hindsight, Loki realized that perhaps it was because he was a Jotun and had been abandoned in the temples above the ice wasteland, he had retained a distant, forgotten memory of the layout. That was how he was able to lead the thieves into the vault using his own knowledge.

“Then he does not know Asgard?” Frigga asked and Loki shrugged.

“I do not know,” he replied, “but what I do know is that he is a master of manipulation and this new invisibility spell on a mass scale is something I...something that is currently unknown to me.” _But will be known soon enough...he will_ not _beat me_ , he thought viciously. He may have taught Thanos out of some misguided exchange for taking him out of the void, the darkness-but it was darkness all the same. The shadows...the spaces in-between Yggdrasil-

“What is wrong, Loki?” Frigga asked and Loki knew that some of his reluctance must have shown judging by the fact that he had one hand curled into a fist.

“N-Nothing is wrong,” he bit out, “I will look-”

“Loki, if you are afraid-”

“I am _not_ afraid!” he rolled his shoulder out of Frigga's grip and did not quite glare at her as he stared at a point beyond her before turning around and sending the others a scathing look, “I will look and we will have our spell-”

He clamped his lips shut as he turned and with a hand drew a line at the skeins and sinews of the Bifrost that he knew were in the Observatory. It had been rebuilt to mirror the old one, complete with the same weaves that held the Bifrost stability in place. He wondered if the battlemages that had been overseeing its construction really understood what they were working with - he supposed they did not, otherwise they would have also learned to walk the shadows like he had.

Tugging at the skeins of magic, he gently pulled at the threads, sending bits of magic through his hands and coaxed the portal to open before him – just a peek.

_BlacknessdarknesssomanythingscannotseeunseefallingwhyamIhere-_

Loki trembled the cacophony of noise before him, at the _silence_ before him, so loud that he wanted to scream as he remembered falling and tumbling through the darkness, falling from the Bifrost – from this very place-

_IdonotwanttodieyetblacknessfearpainwhywasIbetrayed-_

“Loki, the spell...”

He gasped; feeling like he had swam deep into the oceans of Midgard for several leagues. Oh, right, the spell. Thanos' spell. He watched as the shadows _moved_ , and a second later he could see a distant speck growing larger and larger. He could see the serpentine forms of the Chitauri swarming around, troops readying for another invasion, a realm of blue-white-green, Midgard a part of him realized, but Loki ignored it as he reached further towards the imposing form that he knew _so_ well. Loki cast out another spell within the shadows and brushed it gently, hoping, praying that the unforgiving eyes would not turn to him-

“I-I...got it!” he gasped out, deliriously happy before he quickly backed away, far away. _Pleasedontseemedontseemedontseeme_ -

It was like pulling himself out deep muck, a soft squishing sound that threatened the suck him back under, but Loki managed to re-orient himself as the golden hues of the Observatory made themselves known at the vague edges of his consciousness and his fingers automatically moved, sealing the path, sealing everything beyond it before he realized he had all but sat down in the middle of the Observatory, his hands shaking as the last vestiges of the void disappeared with a quiet slushing sound.

“Loki?”

He looked up to see three sets of eyes staring back down at him and he scrambled to his feet, unwilling to show how _scared_ he had been. He coughed as he brushed the invisible dirt off of his clothes and nodded sharply. “I have to spell, give me a moment,” he turned his back to them, taking a quick moment to push away the fear before replacing it with the annoyance at the task. It took him another moment to apply the spell to his scan and cast his senses far and wide once more with a theatrical splay of his hands. He closed his eyes as he turned, scanning with his mind's eye for the spell, searching-

“Nothing,” he declared, opening his eyes again.

Frigga smiled and sighed with relief as did Sif. “Then we are safe-”

“No we are not,” he cut the Queen off; “Thanos will attack Asgard when we are off guard. And he will attack soon.” The unforgiving eyes had seen him as he had been pulling out of the shadows and they had promised what the Other had said – unimaginable pain.

“We need the Allfather back,” he said. _I need him back_. _He promised that Thanos would never get what he wanted_. _I will hold him to that promise._

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I’ve already outlined the whole story so we’re going at a good pace right now. Things will start to make sense as well as having the mystery deepen. Apologies to readers for the past week – a nice little blizzard trapped me at a place where I could not readily post until I got home.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 6_

 

There was no restful sleep for Loki during the night after he, Sif, and Queen Frigga left the Observatory. Heimdall had said it was too dangerous, the situation unknown for him to knowingly open the Bifrost to potential hostile forces only to summon the Allfather back when he himself had not ordered the Bifrost opened. But the Queen had at least taken the gravity of his words and said she would mobilize the remaining warriors left and place the palace guards on alert for any potential intruders as Heimdall worked on trying to find a way to activate the Bifrost without putting Asgard in harm's way.

He stared up at the darkened ceiling, his blankets askew from the tossing and turning of his attempts to sleep. He could have easily sent a familiar to Jotunheim, through the skeins of magic to Odin, but unable to pinpoint the Allfather's location would have been fruitless. A glimpse of Thor upon the battlefield did not tell him where the Allfather was. And Thor would not be able to read the spell. He was pretty certain Thanos was sending the Chitauri to Midgard and absently wondered what Thor would make of his mortal friends, the Avengers, in this situation. They could not blame him now, he supposed, after all, he was here in Asgard, not leading the bestial, mindless force in an attempt to conquer the realm.

“It is all right to be afraid, my son,” Frigga's gentle voice echoed in the darkness and he turned towards her voice, “and your look of exasperation is wasted upon me in the dark.”

“I can make it brighter if you wish,” he said petulantly as he shifted and turned his back towards her, trying to look like he was settling to sleep.

“Fear does not make you weak,” she continued softly and he snorted.

“I know that,” he shot back, feeling easier at throwing biting comments towards her when he could not see her. However, he still could feel a bit of guilt within him for doing that.

“Nor does it make you strong,” she said and Loki paused in his shifting, staring ahead at the workstation where his tessellated spell sat on its perch. That was something he did not expect to hear from her...

“Fear is what it is,” he thought he heard a bit of triumph in her voice at having gotten his attention, “and it is something all warriors, yes, even those gifted in magicks are warriors of their own right, learn. You may claim to have learned it in the thousand years you are alive, Loki, but you have only truly begun to experience the effects of that lesson.”

“What, continuous fear?”

“No,” she said and Loki heard her shift in her seat next to his bedside. Unlike Sif who stood by the threshold connecting his chambers together, Lady Frigga always pulled a chair up to his bedside when he was sleeping and it was the few times he knew she had watched over him during the night. “The lesson learned is one is not to aim to conquer fear, but rather to master it. To let it pass before their being until it becomes them.”

“To use?”

“Some have used it-”

“Megalomaniacs, people with nothing to lose, like myself-”

“Your father used it,” Frigga stated simply and quietly and Loki knew she was talking about Odin.

“He is _not_ my father-”

“He is your father more than Laufey,” she cut him off, her soft voice hardening ever so, “and even if he did steal you from the temple on Jotunheim, he _loves_ you.”

“I do not-”

“Odin used fear,” she cut him off once more, her voice returning to its smooth quiet tone. It was the same tone she used whenever she read bedtime stories to him and Thor in their younger years. “He still uses it to this day. And not in ways you would imagine. Not as a tool of conquering, but as a tool of learning. He learns from the fear he has and uses it to further himself. His fear for you was exactly how he had saw and foresaw. And so he used that lesson learned when you returned.”

“By the lack of punishment? By letting me _think_ Thanos wanted me?” Loki muffled half of his voice into his pillows. “Thanos still wants me-”

“And he will not have you, my son,” Frigga cut him off, her voice hardening once more before she sighed and he heard the creak of her chair as she shifted in it, “not while your father and I are here. Not while your brother-”

“Thor is _not_ my brother-”

“-not while anyone who cares for you can prevent Thanos from having you,” his mother overrode his protest with ease and Loki gritted his teeth together.

“Then you shall find that list quite short,” he muttered.

“And you shall find it quite longer than you think it may be,” his mother countered.

Loki frowned into his pillow and stared at it for a long moment before speaking quietly, “Why are you telling me this? Do you truly thing I am foolish enough to believe there will be those who jump at my beck and call? No. They betrayed me and they chose their side. The ones you claim on that so-called list are loyal to Thor and do not care for a _Frost Giant_ , an abomination who lives as a Prince amongst them.”

“Do you truly think that is what you are? An abomination? A monster?” his mother asked, the tremor of hurt in her voice making Loki grimace, but he forced himself to continue.

“I do not _care_ ,” he was disgusted that he had to say these words, but Frigga would never understand and would continue to hound him. He did not want her love, yet at the same time, he felt so afraid to reject it. “I am not so weak as to care what they think. I am beyond their thoughts and their opinions. If to their eyes I am a monster than so be it. Their scorn does not affect me. In fact, I embrace the challenge of it. Because I know that I will rise above them. I am not the one to master fear; they are the one who have to master it. They scorn and fear me because they are ignorant and only know thus. I have already mastered it and will use it against them.” _I will prove to them that I am to be feared_ , he thought, but did not voice it to Frigga.

“Then use it to teach them what they do not understand. Prove to them the ignorance that they have, the fear they have for the unknown is not to be feared, but to be embraced-”

He laughed bitterly into his pillow and turned over to face the Queen, “Why should I? You cannot change thousands of years of ignorance and of pervasive fear. The Frost Giants-”

“Odin changed,” even illuminated by the dim lights coming from the other chamber, Frigga's frown was still beautiful against her sharp features. He had always thought that she had soft features, but it seemed that they had turned sharp and angular, a little _wrong_ in his opinion, but he did not think much of it. Loki remembered that when he was very young he had once asked if all Valkyries looked like her and she had only laughed. “Odin conquered his fear and adopted you.”

“Only to have some use of me in the future-”

“Do you fear being used?”

“Yes!” Loki pushed himself up a little and waved for the lamps to be lit with a splash of magic, “No! I do not want to be used.”

“And why not?” his mother asked.

He stared at her with incredulous eyes, sleep utterly driven from him, “W-Why? That is...that is the most ridiculous-”

“It is a valid question, Loki,” his mother looked at him with a simple gaze, “because the fear of being used will lead to being used.”

“And I suppose you know about this,” he meant it as a jab, but was surprised when she nodded.

“Surely your tutors and late night studies in the great library told of Asgardian history, am I correct?”

“Yes...” he rearranged the blankets around his lap to at least keep himself somewhat warm as he faced Frigga. “The Asgard are composed of both the Aesir and Vanir, sister races. The Aesir known for their warrior prowess and the Vanir for their magical talents.”

“Most of our healers are Vanir, generations of magick bred strong and most of the Aesir are warriors, but there are a few magic-users amongst the Aesir, though they tend to keep to themselves.”

“If this is to make me feel better, it's a poor attempt,” he interjected dryly and received an arched look from her.

“Hush, my son,” she chided him and even though he was at least a thousand years old, he felt instantly like a child with that tone of voice from her, “as I was saying, even though we were sister races, we are still separated by the Bifrost. Alliances were needed between families and one such statement was made when Odin's father ruled.”

“No don't say it because it is a lie-”

“Are you so afraid of the truth?” she stared at him and he looked away, unable to meet her sharp blue gaze. But he distinctly remembered that her eyes were a grey-blue...

“You are saying this because I am-”

“Loki, the library has the history of the realms. Every single realm, every single recorded history. You are more than welcomed to peruse it as it is your right as a Prince of the House of Odin. Before I married your father, I was Freya, Crown Princess of the ruling house. I did not want to marry to a boorish man whom was only known for his prowess with the blade.”

“Then why...”

“Like I had said before, alliances needed to be made and so I changed my name when your father became King. He took the mantle of Allfather, embracing all there was and to be and I took my name because it was for a time of change. It was to show the others that fear of magicks, fear of what was unknown need not paralyze them and they need not scorn it.”

“Good job with it,” Loki groused.

Frigga's lips twitched in a tired smile, something that seemed foreign on her, “It is still a work in progress, like all things.”

“So what does this have to be with being used?” he asked, hoping that she had lost her point when she had told him of this little story – an absurd tale in his mind.

“Odin uses me to further his goals and I use him to further my goals. Surely you have already witnessed that?”

Loki shook his head, “No...”

“Why do you think your father gave me the domestic Court to run? He could easily dispense with the day-to-day running of Asgard and her people, yet he wishes that the Court know their Queen. Loki, the fear of being used and the fear itself is something not to conquer but to accept it for what it is.”

“I do accept it!” he said forcefully, “I accept it and-” He stopped as he shook his head, “Why did you tell me this? Why are you-”

He sensed it then, the pervading _wrongness_ of this...this dream? Reality? Waking dream? And cast his magic out, tugging, pulling at the threads of the weave as he stared at Frigga, only to see that there was something inherently _wrong_ with what she was, a mimicry of who she was. “No...” he whispered, as he backed away from her, twisting against the sheets that suddenly held him fast. He looked around him as he could see the weaves, the pull-

Loki twitched and half fell out of his bed with a start as he gasped, his eyes blinking in the darkness of his chambers. For a few seconds, he thought he was still caught in the dream world as he looked at his surroundings, the familiar blankets, threads, and the softness of the pillow he had been sleeping on, propped up when he had talked to... _Frigga_ in his dream. No, not Frigga. That was not Frigga...

“Bad dream?” Sif's voice was a Norn-send as Loki pulled himself together and took a deep breath, finding his center of calm and was dismayed to feel that his heart was racing.

He did not answer as he pulled himself back onto his bed and sat up, letting the blankets pool onto his lap. He stared at them for a second before roughly pushing them away, the sudden image of them constricting him, holding him in place frightening him. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that the chair Frigga had sometimes occupied and _had_ occupied in his dream-nightmare had been pulled up next to his bed. It was so easy to imagine her sitting there, saying the things that had sounded so right in that nightmare, yet now reflecting back on the vestigial remnants of his dream was somehow very wrong.

He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was unlike his time in the void, the nothingness that he had experienced for...he did not know how long as time had no meaning there. But he supposed it was because he peeked into the shadows earlier that day, to search for the spell and looking back on that...why he had deluded himself into thinking that his sleep would be uninterrupted after being spotted by Thanos.

“Loki?” he made a noise in the back of his throat at Sif's concern and glared at her through the darkness.

“Shut up,” he growled out, “just...shut up.”

He thought he heard her take a step back, but could not be too sure in the darkness and waved his hand absently, flooding the room with lights. He squinted for a second as he realized he had brought them up too fast and saw Sif do the same before blinking quickly to allow her sight to adjust. All of them had gone through training to adjust to light and situations quickly and Sif's reaction was normal, which Loki took as a sign that he still was not dreaming.

“Do you still hate me?” he asked, not staring at her and instead, obtusely checked his room, spelling it discreetly for any sign of weaving or anything that would indicate it was a dreamscape.

“What kind of question-”

“Just answer it,” so far Sif was acting true to herself, but Loki needed to know.

“I...uh...”

“It's a simple enough of a question,” he asked, irritated by her hesitation.

“Yes! Yes I do! You are nothing more than a self bastard who hurts good people for fun. You play pranks and tricks upon others with no thought of the consequence and yet you are not even punished for your actions! Why do you ask me this? You know of it as well as I!”

Loki held up a hand to silence her and to her credit, she immediately did so without having to resort to a spell, as he got up and quickly put on a robe, wrapping it tightly around him to stop the sudden chill of relief that he was truly back in the real world instead of the horrid dreamscape. Still...

“Where are you going-”

“I need to see the Queen. The Allfather must return at once,” Loki said as he brushed past her and headed out of his chambers. Sif's sharp footsteps echoed behind him as he headed down the halls.

“Why? Did you foresee something? Is that what you dreamed Loki? Loki?”

“Yes...” he said quietly. _I foresaw my doom_ , he thought. For all that dream about fears and letting it become who he was, Loki could not help but feel deathly afraid. If that was just a sample of what Thanos could conjure for him. He shuddered, pulling the edges of his robe closer to him; he wanted the Allfather back... _Thanos will not have what he wants, Odin promised that_.

* * *

But as soon as Queen Frigga asked how they would get Odin back, Loki realized that he would have to think of something, any excuse for the Allfather to return instead of overseeing the battle on Jotunheim. At least he was not a liesmith for nothing. He would be able to figure out something to bring the Allfather back-

“I cannot send you there,” Heimdall's deep voice pulled Loki from his thoughts as he blinked and stared at the Guardian. For a second, he was unable to comprehend his words.

“What?”

“I cannot send you there,” Heimdall repeated, staring at him with his golden eyes, “I cannot open the Bifrost when Jotunheim is in such disarray.”

“But the Allfather-”

“The risks are too high and the Allfather understood that when he gave me this position,” Heimdall reminded him and even though his voice was its usual monotone, Loki sensed a hint of superiority there, directed solely at him. As if to remind him what he already knew. “I will not open the Bifrost onto an open battlefield where _I cannot see the enemy_.”

Loki pursed his lips together as he met the golden-eyed gaze. What Heimdall meant was that he would not open the Bifrost anywhere on the planet until he could see that there were no enemies around. “But if you cannot see, then you cannot fulfill your duty as gatekeeper, could you?” he asked acidly, “and you cannot see this new enemy so you do not know whether or not there _are_ enemies around.”

“Nonetheless, I cannot open the Bifrost,” Heimdall did not seem perturbed by his accusations.

“Fine then,” he huffed before forcing himself to stop the sudden urge to flee at his own words, “I will find the Allfather on Jotunheim.”

“But how?” Frigga asked.

“The shadows,” he forced himself to smile at her, affecting a completely nonchalant tone even though he could feel the real pervading fear within him. He did not _want_ to step into the shadows, into the void and spaces between Yggdrasil's roots, but Heimdall's refusal to open the Bifrost left him with no choice.

“But we saw-”

“Insignificant,” he waved away Sif's sudden suspiciousness, “there are many other paths than the one you saw me conjure up.” That, was a very big lie, and he was mildly impressed with his own ability to wave it off so easily in light of the minute trembling he felt in the muscles of his hands. “It would be easy to escape notice when there is none to be had.”

“The shadows are a dangerous path Loki,” Frigga absently nodded and he found that he was unable to meet her eyes, the nightmare still fresh in his mind even though it had been hours since he had his audience with her to convince her that the Allfather needed to return. But it was she who knew him the best, always accepting of his talents since childhood, the only one unafraid of the magicks he wielded. How much of the words he had heard in his Thanos-influenced nightmare was true? How much of it was falsehoods and wishful thinking on his part? He dared not ask...not now...

“There are dangers all around us,” he replied before squaring his shoulders, the plates of his armor clinking together at his movement. He was prepared to open another path, to confront the darkness and shadows even though he did not want to.

“Wait, Loki, I am coming with you-”

“I cannot take another person-”

“Yes you can, you've done it before,” Sif frowned at him, “and I was ordered by the Allfather to never let you out of my sight. When you arrive, you will arrive on a battlefield.”

“So?” he really did not want to take another person along. It was not that he did not care about Sif's orders, he certainly did not, but rather, he did not want her along as a burden. Sif could hold herself against the enemy very well, but against _the_ enemy? In the chance that he was spotted...no...Sif would become a liability then. And Loki did not want to be responsible for that. For one thing, it would be utterly annoying and for another Thor would never let him hear the end of it.

“The Chitauri-”

“I controlled them and certainly know their weakness, Sif,” he shook his head at her, “come now, you must do better than that.”

“Then what of the Jotuns?”

“What of them?”

“You are Jotunkiller to them. Anathema,” Sif looked a little uncomfortable, but Loki had to give her credit for her resolve, especially in light of her words to him in the library days ago.

“Fitting name,” he certainly did not know what to feel with that sort of epithet thrown upon him. And it seemed that the Allfather did not care to tell the Jotuns that he was one of them. It seemed the same way with the Court as with the guards. From his days in Court, all he had heard were murmurs of his actions – of how he had set the Bifrost upon the Jotuns, even if it was deserved, it seemed that the Court followed Thor and Odin's opinion that the destruction of the monsters was to be frowned upon. And it seemed that his return after his failed attempt to conquer Thor's beloved mortals was also frowned upon.

The mortals' sheep had a more varied opinion than Court did. Thor was still the beloved Crown Prince and he, the shadow to the sun. Things had not changed and the Allfather's lack of punishment must have inflamed those perspectives.

“There is a tentative truce with King Helblindi on the account that you had died,” it was Frigga's turn to look uncomfortable.

“And since I am here, they would not look too kindly upon my sudden arrival, would they?” he muttered before shaking his head, “then perhaps they would not mind a dead man to walk amongst them. A figment of their imagination and blame it upon two and half days worth of fighting amongst the Chitauri.”

“Loki!” Frigga frowned, “do not jest about such things!”

He shrugged in return, but did as she had asked. He could not be bothered with nonsensical things at the moment, not with the pressing urgency of actually having the Allfather nearby. It was not fear that drove him, but rather the feeling that had been growing since the Allfather went to Jotunheim. It seemed that the Allfather's presence repelled Thanos' boldness; otherwise, he knew that he would not have been spotted trying to find the spell to sense the Chitauri under their illusion.

Yet at the same time he did not understand why the Allfather had left to deal with the situation on Jotunheim. There was the excuse of a tentative peace treaty, but Loki figured the Allfather would have given command of the battle to General Tyr or even one of the Warriors like Faendral. Surely Odin must have known that all these battles were distractions, skirmishes designed to weaken Asgard's defenses, to leave them vulnerable to whatever attack Thanos would launch at them. The Allfather had even practically hinted that he knew it to be a distraction...so why would he personally go to Jotunheim.

There was nothing there...nothing worth-

“Nonetheless, he must be brought back. I will cloak myself-”

“And me,” Sif interjected and Loki sighed.

“And Sif,” he grudgingly acknowledged her tagging along with him. At the very most, she would be able to provide some distraction if not excuse if they were discovered by the Jotuns on the battlefield. At the very least, she would be so terrified of traveling through the darkness that she will not pester him about it next time, orders or not. “And ask the Allfather to return.”

“You would take him within the shadows?!” Heimdall sounded mildly horrified, and Loki rolled his eyes at the Guardian. To think that after all was said and done, Heimdall would have welcomed an opportunity for someone to learn about the shadowy paths, especially one like the Allfather. The Asgardians were so rooted in their ways it was utterly laughable and embarrassing in Loki's opinion.

“No,” he replied, “I would show the Allfather the cloaking spell so he would be able to undo whatever has been done. _Then_ you can open the Bifrost and return us to Asgard.” _Where he rightfully belongs...keeping his promise._

Before any other protest came from Frigga or Heimdall, Loki lifted his hands up and pulled at the skeins of the Observatory and Bifrost to peer into the shadows and void once more, drawing apart the fabrics of time and space itself. When he had first learned the spell, he had spent so much time staring at the threads that wove through the Bifrost itself and at Yggdrasil's power that he had not realized at least two days had passed on Asgard until Thor had barged into his room to see if he had starved himself or had been kidnapped. That extra moment of commotion had allowed Loki to hide his new knowledge, forbidden knowledge as he had obtusely asked the Allfather afterwards, but a fascinating and dangerous knowledge indeed.

_Thedarkwhydoesitsitinsilencewhycanitnotscream_

Loki took a step back before holding out his hand to Sif, noting out of the corner of his eye the fascinated yet horrified looks on the others' faces. Even Heimdall looked surprise, his golden eyes widening minutely. He had to admit, even though he had long been used to walking in the shadows of the void, it was a fascinating contrast to the golden splendor of the Observatory. A ripple and aberration that by all rights should not exist, it looked like something out of nightmares. Tangled skeins and sinews of magic crackled with unchecked tendrils that seeming wanted to latch on and grow like parasites against everything and anything that was living.

“Sif,” he called and felt her put her hand in his. Her long thin fingers, calloused with use of weapons, similar to his own though his calluses were different due to the weapons he used, trembled. Her brown eyes were wide with fear, her mouth a thin line as she tried to gather up her courage.

“It's better, if you close your eyes,” he felt a little bit of sympathy towards her, after all, he could not blame her for the fascinating fear and horror she was currently experiencing. It was his exact reaction when he discovered the spellwork and skeins.

“N-No...there...there will be enemies when we exit,” she shook her head and Loki smiled a little. He had to give Sif credit for her bravery, even though it was a little foolish.

_ScreamformepleasescreamformejustalittletinyscreamisallIask_

Loki gathered himself and pulled on the roots of Yggdrasil, seeing the distant blue-white of Jotunheim growing closer and closer, taking one step through-

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Ravens are huge-assed birds. Never realized how big they were until I visited the Tower of London. Even though those ravens are well-fed and pampered little birds, they are also extremely clever and love to scare the tourists. I know I got freaked out when one landed next to me and stared up at me. Huugin and Muugen’s characterizations are based off of the ravens of the Tower of London – may they rule the roost forever.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

Chapter 7

 

_HeisherenowhyheisheherenonononononoThanosnononono_

-and with a jerk suddenly found the gold of the Observatory replaced by the blues and whites of Jotunheim. Loki suddenly flicked his hand out, sending a wave of daggers that felled two Chitauri that had charged at him. Beside him he felt Sif's hand tighten in his, squeezing it so tightly that it actually hurt. She suddenly pulled at his arm and he heard her vomit into the snow before she finally let go and he was able to sweep several daggers both his arms as he stepped in front of her, his eyes immediately taking in the battlefield they had walked into.

“Sif!” he shouted as the screams and cries of Jotuns, Asgardians, and Chitauri rang across the battlefield and held up his forearm as several bolts of energy pounded off of the shield he had conjured up. “Sif! Get up!”

“I-I'm here...” she croaked before he heard her activate her double-bladed swords with a _snick_. He raised his forearm once again, blocking several blasts to him and Sif before sparing a quick look behind her to see her stumble to her feet and immediately slashed open a Chitauri that was trying to ambush them from behind.

_Whyareyouherewhydoyoupersistinthepainandfutilityofnofuture_

Loki spared another look to see that she was occupying the swarming forces and reached out to seal the void, banishing the shadows and sucked in a quick cold breath of relief at the silence of...voices...was the only word he could think of, that always came whenever he opened a portal to the shadows of Yggdrasil.

However, his split second of peace was not to last as he heard a low growl that turned into a growling war cry. Loki turned, his hands holding conjured daggers, ready to strike when he realized that it was a Jotun warrior that was charging at them, flinging Chitauri this way and that-

“Did you not hear the order to retreat?!” the Jotun's guttural shout nearly made Loki throw his daggers towards the blue monster when he realized it was addressing them. His senses suddenly prickled and Loki ducked under a bolt before tossing his dagger into the heart of the Chitauri that had tried to shoot him before launching his other one, halving the power of his magicks as it split into two. They embedded themselves into the naval and head of another one.

“Which way?!” Sif shuffled close to him, slashing with a grunt at one who tried to approach them. She still looked extremely pale and nauseous, but Loki could not do anything about that at the moment. He could not even spare a single drop of his magic to at least take the edge off of the nausea.

“To the fortress!” the Jotun joined them, the cold hiss of his ice-bound sword forming in his right hand. Loki did not have time to ponder the strange turn of events as he too faced the Chitauri, the three of them nearly back to back with the Chitauri advancing upon them in a circle.

They were surrounded.

Loki looked around, assessing the situation and instantly came up with his plan. “Sif, keep them off of me,” he released his daggers and instead, curled his hands together, almost forming a sphere with them as he summoned a spell.

“Got it,” was her immediate answer and Loki smiled grimly. Trust Sif to understand exactly what needed to be done. Even though the Warriors Three and Sif denounced his use of magic and trickery on occasion, the blademasters that they had trained under had sought to at least make them aware of his abilities in conjunction with their physical prowess. That was not to say he was not also trained in the glaive and daggers, but he had also long suspected it was under the Allfather's orders that they figure out tactics using his magic.

“What is the battlemage-”

“Keep them off of him,” Sif’s voice was hard as the Chitauri roared and charged at them and Loki felt the cool wind blow against his back as both the Jotun and Sif leapt forward to create a perimeter, giving him time to at least charge up his spell.

He looked up once more, his hands shaking a little from the power he pored into the spell, its energy seeking an escape route and quickly calculated the radius he would need to unleash. A sudden cry from Sif made him dart his eyes to see her stumble, taking a bolt into the shoulder before she retaliated with a swift kick to the Chitauri that shot her and cleaved him in half. He reached out into the skeins of the magic he wove and felt it hovering at the ready-

“Sif get down!” he shouted and unleashed the spell. A wave of fire spread from his outstretched hands as he felt the heat of it warm him briefly before the cold, winter blizzard of Jotunheim returned. He forced the spell outward, forming a giant circle of molten fire around him. He saw Sif pull the Jotun down with her as the two barely got out of the way, flattening themselves onto the ground as the spell grazed the tops of their heads. Loki channeled his power into the spell to go faster and saw it hit the Chitauri surrounding them, roasting them alive as their animal-metallic screams filled the air-

“Let's go!” Sif pushed herself to her feet as Loki quickly followed after her, grabbing the Jotun that had helped them by the arm and pulled him along, racing with the edges of the fire circle spell as it continued to push outward, scorching everything in its path.

His feet sloshed into the once frozen tundra of ice, some of it melted by the molten heat as the screams of the dying echoed around them. Loki blinked his eyes rapidly against the rising clouds of steam and stumbled a bit as he felt a little dizzy, but managed to regain his footing at the same time the Jotun also regained its footing and inadvertently pulled him along. That had been one of his most powerful spells that he knew as he saw the edges of the fire circle die away. And combined with his recent travel through the shadows and void...

There was a very good reason why all magic-users used glaives, staffs, or some kind of artifact to channel their magic. Outright spellcasting always drained their energy quickly, both physical and mental. A focusing object or focuser, whether it be a physical weapon or something they would be able to fine-tune and control the amount of magicks released, was able to manage the inevitable exhaustion, but do it so that it would not arrive so quickly. But there had been no time and Loki had only thought that they would be fighting one or two Chitauri, not a whole host before magicking himself to find the Allfather.

It had also been one of the reasons why he had not brought his glaive to Jotunheim when he, Thor, and the Warriors had arrived the first time – he had genuinely thought the guard would get the Allfather and they would be stopped before they even got to the damned realm of monsters.

He hurled over several burnt bodies of Chitauri who had been caught in the spell, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the _smell_ of burnt flesh and mechanical circuitry. Beside him, the Jotun grunted in what he thought was perhaps its equivalent of gagging before a soft splooshing sound told him that the Jotun had probably thrown up. _So weak_ , he thought; as if the monster had not seen any burnt bodies before.

“We're almost there!” Sif shouted before turning around and Loki saw her eyes widen a bit and he quickly turned his head, his senses prickling, but there was no sign of any enemy.

“What!” he shouted back before he realized that Sif was staring at him and Loki was about to open his mouth to make a nasty retort when he noticed the sharp red eyes of the Jotun also staring at him. More importantly, staring at his arm and Loki quickly glanced down as they ran to see that he had been still holding the Jotun's own arm...and it had turned _Jotun blue_.

Loki's breath stuttered a bit as he quickly released his grip on the Jotun's arm, his steps faltering a little- _monster_ -

“Sif, what are you doing-” Faendral's familiar voice made Loki look up to see the blond-haired warrior approaching them, his armor bloodied and covered with a bit of what looked like Chitauri guts, but otherwise, hale and healthy. He saw Faendral's eyes widen as his steps also slowed down. Loki's lips curled in disgust as he realized he had probably reverted to his Jotun monstrous form and that Faendral had not truly believed he was one of them until now-

“See something you don't like?!” he snarled at the duelist, marching past the Jotun as they stopped by the edges of what seemed like the safety line of the fortress. The noise of the fading Chitauri behind them told him that they dared not approach the edges of the fortress. However, it did not stop one of them from firing at them and Loki casually blocked the bolt with an absent wave of his hand, redirecting it back to the Chitauri that fired it. The creature died with an abrupt scream as Loki lowered his hand, noting that the blue was starting to fade back to the pink hues he was so familiar with.

“Where's the Allfather,” he asked in a clipped tone, stopping in front of Faendral.

“But why are you here-”

“Where, is the Allfather? Loki asked again, his annoyance growing as the magic curled at the edges of his fingertips. As much as he wanted to turn Faendral into a bligesnipe for not answering his question quickly, he knew it was a better alternative than to talk to Thor. An extraneous thought made him shake his head inwardly. It was a pity Hilde was already dead; otherwise he would have killed one of the the twins for putting the idea of bligesnipes in his head for the past few days. He was only glad that Thor was not anywhere nearby-

“Sif?!”

Loki barely repressed an audible groan at Thor's boisterous voice before he saw the familiar set of blond-hair, red cape, and silvery-blue armor approach them, shouldering aside a few Aesir warriors and several Jotuns. “Lo-” Thor was cut off abruptly as several Jotuns rushed past him.

“My King! King Helblindi!”

Loki froze as did Sif and the two of them turned to face the Jotun that had recklessly come to warn them to get back to the fortress. He was dressed like most Jotuns milling about; cloths that seemed to have deemed him a simple soldier instead of adornments that usually marked a King. Even Laufey was dressed in what passed for finery amongst Jotuns, a lot more elaborate than those under his command. This...this simple, tall, monstrousblue Jotun was the ruling King?!

“Still dressed like primitives,” he muttered and saw the Jotun shoot him a dark look, but was unable to say anything as the other Jotuns surrounded him, pestering him with questions about recklessness, irresponsibility, running out to the battlefield when they were clearly in retreat, anything and everything that a King should not do... Loki had the sudden urge to laugh at the sheer amount of worry and concern towards what clearly was Helblindi's advisors. They were treating him as if he was just a mere child!

“Loki what are you doing-” Thor's heavy arm landed on Loki's shoulder and he glared at the Thunder God.

“Get your hand off of me or so help me I _will_ stab you,” he growled out and to his credit and surprise, Thor did as he asked. But a second later, Loki realized it was only because the Allfather had arrived behind Thor, looking grim as ever. He was surprised that the Allfather was walking amongst the battlefield, having thought that he would have ridden around on Slepinir, towering over everyone.

The Allfather turned his gaze upon him and Loki met the frown with a raised chin of his own, daring Odin to hand down another punishment, a true one instead of the one that he claimed he did not deserve. But the moment was broken when the Allfather moved past him; Gungir gripped in his hand and approached the small crowd of Jotuns.

“King Helblindi, I thank you for rescuing these two warriors from the battlefield,” the Allfather said and the Jotuns parted a little to let their King approach Odin.

Helblindi grinned, a smile that was a bit predatory, but Loki supposed for monsters that was their version of a smile. Or not, as he saw Faendral and Thor tighten their grips on the weapons. He smiled inwardly at the faint sense of hostility. So things were not as they seemed...

“We shall need their skills in the next wave. I dare say that this battlemage,” Helblindi shot a look at him and Loki frowned, “displayed a most useful and interesting spell I have not seen before. Not even for any of the battlemages you have placed upon this battlefield.”

“His spells are uniquely his own,” the Allfather replied and Loki's frown grew deeper. He could literally hear a second conversation beside the one the Allfather and King Helblindi had engaged in, but did not understand the doublespeak – and it annoyed him greatly.

“Though I do wonder why these two had arrived when there was not a sign of the Bifrost. I had not seen them in the two days of fighting,” the King asked and Loki felt his hackles rise, his fingers curling around a spell, ready to throw it at the sudden interest and almost-but-not-quite hostility that was there in the King's voice.

Odin must have sensed the same thing as he suddenly, but discreetly stepped in front of Loki, shielding him from Helblindi's intense red-eyed look.

“I am sure I would be able to find out the reason-”

“Perhaps they are spies, Allfather,” Helblindi started quietly and the tension that had been growing amongst the small group, both Jotuns and Warriors alike rose, “after all Loki Jotunkiller was supposed to have been punished by death.”

Everyone within the group froze and Loki felt all eyes on him. However, he kept his mouth shut even though he wanted to make an acid remark at the epithet he had received from the Jotuns. This was the Allfather's fight and he at least remembered that diplomatic solutions, especially with the Jotuns, were delicate at best. The best thing that could happen was that nothing happened, the worst, civil war and an instant bloodbath amongst the two groups. Loki knew if that scenario happened, he would not get the chance to bring the Allfather back to Asgard.

He could sense the crackling hair-raising static power that was starting to grow from Mjolnir and flicked a quick look at Thor. The oaf never thought of the consequences before completing an idiotic action. However, before he could do anything he caught the Allfather's fingers lifting a little in a clear warning to Thor before the static buildup in Mjolnir died down.

“He has been paying for his crimes,” the Allfather said quietly and Loki bristled at the comment. If the Allfather meant by waiting for the moment of Thanos to snatch him up then certainly, but really, lounging around for the past fourteen days, doing so much as working on magical experiments and holding Court with the Allfather. Sure...that was certainly punishment enough.

“I am sure the physical part has yet to come,” Helblindi replied dryly and Loki bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from retorting. The Allfather's comments had been bad, but Helblindi's reply was even worst. How dare he-

“Thor,” Loki had not realized that the static buildup had risen once more, but instead of just a slow buildup, it crackled with barely contained electricity. The Allfather's command had immediately quelled Mjolnir's power as Loki felt it retreat once more and the Allfather turned back to face the Jotun king. Loki resisted the urge to kick Thor in the shins behind him. He did not need his protection, even against this slight of his honor or whatever it was as Thor would have said. He would fight his own battles.

“You are not the only ones my wayward son has wronged, Helblindi,” Odin stared at the Jotun with a hard eye, “if you demand recompense, I am sure we can discuss it after the Chitauri have been pushed from your realm.”

“Your...son...” Helblindi seemed to drag out the last word and Loki thinned his lips as the Jotun stared at him again, “has a rather unique magicks that has not been seen on this realm for a very long time.”

“To which is why I said his magicks are his own,” the Allfather tilted his head a little and Loki realized he too was wondering what the Jotun king was getting at. Loki knew that Helblindi had seen his skin, if not his whole body transform into the familiar tones of Jotun blue, red eyes, and tribal markings that he suspected probably marked him as Laufey's son, but had yet to say anything about it. In fact, he seemed to be hedging his words and talking around it.

But what seemed to be far more intriguing to Loki was that Helblindi had said his magic had not been seen on Jotunheim for a long time. Did that mean that there were no Jotun magic-users? But surely that was wishful thinking as he had seen every single Jotun summon ice-swords as easily as he conjured his illusions.

Helblindi seemed to come to a decision as he suddenly nodded, but the wolfish smile that appeared on his face was anything but, “I shall accept your offer, Allfather. We shall discuss what the Jotunkiller shall pay after this battle has been won. I dare say his unique magicks would be of use to us...”

Loki did not like the sound of that, but the Allfather nodded, “We shall see.” Helblindi nodded once as he turned to talk to his advisors who had crowded around him once more and Loki caught more than one trying to chastise him or at least convince the Jotun king to reconsider his agreement with the Allfather about the “Jotunkiller's” parole and to deal with him right then and there. However, before he could further eavesdrop on the conversation, the Allfather turned to him and Loki saw the sudden weariness and stern expression on his face.

“Explain yourself,” was all Odin said and Loki shrugged.

“Heimdall cannot see the enemy,” he said and Sif twitched near him, appalled at his apparent misdirection and placement of blame on Heimdall.

But it seemed Odin had taken his words another way and frowned, “How so?”

“When he turned his gaze upon Jotunheim, he can only see the scuffle of the snowdrifts, cracks upon the ice. When he turned his gaze upon the other battlefields, he only saw flattening of grassy plains and the like,” Loki explained, “I spelled the shadows and discovered that only a day since your departure, the Chitauri attacking the realms are all but invisible to Heimdall's eyes. He claims he cannot open the Bifrost or send more troops without dispelling whatever shadows his eyes from the realms.”

“Surely there is a counter spell-”

“How is it that they are able to arrive here then if they are shadowed?”

Odin held up his gloved hand to stop Faendral and Thor from speaking. “You spelled the shadows?”

“I did, and crossed it to get here,” he replied, meeting Odin's lone eye squarely.

He saw the Allfather stare at him for a moment before shaking his head and walked away, “You are more foolish than I thought.”

Loki could only stare at the Allfather's retreating back for a second before a surge of anger and self-righteous indignation rose up within him. How dare he- “And only a fool would walk away! It was the only way!” he shouted after the Allfather, stomping across the powdery snow, demanding that the Allfather explain himself.

However, Odin was having none of it as he suddenly spun and pinned Loki mid-step with a glare of his own, “It is _not_ the only way! You are a foolish boy who knows nothing and should have known better!”

“Known what?!” Loki shouted back, not caring that almost everyone within the vicinity, even the Jotuns had paused to listen to them, “That you would knowingly endanger the realms just because the Chitauri attacked this wasteland?!”

“No, it is you, _you, Loki_ who have done so! This is exactly what _he_ wants and you are giving him the means to do so!”

“I have not-”

“Do you not understand?!” the Allfather thundered at him, “You were _safe_ on Asgard. You were safe until you decided to foolishly peer into the shadows.”

“Safe?! Safe?! You call that safe?! Being coddled around and treated as if _nothing_ had happened?! That is not safe, Odin Allfather, that is a sentence if there ever was one-” He shook his head as he cut himself off before continuing, “If _he_ was able to shield the Chitauri from Heimdall, he is able to get _into_ Asgard! What is to stop him from sending the Chitauri to Asgard, huh?!”

The Allfather stared at him, his lips curling in anger, “It seems that I had under estimated you, Loki. I would have thought you wiser than this, wiser and perhaps fearful enough-”

“I am _not_ afraid!”

“You should be!” Odin roared, “Because it is _your_ foolishness that has caused this!” He gestured to the battlefield behind Loki.

“The Bifrost-”

“All of this,” Odin hissed, taking a step back to him, “all of this was meant to draw you out.”

Loki froze as the true meaning of Odin's words hit him and felt the blood drain out of his face. Oh Norns...he thought as he realized the true gravity of the situation; of everything that had happened since he had returned from Midgard in chains. He had made such a grave error, had allowed his indignation, rage, fury to cloud himself from realizing the truth of things. And he had been such a fool... He shook his head as he tried to come to terms with it as the soft crunch of Odin's footsteps drew closer and Loki looked up into the single lone eye.

He opened his mouth to ask what he should do before he realized that Odin _could_ have told him before he left. The sudden fury at being left in the dark much like he had been left in the dark about _Thanos_ before Odin had left for Jotunheim washed over him and he frowned, “I should have known.”

“Yes, you should have,” was Odin's reply and Loki waited for the Allfather to elaborate, but when none came he knitted his brows in anger.

He shook his head. Fine, if Odin wanted to play at that game, obtuse answers, and hidden agendas, then he would _not_ play it. At least not play it by what seemed like the Allfather's rules. If the Allfather expected him to be humbled by the knowledge, then he was wrong. All it did was inflamed his anger and annoyance at everything and Loki was determined to get himself out of this mess.

“Care to add anything else?” he growled out.

He saw the Allfather frown at his words, as if he could not believe what conclusion he had come up with. But the Allfather did not get a chance to answer as Helblindi stomped over to them, his red eyes holding a mildly interested look. “Problems, Allfather?”

“I will need to send Lord Faendral and Lady Sif back to Asgard to ready for a potential invasion by the Chitauri,” Odin replied, “but the two Princes will stay here to help drive the invasion back.”

“Asgard is under attack?”

“No, but Loki has brought to my attention a more sinister aspect of the Chitauri's invasion of the realms,” the Allfather said as Thor and the others approached, having stayed back during their little spat.

“What aspect?” Thor asked.

“The enemy has gained the ability to cloak themselves and arrive without notice.”

“How?”

“Through the shadows of the void,” Loki answered Thor's question, staring at him squarely in the eye, daring him to blame him for that knowledge that he had given to Thanos.

“It is not Loki's fault-” Sif started before Loki shot her a withering look as the others stared at him with surprised looks.

“And how did the Chitauri learned this?” Thor would not be dissuaded.

Loki shrugged, “Planning my invasion of Midgard required different aspects that I was happy to share...”

“Brother...”

“We need not worry about Asgard under attack at the moment Allfather. I saw plans for Midgard's attack so it is safe to say that we still have time,” he did not miss Thor's flinch, “before Sif and I arrived, I was able to spell Asgard with the counter spell and not sensed any Chitauri.”

“You will have to teach the battlemages this-”

“But Midgard-”

“As you wish,” Loki nodded at the Allfather's command, ignoring Thor's protest about Midgard, before the Thunder God shook his head in a moment of impatience, wanting to be heard.

“Father, allow me to go to Midgard-”

“Your so-called 'Avengers' defeated the Chitauri once, they can do it again without your help, Thor,” Loki shook his head; Thor could be so selfish at times, especially about the mortals.

“Yes, but they will not be prepared-”

“I will allow it,” the Allfather said and Loki stared at him in surprise as did Helblindi.

“Allfather,” the King said carefully, “are you so readily abandoning our agreement now?”

“I am not, but as I have told you, Jotunheim is not the only realm under attack by the Chitauri,” Odin replied, his expression unreadable to Loki, but Helblindi must have saw something in it because he nodded as if satisfied. Loki supposed it was something along the lines of having the Allfather come to oversee the defense of this invasion personally instead of letting the Jotuns fend for themselves after the Bifrost wrought such devastation.

“But the mortals-”

“Are also being recompensed for my wayward son's mistakes,” Odin stared at him pointedly as did Helblindi, but Loki just let the stares and implied words pass through him. At the very least, the mortals did not need any form of compensation – they were too short-lived to truly remember events as they were and in a hundreds years or less he could perhaps appear on Midgard and they would either remember him as a hero or have forgotten about him.

“I see,” the Jotun king said quietly, “very well then. I shall leave you to your preparations.” He turned and left them, but Loki was left with a feeling he could not quite shake, yet at the same time could not put a finger on it.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I have a bilgesnipe obsession. There, I said it.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 8_

 

A magical flare of light flew from the distance about half-an-hour later, warning everyone that the Chitauri had amassed again and were attacking the fortress' defenses once more. Loki made a noise of irritation at the timing of the attack, having barely begun to explain to the battlemages that had arrived with the initial Asgardian forces what he had spelled to try to release whatever invisible barrier was keeping Heimdall from opening the Bifrost. Truth be told, he had even yet to figure out if the spell he had combined using the knowledge gleaned from his brief foray into Thanos' plans along with his own knowledge of cloaking himself in the shadows to be unseen by Heimdall's eyes, would even work against the barrier that surrounded the battlefield.

But he dared not tell the others – to not give them the opportunity to mock him like they had done so many times. All of Asgard's battlemages and healers were all Vanir trained, either born on Vanaheim or sent there after they displayed signs of magicks. Loki knew he was the only exception to that rule, having not been sent, but rather taught the way of the warrior like the rest of Asgard. He had nurtured his magical talents with a secret tutor whom no one, perhaps not even the Allfather or Heimdall for all of his omniscient vision knew about, and from his research in the libraries.

He had thought that the Allfather would have forbidden it the first time he showed the Court a sign of his talents, but instead the Allfather had all but ignored it, or at least pretended it had not happened. It had taken the Court a little longer to come to that conclusion, Thor and his friends even longer to accept it, but there had always been the whispers of his “unnatural” talent. When he had been younger, he had not understood what those words meant until he worked with several of the battlemages. Their spellcasting were a combination of words and of complex gestures and in a specific set of order. He had learned fast to copy those unnecessary gestures and words to fit in and not be excluded, but at the same time also knew that the others had looked on with jealousy at his apparent natural talent and ease of bending the magicks to his bidding.

Now, he wondered if his different way of spellcasting was due to the fact that he was a Frost Giant instead of an Aesir. King Helblindi seemed to indicate as much judging by his cryptic words. In any case, he had to admit that he felt a little relieved to be within the Allfather's presence instead of being back on the splendor of Asgard.

“Sire, we are needed-”

“I know!” Loki said, irritated at the Chitauri more than anything else. He was certainly annoyed that he had to show the battlemages how to remove the spell even after telling them _how_ it had been made, “the others can handle the Chitauri for a moment-”

“Loki, we need to get Faendral and Sif back to Asgard before the Chitauri overrun our forces again,” Thor jogged over; Mjolnir in hand, crackling with waves of electricity once more. “Can you open a portal into the void-”

“No!” he cut Thor off. What he was suggesting was pure madness. It had been a great effort on Loki's part to pull Sif along, expending the necessary magicks to shield her from the void's unseeing and relentless hunger even if she did not know it. To carry two along with himself...that would be tantamount to magical suicide and Loki had no inclination of dying at the moment. His stupid brother did not understand and Loki knew he would never understand even if he hit him over the head with his hammer.

The void was not meant to be a means of mass travel in between Yggdrasil's roots, that was what the Bifrost had been created for. It was just a way for Loki to pass unseen between the realms whenever he felt like it. There was also the chance that _he_ was watching now...having seen him twice since he had returned back to Asgard in chains. It would be so easy for _him_ to reach out, pluck him when he was at his most defenseless in the void- Loki shook his head, “I am not going back in there and certainly cannot take two more-”

“But the Chitauri-”

“Just shut up for a moment Thor!” he growled out, noting that the others around them shifted nervously. Whether it was from his words or the approaching Chitauri forces he did not know, and did not care, but Loki lifted a hand and _reached_ out to grasp the edges of the invisible barrier that had cloaked across the battlefield. He had sensed it the moment he had exited the void of Yggdrasil with Sif, but had not really acknowledged it as he had been occupied with not falling to mindless Chitauri that had immediately seen their arrival.

He felt a small grin form on the corner of his lips as he successfully grasped the feathered skeins of the barrier and _pushed_ at it, pouring the spell he had formed to scan for any anomalies on Asgard against it...and suddenly felt something _pop!_ as part of the barrier suddenly collapsed and Loki saw the barest shimmers in the air-

“Heimdall! We need to return to Asgard!” Sif certainly saw the same shimmer a few meters away from them as she looked up in the air.

But even as she shouted, Loki sensed the barrier reforming and gritted his teeth, forcing his fingers to continue to splay out in an effort to hold back the collapsing barrier. He could literally feel the magicks of the barrier fighting against his own, forcing his fingers slowly back together-

“Loki...”

“I'm trying!” he snarled at Thor's warning tone, squeezing his eyes shut as he concentrated. He knew that the others were all staring at the barrier, undulating and crackling across the dark midnight sky, but Loki could feel the slight tug of exhaustion, the beginnings of a headache as he fought against what was most certainly _his_ magic – and the sheer amount and strength astounded him – to keep it open long enough to send Sif and Faendral back-

The familiar screaming _woosh_ of the Bifrost activating and disappearing was music to Loki's ears as he let go of his hold on the barrier before it crackled and formed once more. He opened his eyes in time to see the disappearing contrail of the Bifrost retreating back up into the midnight sky of Jotunheim, having been successful enough to retrieve both Faendral and Sif.

That was when Loki realized his breath came in ragged gasps and he stumbled a little as he tried to steady himself. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and stared at the assembled battlemages. “Did you get all of that?” he asked as they stared at him wide-eyed and silent. They nodded and he said, “Good, because you will need to sustain it.”

Another horn sounded and they all turned towards it before the assembled battlemages decided to head to their defensive positions. “Sire, I will let the Allfather know of what transpired,” a voice spoke to his left and he turned to see Erikur, the healer that had been part of the Muspelheim scouting party, standing near him and Loki absently nodded, trying to blink the sudden exhaustion from his eyes. He heard the scuffling of boots that told him that Erikur was heading to wherever the Allfather was on the battlefield to relay the news. Odin would be able to coordinate the battlemages' efforts now that they knew what to do.

“Loki, Midgard-”

“Will have to wait,” Loki tried to force the venom into his voice at Thor's inconsiderate request, but he really did not feel it as he closed his eyes for a moment to just breathe. That had been a lot harder than he had thought...

“I know, brother-”

“I am _not_ your brother-”

“You are,” Thor replied and Loki could suddenly feel his brother's presence near him as he stepped closer and his eyes shot open in a warning glare that all but said, ' _touch me and you will get a knife in the ribs_ '. He saw Thor hesitate and smiled a little. There was hope yet to train Thor at least to stop his so-called 'brotherly' gestures of affection. They were not brothers. Period. And Thor should stop treating him like one.

“I was to suggest that you rest, _bro_ -Loki. If I had known it would be this hard to break whatever barrier was cast upon this battlefield then I would have returned to Asgard with Sif and Faendral and have Heimdall send me to Midgard from there-”

“A glorified transportation attendant,” Loki suddenly laughed a little at the image in his mind. It certainly fit Heimdall's description. Too bad the barrier was up once more so that Heimdall could not hear his words. He would certainly needle the gatekeeper when he returned to Asgard after all of this was done.

“Loki...that is not nice,” Thor frowned and Loki rolled his eyes.

“It is the truth,” he waved away Thor's concern.

“Heimdall is a respected-”

“Save me the lecture of who he is, Thor,” Loki pitted him with a look, “he attacked me and should have been punished for his treason.”

“You froze him,” Thor returned the pointed look with a raised eyebrow of his own as the sounds of battle grew around them. Loki briefly looked down to see that Thor was fingering Mjolnir, but at the moment did not seem too concern with the defenses.

“So I did,” he replied as he summoned a shield and blocked two bolts that had been flying towards them, sending them into a block of ice that shattered upon impact. “Now if you will excuse me, there seems to be a growing number of Chitauri here and I do not plan to spend the time in their foul company-”

Mjolnir's roar and crackle of a gigantic thunder bolt fried a few Chitauri that had advanced towards them, cutting Loki off as he felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise with the electrical discharge. “You should rest, Loki. Save your strength-”

“What so you can get to your precious mortals?!” Loki stepped forward, throwing several conjured daggers at another wave of Chitauri, “oh by the way that was four I took down at once-”

“Six,” Thor smiled grimly as he pointed Mjolnir at another group of Chitauri and summoned lightning that electrocuted all of them.

“And such a waste,” Loki chided him as he shook his head and sent forth several fireballs, incinerating two alive and turning two more into instant piles of ashes, “they're the weakest in the chest plate or back of the neck. That is where their central nervous system lies, protected by the armor.”

“Loki you really should rest after that-” Loki ignored the concern in Thor's voice as he stumbled a little, but told himself it was because he had just dodged a gouging hole where one of the Chitauri had fired a lucky shot that got through his shields.

“I am fine!” he all but shouted at Thor as the Chitauri charged at them, their animalistic-mechanical howls filling the air, “Just because you are so eager to see your precious mortals on Midgard-”

Loki stuttered to a halt as he _felt_ the sudden invasion of a new presence in the back of his mind and frantically cast his sense out. _Nonononono...nothimnothim_ , the whispering echoes of the void pulled at the back of his mind-there! There it was! He sucked in a quick breath as he spotted _him_ in his mind’s eye even though he knew him to be far enough not be seen by the naked eye. He was in deep trouble… If _he_ was here, that meant that _he_ was not far behind. _He_ could only have sent _him_ out if they were sure that he was not escaping-

He was _not_ afraid!

But even as those words passed through his mind Loki found his fingers trembling as he tugged at the fabrics of the root of Yggdrasil, summoning the shadows of the void-

_NonononononwhyisheherehecannotbehereOtherisherenomorepainpleasenomore_

“Loki!”

“Come on!” Loki did not even think as he thought he saw Odin, clear across the battlefield, stare at him, that lone blue-crystal eye that held so much infinite knowledge, the understanding... He grabbed Thor's hand without thinking and stepped through just as he turned his head back to see-

_HepromisedpaintherebenopainIdonotwanttodie_

-it was the Other in all of his six-fingered glory, his hideous hooded face, the promise of pain that no crevasse or crack he could hide from advancing across the wastelands towards him-

-Thor stumbled, his hand tightening in Loki's, squeezing his fingers until they hurt, as the two of them fell through the portal and onto the dusty rocky top of a mountain. “Thor!” Loki managed to shout as he suddenly threw several daggers into the Chitauri that came tumbling after them, the portal still open.

_TheyarecomingtheycannotbestoppedIwillnotbestopped_

“Thor!” Loki could not spare a look behind him as he wrenched his hand out of Thor's painful grip and held up his hands, summoning a giant shield to cover both of them as he looked towards the still-open portal. He could see the Other getting closer-

Thor's inarticulate roar summoned a large lightning bolt that crashed around them, sending rock, debris, and plants flying into the air along with a host of Chitauri that had followed them. But Loki took advantage of the sudden distraction and leapt at the portal, sealing it with shaking hands until the voices stopped and he all but sank to the ground on his knees.

He could hear Thor behind him, roaring his fury as he cut down the Chitauri left alive, their alien screams filling the air until choking hisses were all that was left. A few seconds later, silence descended upon the area. But Loki did not look up, as Thor stomped over. He stared at his trembling hands on the ground and willed them to still, but they did not heed his mental command. He curled his hands into fists and forced them to stop as he squeezed and took several deep breaths-

He could feel Thor's presence looming above him and cringed, waiting for the question of sentimentality to come, of _brotherly_ concern that he did not want nor needed, but the moment passed and Loki turned his head a little to see that Thor had turned his gaze to their surroundings.

“...Where are we?”

“Is it not obvious?” he was appalled at how _weak_ he sounded and cleared his throat roughly, “We are on your beloved Midgard.”

“But...”

“I do not expect your thanks, you fool,” he snarled as he pushed himself up to his feet and shuffled over to a rocky outcropping, leaning a little against it as the exhaustion that had been creeping up on him felt heavier. In the span of just a few hours he had traveled in the shadows twice, had forced a barrier to stay open, and had even fought with his magicks. He shook his head inwardly – he had spent too much magical energies and knew he needed rest, but all he wanted to do now was to get out of here.

“...Heimdall,” he called as he stared up at the starry night sky, the wind blowing the edges of his armor's cloak, making it flap heavily, “open the Bifrost.”

“Loki-”

“You can warn your precious mortals of the impending Chitauri attack if you wish. I am sure you are able to find them easily with that,” he gestured towards Mjolnir and saw Thor heft it, staring at it, “but I...I am going back _home_ -to Asgard.” He pushed himself off of the rock and looked up once more, “Heimdall! Open the Bifrost!”

There was no answer and Loki frowned.

“...Heimdall?” Thor tried, but silence answered and Thor looked at him. “Perhaps there are still Chitauri around-”

“I can cast the spell...” Loki was rather reluctant to cast the spell around the surroundings, even though he was pretty sure all manner of creatures that had inhabited the rocky outcropping and still devastated woodlands below them when Thor's hammer met Captain America's unique shield, were gone. The night birds were not even chirping or hooting.

“No, wait, give me a moment,” Thor held up his hand and dropped Mjolnir to the ground before he pulled out a small little device. It did not look anything like the little communication device Agent Barton or any of his fellow human soldiers wore in their ears nor did it look like what Dr. Selvig had called a 'cell-phone'. Instead, it was similar to the radio he had seen some of the SHIELD personnel on the carrier carry around, except a lot smoother and more compact.

“The man of iron gave me this manner of communication before we left last time. I shall contact-”

“I don't think that is a good idea,” Loki did _not_ want to face Thor's little merry band of warriors. He had enough to deal with and certainly pesky mortals with the inclination to annoy like pesky bugs were not on his metaphoric list.

“I will not mention your presence brother, but SHIELD does have the resources to see the whole realm. You do not have to worry about casting a spell due to your exhaustion-”

“I am _not_ exhausted!” Loki was mollified, “I am perfectly fine-”

He clamped his mouth shut as the thing in Thor's hand lit up, a sign that it was perhaps transmitting and instead, gritted his teeth together as Thor lifted the device to his mouth. “G-Greetings...?”

There was a brief momentary crackle before Tony Stark; the man of iron's voice came back, “Thor! That you little buddy? Fury thought it would be you. We got a reading of an anomalous brief lightning storm out in the mountains!”

“Yes, yes, I am here on Midgard,” Thor replied, a bit loudly in Loki's opinion as if he did not realize that all but shouting in it was perhaps not the normal way of conversing. But then again, Thor tended to have a very loud voice in Loki's opinion. Whether or not he made people deaf with his boisterous tone was another story.

“Well, you want to stop by Stuttgart or something? We've got Chitauri of all things kind of overrunning the city. We're currently deployed there, but-” Stark's voice cut out for a second before he returned, “little bastards keep popping up everywhere. We don't know where the hell they came from! Is Loki all locked up? Or did he escape and is leading this second invasion?”

Loki raised an eyebrow as Thor stared at him before the Thunder God pressed the talk button again, “My brother is not the cause of this, man of iron. I will be there soon.”

“Good,” there was a grunt followed by a loud mechanical clang, “in case if you don't know, based on what Fury's saying, Stuttgart is to the east of where you are! And why are you in the Alps anyway? He's saying you've landed nearly in the same place you and Cap decided to do some deforestation!”

“I...do not know, Tony Stark, but hopefully questions will be answered when I arrive,” Thor replied before the lights died away and he pocketed the communication device once more.

“If you think-”

“But they need our help-”

“ _They_ do not need our help and _I_ am not going to Stuttgart,” Loki shook his head as he cut Thor off. To emphasize his point, he marched over one of the rocky outcroppings and sat down, arms folded across his chest as he leveled a look at Thor.

“But broth- But Loki, the humans-”

“You are more than welcomed to go help your little friends out,” he waved a hand at Thor who looked a little torn between actually doing what he said and staying, his hand picking Mjolnir up again, twisting it a bit in an absent sort of way.

“I...” Thor hesitated and Loki shook his head.

“ _Go_ then,” he could not believe why Thor would want to stay when he clearly did not want to leave him where he was sitting. He had to admit to himself that it felt good to sit down, his exhaustion a little more troublesome than he would admit.

“...Loki...”

“Go and defeat the Chitauri with Mjolnir and do what comes naturally to you, destroying things with your lightning and brute force so I can call upon Heimdall to send myself back....what....” he trailed off as he saw Thor's face crinkle with some concern and consternation.

“...I cannot leave,” Thor muttered none too loudly.

Loki frowned, “Come again?”

“The Allfather-”

“Wait a minute,” Loki's frown became even more pronounced as he realized why Thor would not leave, “does this have anything to do with the Allfather's orders, what was it...'bidden to watch me at all times?'”

The blond-haired warrior nodded, “Yes.”

Loki huffed out an exasperated sigh, “...Really...” He could not believe it. Even now, when Thor clearly wanted to go to Stuttgart to help his little pitiful band of friends, he was staying here, because of the Allfather's commands. Since when did Thor follow orders?

“Yes, Loki,” Thor pressed his lips together and looked a little disturbed.

“When have _you_ followed orders?” Loki shook his head, “more specifically when have you _followed_ the Allfather's orders?”

“This one...bears following,” Thor looked away, uncomfortable being under his scrutinizing gaze. Loki could only stare at him, even though he wanted to demand what kind of orders were given to watch him. Why would each of the Warriors Three and Sif follow those orders to the letter when they, Thor included, had all but defied the Allfather, defied _him_ when he was King, to do what they felt was 'right' in their mind. He saw Thor turn back to look at him, staring at him with something in his eyes that Loki dared not identify before Thor sighed loudly.

“I had not known of this until just now-”

“Just now?!”

“Until we had passed through the shadows of the void and arrived on Midgard, brother,” Loki glared at Thor for the use of the word, but the Thunder God seemingly ignored it, “but the Allfather was right to have us watch you carefully. Sif mentioned that it seemed like you had been trapped in a nightmare-”

“I was not,” Loki hissed before looking away, “and Lady Sif should really keep her mouth shut about such things.” Next time he would seal Sif's mouth with a spell before he traveled anywhere within the vicinity of Thor.

“-And it happened the moment she thought she had heard something in your adjoining chambers and looked away for that second-”

Loki could only stare as the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. It made sense, and at the same time he could not help but suppress the involuntary shiver that ran down his back. Such a clever ruse...and judging by what the Allfather had told him, such an elaborate one too. Just when he had thought he had gotten the upperhand, the new information he was given made it so that _Thanos_ had the upper hand. _The Allfather promised!_ He told himself...

“Loki, I do not fully understand what is happening, but I understand now why the Allfather has bidden us to watch you carefully. If whatever manner of creature had taken you-”

“I was not taken,” Loki growled at him, “I was never taken! I was a King!”

“ _Who showed you this? Who controls the would-be King!”_

“ _I was a King! The rightful King of Asgard!”_

The two of them fell silent as they stared at the area around them, clearly thinking the last time they had a conversation upon this very place. It was the first place Loki had thought of when he had opened the portal, the strongest memory he had of Midgard. Now Loki had to wonder if it was deliberate on some level. Whether by his hand or by some other device...

“Loki...” Thor's voice cracked and Loki winced at the compassion, the sheer familial _love_ in them. It was full of such sentimentality and so much of it that he was disgusted by it. “Loki,” Thor had clearly seen his expression of revulsion, but ignored it as he took a step towards him; “I will never leave you, even if my friends are in trouble. If you wish to stay, then so shall I. I will tell Directory Fury that I cannot help my friends-”

That was the last straw for Loki as he abruptly stood up, one of his hands grabbing a rocky outcropping to disguise the sudden dizziness of exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm him. He forced himself to push the dizziness away and glared at Thor, “That's it. We are going to Stuttgard, you are helping your pitiful band so _I can leave this Nornforsaken realm and return to Asgard_. You are more than welcomed to stay with the mortals you so love, but as soon as the Chitauri are gone, _I am leaving_.”

“Loki-”

“If this is the fastest way to stop your moping of becoming a family that we never were to start with, then I shall gladly do so!” he brushed past Thor and steadied himself before peering over his shoulder, “we were _never_ brothers Thor. Do not mistaken my sudden interest for your well-being. I am only doing this for myself. If you claim you are staying here with me, I would rather not have that.”

He saw Thor open his mouth to counter with what was perhaps some familial sentimentality, but Loki conjured up a dagger and held it up in a warning. The same look he had thrown to the Thunder God regarding his gestures of 'affection' and getting a knife in the ribs. Thor received the unspoken message and closed his mouth before nodding.

Loki smiled grimly before turning around and made to peel at the sinews and skeins of the Bifrost around Midgard to step towards Stuttgart when he heard Thor take a step behind him and turned to see Thor opening is mouth again. “ _What?_ ” he put all of the annoyance into his words and saw a look flicker in Thor's blue eyes.

“I-I was thinking, brot-Loki...that perhaps we should fly there with Mjolnir...”

“Are you insane?” Loki shook his head, “I am not being _carried_ like a sack of flour while you conjure Mjolnir's power and then dropped there-”

“I...won't be able to protect you in the seconds we arrive at Stuttgart if it was anything like you and Sif arriving on Jotunheim or us arriving here on Midgard. We do not know what it is like in Stuttgart,” Thor hurried on at his incredulous expression, “and I confess, I do not like the idea of traveling through the shadows of Bifrost and commend you for doing so...”

Loki smirked at the compliment before deciding to give Thor the benefit of the doubt. He would not admit that he would probably be seconds away from collapsing if he had opened another portal to Stuttgart, even within the same realm, and perhaps would not have enough energy to close the portal behind them once they arrived – thus putting himself into even more danger from being _seen_ and taken through- Loki twitched as he banished the thoughts from his mind. He did not need to think about that darkness...the promise of it...

“Fine then,” he stepped back and gestured for Thor to take point, “we shall do it your way.”

“I promise you will not be humiliated by not carrying you like sack of flour, Loki. But there may be some electrical discomfort,” Thor smiled a little and Loki was disgusted at the _hope_ , the sheer hope of reconciliation in that smile. He wanted to throw up at such sentimentality. He could only return a fake watery one himself as he allowed Thor to grip his shoulder and loop his arm around his right one before lifting Mjolnir high into the air.

Seconds later, there was a booming sound and Loki's world was filled with the black clouds of Mjolnir's power as well as the bright whites of lightning.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Oh, hey look, we’re finally on Midgard! Here starts the actual “team-fic” part of the story! Helblindi’s appearance was meant to be brief, short, and utterly mysterious…but fear not, he will make a return appearance for those who are interested in what’s going in between him, Odin, and Loki.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 9_

 

He could see the familiar opera house of Stuttgart growing larger as they neared it and seconds later, landed with bone-jarring force. Loki instinctively crouched and rolled, letting his legs absorb the impact of the landing. His movement pulled him away from Thor and he rolled to his feet and stabbed a Chitauri in the head with a dagger conjured in his right hand, his left hand grabbing onto the dead alien's staff weapon. Thor could not have chosen a better landing spot, he thought sarcastically, throwing them into the middle of a group of Chitauri. But a part of him wondered if Thor had done it deliberately to give him a physical weapon so he would not have to rely on his magicks to do the work and work his way towards acquiring a physical weapon.

He did not linger on that thought as he shoved the dead alien away and gripped his borrowed weapon in his hands, aiming down its shaft and fired two bolts at a Chitauri that had not been electrocuted by Thor's heavy landing. The creature screamed before Loki felt the passage of a bolt of lightning as it struck two more. He turned, coordinating his efforts with Thor as he sliced the air at three Chitauri that were charging behind them. The blade on the end of the staff weapon went wide, but it sent the three leaping backwards as he shuffled a step forward and stabbed on in the gut. He reversed his grip and threw the one pinned at the end of his staff into another, sending both aliens tumbling to the ground as he fired a bolt at the surviving one's head.

Loki suddenly pulled himself to the side as the third one leapt and passed through the sudden illusion he had conjured up and he felt himself stumble a little before catching himself with the end of the staff on the ground and sliced at the third one's back, cutting past the armor and fired a bolt into the Chitauri's neck, blowing its head off.

“Point Break! Good to see-what the hell!” the hairs on the back of Loki's neck rose as he quickly conjured up a shield that bounced two repulsor energy blasts off of the shield and reflected it to two more incoming Chitauri, killing them instantly.

He turned as he saw the man of iron flying down towards them and land on the ground with a metallic thump. Loki gave the man of iron a wan smile as he saw the man in the suit warily lift up his hands, pointing all weapons at him before he immediately lifted his own.

“Hey, wait a minute-”

Loki fired two bolts, each of them passing near the metallic suit before two Chitauri that had been trying to ambush the man of iron fell to the ground. Loki did not bother to acknowledge, the man of iron's squawk of surprise telling him everything he needed to know as he flicked his hand out, sending three illusions forth, running in opposite directions. He saw the Chitauri scream and point at his illusions, some of them firing at them. But as they realized that their bolts and attacks had no effect on the illusions, they were cut down by several arrows, gunshots, arcs of lightning, a familiar red-white-blue shield. Those that survived the initial barrage were simultaneously squashed by the angry roar of the green monster the mortals called the Hulk.

Loki could not help but flinch when the roar came again followed by a meaty pounding sound as several Chitauri were flattened into the pavement as well as thrown high into the air. He spared a look in the direction of the roar and saw that the Hulk was relatively far away, but nonetheless re-directed one of his illusions to go somewhere else before disappearing entirely as he drew them back to him. There was no need to alert the Hulk of his presence if it could not be noticed...and he did not feel _that_ keen to being smashed into the pavement several times again.

As the sounds of battle drew to a close, Loki frowned, scanning the battlefield that Stuttgart had become. He had liked the opera there, shown before the reception when Barton needed the scientist's eye. Thick gouging holes littered the area, broken signs, and flickering electric lights this way and that. Several small fires told him that the plant life that decorated the area had not survived and there were piles of debris everywhere. There were a few human bodies littered, but they were dressed in uniforms that he did not quite recognize.

“...Hey is that...”

“No way...”

“All right Reindeer Games, what the hell are you doing here-”

Loki ignored everyone as his focus narrowed onto a specific spot. There! That was where the indistinct shimmer was if one knew what they were looking for. It was carefully concealed to the mortals’ untrained eye and even to non-mortals like himself if he had not known what to look for; the opened portal where the Chitauri had been sent through. He supposed that it was perhaps the same method that the Chitauri were sent through on Jotunheim and the other realms, but this one was close to where the invasion began and surprisingly did not feel as if it had the same shielding magicks above it. And he did not have to cast his spell to scan the area too...

He saw what looked like a half-decapitated body of a Chitauri, but in reality was the body half existing in this realm, the other half lying in the shadows of the void in-between. It had more than likely fallen in the first wave, but none of the stupid mortals had even realized its significance. As he took a step forward, he heard the whine of weapons charging up along with the distinct notching sound of Agent Barton's arrow before casually reaching a hand up and plucked the arrow shot at his eye out of the air. At the same time, he quickly threw it away where it promptly exploded.

“I do not fall for the same trick twice, Agent Barton,” he did not deign the mortal archer a look as he took another step towards the open portal.

“Don't even move-”

Loki rolled his eyes at the man of iron’s warning tone as Thor approached, his boots stomping loudly upon the concrete. Thor would at least handle it for all of his glorious lack of subtly. Knowing that his brother would stop the others, he continued towards the open portal. He shoved the borrowed Chitauri staff weapon into Natasha Romanoff's hands as he swept past her. He heard her fumble with the weapon while keeping one of her pitiful handguns on him – as if the mortal's projectile weaponry could do him any damage – but to her credit, she did not fire.

“Loki-”

Loki turned and sent a pointed look at Thor before holding a hand up towards the seal. He worked quickly, pouring a bit of his own magic into the open portal to seal it.

_Iwillfindyouandyoushallknowpainuntilthereisnotomorrowforyou_

Loki shuddered as he thought he saw the frozen blue eyes of _him_ staring back-

_Therewillneverbeatomorrowforyounoratodayyoushallbemine_

He twisted his neck a little, ignoring the phantom touches he thought were trying to rest on his shoulders and quickly finished his work, sealing the portal with his magicks, silencing the voices from within before lowering his hands to his side. He could still see the darkness, blackness that was deep within. He could still see himself falling, with no end in sight-

“Loki,” Thor's heavy hand landed on his shoulder and broke him out of his thoughts before he roughly shrugged it off and turned around to see the rest of his little merry band of mortals all pointing their weapons at him. However, instead of the familiar monstrous form of the Hulk, there stood the quiet, seemingly meek scientist Bruce Banner, looking for the entire world, confused if not somewhat angry. He could only smile at their thunderous expressions and saw their weapons rise a little in warning.

“Thor, you mind telling us why your brother is here?” the soldier, Captain America, asked in a clipped tone as he hefted his shield.

“I’d hardly think if I’d be conquering your world again, I’d be here with Thor,” Loki deadpanned and saw the frown deepen on the Captain’s face.

“Loki-“

He held up his hand to silence Thor and to the warrior’s credit, he actually did as he was told, “My reasons are my own Captain. Though with the exception of Agent Barton here, none of you have shot at me which means on some level there is a belief in what I am saying.”

“Or we could just wait until you’ve put your guard down to shoot you,” the man of iron shot back and Loki smiled a little, revealing teeth.

“I’m sure that has been taken into account,” he thinned his smile a little in annoyance, “now if you will excuse me-“

“Hold on, you’re not going anywhere-“

“And you will stop me?” Loki could not believe the words that came out of the Captain’s mouth. He had thought the soldier was a little smarter than that, but perhaps his initial assessment of the leader of the Avengers was in error.

“We stopped you last time,” Stark shrugged before pointing an armored thumb at Banner, “well, actually _he_ stopped you by smashing you into the pavement, but hey, who’s counting.”

That wiped all pretenses of good humor from Loki as he frowned and glared at Banner who was pinching his brow with a hand, looking a little greener than before. “Yes, I’m sure you all had a good laugh about it too.”

Stark only smirked at him before Loki shook his head, “Whatever your concerns it is irrelevant.” He turned to Thor, “I am leaving.”

“Brother-“ Thor hastily backtracked with the withering glare he threw at him, “Loki, the Chitauri-“

“Are gone, the threat dealt with. I am going back to Asgard,” he reiterated with barely contained irritation, “you are more than welcomed to stay and help your little band of friends.” He deliberately turned, hearing movement from the Avengers as they raised their weapons higher in warning, but stepped away from them with two short steps. “Heimdall, open the Bifrost!”

“Thor, are you really going to let Loki go-“

“I thought he was punished-“

“Sure as hell doesn’t look like punishment-“

Loki ignored all of their protests and stared up at the cloudless night sky. The lights of Stuttgart had all but drowned out the brightest stars, but the familiar lights of the Bifrost activating did not appear. He frowned, “Heimdall, open the Bifrost!”

“…Heimdall?” even Thor was now looking up at the sky, his hammer hanging loosely by his side and Loki shared a look with him, the two of them coming to the same thought almost at the same time.

He raised his hand up and even though exhaustion was tugging at the edges of his consciousness cast the spell to detect the barrier that had prevented Heimdall from seeing signs of battle or of anyone in particular. At the same time, he brought his other hand up to ward off the sudden bullet that came towards him from Romanoff’s gun, but could not quite adjust the shielding to ward off one of the man of iron’s repulsor blasts and grimaced a little at the force of the impact.

He knew he was unharmed by it, but nonetheless, still felt the sting of it and glared at the man of iron while casting his senses out. He did not feel anything… “You!” he pointed his finger at the man of iron who held his glowing hands up, wary as Thor made a move to put himself between them, “you have the capabilities to scan the area, right?”

“Uh-“

“Are there any Chitauri around?!” he only knew so much about the suits Tony Stark wore, but knew enough from what Barton had told him, and from what he had observed before and during the battle about the man of iron.

“Hey wait a minute-“

“Wait, you can’t just order-“

“Tony Stark it is imperative that you please do as my brother asks,” Thor finally interceded and took a step towards the man of iron while also directing the others’ attention as Loki closed his eyes, concentrating as he fed the spell. He could feel the exhaustion tugging further, but opened his eyes again as he finally released the spell, puzzled. He did not _feel_ as if a barrier was in place…

“I am not-“

“Stark, just do it,” Captain America flicked a look at him to which Loki ignored as he stared at the red-gold suited man of iron. He could sense the frustration in the other man, a man not used to following or being given orders, but Loki did not care. However, it looked for a moment that the man of iron was about to deny the request when Thor took another step forward.

“Please,” Thor said and Loki pinched his lips together at the gentleness of the request, the sudden surge of anger from out of nowhere surprising even himself. He did not even know _where_ the anger came from.

However, his anger was short lived as something defiant within the man of iron seemed to deflate and he nodded once. “Since you asked so politely Point Break.” There was a brief moment of silence before he shook his head, “I’ve got nothing, not even a whisper of the Chitauri in a twenty-mile radius.”

Thor frowned and turned back around, “Loki-“

He shook his head and stopped mid-shake as he realized something, “Asgard…”

The thought occurred to Thor a second later and his grip tightened on Mjolnir, “…Heimdall does not open the Bifrost if we are under attack, but also he will not open the Bifrost if Asgard is under threat or if he is incapacitated.” Thor flipped the grip on his hammer, “How many went through when the Bifrost opened for Faendral and Sif-“

“Does it not matter?!” Loki cursed silently as he clenched and unclenched his fists. This was not good…if Asgard had truly come under attack from the Chitauri…or even _him_. He needed to return, not only to ensure the defenses were adequate to at least hold out until the Allfather could return from Jotunheim. Or would he have to go to Jotunheim first to bring the Allfather back, perhaps just a window of opportunity for Heimdall to send the Bifrost down and pluck the Allfather back up peace treaty with the monsters be damned-

But then he would have to convince Frigga to order Heimdall to do such a thing. But Frigga, loving Frigga, she would understand if he explained it to her. He would be able to at least bolster the defenses, weakened by the warriors deployed to all of the realms; save this pitiful one…his thoughts racing from one scenario to the next all because he could not leave and _Asgard_ was under attack…

Loki made a noise in the back of his throat as he turned, his cloak whirling around him, snapping in the air, and made to open a portal into the void of Yggdrasil, the spaces in-between. He could hear the cacophony of protests behind him as the Avengers realized he was doing _something_ to get out of here, but he ignored them all. He needed to return-

“Loki, stop…” Loki had not realized his hands were trembling from magical exhaustion as well as something he could not quite identify at the moment, when Thor’s large hands had gently hovered over his own. They were not quite touching his, but it was enough so that he registered their presence, and Thor’s presence near him, and stopped what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” he asked quietly, staring at the large calloused hand that was not-quite hovering over his own.

“I am stopping you from making a grave error,” Thor replied just as quietly. Behind them, the Avengers had all but stopped their protest and Loki could tell were trying to strain their ears to make out what they were saying.

His lips twitched at Thor’s words, how laughable and stupid they were. “I suppose you would know better.”

“I know this, brother,” Thor was staring at him with an intense quality that was very like the Allfather, but Loki did not meet the stare, having been trying to keep the tremors out of his hands. “I know you are exhausted-“

“I am fine,” Loki growled out.

“-and I know whatever seeks you upon the battlefield will _find_ you if you open that portal,” Thor continued and Loki finally identified the feeling that he could not place. It was fear. And _Thor_ of all people had seen what he had thought he had seen. Those unforgiving blue eyes, the ones that promised unimaginable pain, tortures he could scarcely dream of-

“What would you know?” he hissed, angrily denying that he needed Thor’s help or that he had seen what he had feared. He would deal with this himself and did not need Thor’s help. The Allfather promised and damn Thor’s ears for hearing their conversation on Jotunheim. Damn everything!

Thor’s hand drew back a little and Loki was viciously glad that his words had cut him to the core. Any hope of reconciliation was beyond this and he did not need Thor’s help, thank you very much. His idea of help had been to place him in chains, put the muzzle in his mouth, and do nothing to dissuade the others of how _monstrous of a Jotun_ he was. It was not self-deception on his part, but rather the plain unvarnished truth. Thor would _never_ understand him, and so it was better to nip the bud in his pathetic attempts for some kind of reconciliation.

Thor was silent for a moment before lifting his hand away and his presence retreated a little, “At least take the time to rest if you will, Loki. If you must travel through the shadows, you will need your strength to take me along.”

“Still following the Allfather’s orders?” Loki asked bitterly as he lowered his hands.

Thor did not say anything as he turned to face his assembled little merry band of mortals, but Loki did not turn with him, preferring to keep his back to them as he stared at the spot where he had been about to peel the sinews and skeins from Yggdrasil. There was no doubt about it now, he had seen Thanos’ eyes, searching for him and he knew that it must have been when he had plucked the knowledge and tried to sneak away.

“My friends, if you would be so kind,” Loki snorted quietly at the placating tone Thor used with the mortals – truly, he and Thor were Gods. They should be bowing down to him, and Thor should not be treating them as equals! “Please, lower your weapons. My brother means no harm-“

“Really because last I checked, he got eighty people killed before he was brought to the Helicarrier, and then another two hundred-and-thirty-three people who died when the Chitauri invaded,” Barton’s voice called out in the silence and Loki could almost hear him draw an arrow, pointed directly at the back of his head, “oh, and how about the fact that there are at least a dozen if not more policemen dead here. This is probably his fault too.”

“My brother is not to blame for what happened tonight,” in his mind’s eye, Loki could imagine Thor waving his hand a bit at the last statistic, “all nine realms are under attack by the Chitauri.”

“Didn’t the nuke I sent kind of took them out?” the man of iron took a few steps forward, sounding very annoyed, “you know, going into space, being a bit dead and all that?”

“What you fought was just a pittance,” Loki said darkly as he turned to face the others, his chin raised up as he stared at them. “Mere toys thrown away by him for the sheer fun of it.”

“Like you?” Stark pounced on the opening and Loki’s eyes flashed darkly before he smiled at him.

“If you wish to think that,” he shrugged, “but in doing so limits your capacity to see the grander scheme of things.”

“I think I’m seeing things pretty well here,” Stark shot back, “and just so we’re on the same page, why the hell isn’t being, you know, punished, Thor?”

“The Allfather…” Thor grimaced and Loki rolled his eyes, “believed justice was served when Loki had fallen-“

“I was thrown,” Loki sneered.

“-from the Bifrost…perhaps…” Thor looked distinctly uncomfortable at the line of questioning from the others and Loki was in no mood to neither help him nor discuss what the Allfather’s decision was, but the distant howl of sirens told him that they were not to be alone soon enough. The others seemed to come to the same conclusion that this was best to be discussed elsewhere as they shifted and looked around.

“Oh, no way we’re bringing him back to the Helicarrier,” Barton shook his head even as he kept his bowstring taunt on Loki. “No way Fury is-“

“That’s not your call,” surprisingly it was the Captain that spoke up as he canted his head a little and touched his ear. Loki supposed that he was receiving orders on a private channel judging by how the others all stared at him. It was amusing to him to read the myriad of emotions on the once-forgotten soldier’s face, going from neutral, to surprise, to resignation, before a reluctance that spread across his still-youthful features. “A-Are you sure?” he said quietly before nodding mostly to himself at what seemed like a confirmation of orders. “Yes sir…at once…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Barton’s voice sounded like a half groan, half growl of frustration as the Captain straightened and looked at Loki.

“It seems Director Fury wants to talk with you…again,” Captain America looked like he could swallow half-a-dozen bligesnipes with the expression he wore. Beside him, Agent Romanoff looked like she could be carved from stone at the orders and Loki had to smile a little at lack of surface emotions. She truly was very good at hiding things, and he had underestimated her.

“And if I refuse?” Loki asked, keeping his expression mild even though he saw Stark roll his eyes skyward.

“Oh stop being such an asshole-“

Loki did not know what Stark meant by his words, but he got the feeling that it was perhaps similar to what he had called Romanoff, a mewling quim, though even that was a bit vulgar and he could have figured out a much more clever word for her. He smiled again, one full of teeth, “Of course, let us all go to the Helicarrier where I may be able to drop Thor thirty-thousand feet to the ground or perhaps even make sure that you, Agent Barton, crash the Helicarrier this time-“

He nearly laughed at their thunderous expressions before the Captain spoke up quietly, his voice tight with restraint. “You know, now would be a good time to get very angry Dr. Banner.”

Loki quickly quelled his urge to laugh as he saw that indeed, Dr. Banner, if possible, turned a little more greener without outright turning into the monstrous Hulk.

“Thought that would shut you up,” Barton snickered unkindly, “so do we do this the easy way or the hard way? Please say hard way so I can just tie you up and stuff a gag so we don’t have to listen to your whining…”

The archer quieted as the Captain held up his hand and looked at Thor, “Do you still have those manacles-“

Loki drew in a sharp breath as he looked at Thor. If they expected him to go to the Helicarrier in _chains_ , he was going to stay right here on the ground in Stuttgart. However, his anger was unfounded as Thor shook his head.

“I am sorry my friends, but the Allfather broke them when we had returned to Asgard. I do not have them.”

“We could always sit Dr. Banner next to him,” having been silent through the whole conversation, everyone jumped when Agent Romanoff spoke up and all stared at her before she shrugged. The corners of Loki’s lips twitched in an effort to kill the smile that threatened to appear on his face. She was certainly very clever…

“That…may not be such a bad idea,” Stark looked thoughtful, if not gleeful.

“Dr. Banner?” the Captain however, looked more concerned than anything else and turned to the scientist.

“I’ll…manage,” Banner gave them a sheepish smile as he shoved his hands into the tattered pockets of whatever remained of his pants, feeling a little more self-conscious at being half-naked after he had finished transforming. “I mean worst comes to worst, you all shove me off of the quinjet, right?”

Loki was a little surprised at the reactions the others had to Banner’s self-depreciating words. Instead of laughing it off as a joke, all of them looked even more concerned and he briefly wondered if they were afraid of Banner turning into the Hulk before discarding the thought. It was not that kind of concern, he realized, but rather, they were concerned for _him_. They did not like hearing such words from him and it seemed Banner was oblivious to it as he abruptly turned and started to walk to the quinjet that had landed near a pile of rubble.

The others took it as their cue to disperse and follow Dr. Banner, the Captain murmuring to himself while he canted his head and placed his free hand next to his ear, perhaps receiving new sets of orders, though it seemed Agents Romanoff and Barton were also listening this time around. Loki looked over to see Thor take a step towards him before he wordlessly walked past him, his cape trailing behind him as he cast an illusion over himself to disperse his armor and make himself look a little less threatening than if he was in his armor. Mortals were so easily appeased if one did not appear to them in armor. He heard the brief zap of lightning behind him and knew that Thor had done the equivalent with Mjolnir before his heavy footsteps followed behind him.

Together they boarded the quinjet and Loki easily found the seat he was to take, right next to Dr. Banner’s right who was perched on the last seat near the bay door. Thor pointedly sat to his right as the others settled themselves into the quinjet, Romanoff and Barton headed to the cockpit to fly back to the Helicarrier. A few seconds later, the whine of the aircraft reverberated throughout, the bay door closing before Loki felt the swooping sensation of a vertical take-off.

He allowed himself a moment’s peace as the vertical sensation was replaced by a subtle pressure pushing him into the seat as they flew towards the Helicarrier, and closed his eyes. He gathered himself quietly, letting the exhaustion slowly ebb away. The Helicarrier was the place of his next battle, and Loki knew that he would have to keep his wits about him.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

This is not the fic where Stark and Loki become buddies. They do realize they have a lot in common, but it is to mutual hatred and animosity that they realize they are too similar to each other to really consider friendship. Whether Loki manages not to piss off the rest of the Avengers and come to a mutual agreement is another story…and one to be explored for the rest of the story.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 10_

 

It was far too short of a ride in Loki’s opinion as he felt a shift within the quinjet itself and opened his eyes just as he thought he saw Thor reach over to touch him. “Knife, ribs,” he muttered none too loudly out of the corner of his mouth and saw Thor withdraw his hand. There was a movement from Banner and Loki caught the tail end of the man turning his head in time to muffle laughter into his other hand. He frowned…but at the same time was vaguely amused that Banner found whatever he said to Thor was witty.

Banner cut his laugh short by pretending to cough as the quinjet gently touched down with a thump and everyone else started to un-strap themselves, or at least release the hand-holds scattered through the interior as Stark had done, having decided to stand near him, though without his helmet on.

Loki had been too preoccupied with resting himself to acknowledge the glare Stark had thrown at him throughout the trip. But now as he made to undo the restraints that held him in his seat through the trip, he met Stark’s glare with a mild look of his own and smiled a little, just to unnerve the man of iron. Stark only frowned before seemingly dismissing him as a bligesnipe would to a gnat and walked down the lowered ramp, head held high.

He stood up, bending his head forward to avoid knocking it against the metallic inner shell of the craft as Barton and Romanoff exited the cockpit, sweeping past him without a second look. Dr. Banner followed and Loki walked behind him, straightening as he heard Thor’s clomping steps shadow him. He squinted his eyes a little to let it adjust from the sudden darkness to bright hanger lights within the Helicarrier.

Loki slowed his steps down and stopped at the end of the ramp as he saw at least several armed guards pointing their rifles at him, their aim steady, their faces hidden behind masks and unique armor they wore. It had the power to stop some of the bullets, but Barton had said it was not all inclusive. A very good sniper, or archer in his case, was able to pierce the segmented parts, wounding unprotected parts or executing a killing blow if aimed for the face. But he cared not for whatever armor they wore; his original plan had been to at least increase the technological level of the mortals so they would at least be able to defend themselves against any other invaders after the Chitauri were done subjugating them. But those plans were for naught, not even shelved as he had no more of an inclination to conquer these unruly mortals.

“Director Fury,” he said amiably as he flashed him a friendly smile, but the dark-skinned man was unmoved by his attempt at unnerving him. Loki knew as much, but it still did not stop him from laughing inwardly at the sudden tense posture the soldiers surrounding him adopted. He found it laughably easy to bait the Avengers and SHIELD as a whole at the moment, at least distracting him from the darker thoughts that were within him.

“Last time I saw you, you at least had a gag in your mouth,” Fury stared at him with his lone eye and Loki met the gaze with a square one of his own.

It was ironic really, how he could easily see the Allfather’s disapproval within Fury; perhaps it was the lone eye, though opposite side of Odin’s, but something within Loki roared in defiance. This man was _not_ the Allfather, nor would he ever be. He was just a simple mortal who thought he wielded ultimate power. Loki was willing to wager that Fury knew _nothing_ of what ultimate power felt like. But he had to give the man a minute amount of credit for re-purposing the remnants of the Destroyer and attempting to use the Tesseract for weapons.

“Not much for conversation now, are we?” Loki asked, affecting brightness in his voice and saw the barest hint of a frown on the Director’s face. “You seemed perfectly fine gloating to me in so many words after my army was defeated.”

“Yeah, and now I’m wondering if sending you back was really a good idea,” Fury said sarcastically before turning to look at Thor who was still halfway up the ramp of the quinjet. “You want to explain this to us while ‘real power’ over there is placed in his cell?”

“Come now,” Loki spread his hands out and the reaction was immediate as multiple clicks of safeties came off of the guns, the soldiers suddenly tensed. The rest of the Avengers who stood to the side all shuffled a step forward, or in the case of Captain America, readied his shield, and Stark, placing suit’s helm on, but did not seal it. He pursed his lips, a bit amused at their reactions as well as happy that they actually saw him as a legitimate threat. At least the mortals took him seriously if the Court of Asgard did not see him as one, nor did the Allfather judging by his ‘punishment’ of him.

“My brother means no harm,” Thor brushed past him and Loki shot him a look as he walked by, but Thor blithely ignored it. That in of itself irritated him more than anything. He had thought progress was being made with Thor to _not_ reference him as his brother, but it seemed the stupid oafish warrior was as stubborn as the Allfather in insisting that they were family.

“Yeah, well, hate to say this, but the last time you told us this, we dropped at least several thousand feet and nearly into Cape Cod,” Fury did not look happy, “and since you all arrived without him in chains, I think it be safer if he’s detained while you tell us why he’s here and not chained up somewhere on Asgard. And also why after two weeks there’s a new bug infestation called the Chitauri again.”

From his vantage point, Loki could see Thor coming to a decision before nodding decisively. “Very well, if that is your wish. I will ensure that my brother will not harm anyone aboard this ship.”

Loki snorted quietly, seeing Captain America twitch in response due to his sharp hearing. He could easily demonstrate why no chains or detainment could hold him…if he was not still so mentally exhausted. He was certain his little display at Stuttgart had given the Avengers a taste of what he really could do if he had not been guiding the Chitauri’s attack vectors nor had allowed the heady power of having an army at his disposal get to him.

“Please lead the way,” Thor gestured for Fury and his men to lead them and Loki arched an eyebrow at Thor as four soldiers approached him. He saw Thor shoot him a quick pleading look. And as much as Loki wanted to stubbornly, and perhaps childishly disobey his request, he supposed that the cell would at least allow him the chance to rest, or at least continue to gather himself together. There would be time enough afterwards to wreck havoc aboard the Helicarrier if he so pleased, he thought as he took a long look at the four soldiers that now surrounded him.

They did not quite point their guns at him, but rather, expected him to move as Fury headed away from the hanger bay and deeper inside the ship. He plastered his most insincere smile on his face and followed Fury, the soldiers falling into step next to him before one of them got out of step as Thor sidled alongside him and Loki gritted his teeth. He would have thought that Thor would have at least stayed behind the crowd of soldiers, but it seemed that he was _determined_ to stay near him at all times; per the Allfather’s orders, no doubt.

“I don’t like this…he’s acting exactly like he did when he first arrived,” the Captain muttered none too loudly as the rest of the Avengers fell behind them, their steps shuffled and uneven.

“And why is Blondie hovering so close to him?” Stark added quietly, “it doesn’t make sense…“

“None of this makes sense,” Banner added, his voice an almost whisper, “but he doesn’t smell crazy…err, crazier than usual. I mean, he’s just…” Loki almost glanced behind him to see what Banner was doing, but he supposed it was a gesture of sorts.

“Do not fret about their words bro…Loki,” Thor caught himself as Loki almost threw him a look, but then did so anyways.

“I do not care for their inane questions, Thor,” he bit out, “I will be leaving and will not be detained. Surely Heimdall and the rest of Asgard must have defeated them by now.”

“The Chitauri were numerous on Jotunheim, Loki. Their attacks fiercer than I had ever seen, even more than what destruction you wrought on Midgard,” Thor murmured quietly and Loki thinned his lips. “I dare say that it will take time-“

“Don’t,” Loki hissed, making two of the soldiers on either side of him tense a bit before they relaxed, sensing that he was not going to do anything, “the Allfather-“ He cut himself off as he blew out a frustrated breath. _He promised_ …

“And here we are, home sweet home,” Fury drawled out as he glared at Loki with his one good eye as he stopped and gestured to a door that slid open of its own accord. Loki marched right in, noting to a certain degree of amusement at the grey walls, a bed that was most definitely not metal and had curves everywhere. There were chairs made of a seemingly flimsy material he recognized as plastic – such an unusual created mortal material, bendable at times yet hard enough to withstand a certain amount of force. But there were no sharp jagged edges, nothing to allow a prisoner in this…cell, of sorts, to kill themselves.

Not that he would ever debase himself to do such a thing, but he supposed SHIELD had to be given credit for considering all options. For mortals, he supposed it would be so easy for them to prick their flimsy skins, to bleed red with just a sharp jagged edge.

“I’d rather like my previous accommodations,” Loki shrugged as he looked around the square room, “at least it had a view.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not that charitable this time around,” Fury replied before gesturing to the soldiers to step out and Loki looked to see that he too was beckoning Thor to come out of the cell, having followed him in and was testing the weight of the single chair in the room.

“I am sorry Director Fury, but I must stay,” Thor said, waving a hand in the air and Loki caught the rest of the Avengers with frowns and looks of puzzlement on their faces. He hid his smile at their bewilderment as he turned and pretended to examine the rest of his room as he heard the shuffle of their feet leave. The only regret he had was that he would be confined to this cell with Thor in the room, but decided it would be an opportunity to test a new silencing spell he had discovered in the library days ago. Plus when he had rested enough, it would be easy to drag Thor along the shadows of the void instead of searching for him throughout the Helicarrier. He would leave as soon as it was convenient. Then Heimdall could return Thor back to his precious mortals while he stayed in Asgard if Thor was so bent on following the Allfather’s orders to the letter.

“Why?” Fury sounded more irritated than curious and Loki’s lips quirked up in a smile, noting his reflection was seen by all. This had to be a two way mirror he supposed as he gently touched the semi-reflective surface. A childish impulse to wave to whomever was on the other side filled him, but he quelled it as he turned around and walked to the other side of the cell, examining it with his fingers.

“The Allfather had pardoned Loki when he was brought before him, but there was one condition he had imposed upon his release. That he would be watched by one that knew him well at all times. The Warriors Three, Lady Sif, our mother Frigga, or I would watch him at all times whenever he was not with the Allfather.”

There was a clicking noise before Stark’s voice filled the cell and Loki turned towards the one-way mirror glass, sure that the rest of the Avengers were now watching him through that thing. “All the time? Even when he’s-“ His voice was suddenly cut off as Fury glared in the same direction and Loki’s lips curled a little in amusement. Trust Stark to be as juvenile as possible.

“And that’s his punishment?” Fury turned back to Thor, blinking once.

“Hardly punishment,” Loki interjected dryly, “even I had expected chains, torture, or even sitting in a cell such as this one. Contemplating my sins as all of you are so quick to cast judgment upon my actions.”

“I hardly think that the lives of three-hundred and thirteen people, innocent people mind you, are so easily dismissed,” Fury replied and Loki only shook his head.

“And you have not killed so many in your years? You and your agents over there? Each one of your members of this pitiful band of ‘Avengers’ have killed twice as many as I have. You, all of you are not as innocent as you proclaim yourself to be. You wear the laurels of justice and might, and you claim to protect the innocent,” his lips curled into a sneer, “I was right when I first came here. You all are lost creatures. Seeking some form of redemption and atonement. You cannot atone for all of your sins. None of you.”

“And how would you know?” Fury’s eye had narrowed, but his posture betrayed no anger, not even a hint of his name, but Loki detected the tightness in the man’s voice and knew that his words had gotten to him this time around.

“Because there will always be someone else to decide that you are to be punished,” Loki thought he saw something flicker over Thor’s expression, as if something clicked in place, but his brother masked it quickly by placing his hand over his face and rubbing his beard.

“And you are the one to decide what punishment befits us?” Fury asked and Loki shrugged.

“As you have came upon yourself to decide for me in all of your glory,” he flicked a hand outwards, but to Fury’s credit, the man did not flinch, as if he had expected no magic to appear from his fingers, just a needless gesture. The soldiers that crowded the door behind him though, twitched and Loki thought he heard something behind the one-way glass. “But no, it seems the Chitauri decided they would punish your sins.”

“Because we kicked their ass all over Manhattan?” Fury asked and Loki shrugged again.

“It is not for me to say-“

“The Chitauri are attacking all of the realms,” Thor suddenly spoke up and all eyes turned to him as he shifted, the chair underneath him creaking in protest. “But the severity of the attacks has not escalated in Muspelheim or in Nifelheim judging by the scouting reports we received while we were on Jotunheim.” He quieted for a second and Loki resisted the urge to snap at Thor to make his point, instead, sensing a disquiet growing within him, as if some dread that he had been hiding for a long time suddenly made itself known.

“I’m presuming these are the other realms?” Fury prompted and Thor nodded absently as he stared off in the distance, his fingers absently stroking his beard. Loki never realized until now that it was the same exact habit Odin had whenever he was thinking of something.

“But the attacks on Jotunheim…they were fierce, but they did not escalate…” Thor suddenly looked at him and Loki immediately backed a step up at the expression on his face. “They did not escalate until you and Lady Sif arrived, Loki. It was as if…”

“What…” the unnamed dread that had been slowly growing was pooling into a pit of ice in his stomach, but Thor turned to Fury.

“Director, when did you discover the Chitauri attacking?”

The click of a button stopped Fury from replying as Captain America’s voice rang out, “Just before we got reports of an unidentified lightning storm in the Alps…”

“So it is _his_ fault,” Barton’s comment could barely be heard riding on the Captain’s words, but they echoed in the room nonetheless and Loki was treated to the sight of Fury directing a glare towards the one-way mirror as another click told him that whatever method they were using to communicate had been shut off.

“I will not force you to do so because you are still exhausted, but I am willing to bet that there is a barrier now up within this realm,” Thor concluded and Loki’s expression twisted before he raised a hand and cast the spell just as he heard Fury’s shout, the soldiers guns readying-

Loki froze.

There was _now_ a barrier in place. The same feeling he had forced apart on Jotunheim, the same thing he had not felt on Asgard, but had searched through the shadows and plucked it from _him._ He stared at nothing in particular for a long second before quickly lowering his hand, releasing the spell, and found it shaking as he stared at it. It could not be…it was not…

“It is true is it not?” the horrid creak of the chair Thor was sitting on protested once more as he got up and crossed the room just as Fury made a motion with his hands and the soldiers all backed down from the doorway. But Loki was not really paying attention as the shadow of his brother loomed over him. He kept staring at his hands, unable to believe…

“He’s chasing me…h-herding me…” he whispered before laughing, a little surprised at how shocked it sounded, high-pitched and almost hysterical. He clenched his shaking hand into a wrist and forced himself to calm down as a rage, indignation filled him. He would not be _used_ in such a manner – to be chased like some wayward bligesnipe, herded like a hunted animal. How dare _he!_

“Loki-“

“Do not _touch_ me!” he hissed angrily as he suddenly conjured up his daggers, glaring furiously at Thor, “I am _neither to be pitied nor_ sympathized with!” It suddenly felt too stuffy, too confined in this _cell_. They were all going to use him, no matter what. Confine him to where he could not do any harm, nor do anything he wanted. The Allfather wanted to confine him to Asgard, but he had defied that and Odin had said that it was all to lure him to Jotunheim. But now, he had arrived on Midgard only to discover that he was meant to be here, to be continuously herded, like some domesticated animal. He growled a low sound in his throat – he was _not_ to be used by _anyone_. The fear that had been slowly eating away, churning within him turned into indignant fury. He chose his own way-

But before he could twitch even his fingers to summon a portal, to get out of here right now even if it meant risking himself found in the spaces in-between he was suddenly aware of a red-caped blur moving towards him-

Loki acted without thinking and stabbed the dagger towards the gaps under the armor where it was segmented, aware of the sudden commotion by the door-

He suddenly hissed in pain as his right hand felt like it had been snapped in two, the dagger clinking off of a metallic object, electricity burning up his arm and fell back a step, clutching his hand as he was shocked out of his fury by Thor who had held his hammer in a wide swing, his face unreadable. Loki blinked for a few seconds before realizing that Thor had all but disarmed him and stared at his brother.

“If you wish to meet _him_ head on you will meet him at your full strength brother,” Thor said quietly, but his voice filled the whole room in wake of the deathly silence that had fallen. “I will _not_ allow you to do so in your current condition.”

Loki gaped at the sheer wisdom, sentimentality, at the sheer _stupidity_ , of those words. He closed his mouth and pursed his lips. Thor was an _idiot_ of the highest order if he thought he could become family again with what just happened. “I am not a frail-“

“Nor am I implying it,” Thor corrected himself, but still held that same whisper, the whisper that sounded eerily familiar. It was almost as if the Allfather’s words were coming out of Thor’s mouth, but at the same time sounded so very much like Thor. “But so long as I am under the Allfather’s commands, I will do everything in my power to make sure those commands are not broken.”

Loki stared at Thor for a very long time, unable to reconcile the warring emotions within him. He was angry, furious that Thor had the gall to do such a thing, yet he could not deny that in his current weakened state, he would sooner fall to Thanos than actually best him. And it seemed Thor understood that even though he must have thought that this was perhaps a chance to reconcile with him. Why could he not understand that they were _not_ brothers – irrevocably broken when he had attacked him at the Bifrost, had thrown him from there. They would never be…

Yet…at the same time, he had to give Thor credit for his speed, even though he knew it was because he was not at his full strength. Otherwise, he would have casted an illusion, watched Thor fall through it again like so many times, before opening the portal.

“You will need allies,” Thor suddenly said and Loki blinked once – all thoughts of actually giving Thor credit chased away from his mind at the oaf’s words.

“Surely you do not mean…” he sent a pointed look towards the one-way mirror in the room.

Thor shrugged, “At least myself, if not the Warriors Three and Lady Sif.”

Loki snorted quietly as he gathered himself and sat down on the chair Thor had once occupied. If that was the way Thor wanted to think of it, then who was he to dissuade him. The idea had some merit if only to use them as cannon fodder for the Chitauri that were sure to surround Thanos when he did confront him. “I doubt I’d be able to pull four, even five through the shadows.”

“We shall cross that bridge when it is time,” Thor did not seem to mind and Loki shook his head before letting out a long breath, calming himself even though the rage simmered underneath. His original idea of just gathering his magicks and taking Thor along afterwards had no more merit. Now, he would rest and gather himself in order to find Thanos and _crush_ him. With or without Thor.

“What the _hell_ is going on here?” Fury’s highly annoyed and irritated voice broke through the silence that had fallen in the room and Loki glanced up at Thor before shrugging. At the moment, he did not care what Thor told his precious Avengers and SHIELD. He had his own plans.

Thor seemed to take that movement as a sign of his agreement before turning to Fury, “I believe this discussion should be conducted in a setting where everyone can be addressed. I give you my assurance that my brother-that Loki will not make his escape or attempt to harm any of you.”

Loki looked up from where he was sitting to see Thor staring at him with a gaze akin to the Allfather’s and met it squarely before holding up his hands and waggling his fingers. He saw the slight frown on Fury’s face and smirked at the man.

“I still want him in cuffs,” Fury muttered and Loki shrugged again. He did not care either way and if it reassured the puny mortals then he would accept it for now.

* * *

It was a few minutes later that Loki was seated in a plusher and surprisingly comfortable chair in a bigger room that he learned was just below the main deck of the Helicarrier, complete with an unusual interface that seemingly projected three-dimensional versions of maps that was manipulated by fingers. Loki vaguely remembered Barton telling him that it was created by the man of iron himself, Tony Stark being a man with obviously higher intelligence than most of the mortal populace.

Loki almost wanted to throw his completed tessellation within the interface to show that his creation was better than Stark’s but restrained himself. Thor would no doubt be fascinated by the creation and ask him questions that he would not understand the answer to if only for a chance to attempt to be a ‘family’ with him. _That_ was a headache he did not currently need, no matter whatever words of wisdom he had said earlier. He should have known that Thor would ignore his earlier words when they had first arrived on Midgard; and to now give him an opening to become ‘family,’ the Thunder God had all but taken it as an opportunity.

The rest of Thor’s little merry band were seated around the circular table, a majority of them with stony looks on their faces. The man of iron in particular looked utterly irritated with him and even though had apparently stripped himself of his armor, still wore one of his gloves that glowed on occasion as he fiddled with it. It reminded Loki of himself, in ways, fixing and readjusting his spells. “Keep staring Rudolph and I’ll be more than happy to blast an eye out,” Stark noticed his staring as he continued to adjust something, a whine filling the air before it died away just as suddenly.

Loki only smiled a little, “The adjustment frequency for such a thing to happen will require you to tighten the circuitry to the point where it crushes your hand.” He did not like Stark and knew the feeling was mutual. From what Barton had told him, Stark was considered a prodigy in his realm, and all but alienated several people with his abrasive attitude and work. However, from what Loki had observed, the man did not know when to bow down to those far more superior to him, much like Thor in respects, and he looked away, disgusted.

“Great idea. I’ll be sure to make sure that I get something to do that next time you decide to invade Earth,” Stark shot back sarcastically and Loki kept the smile on his face at the rejoinder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Stark look away, pretending to be engrossed in his adjustments and knew that his lack of a response to his attempt to out wit him had fallen flat. But the rest of the Avengers sitting around the table had varying expressions to Stark’s words, the Captain in particular looking a bit world weary while Banner looked rather uncomfortable with the whole situation. The two assassins, Romanoff, and Barton looked like they could be carved from stone while Thor himself was rubbing his eyes.

“Well, you want to tell us what’s this all about?” Fury looked like he wanted to throw either of them into the nearest wall as he addressed Thor.

Loki did not meet Thor’s gaze and instead, lifted his hands to place them clinking on the table as he flicked his left index finger against his thumb and summoned a small modular spell he had in his vortex pocket that he had not known he had left in there when he had left Asgard. It was similar to the completed tessellated spell, but rather was just a small green cuboid, the size of his thumbnail. Stark had the right idea to at least work on something so he did not have to listen to this whole thing like Thor wanted the others to listen to. He knew Thor thought he did not want to be in the cell and by making Fury have this meeting with everyone able to be seen, he thought he was doing him a favor, but Loki did not care.

He was perfectly fine in the cell, happy that he did not have to see the Avengers and was pretty sure that they were happy to not be in the same room as he was. It was only Thor and his misguided attempts to intergrate Loki or perhaps intergrate his friends with him, that he wanted this meeting in the open. He knew that his brother was not selfish enough to want out of the cell. But then again, Thor was not the brightest of all and only thought about creating the ‘family’ and the ‘friends’. Perhaps Thor thought that by exposing him to the Midgardians he would learn the same lessons he had learned when he had been exiled by the Allfather – Loki thought it was utterly pathetic on Thor’s part. Again, he did not care.

And so expressed it by focusing his gaze on the tiny spell, peeling it and adding to it as he could feel Thor’s disapproving gaze upon him. He ignored it and twisted the spell in his hands, hearing the clink of the chains binding his wrists close to each other jangle against the table. The chains themselves were laughably easy to take apart with just a bit of spell work, or rather, a zap of electricity. But Loki knew that to do so would further alarm SHIELD and cause an even bigger headache in the long run for him to the point where he would probably not get any rest – and that of itself would further his stay on this baleful realm. He could practically hear Thor’s unspoken words about how he was having a spell in his hands, that he should be resting, but that was Thor’s ignorance speaking – and Loki had no inclination to correct him otherwise.

It was a completely self contained spell work that he was testing out, nothing to do with his rest or anything of that sort. Just like the tessellation, he occasionally used his own magic to further it, but it was just a drop compared to the vastness that he used to actually cast his other spells. This was to be a vessel for him, to contain one of his bigger spells or amplify it in a way that he could use it to his advantage. That was what Thor did not understand.

“It is through my understanding of recent events that the Chitauri are attacking all of the realms to distract the Allfather,” Thor started slowly, collecting his thoughts carefully. “This is due in part to Loki’s recent attempt to use to Tesseract.”

“And?” Fury prompted.

“It is as I had said before, Director Fury, the use of the Tesseract’s power to create weapons was an invitation to all the other realms that Earth is ready for a higher form of war,” Thor started and Loki briefly looked up in time to see the one-eyed man frown. He smiled inwardly – so perhaps the Director was not that stupid after all and _had_ utilized the Tesseract while it had been lost and found on Midgard. “But I do not believe that this is the current cause of the Chitauri’s second invasion.”

“So what about that command ship I kind of, you know, gave my life up to destroy? I mean, hello, I don’t like making a habit out of dying…it really sucks. And no offense Bruce, but you might want to tell your buddy inside to please don’t drop me like a sack of potatoes after you come rescue me. Took me at least a week to not look like I’ve been mauled by a tiger,” Stark spoke up and Loki heard a muffled coughing laugh from the direction of Banner.

“I am now led to believe that it was just a part of the forces that had been given to my bro- to Loki for his invasion of Earth,” he could feel Thor and everyone’s eyes on him, but blithely ignored them, focusing on his modular containment spell instead. He flicked off a skein that had been corrupted sitting inside his vortex pocket for the last couple of years and gently replaced the weave with a new one.

“Given?” Captain America sounded concerned.

“Yes,” Thor replied, “and I had not known by whom until Loki and Lady Sif arrived in the midst of battle on Jotunheim.” There was a moment’s pause and Loki knew that his brother was trying to compose the words without giving away the strained relationship within the House of Odin. He knew that just only a while ago, he would have been grateful for the discretion, but at this point, Loki did not really care who knew that the House of Odin was falling apart. If it meant that everyone would see the House for what it really was then all the better for him. The mortals would easily forget after a couple of hundred years and so the shrouded mystique of the House would reappear soon after.

“Words were exchanged,” Loki frowned a little – damned Thor’s ears for overhearing his conversation with the Allfather, “and it was clear to me what had transpired.” Thor took a deep breath before continuing, “I once accused Loki of being controlled by someone else-“

“Like what he did to me-“

Loki looked up as he met Barton’s gaze squarely and shook his head, “No one controls a God. And only Gods control mortals like yourself-“

“You’re not helping your case you know,” Stark growled out as Loki could see Thor glaring at him to shut up and Loki only shrugged as Barton’s face went still.

“Sir,” the archer asked quietly, the tranquil fury underneath his almost monotone voice barely detected, “may I be excused?”

“There’s a feed set up in the room to your left. You may join the others in there,” Fury nodded sharply before Barton quietly got up from the table and stalked off, meeting Romanoff’s gaze briefly before leaving the room. As soon as the door closed, Loki turned back down to his little project as Fury huffed out an audible breath. “You done antagonizing my men?”

“Never done,” Loki did not even look up to reply as he resumed his task and could almost hear Fury’s grinding of his teeth.

“I vote to throw-“

“No, Stark,” Fury cut the mortal’s suggestion to toss him back to the cell short before turning to Thor and gesturing for him to continue.

“I once accused Loki of being controlled by someone else, and circumstances may have deemed it so, but even if he was not, he had been given an instrument of incredible power and the Chitauri,” Thor continued as he rubbed his beard, “the Chitauri are known to us, but they do not exist within the realms itself.”

“I don’t get it, I mean, I’ve been reading some of Dr. Foster’s works into her research on the Einstein-Rosen Bridge and it seems that the Bridge encompasses at least nine other habitable planets-“ Stark started before Thor nodded, interrupting him.

“Yes, the Lady Jane’s work was furthered by the knowledge of what we call Yggdrasil and the branches-“

“Yggdrasil, as in Norse mythology Yggdrasil?” the Captain’s sudden interruption surprised everyone and even Loki briefly looked up to see the Captain give a sheepish little shrug, “what, I used to read a lot of mythologies when I was a kid. I mean, that’s where the heroes are from…right?”

There was a moment of silence before Thor cleared his throat a little resumed talking, “Yggdrasil extends to the nine realms of Asgard, but there are always things that are missed amongst its embrace.”

“…Like the shadows…” Loki muttered quietly as he spun his modular a little and peeled away another skein that was corrupted.

“It is here, within the unseen shadows that the Chitauri live. We did not realize that they had become so technologically advance, having thought of them as primitive parasites for the longest time. I am sorry to say that when the Chitauri first made overtures to invade your realm, the Allfather had not deemed it a priority to protect Earth and its inhabitants. Heimdall had reported that your technology was advancing with the remnants of the Destroyer and the Allfather had decided that it would be enough to defeat the Chitauri.”

Loki certainly remembered the power of the gun that the pesky mortal had in his hands, almost half the size of him, when he fired it. He had not realized that they had taken the remnants of the Destroyer and had created such a weapon out of it; much less actually know how to use its technology. He vaguely remembered Barton mentioning something called ‘reverse engineering’ whatever it was, that many people used whenever they discovered something far advance.

“I wish I could have insisted upon my arrival sooner, my friends,” Loki rolled his eyes at Thor’s sincere tone as he continued to work on the modular spell. “It was only after Loki appeared in Heimdall’s gaze, once thought dead and mourned by the whole of Asgard, wielding a glaive of incredible power and removing the shadows that had obscured the Tesseract from our vision that the Allfather made plans to send me to Earth to stop Loki.”

Loki heard Thor shift a little, “I apologize Tony Stark, and to you, Steve Rogers for attacking you in that forest. My only concern was the elation of my brother being alive after we had mourned him for so long, and that he would return immediately because of what the Allfather had seen.”

“Just a misunderstanding Thor,” the Captain replied, “but what did the Allfather see?”

“The Allfather had not made it clear and I am still a little unsure, but I now believe that he had seen the Tesseract and who would wield it. There is only one being in all of the realms that would utilize the Tesseract for its power, and it is not for the conquest of the realms. That is only part of it.”

“You want to tell us what the Tesseract is supposed to do?” Banner had been quiet the whole time, but had spoken up with a slight edge to his voice.

“The Tesseract is many things, but first and foremost, it is pure energy as you had seen with your attempts to build weapons. What you do not know is what happens when that energy is utilized. It is a way of transporting things from one place to another. From the realm of the living to the realm of the dead. From Muspelheim to Nidelheim and so forth. It is what the Bifrost is and what Lady Jane’s Einstein-Rosen Bridge is composed of. That is the Tesseract.”

“And Loki here wants it…?” Stark waved an absent hand in his direction and Loki stopped his spellwork for a second as he shifted in his seat, the metallic cuffs holding his hands together clinking on the tabletop.

“Oh yes, I would very much want it because I need it to transport myself from realm to realm,” he thinned his lips, but before he could say anything else Thor shook his head and jumped in.

“Loki has the ability to travel within the shadows of Yggdrasil, to pick the hidden paths and open portals where no one may see him and he may not be seen. No, this was what had puzzled me initially, but I believe the Allfather had realized. Loki does not need the Tesseract, but another would want it. He would use it to bypass the power of the Bifrost itself, the defenses of Asgard and steal the weapon in the vaults that would bring about the deaths of all realms, the Infinity Gauntlet.”

Loki suddenly looked away at Thor’s next words, “His name is Thanos.”

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I’d figured Steve Rogers would know a little about the Norse mythologies being the kind of quiet geek he is and also probably spent a lot of time reading about heroes and the like, perhaps part of where he gets his heroic vibe from. And…Fury is not a happy camper. Oh, and Tony Stark tries desperately to make this his fic instead of Loki’s fic. Also, the Tesseract being a transport phlebotinum is probably not true for the comics, but I think it does very well within the context of the movies – I mean, the Hydra weapons don’t even leave a single dust pile when they “eliminate” something or when it kind of sends the Red Skull…uh, elsewhere, via something eerily like Bifrost.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 11_

 

“His name is Thanos.”

“And he’s a Chitauri?” Captain America asked, but Loki shook his head at the same time he caught Thor doing the same movement.

“He is…”

“More powerful than you can imagine,” Loki interrupted quietly as he turned his gaze back down to his modular, but did not really stare at it. He absently let it float in his hands as he could imagine staring down into the deep well of darkness, where there was no end in sight. “He…courts Death, because he has the will to do so. He will kill, maim, and destroy everything and everyone around him just so she would be pleased. The Chitauri are the latest of cannon fodder he has and even then, they serve him mindlessly. They only know of the battle and relentless pursuit of Death like their master. They feed upon the chaos like locusts and spread upon the land in a never ending plague. Pain and suffering follow Thanos in his wake…” It was darker now, and he could feel the shivery touch of phantoms lingering upon his shoulder. If he could glance over it, just hovering out of the corner of his eye he could seemingly see the ghostly hands, ready to snatch him-

“What is the Infinity Gauntlet?” Agent Romanoff’s words broke Loki out of his reverie as he realized he had been staring at nothing in particular and shifted a bit in his seat. It was also then that he noticed she had her eyes on him, her expression unreadable, but too similar to the one Sif wore, as if she had seen something he should not have shown.

“It is one of the weapons the Allfather has locked in the Vault on Asgard,” a quick glance at Thor told Loki as much that Thor had also seen something and even more telling was the Captain’s blatant attempt to look elsewhere. Loki was a little concerned as to what he had shown when he had spoken those words…and why did he even speak, was another question that he could not answer.

“Vault?”

“Yes,” Thor nodded at Banner’s question, “we house weapons that would not benefit the realms throughout, or are too powerful for anyone to use. The Vault is only accessed by members of the House of Odin and a select number of guards who have sworn and proven their loyalty to my father’s House numerous times. Some of those weapons are like the Tesseract, which we once thought lost, others like the Jotun’s Casket of Winters. Another is the Infinity Gauntlet. The Gauntlet itself is just a simplistic vambrace and arm guard. It is the crystals within that give it its power. Those crystals were forged by the greatest craftsman, the dwarves of Nidelheim, and imbued with the magicks from the stars themselves.”

“Who…uh, imbued them?” the Captain was trying to wrap his mouth around the word ‘imbued’, but looked fascinated. Loki knew that someone else would have thought the Captain would have been fascinated by the power, but based on what he had said earlier, it seemed that the Captain was fascinated by the mythology behind it…or the stories, whatever they were.

“We do not know, but whatever it was, the Allfather deemed it too powerful to be left on any of the realms, as it would cause an untold number of deaths for all realms if used,” Thor shook his head and Loki frowned.

But _that_ was the answer; the long standing mystery of who imbued those crystals and _why_ Thanos wanted it. It was all for _her_. Perhaps as a return of the creation she had made long ago, because surely there was no one else to do so, but otherwise, it was a creation to bring more to _her_.

He barely kept his laugh down as he realized that he had figured out one of the greatest mysteries of all time. And even then further suppressed his laughter as he realized with some irritation that it was because of _Thor_ ; that of itself was…disappointing to say the least. And Thor was still oblivious to the fact that _he_ had solved the mystery.

“So Thanos wants it? How?” Fury asked.

“The Tesseract would have been used as a means to bypass the safeguards of the Bifrost, Asgard, and Vault itself and he would have stolen it,” Thor replied.

“Like the way Loki here came through? Or got the Chitauri to get through? But wouldn’t you need a device to harness and stabilize the energy field in order to open up a wormhole?” Banner asked, rubbing his forehead as it wrinkled in confusion and Loki was glad for the sudden change in topic as he rolled his eyes and set his modular down onto the table.

It sent a brief ripple of unseen magic through the table itself as he sat forward, “And that is the limitations of working with mortals such as yourself.” All eyes turned to him, “Thanos needs not the abilities of your clumsy grasp of technologies that far outweigh the needs. He only needs to transport himself briefly through and back.”

“Like how you got here?” Fury tilted his chin forward and stared at him. Loki only cracked a brief smile in response.

“But of course,” he gestured to where Barton had left, “your dear Agent did mention something about doors opening from both ends, did he not? It is not an army of Chitauri he will send, oh no, those would be for distracting purposes, he would never entrust another person that was not under his will…” Loki trailed off for a moment as the horrible, _horrible_ realization filled him. So that was Thanos’ true aim now…and why all of this had happened. Odin had been right about everything since his return, and he really needed to return to Asgard. It was not sanctuary, but it _was_ the safest place to be. “…To take the Gauntlet for himself,” he pushed on as he kept the horror within him, to not let it show on his face, not even after he realized that the terrors and tortures of darkness, of a never ending pain, everything, could not compare to what would happen if-

Loki stopped the thought from being completed as he picked up his modular cube and flicked it across his fingers, its rotating hum of miniature power calming him somewhat.

“Then why the hell are the Chitauri attacking Earth? For that matter, why all of the realms?” Fury asked, looking gravely annoyed at the whole situation.

“You could have let me have the Tesseract,” Loki muttered into his modular, “then you would not be feeling Thanos’ wrath…”

“You’re telling me this is just a pissing match because we kicked the Chitauri’s ass all over the damn place?” Stark sounded appalled.

“Stark…” Loki could almost imagine the dark look Fury gave the man of iron as another brief whine filled the air before it died just as quickly followed by a series of rapid clinking sounds as Stark waggled his armored fingers.

“The Chitauri are attacking all the realms because Thanos is after him,” Thor suddenly cut in, silencing everyone as Loki stilled, his eyes rooted on his modular once more. He had not wanted Thor to say it, but at the same time he knew that the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. The fact that Thor had pieced together that much from whatever he had overheard and based on what had happened surprised Loki – but then again, he himself had figured it out much earlier. And also figured out the last piece of the puzzle that he was sure Thor had not figured out.

“…After Loki?” the Captain asked quietly.

“I think it’s pretty obvious based on who Shakespeare here is pointing at,” Stark deadpanned, “but seriously, Loki?”

“I believe the Allfather ordered us to watch Loki on the chance that Thanos would snatch him from the shadows,” Thor said and Loki twitched. A part of him wanted to scream that Thor was wrong, so terribly, utterly wrong about that. That the Allfather had ordered them to watch him because of different reasons, reasons that he could not comprehend, reasons that he could not even begin to understand – reasons because he was so afraid of it- But somehow, he could not open his mouth to contradict what Thor said, and did not know _why_ he was hesitating. His pride, his anger, he did not need Thor’s help and he would be able to defeat Thanos, thank you very much, on his own…

“So what’s the point? I mean, they were allies, right? I say just hand him over,” the man of iron said almost flippantly, but there was something else that Loki could not quite identify in that tone.

“We never were,” he bit out as he peeled away a section of the modular and added to it; gently pressing the two edges together and held it until the magic fused together.

“On the run then?” Stark sounded viciously pleased, “Because you failed in your little conquest of Earth?”

“I left his service-“

“Yeah right-“

“Loki has the unique ability to transport himself in between the shadows of Yggdrasil’s roots. To bypass the Bifrost itself. This is why Thanos seeks him and why the Chitauri are attacking the realms,” Thor cut them off with a booming voice and Loki looked away, rolling his eyes at his brother’s melodramatic attempt to keep things on track.

“He can bypass the Bifrost and get to the Vaults, right?” the Captain asked, looking at Thor and he nodded.

“So…let me get this straight,” Fury barked out a bitter laugh, “you want us to _protect_ him?”

Loki frowned, “I do not need your pathetic protection-“

“I wasn’t asking you,” Fury shot him a glare to which Loki blithely ignored it; “I was asking Thor here. You, I wish I can just muzzle up and stick in a cell.”

“Your threats are so very idle,” he leaned back against his chair, pocketing his modular once more as it disappeared with a little green-blue pop. The sudden whine of the repulsor on Stark’s arm made everyone turn to see the half-dressed man of iron pointing it straight at him and Loki gave a churlish smile before lifting his hands in an attempt to tell Stark to try his best.

“Stark!” Fury barked and the whine died down as did the light from the glow on Stark’s palm. Loki only chuckled at the reigning of Stark’s leash so to speak.

“Loki…please…” Thor rubbed his forehead and Loki only shrugged at his discomfort.

“It _was_ your idea to hold this meeting here, Thor,” he said in a mild tone, “I for one do not know what you had planned to accomplish. But if it was the expectation of me or your pathetic little band of mortals here to be comfortable with each other, then surely you would know that it was not to be. You knew of the clashes we had faced and yet you dared hope that we would reconcile; we would become _friends_ in just the span of confessions? How so very…sentimental of you.”

“That…was not nice, nor grateful,” the Captain sounded stern and Loki threw a withering look at the Captain.

“And you are so very naïve,” he countered, “that was the truth, plain and simple. I did not ask to come here. In fact, I would rather much return to Asgard.”

“Well good, we don’t want you here-“

“You could at least be grateful to Thor here-“

“My brother speaks the truth,” Thor cut everyone off again and waved away the look Loki shot at him for using the familial term, “and yes, it had been my expectation, but I had also hoped that his insight into this common enemy would be of some help.”

“You know what, he doesn’t want protection, not that we’re giving it to him, so I say we hand Loki over to the Chitauri and let it be done,” Stark made a motion with his hands, his palms not quite touching each other due to the armor he still wore in one of them.

“Tony Stark, did you not hear-“

“Yeah, I did, but at this point, do we even know if he’s really telling the truth?! He’s the freaking God of Lies and Mischief! The God of Trickery! For all we know, he could be pulling this over everyone one of you. Even the Allfather,” Stark gestured towards him and Loki repressed the urge to briefly smile at the backhanded compliment. However, it seemed Stark realized what he said as he glared at Loki, “And those aren’t compliments.”

Loki only shrugged in response as the others contemplated Stark’s words. However Thor was the only one to shake his head adamantly.

“I will not take offense to your words and will not consider them an insult to the House of Odin because you do not know the circumstances surrounding what has been happening Tony Stark,” Thor said in a grave tone, “but I shall tell you that the Allfather made it a point to go to Jotunheim to help defend the Jotuns from an attack by the Chitauri.”

“And?” Banner asked curiously.

“The Allfather was wise in his words when he had spoken to the Jotuns’ current King, Helblindi, in saying that your realm was not the only one that had been wronged by Loki. The truce struck between Asgard and Jotunheim precluded the Allfather’s help in such matters. As is the truce struck between Asgard and Midgard. I am offering my help in the Allfather’s stead to right the wrongs. And the fact that the Allfather went to help has easily told me that it is not my brother’s hand in all of this. I will not agree to _hand him over_.”

“All right,” Fury crossed his arms, “say we believe you Thor. Say this isn’t a fast one Loki’s pulling. What then?”

“I…do not know,” Thor looked uncomfortable and Loki shook his head sadly. For all of his grandeur and attempts to be clever, Thor was certainly…not. “My brother needs time to recover and I think we shall travel the shadows to return to Asgard.”

“And the Chitauri?” Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I…was hoping Heimdall would send me back, but if there is-,” Thor frowned as he suddenly looked around, “do you not have any battlemages within SHIELD that Loki could train to breach the shield? That way, Heimdall could send me back…”

“Battlemages…?” Fury blinked as the Captain also mouthed the word several times, trying to wrap his head around it.

“There is an easier way to do all of this,” Romanoff suddenly interrupted and all eyes turned to her, having all but forgotten she was still sitting with them. Loki stared at her with some interest, wondering what clever words she was going to throw at him now as she met his stare with one of her own. He certainly wanted to test his skills against her, especially in light of Sif’s poor attempts.

“Agent Romanoff?”

“We kill him,” she gestured with her chin at him and Loki smiled. That was perhaps the most efficient way yet, but sadly…she did not know.

“We what-?” both the Captain and Banner sounded horrified by the suggestion and even Stark had stopped with his tweaking of his armored hand to sit up and blink. Thor looked like someone stole Mjolnir and desecrated it.

“I do not think-“

“Efficient,” Loki tilted his head a little, bringing everyone’s gaze towards him, “but sadly, you are incapable of knowing all the facts. It would be easy for me to crush you this time around, Agent Romanoff, but alas, I believe you could be far cleverer than you will reveal. So then, very well, here is your information without any of your wiles to get at them.” He laughed, a dark and bitter sound, “To kill me is to give me to Thanos.”

He could almost imagine Barton’s glare from the room above where he was surely watching with whatever other Agents SHIELD had or even others on the Helicarrier. “You obviously did not listen when I said earlier that Thanos courts Death. He will kill for her-“

“Her?”

“Yes,” Loki smiled toothily, “she is of the feminine persuasion. And she is truly Death as you mortals will see at the end of your petty lives.”

“Death with a capital ‘D’,” Stark mused quietly.

“And Thanos courts her,” Loki continued, “and she gives him his power. So sending me to meet her while I am sure all of you are keen to do, will hasten the realms’ demise.”

“So we have to keep you alive…great,” Stark did not sound happy.

“ _I_ do not need your help in keeping myself alive, thank you very much,” Loki arched an eyebrow at the man of iron who snorted and returned to his fiddling; “besides you cannot kill a God.”

“You know, the last time someone said that, it was from a TV show where they killed Gods, snakeheads, really, on a regular basis-“

“Stark,” Fury’s warning tone shut the man of iron up again.

“So what’s this about battlemages? I mean, like Merlin or Harry Potter or something like that?” Banner asked, trying to bring the topic back and Thor nodded a little confusedly, looking very much grateful for the blatant attempt.

“I do not know of this Harry Potter or Merlin, but perhaps they would be able to lend us assistance…”

“They’re fictional, Thor, made up in stories we tell others,” Stark grimaced and Thor’s face fell a little before reddening just a little from embarrassment, “don’t worry about it Point Break. Even Cap over there still doesn’t get half of the references we-“

“Only you,“ the Captain interjected.

“-True, only me,” Stark agreed, “get. Well, Bruce gets it-“

“Don’t include me in this Stark,” Banner shook his head, his hands making a negative motion.

“You’re the one who said Merlin and Harry Potter,” Stark pointed out before turning back to Thor, “anyway, point being, I’m pretty sure we don’t have any battlemages…”

“But you yourself could be considered one,” Thor blinked and Loki had to agree silently. Based on the technology and the fact that Stark had all but built a suit with advance weaponry and a far more advance metallic conduit that did not allow direct access to his heart, it was akin to some of the more engineering inclined battlemages Loki had worked with before. It was still a far cry from the ability to throw spells at enemies, but Stark was closest.

“Wait…what?” the man of iron sat up in his chair before grinning, “that’s…cool! I mean, really? A battlemage?!”

“Don’t let it get to your head Stark,” Fury muttered as he rubbed his forehead, “back to the issue at hand, what good are battlemages for this?”

“Before we left Jotunheim, Loki was able to teach the battlemages that accompanied the Allfather’s warriors into battle how to lift the barrier that has settled over the battlefield,” Thor explained.

“So say we were able to do that, what good will it do?” he asked.

“Heimdall would be able to see our movements and send additional warriors to help us-“

“But I thought you said earlier that Heimdall will not open the Bifrost if Asgard is under attack or if he’s incapacitated,” the Captain pointed out and Loki looked at him to see a frown on his face. He shook his head. He had to remind himself that the mortals had no inkling of the complex magic and extrapolation of said magicks that enabled the barriers to be kept up. At least Vanir-trained battlemages would be able to do something so simple and thus be able to seal the portals Thanos had created to send the Chitauri through, thus stopping the flow of never ending battle.

“You’ve got something to add?” Fury picked up on his movement and stared at him with his lone eye.

“Thor forgets that mortals are not as advance as we are,” he said and to their credit, only Stark bristled at the comment. The Captain and Banner managed to keep their expressions neutral while Agent Romanoff simply waited for his explanation. “These battlemages would have been able to extrapolate the spell used to shield the battlefield itself from Heimdall’s eyes and close the portals that Thanos is using to send the Chitauri through.”

“That’s how they’re getting here? Through…these portals?” Fury asked before tilting his head a little, “what I don’t get is how they are able to bypass what you, Thor, had said was an interplanetary network that was seen by this Heimdall. What is stopping him from just opening a portal into the Vault on Asgard and taking the damn glove-“

“-Gauntlet,” Thor interrupted absently.

“-Gauntlet,” Fury amended.

“He cannot,” Loki simply said and saw a flicker of annoyance pass through Fury’s eye as he realized that he would not elaborate.

“Loki, surely the others deserve-“

“-an explanation? I think not, Thor,” Loki snorted quietly, “are we here to uplift them? No. You are here because you feel that they are worth saving. I am here because I am waiting to return to Asgard.”

“You know what he’s talking about Thor?” Captain America asked and Thor shook his head.

“I fear not, Captain, for the sciences of magicks and spell work was never my forte,” Thor shrugged.

“And yet here we are with a dilemma that apparently needs magic,” Loki drawled out quietly and received dark looks from almost everyone except for Thor. The unspoken statement that they did not need his help in any way shape or form was hanging in the air, but none dared speak it. Loki smiled a little at the turn of events. The Midgardians needed his help, or at least something along those lines, but they would ask it – nor would he volunteer it. He could see Thor wanting to open his mouth to offer his help, but also realized that if he did so, Loki would have instantly rejected it and everything would be for naught.

And every seemed to know that it was Director Fury’s call.

“SHIELD doesn’t really follow United States rules for negotiating with terrorists,” Fury started quietly and calmly as he sat forward in his chair, his gloved hands laced together in front of him, resting on the tabletop. The others sat back, allowing Fury to talk, realizing that they were all done with the explanations and frivolous talk. This was now the beginnings of a very delicate negotiation. “In fact, the closest rule we have is probably the Geneva Conventions, which I am presuming you probably never heard of them.”

“No, but do continue,” Loki mirrored Fury’s posture as his bindings rattled on the tabletop.

“So let’s speak in hypotheticals, all right?” the one-eyed Director suggested and Loki tilted his head in acknowledgment.

“Hypotheticals it is,” he could feel a sense of anticipation, a strange giddiness that bubbled within him. Negotiations or at least verbal sparring was fascinating in of itself, manipulating words and meanings with perfect ease. What was said and unsaid left so much room to fill the void in between and Loki relished the challenge.

Of course, it was all hypothetical at this point.

“Hypothetically speaking, SHIELD, and the whole of Earth has a problem with your…lack of punishment. At least physical punishment,” Fury said, “some on the World Security Council, the governing body that oversees SHIELD’s deployment was notified of your arrival and they want to extradite you to United States soil where you would be tried in a U.S. court under U.S. laws. The other half of the WSC hypothetically believes you to be brought to the Hague to be tried under International laws, since you were bent on conquering the whole of Earth.

“Either way, you hypothetically would have been found guilty of murdering three-hundred and thirteen souls and punished by lifetime imprisonment,” he said and Loki’s lips twitched in a smile.

“That, hypothetically, would be a very, very long time,” he said, “I’d doubt that in two hundred or so years anyone left alive now would remember me and thus I would fade into obscurity. I would, hypothetically, then perhaps escape to conquer the world anew.” He gestured with his hands, “Come now, let us get to the true point of this…hypothetical conversation.”

Fury nodded, “Considering there is a far graver threat in Thanos, a case could be made for early parole and release for services rendered.”

“What services?”

“The detainment and deterrent of Thanos, if he is as grave of a threat as you and Thor claim him to be,” he said and Loki shook his head.

“You only ask for his gaze to turned from Midgard, am I correct?” Loki saw Fury nod once, “I cannot do this.”

“Why not?”

“Thanos cannot be detained or deterred from one realm and one realm alone. You do not have the bargaining power of the Allfather and thus cannot make such a claim. However, there are other services that may be negotiable,” Loki pointed out.

“All right, I’ll bite,” Fury did not look too happy and Loki knew that the other man knew he had lost whatever ground he had gained with his so-called hypothetical questioning.

“A way to compensate for the lack of battlemages in scanning for the barrier and for portals that Thanos creates to send his Chitauri through,” Loki shifted a little, “you easily found the Tesseract and you easily found me in Stuttgart. I was told by Agent Barton that there are technological things called satellites, telescopes or something of that matter that enables you to find people quickly. This will do.”

“And your price,” he could see that Fury loathed to say those words.

“Well, it’s all hypothetical, isn’t it?” Loki asked airily and saw the frown deepen on the dark-skinned man’s face. He smiled, “Do we still wish it to be hypothetical?”

“Director-“

“What’s your price,” Fury silenced Thor with a short gesture of his hand and Loki shot a quick look to his brother as he realized what was truly happening. But it was too late already and Loki could feel the hum of magicks in the air.

“That my so-called crimes against your realm are dismissed in the previous matter of the search for the Tesseract,” Loki knew he could have worded it differently, to extend it further to include whatever future crimes he chose to indulge in against the mortals, but he supposed that a minute gesture of generosity would make this far more effortless. And it seemed Fury realized that as an eyebrow lifted in surprise.

“Really…three hundred thirteen lives-“

“Out of the potential thousands that could and will die when, not if, the Chitauri continue to attack Midgard,” Loki interrupted not unkindly.

“It is not a numbers game,” Fury looked angry and Loki wondered if he had pressed his luck a little too far. The mortals were so fickle with their sense of lives lost and lived, and though claimed not to be a warrior culture like Asgard, were very much war-like in that regard. Yet at the same time, they negotiated like they were the peaceful dwarves of Nidelheim and demanded the same respect as the vain Light Elves of Alfheim were prone to do.

“It always is,” he countered, “even if you naively claim it not to be. It always is. You claim to be warriors, you claim to preserve peace, and you know how this game is to be played. You are all murders, all monsters.” _Like me, the monster Jotun-Prince who should have been King!_ He let the cruel smile return to his face, “Ledgers all dripping and gushing red. Hands no cleaner than the person sitting next to you. You all know how many you have killed even though you may not know the precise number.”

“Well, you say what you like to say, I am not turning this into a numbers game,” Fury’s expression hardened, “and this is all you want?”

“It is all I ask,” Loki let the cruel smile drop and instead made himself look passive and non-threatening. He spread his hands out as far as his cuffs allowed him to, which was not far.

“Not even future crimes against Earth?” the Director asked.

“In a few hundred years, the people will forget me. Your Avengers will not be here to save you,” Loki shrugged.

“Thor will be here,” Fury said dryly.

“Yes and I am sure he will do his very best to stop me as he had tried so hard the last time I was here,” Loki shot back equally dryly.

“So, let me get this straight. You will help us identify where the Chitauri are attacking from, help us try to get rid of the barrier and for that, you want SHIELD, the World Security Council, to wipe your ledger of the three-hundred-thirteen lives you took the last time you were here?”

“I believe so,” he replied.

“So how is that going to help us stop Thanos?” Fury asked and Loki laughed lightly.

“Director, you forget yourself. Thanos is not your responsibility. You do not have the power to negotiate for all nine realms. This is for Midgard only.”

“Yeah, well, forgive me for being a little concerned for future allies,” the other man said.

“You wish to strike a bargain with the Allfather, then by all means, you are welcomed to do so. If you can get past the barrier to talk to Heimdall,” Loki smirked and Fury rolled his eye.

“Fine then,” he huffed, “everything of what I said before…this is your bargain?”

“Yes,” Loki heard the hum swell and knew that the magicks were about to be enacted.

“Done,” as soon as the words left Fury’s mouth, Loki felt something pull within him, a ripping sensation that he knew should have hurt, because it _had_ hurt before, so very painfully like the darkness that was never ending, the pain that could not be stopped- But even as he felt that _thing_ rip from him, feeling oddly warm, likeable, peaceful, _playful_ , his world was engulfed in a bright light and Loki suddenly reached up with both hands without thinking…and caught the warm ball of light that landed gently in them as his vision returned to normal…in time to see one gloved arm, two handguns, a hammer, and a scientist turning somewhat green all pointing at him.

He slowly blinked as Thor was the first one to recover and set his hammer down with a quiet _plonk_ , shaking his head. “Loki…”

“What…the hell was that?” Stark’s hand was glowing with a barely repressed repulsor blast.

“Sir-“

“It was a blood-contract in your terms, but in magical terms, a geas-enacted contract,” Loki hefted the little glowing ball of light, marveling at how…peaceful it felt in his hands. He had held several geas-contracts in his hands before, some feeling oily and slimy in the way it was enacted, other times, painful and burning, but this one…this was one of the rare few that actually felt rather pleasant.

“B-Blood contract?!” Captain America swallowed hard as he slowly set the chair he had been sitting in back down, almost ready to use it as a weapon.

“Geas,” Loki corrected as he rolled it between his fingers, almost like a miniature stress ball, “it will allow me to fulfill my end of the bargain and the Director’s end of the bargain.”

“I’m assuming this…geas thing, has some kind of punishment properties in it?” Banner huffed a loud breath as he rubbed his eyes and started to fade back to his normal color, following Thor’s lead and sitting back down at the table. The others slowly took it as their cue that Loki was not planning any other display or show of power even though he felt even more drained from enacting the geas and binding the contract.

“If I renege on the agreement, I die,” Loki said in a simple tone, “though I suspect Director Fury would not be party to any punishment for reneging on the agreement. He claimed to be negotiating for the whole of Midgard, so it may be the realm itself that feels the feedback if the agreement is reneged.” He stopped playing with the geas and let it sink into his very being, and saw Thor frowning in disapproval.

“You could have warned us,” Stark muttered as he lowered his arm, the whine of the charged up repulsor blast dying down.

“Thor did try to warn you, but you heeded not to listen. If we were still talking in hypotheticals, it would not have happened,” Loki was a little amused at the disgruntled looks everyone was shooting at him.

“Then how come it didn’t happen when we talked last time?” Romanoff suddenly asked.

“You did not agree to the bargain I set forth,” he suppressed a smile at her, “simple as that.”

She made a noise of agreement and he could see her filing away that piece of information for future use. It did her credit to ask and wonder, but Loki knew that if she tried to use it against him, he had further weapons to bring her down.

“You seem pretty calm about the dying part if you don’t fulfill the geas,” Fury steeple his fingers together.

Loki shrugged, “I have negotiated far worst than what you had agreed to, Director. Besides, I would rather not want the Chitauri to appear here on the Helicarrier – it would be rather inconvenient.”

Fury was about to reply when he canted his head, his hand hovering near his ear where Loki saw that he wore a barely-visible earpiece. The man’s face morphed into concern before he suddenly tapped a few buttons in front of him that Loki did not know existed on the table and a large three-dimensional image of the world popped up. He blinked, as the holographic image rotated on an invisible axis and lifted his hands to reach out to touch-

“Say again?” Fury pushed a few more buttons and a tinned voice blared out.

“-getting reports that the Green Bank Telescope is under attack by the Chitauri,” a feminine voice spoke from the table, “Sitwell’s currently confirming it…it’s confirmed. Evacuation order has been sent, but there are still a lot of civilians there.”

“What’s at West Virginia?” Stark spoke up, sitting up in his chair instead of slouching in it like he had during the whole time.

“Isn’t that one of the spectrometers and radio telescope observatories we had recalibrated to look for the Tesseract?” Banner frowned, crossing his arms together as the globe disappeared and was replaced by a map of a land mass that looked like someone had taken a knife to it and not in very straight lines either. The map rotated once before zooming into a blinking icon and Loki looked across the holographic interface to see Fury frowning.

“Yeah, but they wouldn’t attack that would they?” Stark tilted his head to look at Fury.

“Hill, prep two quinjets and a support team,” Fury called out, and it took Loki a moment to realize he was talking to the female voice that had interrupted them.

“Roger that,” was the swift reply.

Fury turned to look at the rest around the table, “I’m sending everyone except for you, Dr. Banner and you too Stark, to Green Bank. Your priority is to ensure the safety of the artifact that’s being housed there for study. Your secondary mission is to ensure none of the data falls into the Chitauri’s hands, or for that matter, Dr. Foster.”

“Foster?” Thor suddenly sat up, “Lady Jane Foster?”

“The one and the same,” Fury nodded once, “she returned only four days after the Chitauri were stopped in New York. And we sent her the only thing that we thought could have helped her in her research of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge.”

“Oh no…you didn’t send her that,” Banner had an oddly crumpled expression on his face.

“We had hoped it would provide us a clue into how the Tesseract’s power worked,” Fury turned to look at Loki and Loki narrowed his eyes. There was only another object in existence that was bound to the Tesseract…and he had lost it when he had been defeated fourteen days ago.

“You sent her the sceptre,” he breathed out quietly, an unsettled feeling filling him. Perhaps he had been wrong about Thanos, but just a quickly, he banished the thought. He _knew_ Thanos and knew that with Death’s lover, he always had ulterior motives. Jotunheim and all of the other realms were distractions, but Midgard…Midgard had what Thanos wanted…

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I have a feeling other authors can relate to this, but there seems to be a slight problem of Tony Stark trying to _take over_ the damn fic and be the co-star/star of a Loki-centric fic whenever they are in the scene together. This is that chapter in which Tony tries to wrest control away, Loki is back to his snarky-self (and thus refuses to help me try to write the chapter), and I throw up my hands and be like Fury: perpetually pissed off. Oh, geas/blood contract thingy is based off of Alis Dee’s _Agent Loki: International Man of Mayhem_ series – I really love that series so much…

 


	12. Chapter 12

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 12_

 

Loki could tell Thor wanted desperately to go to this West Virginia like the others as he unconsciously twisted his hammer in his hand. But his orders from the Allfather made him stay and Loki had no inclination to go anywhere near another open portal or Chitauri at the moment. However, he also knew that Thor would become insufferable, especially since he had heard his mortal woman was in danger. Loki sighed quietly, closing his eyes briefly as the others made to leave. It was a risk…but it would have to do as he knew that if he let Thor stay, it would become unbearable.

Opening his eyes, he caught Thor’s look and waved his hands, “You may join your little band of friends.”

“Loki-“

“I am sure,” he made sure to raise his voice a bit so the others would hear him, “that Agent Romanoff would be an adequate substitute for your insufferable presence.”

That stopped the others from leaving and both Fury and Agent Romanoff turned around. “Come again?” the leader of SHIELD asked.

“Loki-“

“You may explain to the Agent your orders from the Allfather,” Loki offered blithely, “the fact that he has only assigned those who had known me the best, tells me enough. Agent Romanoff is an adequate substitute for your presence Thor.”

“I-“

“I am _not_ going to this West Virginia and you have made it clear you will not leave my side due to the Allfather’s orders. I know you well enough that you will become utterly insufferable and attempt to wheedle me into going to rescue your woman. For the sake of not incurring the Allfather’s wrath and explaining to the Queen why I had to turn her only son into a miniature bligesnipe, which would be more of a headache and annoyance, I give you the excuse to tell the Allfather why you had disobeyed his orders if Agent Romanoff stays.”

“It is not only because of the orders that I stay Loki-“

“Spare me your sentimentality;” he glared at Thor, “you _will_ become insufferable if you stay. Take the offer for what it is.”

“Wait, wait, hold on,” Fury stepped back towards them and pointed a finger at Loki, “ _you_ , do not tell my Agents who goes and who stays-“

“I did not; I merely told Thor that he could leave, providing he explains to Agent Romanoff why she must stay. It would be _Thor_ who has given orders for your Agents to go or stay,” Loki smiled briefly at Fury’s exasperated expression.

“Semantics,” the man waved away his explanation, “the fact is, you’re telling Thor to do this and in a way, you are responsible-“

“Thor would be much more effective in the strike force since this Jane Foster is in danger,” Loki pointed out, “Agent Romanoff’s skills would only be of support and you will need an offensive strike force to help evacuate the people of the facility.”

“That’s not the point and Agent Romanoff’s skills are a valuable asset-“

“He’s right sir,” Loki smiled a little as Romanoff finally stepped forward and Fury turned his one-eyed gaze to her as she gave a little shrug of indifference.

“Agent-“

“My skills on this op would only be support and recon. We need a fast moving strike force to distract the Chitauri while the support team on the second quinjet evacuates the civilians and ensures the retrieval of the sceptre before anyone can get at it,” she explained and Fury frowned, staring at her for a long moment before shaking his head.

“Fine,” he turned briefly to throw a glare at Loki, “don’t get any ideas that this was _your_ suggestion. I’m only taking this under advisement because of time issues. If you ever think of doing such a thing-“

“Like I said, I never suggested a thing,” Loki held both of his hands up, both to show that he was still cuffed for their benefit, also to show that he did not really ‘suggest’ what was suggested.

Fury snorted, clearly not believing him, before he walked from the room, hand touching an ear and started to relay further orders. Loki watched as Thor approached Romanoff and quietly spoke to her. To her credit, her expression did not change, but he noted that her eyes betrayed the extent of the surprise she was feeling as Thor explained his orders and seemed to give more information than that. He knew he could easily cast a listening spell to hear what Thor had to say, but a certain amount of pride and annoyance prevented him from doing so. He had no need to listen to Thor’s opinion of him or what was happening, his brother clearly stating how he had felt about all of this through his poor attempts at reconciliation that was not wanted nor needed.

After Thor was done, he turned and the two walked over. Loki arched an eyebrow at Thor who looked like he wanted to embrace him, but hesitated. “Knife, ribs,” he cautioned and saw a grimacing smile appear on the Thunder God’s face. Good, he was learning.

“I will return soon, Loki,” Thor said giving him a measured look and left with the others. For some odd reason, he felt a pull of fear at his brother’s departure, but that feeling flitted away before he could contemplate on it. He shrugged mostly to himself and turned to Agent Romanoff who looked like she could be carved from stone once more.

“Shall we?” he gestured and she shot a look at him before gesturing for him to follow her.

“Stark and Dr. Banner are probably already at the lab,” she started as they walked from the briefing room, “I’ll bring you to them.”

As they left the room, the four guards that had escorted Loki to his original cell materialized from the interconnected corridors and surrounding him and Romanoff once more, but her pacing did not stop, nor did not indicate her state of mind. He guessed that she clearly was not too happy to be left behind, but at the same token had acknowledged her weaknesses on the battlefield to Director Fury.

They passed by several other crew members, some carrying equipment, others headed towards elsewhere, but many of them did double takes as they passed by. He only smiled in return, enjoying the discomfort they clearly expressed on their faces at his presence. It felt good to be acknowledged or at least remembered for something, though he supposed dropping a giant floating object with perhaps thousands of people on it was a bit overdramatic.

“Dismissed,” Romanoff suddenly stopped at a non-descript door that Loki did not recognize the last time he was here. When he had made his escape, one of the men who had accompanied Agent Barton’s strike team had reported that the lab that Dr. Banner was working out of had been blown apart by the initial explosion to the engines. He supposed that this was perhaps a secondary lab, though lacking in windows like the first one.

The guards around him all straightened before hurrying off as Romanoff keyed in a code that was too quick for Loki to see, but he gently brushed the pad with magic and saw the codes she had pressed. The door hissed open as he released the spell on the keypad and she looked at him expectantly.

He stepped past her into the lab and was immediately confronted with at least several monitors, all of them similar to the holographic interfacing that was in the briefing room, but instead was two dimensional and projected onto transparent screens.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Banner looked up and Loki was a little surprised at the sudden business-like demeanor in his posture and tone, a complete contrast to the seemingly meek and non-confrontational nature of the man to stop the release of the monster within.

Banner turned one of the screens towards him before pointing out a vague pattern on the screen, some full of lines, others with bars and codes on it, “I need you to work out the configuration pattern-“

“He’s not getting access to any computer systems, Doctor,” Romanoff spoke up behind him and Loki turned a little to see her crossing her arms across her chest.

“But-“

“Fury’s orders,” Romanoff shook her head, “we don’t know what he’s capable of doing to the network if he does get access.”

Banner opened his mouth to protest once more before he closed it and shrugged resignedly. “It would be much easier if he could help us program it…”

“We don’t even know if he knows computers, Bruce,” Stark called out absently as he stared at his own screen, his ungloved hand tapping quickly on a series of letters, the gloved one gently swiping across the screen, “Jarvis, I need you to copy the files that we had scanned for and re-upload them to the mainframe.”

Loki looked around, expecting to see someone named Jarvis around, but no one appeared and he decided that Stark was perhaps talking to someone he could not see nor hear within the room.

“You deleted the files?” Banner looked surprise and out of the corner of Loki’s eye, he saw Romanoff shake her head, as if she had expected it.

“I kept them safe,” Stark replied absently, “so, Blitzen, I’m throwing out a guess here, but since Asgardian magic or magick-tech or whatever, can be like the Tesseract, it emits a radiation of sorts, right?”

“What he means is that we found the location of the Tesseract just by scanning it for gamma radiation,” Banner explained, “and I think Tony’s determined to probably call you every single reindeer that Santa has, so you can do what I usually do, ignore him.”

“Hey!” Stark protested, but it was in jest and Loki’s brow wrinkled a bit in confusion. He had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, but had long figured that Stark was referring to him by odd names when he wasn’t calling Thor ‘Point Break’ or whatever other names he was tossing at the others.

“But you are not looking for the Tesseract,” Loki started as he tried to figure out how he was going to solve the problem of making sure the mortals were able to scan the barrier and at least find the portals the Chitauri were being sent through. It was…difficult to say the least, to convert the equations and calculations of magic that he had learned into their terms. Especially since none of them believed in magic and barring the fact that it was a very highly guarded secret amongst all magic-users. Even Loki dared not break that oath that he had taken when he had first learned spell work.

He had to admit, it was much easier to show- A smile briefly worked its way up his face as he killed it quickly and stretched his hands out, summoning a light spell that appeared on his finger tips.

“What-“

“Do you not have your…scanners…as you call them? Scan this and tell me what frequencies they radiate,” he looked at them as Stark lowered his arm, having taken a step back when he had cast the spell. By contrast, Banner had taken a step forward, utterly fascinated with the spell glowing on his finger tips. Behind him, he had not heard a peep from Romanoff and turned his head slightly to see her staring at the spell with some curiosity, but not the surprise that he thought she would wear.

“It’s not that easy,” Banner took another step forward and adjusted his glasses as he peered down at his hands, “I mean, we have portable radiation detectors, but they’re kind of useless, only there to figure out how much radiation someone’s exposed to-“

“Give me a second,” Stark interrupted before, tapping his screen, “Jarvis, can you give me a quick bypass to the portable scanner I have in the HUD and bring it up here. Good, good…”

Stark’s display changed and Loki blinked at the sudden jagged lines that appeared on a corner along with a display that was listing a meaningless symbols he did not recognize. They looked a little like runes, but instead, were written with just a single capital letter and a lower case letter. He nearly took a step back as he saw Stark lift his gloved arm up and the whine of the circle of light in the middle, where repulsors usually fired from, hummed. But resisted the urge to do so when he saw a smirk briefly appear on the other man’s face and frowned, narrowing his eyes.

“If you think of harming-“

“Relax, Donner, though I suppose it would be funny to just you know, blast you a bit for all those three-hundred-thirteen lives-“ Stark’s expression changed a little and Loki smiled nastily at the sudden grimace of pain that appeared on his face just before it disappeared.

“What was that?” Romanoff asked warily behind Loki and he turned a little to see her hand on the butt of her holstered gun.

“The effect of the geas,” he answered before turning back to Stark who had a murderous look on his face and smiled, “I was curious as to what would happen based on Director Fury’s negotiations. It seems I have my answer.”

“…the hell?” Stark paled a bit, but did not lower his hand. He took a deep breath before releasing it and Banner started to shuffled towards him, but was stopped by a look from the man of iron.

“You spoke of taking revenge for the lives of those three-hundred-thirteen mortals,” Loki shrugged lazily, “the contract of the geas prevents any sort of harm to befall me if anyone decides to avenge or say I owe them recompense for those lives.”

“So if you don’t figure out how to help us…”

“I will simply die,” Loki finished for Romanoff, “and if someone decides to try what Tony Stark here tried, even perhaps as a joke, the geas will kill them.”

“That’s…” Banner trailed off and Loki saw Stark lower his hand as he glared at him.

“What a piece of work,” Stark muttered, “you knew that was going to happen, didn’t you?”

“I can claim that I did not, but you will not believe my words, so why should I say anything?” he countered and the other man looked away, his un-armored hand flexing in anger before he all but glared at his own screen.

“I got portions of near-infared, and near-ultraviolet, which doesn’t make any sense,” Stark grounded out, fighting to move past what had just happened, but Loki sensed that he was not quite done and knew the other man would confront the issue later, “so we’re supposed to scan for this stuff, because to tell you the truth, there’s a lot of things out there that read into this part of the electromagnetic spectrum.”

“No,” Loki shook his head and Stark sighed loudly and noisily.

“Then what the hell-“

“I wanted to make sure that your primitive technology was capable of detecting a minute amount of magic,” Loki interrupted the man of iron who looked like he wanted to slug him hard.

“Hey, hey, calm down guys,” this time Banner stepped in between them with a hesitant smile on his face and Loki instantly realized that with him and Stark bickering, Banner was liable to turn into the monster…and he had no inclination of being the monster’s toy a second time around.

“My apologies,” he took a step back and spread his hands out as best as he could with his cuffs still on.

“Yeah…sorry,” Stark groused out before rubbing the back of his head.

“Okay, good,” Banner nodded congenially before turning to Loki, “so what are we supposed to be scanning for?”

“The barrier is only one part of the magic that prevents Heimall from being able to see parts of the realm,” he gestured with a wrist, feeling it grate against the metallic bite of the cuffs, “but that barrier is also being used with the magic of the portal itself. I can only show you part of it, but you will have to scan a portal and combine the two in order to find the right…frequency, as you call it like you had found the Tesseract.”

“So, why didn’t you go with the strike team?” Stark blinked, “would have made it a lot easier-“

“It would not have,” Loki gritted his teeth as he felt like he was explaining things to a child of all people, “Thanos’ portals have a completely different weave and skein than my own. Those skeins and weaves are similar to the barrier, but are different when traveling through portals-“

“Hold on, hold on, skeins? Weaves?” Banner looked confused and Loki sighed, rolling his eyes in frustration as he looked away from them to try to regain some of his composure before turning back to Banner and Stark.

“Each magic cast by a healer or battlemage has their own unique signature. A skein of magic or weave of the spell is like a thumbprint,” he explained carefully, keeping his voice leveled and controlled. “There are common…threads that bind each spell cast together, but each time the same spell is cast, there is always something different. The weaves of spell work for a portal to cross the shadows of Yggdrasil are perhaps the most…unique of all.”

“How?” he turned as Romanoff walked over to a table and leaned against it, her arms still crossed, but she looked rather interested in his explanation.

“They…” he hesitated, feeling oddly vulnerable for a moment as he realized what he was about to say was highly personal, and seemingly exposed the deepest and most private thoughts from within him. But as he looked at them, he realized with some ironic thrill that they would not judge him as the Asgardians or Court judged him for so long. They did not _know_ him, did not know the ridicule nor shunning of magicks. They did not know…and they would not be able to truly understand what he was about to say. “They are…the mental state of the caster itself. To truly cross between the shadows of Yggdrasil, the branches and darkness, one must cross oneself…”

And true to what he had predicted, there was confusion on all three’s faces and Loki breathed an inward sigh of relief. If Thor had heard that, or even the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, they would have pitied him, would have looked at him with some disgust, and would have derided him for the type of unholy magick he had performed. Even the battlemages would have stared at him in horror, to do such a thing and the Allfather would have surely said that he sullied himself by doing such a thing. The true testament of what it meant to be anathema was this…

“So…I guess how does this help us? I mean, each portal the Chitauri are sent through is unique right? So how can we figure out how to scan for one if they’re different each time?” Banner asked, tapping a finger on his lip as his brow furrowed in thought.

“There are common threads,” Loki shrugged before summoning the skein and weave he had stolen from Thanos days earlier, but did not apply it to the spell to break the barrier and lifted his hands up, his palms flat.

“Uh…”

“I don’t see anything?” Romanoff tilted her head slightly and Loki shook his head.

“Scan it,” he looked at the man of iron who reluctantly lifted his armored hand up and the small whine filled the air.

“I’m getting…soft x-rays and some gamma radiation?” Stark sounded unsure as he stared at his screen, the jagged lines that Loki could see becoming even more jagged, but they seemingly were static and disjointed, “I can’t…it’s not really getting a good reading.”

Loki frowned as he stared at the weave he had plucked, trying to find if there was any imperfection within it, but a cursory scan of his own revealed nothing. The complexity of the spell work must be great he realized as he lowered his hands. “We will need to perhaps scan an open portal,” he said, a grimace on his face as he thought of actually going back to the battlefield, to where _Thor_ was…but that was not what he was truly afraid of. He did not want to see that lone blue eye that stared back at him from the darkness, from nothing, ready to swallow him whole-

“Green Bank was one of those we used; maybe I can configure it to scan for the frequencies that your suit picked up…” Banner suggested as he moved to his own workstation and started to tap on a few things on the screen.

“No, it’s not perfect. Plus, who knows what you may pick up in the mean time,” Stark shook his head, “Prancer’s right, we probably need an open portal, but we do need a stronger radio telescope than the miniature one I’ve got. I can hack into Green Bank and we can then work from there-“

The door suddenly opened and all of them turned to see a rather ordinary man with unremarkable features standing by the door. However, Loki realized that the ordinary looking man was rather…familiar in ways, but he could not place his face. However, both Banner and Stark looked like someone had walked over their graves several times. Romanoff by contrast, looked mildly surprised, as if she had known for a while now.

“Fury called me in early,” the man shrugged at Romanoff’s expression to which Loki saw her smile a little before he turned to face the other two, “sorry…couldn’t tell you that I was actually back and you know…not quite dead. I was actually watching upstairs with Barton, Hill, and the others…”

If anything, Stark’s expression surprised Loki as he saw something akin to anger, fury, even consternation, guilt, followed by something utterly unreadable pass through the man of iron’s face.

“Good to meet you…again,” the man said and Loki realized he was addressing him, “Phil Coulson…the guy you kind of stabbed with your glowstick of destiny when you were busy trying to send Thor thirty-thousand feet into the ground.”

Loki blinked before he realized why the other man looked familiar. He had to admit, when he had first faced off against the almost-comically gigantic weapon this son of Coul had in his hand, it had been an unknown quantity. His magic had immediately identified it with the markers of Odin’s Destroyer, yet at the same time had been manipulated to the point that he had barely recognized it. If there was anything Loki knew, it was that the Destroyer was aptly named and anything, _anything_ derived from it would _hurt_.

“You’ll forgive me if I’m not going to shake hands with you,” the ordinary-looking mortal shrugged as if it was the sole thing he wanted to do and Loki smiled briefly. The mortal had courage; he had to give him that, especially since he remembered stabbing him through and then discarding him to the side like he was just a waste of space. Even the blast from that unique gun he had wielded was a surprise, but nonetheless at that time, it was an annoyance in his escape.

“You said I lacked conviction, is that correct?” he was starting to remember more about this ordinary, yet _dangerous_ , simple looking man and wondered if he should classify his resilience and perhaps slightly manipulative tendencies as high as he ranked Agent Romanoff’s abilities.

The son of Coul flashed a brief smile, but there was nothing behind it, “You do remember.”

“I believe it was more of the fact that my army lacked conviction,” Loki shrugged, “I still believe all of you belong under my heel, but there are far more pressing matters…”

“Yes,” Coulson seemed to gather himself together and addressed the others, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we need to borrow you Stark and Agent Romanoff. There’s been another sighting of the Chitauri in Montreal and we’ve got a team headed in, but we need some extra firepower. The others are still dealing with Green Bank…”

“What does SHIELD have in Montreal?” Banner asked the same time Romanoff also spoke up

“I…I can’t leave him,” Romanoff winced and Loki resisted the urge to sigh. Whatever Thor had told the red-headed Agent, it had produced the same result and Coulson frowned.

“I’m sure Dr. Banner-“

Romanoff shook her head and Loki looked at her, wondering _why_ of all people she would not just go. She did not hold the same loyalties as Thor, the same _sentimentality_ that made Thor try to reconcile and attempt to be the family that they once was – though he would never understand that Loki did not _want_ to be that family anymore, the family of lies, deceit, and of being in the _shadows_. So what had Thor said to make her defy Coulson’s request? He seemed to give off the air of authority and rank that Fury gave off, perhaps a hierarchy that he was senior to her in some respects. SHIELD in particular prided themselves to be a warrior-like culture, with a few oddball semi-pacifists like Banner and even the soldier Rogers in it, so in respects, should Romanoff openly defy Coulson’s order?

“You want to tell me why?” Coulson looked puzzled and Romanoff shook her head again before Loki saw the barest flicker of her eyes back to him and realized that she would not say whatever Thor had told her in front of him.

“I’ll pretend to turn around and silence my ears from your damning words, Agent,” Loki drawled even though a part of him was now deeply concerned with _what_ was said that even Thor had perhaps sworn Romanoff to silence. He sent a tendril of magicks towards her, but there was no indication that she was under a geas, except for the one engulfing the whole of Midgard for his previous negotiations with Fury. Then again, he did not expect any other geas upon her, since Thor had not even a drop of magick ability except for the hammer he wielded.

“What’s in Montreal?” Banner asked as the tension in the room was starting to rise with Romanoff’s refusal to say anything about why she had to stay.

“Nothing,” Coulson shrugged, “we don’t have anything there.”

“But then why-“

“There is an open portal,” Loki interrupted and saw Romanoff shoot him a dark look.

“It’s a trap,” she stated plainly and the others turned to her, but she refused to elaborate.

Coulson grimaced, “We still need-“

“Yeah, on it,” Stark finally spoke up, his voice tight with emotion and Loki smiled inwardly. When Stark had rattled off the list of those he had angered before surprising him with a quick attack in New York City, he had sounded calmed and controlled, but he had known that the man of iron had been anything but. It seemed he had taken the supposed death of the son of Coul the hardest, and while he did not know what bound the two together, it had proven to him that Stark true nature was buried under the façade he fought so hard to keep up.

He brushed past all of them before glancing over to Banner, “You’ll be able to handle the calculations right? I’ll hack into Green Bank and at least try to point it in the direction.”

“Yeah, sure,” Banner grimaced bracingly, “just…”

Stark snorted and waved his armored hand to dismiss his concern before walking out, Coulson giving Romanoff one last look before following the man of iron. Loki watched as the door slid close before noting that Romanoff was chewing her lower lip, clearly unhappy with the turn of events. He could clearly tell, especially by her body language which he knew was half a ploy, half unfeigned, that she wanted to go and had not wanted to deny Coulson his request.

“He’s a good friend,” she said without looking at him before crossing her arms and leaning against a table and stared at nothing in particular.

“Your attempts to feign guilt and make me feel sorry are sorely lacking,” Loki replied a bit dryly. He really had no intention of going anywhere near an open portal, not even with this one in this city called Montreal open.

“I’m not,” Romanoff replied before turning her head to look at Banner who blinked in return, wondering what she was staring at. Loki also looked between the two, wondering what she was getting at before he realized what she intended to do.

He shook his head. If there was a choice between her leaving him with Banner whom seemed to turn a shade of light green each time they were near each other, to facing the Chitauri and an open portal, he would choose an open portal. Plus, Banner did not _know_ him well enough and that fear, the deep seeded fear within, was starting to bloom within him.

He gritted his teeth…the puny mortals, or at least in Romanoff’s case, were far more manipulative than he had imagined. But, there was still a chance he could salvage this and make it so that he was the one in control of the situation. “The man of iron will not know what to directly look for and could be hunting for the portal all day long,” Loki squared his shoulders and marched towards the closed door which promptly slid open. He glanced back to see Romanoff trying hard to hide the smile of triumph on her face and narrowed his eyes as she met his gaze. He knew what she was playing at, but she only returned his look with an arched eyebrow of her own. A part of him was pleased that she was much more of a challenger than Lady Sif.

“Good luck…?” Banner called after them as Loki left the room and headed towards the hanger bay with Romanoff following next to him.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Coulson was meant to be a background character in this story, but he ended up worming his way to the forefront…and nearly unseating Banner and Black Widow while vying for top spot with Stark and Loki. I really need to reign in those two…

 


	13. Chapter 13

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 13_

 

To say Stark was surprised to see them walking up the ramp of the quinjet was an understatement at the very least. The son of Coul, however, was another story and Loki caught the quick smile that he shared with Romanoff and a part of him resisted the urge to blast the two of them into ash with fireballs. They thought they could manipulate him into coming, or at least allow Romanoff to come was irritating at best for Loki. He decided to channel that irritation at the fact that it was a trap set by Thanos and he was willingly springing it, so by all reasoning, it was not so much of a trap as it was a chance for Loki to tell Thanos he would not be cowed so easily.

He sat himself in one of the seats of the quinjet and crossed his arms and closed his eyes as he felt the swooping sensation once more before the slight acceleration of the quinjet flying away from the Helicarrier. He could hear Romanoff talking from the cockpit, having seated herself in the chair across from the pilot’s seat. The creaking metal across from indicated that Stark, dressed in his battlesuit had also sat himself down, while the shifting of cloth and something dense to his left told him that Coulson had done the same.

“ETA, er, estimated time of arrival, is forty-five minutes,” Coulson said, “we don’t know the full situation yet, but from what the Royal Mounted Police Force has been saying and flybys by the Canadian Air Force and U.S. military, it’s pretty bad. They’re currently confined to St. Helen’s Island and part of the Gilles Villenueve racetrack, but there’s a lot of tourists there.”

“And its race weekend too,” Stark frowned, “the Formula 1 race is in two days.”

“There’s a medical support team that’s flying out with us in the other jet to help evacuate civilians. Fury’s already made it clear to the military that our priority is not containment, but rather the portal itself,” Loki heard Coulson’s voice rise in volume and knew the other man had turned to face him, but he made no movement to indicate that he was listening. He did not owe these pesky mortals. If anything, he just wanted to get his part of the geas-contract done and go back to Asgard. Whether Asgard was considered home or not – it still was not in his opinion – it was still perhaps the safest place where he could easily regroup and recover.

“Stark?” Coulson’s voice lowered and he heard the shift of cloth and an unknown dense material.

“Jarvis is already running the hacking programs. Any way we can call down to Green Bank to see if there is anyone left to help override the security protocols?” Stark called out towards the direction of the cockpit.

“Probably not. Current chatter indicates that they’re having a bit of a hard time keeping the Chitauri contained. Unknown progress on civilian evacuations there,” Romanoff turned her head to call back.

Loki could hear the strain in Romanoff’s voice and imagined that the others in the quinjet were also disturbed by the news. He suspected that Romanoff was wondering about Barton and smiled inwardly. The mortal woman was certainly an interesting enigma – having claimed that there was no romantic attachment to Barton, yet at the same time having an unwavering loyalty to the man who had saved her in São Paulo. From what he had picked out of Barton’s brain about this São Paulo mission, it had been a bloodbath and even those in SHIELD who had survived were utterly traumatized to the point where they had to see mind healers. But not Romanoff…not the instigator of the bloodbath.

She instead, had almost killed herself after Barton had refused to kill her on her request and his orders. Instead, the two became mind healers of their own to each other; at least that was what he had concluded. What came out of that was a unique bond that even he knew was not quite love in the romantic sense, but more borne out of a sense of doomed companionship. Hardly tragic, yet darkly amusing.

“So why is Thanos releasing the Chitauri in Montreal?” Stark asked and Loki kept his eyes closed, but knew that the question was directed at him. He made no move to answer and after a few seconds could literally feel the frustration rolling off of the man of iron. By contrast, Coulson, who was sitting next to him, seemed content and did not ask questions of his own, his indifferent countenance somewhat puzzling to Loki.

He would have thought that the other man would have been angry, much like Barton had been, but for different reasons. Surely a brush with death, or even clinical death, would have made revival something sweet and would have at least had some focus on revenge for the killer. But Coulson did not exude this feeling and Loki wondered why…before it occurred to him that Coulson perhaps saw himself either above all of it, or Loki utterly below his notice. That in of itself made a small frown appear on his face. He knew he could jump to the conclusion that Coulson was arrogant and such arrogance in the face of a King would have been punished, but at the same time, it roused some curiosity within him.

Of all of the mortals he had encountered, it was only the one he had stabbed and thought he had killed – had even been dead – was the only one not to really show an opinion of him. Fury, the Avengers, even Romanoff, everyone he had encountered he knew where they stood in relation to himself, but Coulson…Coulson was an enigma.

“Something wrong with the question?” Stark had seen his frown and had taken it as something of an answer, but Loki turned the frown into a smile as he kept his eyes closed and shook his head. He would puzzle out the mystery of the son of Coul later.

“That is the wrong question,” he replied quietly.

There was silence for a moment until Coulson spoke up, shifting in his seat.

“If Thanos can make portals, why doesn’t he make one to Asgard?” and Loki smiled.

“That is still the wrong question, but you mortals would not know of Asgard’s power,” he said, keeping his eyes closed, but he heard a metallic grind and knew that he had gotten Stark’s attention, “nothing is stopping Thanos from as you call it ‘making’ a portal into Asgard.”

“The word games are getting old, Dancer,” Stark started, but was cut off by Coulson judging by the quick rustle of cloth he heard on his left.

“Nothing is stopping him except he would have to face the brunt of Asgard’s warriors,” Loki continued, “even a being like himself would see the foolishness in such a frontal attack.”

“So why can’t he get into the Vault?” Coulson asked.

Loki smiled briefly, “That is the right question. Because to travel by portal, one must already be familiar with the surroundings. Otherwise, Yggdrasil’s roots are a place of shadows…” Shadows, darkness, a never ending blackness that consumed all and everything whole; a pitch black murky space that he could fall forever, screaming- He had been _thrown_ , he had fallen from the Bifrost-

“So he knows Montreal? Knows Green Bank?” Stark mused before he heard a metallic sound, “no, we’ve established Green Bank has the glowstick of destiny, so…that leaves Montreal. How the hell does he know Montreal, or for that matter Stuttgart…” He heard the man of iron trail off and knew that he had figured it out. The question now became what would he do with the information…

“It’s…you,” Stark’s voice sounded angry, yet at the same time, utterly flat. Loki finally opened his eyes to see the man of iron staring at him with an indiscernible expression on his face. “But…”

“The underground facilities we had used to initially house the Tesseract were in Montreal,” Loki knew that Stark wanted to understand _why_ , but he was not inclined to give him that answer nor did he feel obligated to. Let the man of iron stew or even shout at him to explain himself. The fact that he had put together that it was he who had given Thanos the information was damning enough, but not for him. There was nothing they could do to him before or after the geas was fulfilled. Before, the geas-contract afforded him protection, in the aftermath; he would already be back in Asgard before the mortals could carry out their justice upon him.

“I’ll be sure to let Fury know so he can send a team in,” Coulson replied mildly next to him and Loki graced him with a slightly toothy smile.

“Coulson, aren’t you even-“

“Not really,” the ordinary mortal looked at Stark and Loki could still see that the man of iron was avoiding his gaze, as if he could not bear to see him. He wondered what was the history between the two, having not ferreted the details out of Barton while he had been under his control, but it seemed that Stark was perhaps having a lot more trouble dealing with Coulson alive. He wondered if Coulson’s apparent demise and resurrection meant something to the man of iron? It certainly seemed so as he had named almost everyone in the Avengers but himself while hovering in the sky above New York City.

“Seems to me that the Allfather wasn’t too concerned about this, so I think I’ll defer to his judgment for now,” Coulson shrugged and Loki frowned. He opened his mouth to protest, that Coulson was wrong about all of this, that the Allfather had promised- Before he closed his mouth and shot him a dark look instead. He had almost, _almost_ fallen for the oldest trick in the book in terms of manipulation. And even he himself had thought he was immune to such trickery.

The look he received from Coulson was one of a mild, indifferent gaze, but underneath that, Loki knew that this man was like Romanoff, perhaps, no not perhaps, _definitely_ much better than Romanoff’s attempts to wheedle information out of him. Coulson was a master manipulator and Loki finally understood why he was so valuable to Fury and why his…charm had befriended and even bewitched the other Avengers who had mourned him – especially Stark. Ordinary, unassuming, even friendliness that he knew was not imitated, he was… _Like me except_ -

Loki quashed that thought very quickly as he turned his gaze away and stared at a point near the entrance to the cockpit. It made sense now, the rage, the underlying frustration he himself had felt when the son of Coul had appeared with his gun and told him that he had lacked conviction. Those simple words spoken by any other person, even the Allfather or Thor would have garnered a different response, yet Loki, who had never even met Coulson before he had ended him soon after, had felt riled by that calming voice, the voice that knew all, and was all. _His_ very own voice.

Loki wondered if he could somehow access this man’s history – to find out about his father, mother, any siblings, anything at all. But on the same level, he really did not want to know, did not even _care_. Coulson was just one man, come back to life, and thus a mortal. He gritted his teeth together as he stared at his spot, unwilling to talk anymore to give information to these pathetic mortals who did not know what they were playing with. Thor was an idiot for trying to uplift them, to coddle them and ‘protect’ as he called it. Mortals were pests, short lived and parasitic…and he was only helping them because he wanted to go back to Asgard and this was the fastest solution.

“Heads up, we’re ten minutes from landing,” Romanoff’s voice suddenly called back and out of his eye, he saw her red-hair briefly appear and disappear from his view. “Landing zone is hot, so be prepared to-“

“Let me out at five,” Stark’s voice had become a little metallic and Loki glanced over to see him putting on his helm, the faceplate closing before the blue-slatted eyes of the suit lit up. “I can clear us a zone instead of having you guys crash land.”

“Got it,” Romanoff replied before a swooping sensation filled Loki as he felt the quinjet circled and descended. He looked around as the sudden boom and vibration against metal told him that they were clearly approaching a battlezone. Unbuckling himself from the seat, he stood up, absently grabbing a metal rod sticking out from above his head to hold himself in place as the quinjet swayed. He released the spell that had been giving him the illusion of wearing robes, hearing the familiar and welcomed clink of his own armor as he swayed and adjusted to the quinjet flying through what were probably Chitauri flyers.

A buzzing roaring noise briefly filled the cockpit and Loki knew that it was Romanoff, firing the mini-gun that was attached to the bottom of the jet.

“Stark!” she suddenly called back and Loki grimaced and braced himself as the ramp of the quinjet opened up, the metallic-howls of Chitauri flyers racing by in the air followed by several explosions, suddenly making it very loud in the quinjet.

He saw the man of iron turn and thought he said something, but it was lost amongst the noise and the blankness of his faceplate before he took two steps towards the end of the ramp and flew off with a burst of rockets on his back and feet. As soon as the man of iron was gone, a quick flash of red-gold against the blue-white cloudy skies and dusty browns of buildings, the quinjet ramp started to close up. Silence reigned once more, followed by the occasional firing of the minigun and thumps of impact on the side.

“Here,” Loki did not realize he had been staring at where the man of iron had flew off until Coulson shoved something into his line of vision and blinked, his grip tightening as the quinjet banked for another pass.

In Coulson’s hand was a small object the size of his thumbnail and Loki stared at it for a moment before the ordinary man, dressed in some kind of dark body armor and helm smiled briefly, “It’s an earpiece with the frequency in it. Put it in your ear so you can hear us and we can hear you if you want to tell us anything.”

“I do not need-“

“We’re going to have to coordinate attacks and I think it would be easier if you know that someone is watching your back or giving you a heads up if someone attacks, right?” the son of Coul said and Loki frowned.

When he, Thor, and the Warriors Four did battle, they were in close quarters, able to hear each other, attuned to each other’s needs and weaknesses. Faendral had his bow and while was an excellent shot and could have stayed back with ranged attacks, he much preferred his sword and dueling the enemy. Generals lined up in ranks and formations down the line whenever the Allfather went into battle, and thus were able to relay commands. The Allfather had even shot spells or passed along commands to the other battlemages with familiars…thus there was no need for any type of other communication than what was at hand.

But Loki realized that Coulson had a point – he was working with none of the resources afforded in Asgard and thus, this tiny little thing was his only means of communicating with the others. And judging by the fact that he was the only magic-user around, no one else would be able to spell a familiar he released to direct the flow of battle.

He reluctantly took the earpiece and placed it into his ear, briefly surprised at the snug fit, molding itself to his ear. His hearing was a little dampened on his left side, but he could still hear and immediately heard the slight harsh breath of what had to be Stark followed by the barest grunts from the other man as he flew around them in his suit of armor.

“Got the zone cleared, but not for long!” Stark’s voice suddenly blared into his ear and Loki grimaced a little, startled at the suddenness of his voice, but the sound was not loud enough to deafen or make him uncomfortable.

“You can speak normally as you would like we’re talking with each other here,” Coulson’s voice sounded a little distorted in Loki’s left ear, but he also heard the man through his other ear and nodded.

“Transferring firing controls over,” Romanoff’s voice blared in his ear and he thought he heard the clicking of something before the quinjet set itself onto the ground with a thump. He turned just as he saw her exit the cockpit, and out of the corner of his eye, saw Coulson lifting something large. The mortal man gave him a wan smile as Loki recognized what he was holding…that same gun that had been fired at him when he had made his escape from the Helicarrier.

“I know what it does now,” Coulson gave a sheepish shrug before nodding grimly to Romanoff who pulled out her handguns and was looking at the two of them, her face a mask of cool indifference. “Ready.”

“Ready?” Romanoff turned to him and Loki shrugged before lifting his hands up and letting the bindings that had been holding his wrists together melt away. However, he noted with some amount of dark amusement that neither mortal seemed to be impressed by his theatricality. They had anticipated that he would be able to free himself from his bindings long before he ever did. Which meant that they also knew that he could have walked away from all of this and sit in a corner if he so wished instead of helping them. He knew that they perhaps thought he was being helpful and on some level...nice, but Loki harbored no such illusions – yet at the same time he knew that those types of thoughts from the others towards him would be helpful in the long run. The faster they thought he was helping – even being _nice_ in their opinion – the faster he could get away from them and back to Asgard. He had no intention of actually becoming friends with them, did not even care about that, but he also knew the value of a temporary ally.

That was what they all were to him, allies. Nothing more, nothing less.

Romanoff took his shrug as a positive before slapping a button on one of the walls and the ramp lowered. The first purple bolt fired from a Chitauri staff weapon sent Coulson and Romanoff diving to the sides of the quinjet, but Loki brushed it off with a quickly conjured shield just as the familiar while of a repulsor blast took out the Chitauri that fired the bolt. Its animalistic-metallic shriek was lost amongst the war cry of the others who were recovering from the man of iron's initial attack and were regrouping.

Loki took all of it in as he strolled forward, his hands deflecting the blasts this way and that, sending some into the black asphalt of what looked like a road, but had been cordoned off with weird red-white stripes and concrete barriers. This must be the racetrack Stark had been talking about, even though he knew next to nothing about whatever 'race day' was supposed to happen in two days time. He dared not lash out with his own conjured daggers, keeping his magic in check as he blocked two blasts that took a Chitauri in the navel and head, sending the creature spinning into the air. The alien's staff fell from limp hands and Loki reached out to grab it before he finally ducked behind one of the concrete barriers as the Chitauri finished regrouping and swarmed.

He was still not rested in what seemed to be a couple of hours since he had arrived on the Helicarrier from Stuttgart. Exhaustion tugged at the edges of his senses, but Loki brushed it away, the adrenaline and hyper-awareness of battle filling him. His vision was suddenly obscured by a giant white-hot blast of destruction followed by the all-too-familiar metallic roar of Coulson's Destroyer-created weapon before a score of Chitauri that had been advancing towards his position were wiped out. Loki saw Coulson behind a barrier near the quinjet, take a quick look around before ducking back down as several more Chitauri took the place of the ones killed, firing at his direction.

“Loki, where's the portal?!” Romanoff half-shouted and he saw her firing her guns from another barrier a little to his right, Stark flying overhead taking out whatever Chitauri were getting too close for his comfort.

Loki peered out quickly and tried to see if there were any obvious sign of the portal nearby as far as he could see – like the half-of-a-Chitauri sticking out in Stuttgart had revealed – but there was nothing so obvious. He ducked back behind the barrier he had propped himself against as several purple bolts lanced towards him, peppering the ground with flying bits of dirt and gravel. He fired back with his borrowed staff, keeping the snarls at bay and even heard the metallic howl of scoring a hit to his dark amusement. While he was accurate to a point with his daggers and when fighting with his glaive, he was usually a poor shot when it was to lay down suppressing fire. That was more Hogun and Faendral’s area of expertise, and the mortal equivalent of Barton’s skill with his composite bow.

“I’m not seeing anything resembling fugly purple bleeding aliens coming out of the middle of nowhere, but they are confined to the track area,” Stark pointed out helpfully in Loki’s ear, his voice tinned and slightly modulated.

Loki glanced up to see Coulson pop his head out once more and fire two short blasts from his Destroyer-made weapon before shouting something he did not hear in his earpiece. He supposed that the other man was talking to someone else and peered out once more from his own spot. He could see the water’s edge from where he was on the racetrack and from his vantage point, could see another land mass connected by bridges which meant that he only have to cast his senses out a short radius judging by the information Stark had provided.

He retreated back as a close blast hit the concrete barrier near his face, but ignored the stinging pelts of debris hitting his face, some cutting shallow wounds. Loki reached out within himself and cast out his senses, searching…there! He snapped open his eyes and fired several bolts from the borrowed staff towards where he had sensed the traces of the portal and saw the purple bolts disappear within.

“Over there,” he said and saw Romanoff, Stark, and Coulson react to his words, turning towards where he had fired the bolts.

“Got it,” Stark said tightly and he looked up to see the man of iron fly higher, avoiding blasts from the Chitauri who were clearly more concerned about him than the ground forces. Another metallic grinding sound from Coulson’s weapon destroyed three more Chitauri, disintegrating them right near Loki before the other man turned his weapon towards those creeping up on Romanoff as she fired several bullets.

“Bruce, as soon as-“

“Yeah, a few more seconds,” Loki managed to tamp down on his surprise at hearing Banner’s voice over the earpiece, but quickly surmised that this radio frequency thing was perhaps connected further than he had thought possible.

“And…” Stark fired two repulsor blasts, blowing the heads off of two Chitauri, “now!”

“I…it’s not reading anything!” Banner sounded puzzled.

“You sure?” Stark replied, “I’m getting hints of soft x-rays and some gamma radiation, but it’s fluctuating wildly. I mean, interference from the Chitauri- is that…” Stark’s words descended into a slightly unintelligible muttering and Loki frowned. Surely the scanner that was at Green Bank that he supposed Stark had successfully hacked into was reading the portal…

He grimaced as he felt something squeeze his heart and let out a barely-audible gasp. He was doing it…he was _helping_ them geas-contract be damned-

“Try this,” he forced himself to ignore the pain that was starting to build around his heart and chest area and fired a spell towards where the portal was located, tearing apart several limbs along its trajectory path.

“Holy what the hell-“

“I got definite readings on that one, but then it suddenly disappeared-“

“Loki! Behind you!”

Loki reacted without thinking even as he felt the near-passage of Romanoff’s bullets impact the soft necks of the Chitauri that screamed their rage next to him and brought up his staff in a sweeping arc, catching one who was already falling to the ground dead in the side of the head. The force of his blow snapped the helm off of the alien’s face, whipping it into another’s gut before he threw a dagger deep into him, felling him. He quickly conjured up a shield and deflected several more bolts as he weaved and ducked from his sudden exposure on the battlefield.

“Coulson-“

Loki turned and without even thinking, threw two more daggers towards the Chitauri that had flanked him and Coulson, felling two as Coulson brought his gun to bear and disintegrated several more. They had been unnoticed and Loki spread his senses out and to his surprise and tiny sliver of fear, noted that these Chitauri had been _cloaked_. Unseen by anyone’s eyes until they were nearly upon them.

“What the hell Loki-“ Stark suddenly landed in front of Loki and blasted away the flanking Chitauri before turning towards him, the blue-eyes of his helm burning in anger.

“Stark it’s not his fault-“

“The hell it is!” Stark bit back and absently back-handed a Chitauri that was definitely mortally wounded, but still attempting to attack.

Loki quickly cast the spell out again and felt it this time… He frowned as he whirled and cleaved a Chitauri in half, pulling the blade out and stabbing it in the gut of another. He counter-weighted the body lying on the end of his staff and threw it towards three more, knocking them down where they were promptly disintegrated by Coulson and his gun. He raised his hand and blocked a bolt, sending it into the ground before shaking his head, feeling the pain in his chest die a little as he realized what was happening.

How could he had not seen it before…and realized that it had become a little complacent in his own abilities. The constant presence and sensing of the barrier that prevented Heimdall from seeing or even using the Bifrost had all but been ignored once he realized it was there. He had mentally filed it away to become attuned to _when_ the barrier was gone, not for any other instances of it being still up…

Damn him. Damn him and his…damn this exhaustion! Damn everything! He had no one to blame but himself in this matter – too easy to cast blame on the others. But he also knew he could blame one other being…Thanos.

“It’s shielded,” he was annoyed that he had not caught it earlier and quickly put together the same spell he had used to break the barrier open for a moment for Heimdall to pick up Lady Sif and Faendral from Jotuheim.

“Shielded? What-“

Loki ignored whatever else Stark was saying as he splayed his hand forward towards the portal and released the spell. He could feel the crackle of energy meet his own as he distantly heard Coulson, Romanoff, and Stark fire their guns and repulsor blasts around him, trying to create a perimeter of sorts. The corner of his lips turned upward as he felt the barrier around the portal break-

“I got it!” Banner’s excited voice blared over the earpiece, “Lots of gamma and x-ray readings along with other types- wait!”

At the same time Loki double over as he thought something slammed into his gut the barrier slam back in place. He cursed silently as he stumbled and regained his footing, barely missing the passage of a bolt that was fired over his head and retaliated with a conjured fiery dagger that pierced the Chitauri that shot at him. He hissed as another bolt took him in the shoulder and angrily threw an ice spike at the Chitauri, impaling it. He could feel the ragged edges of weariness pulling at him now, having used his magic to try to force the barrier open, draining him a lot more rapidly than the conserving spells he had been using.

“Loki-“

“I need to get closer,” he growled out as he cut Romanoff off. Close to the barrier, he would be able to physically and forcibly open it so that Banner could get the readings he needed and at the same time close it without having to resort to other methods. But he also knew that there was a giant risk involved…especially if what Thor had said was true while he had been in the Helicarrier’s cell.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea-“

“Wait, what’s going on-“

“You’re not getting off that easy-“

“Stark, he’s given his word-“

Loki ignored everyone including Banner who sounded confused over the earpiece as he dashed forward, sweeping his hand out and sending forth several conjured illusions of himself running in different directions before he ran towards the portal.

Some of the Chitauri chattered amongst themselves as they chased after the illusions while others fired towards him, but he deflected the bolts easily and made sure his illusions did the same as he heard the others scramble behind him.

“He’s going to escape-“

“He’s not,” he heard Romanoff say behind him, but resolutely ignored her words, even if they were in his defense to Stark’s anger. He did not need her charity and knew that it was borne out of whatever Thor had said to Romanoff before leaving him under her watch.

“We need to hold out, the others are on their way,” Coulson’s calming voice cut through the chatter and Loki pursed his lips. He wanted this to be done as soon as possible…let Thor and the rest of the Avengers arriving soon save the day and be the lauded heroes they were to the brainless mortals. He did not admit that he was grateful to hear that the rest of the so-called Avengers were done with Green Bank, but he was relieved to hear that they at least would not to so hard-pressed to keep the Chitauri from swarming everywhere.

He did not need to look back at the others as he zig-zagged his way towards the portal to know that they were having a tough time defending their spot while also trying to cover him. The man of iron already had scorch marks on his battlesuit and several components were sparking electricity while Coulson’s dark vest was smoking in some places and the man had some shallow cuts along his face from the debris kicked up when bolts impacted near him. Romanoff looked the same, her sleek body armor scorched, but nonetheless she was perhaps the hale and healthiest amongst them.

Loki ducked and rolled under the flying body of one Chitauri that was taken out by a short blast from the Destroyer-weapon, the bits of pieces of dirt and hard stone biting into him and aggravating his injured shoulder as he half-crawled, half scrambled towards the open portal and immediately conjured up a dome-like shield around himself as several Chitauri chattered excitedly and blasted him. He flicked his free hand out and gestured for his illusions to circle around, to try to provide more of a distraction for the Chitauri, but could feel himself straining at the edges of his magic and inwardly shook his head. They would have to do…he would need whatever reserves he had left to break the shielding around the portal in order for Banner to scan.

“Are you still scanning?” he called out.

“Yeah, what’s-“

Loki blew out a breath and raised his arm back. Most of the time, he only need to manipulate the magicks within him to conjure his spells and so forth, brute force not needed, but Loki could already see the skeins within the design of the spell and knew that he would have to apply some brute force. Thanos was certainly a clever bastard; he had to give him that. He plucked the modular he had been modifying within the briefing room aboard the Helicarrier and let its cuboid green form engulf his left hand, balled into a fist. It would be the diamond that broke the unbreakable glass, the point of amplification instead of just having a mere spell within his hand. Feeling the protective barrier encase his fist as well as the spell to break the shielding, he punched, leading with his first two knuckles.

He had no dominant hand, but preferred to do most of his raw spellwork through his left hand and thus used it as his leading edge. He could feel the shielding shatter and held his fist in the middle of it, pushing the spell outwards as he slowly forced his palm open much like he had done the same on Jotunheim.

The crackle of energy sent the hairs underneath the layers of armor he wore rising as he gritted his teeth and pushed against the shielding-“

“I’m getting it! Hold it there Loki! Hold it!”

_YouwillonlyknowpainandIwillenjoyyoursufferingforeternity_

Loki only grunted in response as he concentrated all around him, pulling on the conjured illusions to return to himself and adding more power to his dwindling reserves. He could hear the distant thumps of bolts hitting his shield and knew that it was going to fall soon – but he dared not spare any energy in keeping it up, hoping that the others would be able to keep the Chitauri, who surely had seen him now, off of him.

_YouwillneverhidefrommeasIwillfindyouIwillalwaysfindyou_

To an outsider, it was as if Loki had been enveloped in an unearthly blue glow, the ripples of pure energy coming from the middle of nowhere on the gravel trap of the racetrack, but he was not aware of any of it – focusing his concentration on keeping his shaking fist from closing as he fought against the powerful shield Thanos had cast upon the portal.

_Youshallbemineandshallknowagonyuntilyoubegfordeath_

He thought he heard the roar of Mjolnir, followed by arcs of lightning raining down around him, the smell of ozone and fried electronic flesh, but was not too sure as he kept his focus on the portal. At the same time, a part of him was aware of multiple explosions and cries of death from the Chitauri – the barely-heard sound of arrows flying this way and that-

“I’m getting good readings and you can stop now!”

_Escapeisonlybutanillusionescapenotforyounorforyourpitifulbandofallies_

“Loki close it!”

Loki blinked and pulled himself from the _voices_ as he realized that his hand was shaking and no amount of mental commands could make it stop. He made to close the portal itself-

Only to see a pair of icy, inhuman blue eyes staring back at him from across the voids and shadows of Yggdrasil… Eyes that promised Death…

_Ifoundyou_ …

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I wanted to give a big thank you to those who have alerted, favorited, and even reviewed my story so far. Your words of encouragement and criticism as well as questions regarding plot lines and people’s actions within this story have tickled me immensely.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 14_

 

_Ifoundyou…_

Loki stopped breathing as he felt himself rooted to the very spot he was crouched upon. He could not tear his gaze away from the inhumanly blue eyes, the eyes that promised so much torture, pain, and unknowable agony. It was not fear that rooted him to the spot, but rather an all-consuming terror, the steps beyond fear. Fear was for children, terror was the maturation of that.

How many times had he seen those inhuman blue eyes staring back at him, out of the depth of the darkness, the despair? Clinging to the shadows of Yggdrasil and haunting him at every turn. He had imagined, or had not imagined seeing those very eyes as he had fallen, _had been thrown_ , had floated in the abyss. They were the eyes that gave him such power, the sceptre that he cherished – _I never wanted it!_ – he screamed, his voice hoarse with the untold hours, days, _years_ …

_Loki…_

His name, was it his name or had it all been but an illusion all this time? Something to call him that he was so ragged and downtrodden – _broken...I was so…_ \- he had not broken! That vicious thought sliced through him as he gritted his teeth together, biting his lip to the point where it hurt and he could taste the slight tang of bitter copper, _oh Norns_ …it was the blood. So much of it. They had stitched – no, they _will_ stitch – had they not? They had not yet…but the blood…his lips…sealed. Against-there was laughter – _am I going to die? Am I going mad?_ – who was he?

_Ifoundyou…_

It pulled, siphoning something from him, and his skin burned – no it was not his skin, only his imagination – or was it? _I did not break!_ He did not know as he felt like screaming, to give into it, but he clung onto the shreds of that siphon, knowing somehow, to do so was to give in and he would never – _I will never bow!_ – he shouted, yelled, he tried-

_Runrunrunrunrunrunneverlookback_

A gasp echoed in his ears as he realized it was his own – sickly, like a dying wounded trapped animal that could not move. That was what he was – _I am NOT an animal!_ – he roared to the heavens, but no one could hear him. The Norns, had decried his fate and he was to be the sacrifice on the altar for him – _used_ – thrown away, tossed aside like the wastrel he was, unloved. _I was never loved_. A pawn, a mere hapless pawn with no fortune, nothing to be gained, nothing…everything was lost. _No! Not everything! I cannot-_

_Loki!_

Oh, they had dug his eye out did they not? Hung him from the wall like a piece of decorative art, entrails of those he loved and hated so much, a son he had not had hanging over his head. _She…she would have loved it. She would have laughed and it would have been pleasurable._ – _No!_ _Pl-…_ \- he refused to beg. He would _not_ beg. He would not… He coughed, choked, his breath hitched as his heart beat unsteadily, the panic rising within him. To beg was to…to beg-

“ _LOKI!_ ”

The unyielding abyss of inky darkness, maw of _nothing_ that showed only two pinpricks of inhuman blue eyes was suddenly ripped from his vision as the colorful bright red-silvery-blue hues of armor, metal, cool, infinite _Asgardian_ – _home_ – metal slammed into him and he felt himself knocked to the ground, tumbling away – _yes away!_ \- from the abyss.

It took Loki only another second to regain his senses as he slammed into the hard compact gravel, the tiny stones digging into the skin of his face. He spluttered, blowing out a mouthful of bitter dusty stone that he had accidentally inhaled as he stopped rolling and laid in a heap. His breath came in harsh gasps, a wheezing, winded sound filling his own ears for another second before an animalistic metallic roar made him snap his eyes open that he did not know he had closed.

He reacted without thinking and conjured up a wicked looking dagger, the sudden surge of furious anger filling him and rolled to his side, plunging the blade into the thigh of an incoming Chitauri. He snarled as he dragged the blade up the thigh, purple alien blood spurting into his face as he stood up and finally ripped it out of the alien’s carapace near where it’s liver would have been. Loki blasted it away with a wave of his hand before looking around, his eyes wide, wild, almost untamed as assessed the battlefield. The hum of magicks tingled at his hand and he looked down, wondering what this useless green cuboid-

_YouWILLNEVERbefreeyouwillbeMINE!_

Mjolnir roared, seemingly right next to his ear, and Loki was startled out of his sudden _infinite_ fury as he saw a bolt of lightning sear an almost horizontal line and disappear – the portal! He stumbled back a step as the sudden terror – _fear_ – rose up within him and he dropped the bloodied dagger, the wicked blade disappearing even before it hit the ground. He backed up a step as he thought he heard a resounding howl of defiant anger, of frustrated rage for prey that had successfully been snatched from underneath, echo from within the portal, its pitch-black darkness never relenting _silence_ -

Then, just as suddenly, he _felt_ the portal disappear, sealed, but not from this side, but rather by _his_ hand – from the other side. Mjolnir roared again, but this time, its trajectory did not disappear into the portal, but rather went through where it used to be and hit nothing. It was also then that he realized his ear was buzzing with sounds that seemed like bilgesnipes ready to charge and attack. He absently lifted his hand up and ripped out the earpiece, vaguely recognizing it for what it was and dropped it onto the gravel pit he had been standing in.

“Loki!” Thor’s familiar voice made him spin in time to see him stomping his way towards him, Mjolnir crackling in his hand and he shook his head in warning, glaring at Thor who all but stopped in front of him. “Loki-“

“Don’t,” he held up a hand, cutting Thor off, “just, don’t.”

“Broth-“

“I am _done_ with this,” Loki sucked in a quick breath before brushing past Thor, throwing a hand up to stop a stray bolt fired from one of the Chitauri from hitting him as he focused on the only thing that mattered now.

Peripherally, he took in the utter devastation, blasted chunks of concrete and black asphalt littering what used to be a pristine race track. Trees toppled this way and that, gravel sprayed everywhere along with metal fencing and plastic. Gouges deformed the concrete barriers and patches of fire ignited under grass that had yet to be scorched. Black smoke rose in the air and the wind blew some in different directions as yells and cries filled the air, civilian, military, Avengers, even the Chitauri. But Loki paid them no heed as he walked past the carnage, past the battle that was still going on.

He was done.

He heard the others call his name, but ignored them as he made his way towards the quinjet, still sitting where it had landed. Another sat near it and he saw a couple of SHIELD personnel swarming the open ramp of the one the rest of the Avengers must have taken from Green Bank. The inorganic roar of Coulson’s Destroyer-based weapon echoed across the battlefield mingled with the death cries of the Chitauri and he thought he heard the pitter-patter of gunfire from Romanoff’s handguns, but all of it was meaningless as he strolled up the ramp and promptly sat himself down in one of the jump seats.

“…Loki,” he ignored Thor’s presence as the blond-haired warrior tentatively walked up the ramp, stopping halfway up. He could sense that he was being watched and finally met his brother’s eyes only to frown at the _pity_ in them.

“I do not need your pity-“

“I saw what happened,” Thor cut him off and just like that, Loki saw shutters seemingly close over Thor’s expression, wiping away the pity and leaving only the eeriness of the Allfather’s all-seeing gaze upon Thor. _Like father, like son_ , he thought with some interest. The other thought was when did Thor ever, _ever_ , act like the Allfather? Surely it had not been since his return from Midgard, though he realized that there were times during his invasion of Earth with the Chitauri, Thor seemed to display some of the Allfather’s mannerisms. But that was frivolous and utterly nonsensical on his part.

“Was that him? Was that Thanos?”

Loki turned away from Thor and stared at nothing in particular. He did not owe any explanation, nor insight into what had happened. Let Thor speculate all he wanted, it would just ask for more questions and provide even more of a headache for him in the long run. Thor would never understand, nor would anyone, except perhaps the Allfather, but that was because he promised – _he is breaking his promise!_ – like so many other promises broken because he was-

He tried to suppress the twitching shudder that ran through him as he rested his elbows on his knees and hunched forward, lacing his fingers together. He wished there was a way for him to silence Thor, to take away the power of his voice in and effort to stem the tide of incessant questions he knew was to come. But there was no way for him, the heaviness of magical exhaustion settling into his skin, into his very being, like it had been drained, _ripped_ from him. It was perhaps the grace of the Norns that his walk from where the portal was to the quinjet was unhindered by any enterprising Chitauri.

Or not…as he shot a look at Mjolnir, still resting loosely in Thor’s hand. The hammer crackled with recently discharged energy and blood along with bits and pieces of alien flesh caked the sides of the hammer… But who was he to give Thor credit for killing the Chitauri.

The silence that followed the wake of Thor’s questions might have seemed oppressive, but Loki bathed in it, letting the distant sounds of the battle, seemingly coming to a close as the sounds of mortal weapons seemingly overpowered the waning sounds of Chitauri animal-metallic weaponry, roll over him. It was better than hearing that incessant…whisper…voice, the void speaking the tongues that only he could hear. He could feel the weight of Thor’s stare upon him and resigned himself to just holding onto the silence a little longer before Thor would ask his questions-

-and blinked in surprise as Thor promptly took two steps and sat down next to him with a heavy thump. Mjolnir crackled a little as it was set down and Loki found his gaze drawn towards its bloody visage, his eyes slowly tracing the familiar runes. He remembered the first time the Allfather had presented Thor with his signature weapon and he had to admit, he was jealous that Thor had been presented with such a mighty gift for only saving several of Queen Frigga’s courtiers from several fire demons.

He and the rest of the Warriors Three as well as Lady Sif had only escaped with their lives, badly burned and confined to the Healers while Thor had but only a scratch upon him. It was not his fault that he could not spring the earth-trap set to pen the fire demons in a confined area, and Thor had to used his innate strength to dig the jagged rocks up himself.

He remembered the feast that had been held in Thor’s honor afterwards, Mjolnir set in between them on the long table in display. He had tried to reach out and touch it, but the sudden spark of electricity had startled him and had made everyone laugh at him and Thor to crack about how Mjolnir knew who his master was. He had only smiled wanly before contenting himself with staring at the intricate runes inscribed upon the hammer – researching their meaning afterwards in the privacy of the library.

The Allfather had spelled it even more so that those who wielded the power of Thor would be able to use Mjolnir, something he had tried in his vain attempt to lift it from the confines of Midgard. He had a sliver of hope that he would have been able to wield Mjolnir, just as effectively as Thor had, but had been proven wrong in the rain-soaked pit. Mjolnir knew its master and would be forever loyal…and thus he would never be equal to Thor.

But equality was not what he strived for now…he was a King once, should have been, where Thor was only a Crown Prince. A decidedly _silent_ Crown Prince at the moment, and something that surprised Loki-

“Thanos searches for you,” Thor rumbled next to him.

-and just like that Thor proved himself as incompetent as ever, as he shook his head inwardly. For once, could Thor just shut up and let him bathe in the silence? Did he have to fill the stillness with his inane words? But he knew his silent questions were always to be answered with a negative. Thor was boisterous, loud, and did not know the meaning of subtly nor of the peacefulness of silence. He never appreciated it and never understood it.

There was the shadow of movement and the corner of Loki’s eyes caught Thor taking out his earpiece, holding the small thing in the palm of his hand. He was mildly surprised at how gentle Thor was holding the thing, knowing that he could have easily crushed it in his efforts. He wasn’t so kind to his own earpiece, having left it half crushed amongst the rubble of the battlefield.

“We shall have more privacy now,” Thor murmured and Loki turned his head away, wanting nothing more than to get up and move over several seats to let himself rest without having Thor next to him, but he literally felt too weary to move.

There had only been a handful of times Loki had ever felt this magically exhausted; deadened limbs that took some effort for him to move, his eyes heavy and sleep pressing heavily down upon him. But he dared not sleep, not with Thor near him, not with the Avengers around, not with so many…untrustworthy people around, even though he supposed a case could be made for them to be his allies.

“Loki…” Thor sounded hesitant and he rolled his eyes in exasperation, hoping that it was not some soft sentiment that was to follow, but knew that it was the likely case. He supposed that Thor would end up proclaiming that he had nothing to fear, that he would help him defeat Thanos for him to rest and save his strength-

“…you came to Montreal even though you knew it was a trap,” Thor finished and Loki pursed his lips together.

He knew his brother wanted an explanation, an understanding of why he had done so. Romanoff was right, it was a trap and even he knew it when he boarded the quinjet. He had initially told himself it was because they were to get readings and because he was ignoring Romanoff’s half-pleading looks to help Coulson and Stark, but then again, why would Romanoff say one thing and then not-quite-literally ask him to walk straight into that trap.

“Thanos is searching for you and I know you are not prepared to face him so…” Thor trailed off again and Loki could hear the unspoken ‘why’ hovering on his lips, but deigned to ignore it, turning his head this time to stare at the closed cockpit door of the quinjet.

His brother shifted a little in his seat, the creaking of armor plates hitting one another, “I hardly do not think that this geas-contract was worth it-“

“Then you do not know anything about geas-contracts,” Loki finally spit out, unable to ignore the utter ignorance in Thor’s tone. _How dare he_ …

“It was not worth your life!” Thor shot back and Loki turned his head to meet the Thunder God’s sharp look and was taken aback at the sheer _sentimentality_ , the sheer _love_ , brotherly, familial _love_ within them and his lips curled in disgust. _That_ was not what he wanted to see and was utterly appalled at the sheer nakedness of it. How could-

“And _what_ , would you know about my life?!” he growled out, anger filling him once more. How could Thor be so concerned about _his_ life when he never paid it much attention in the first place?! “The life of living in your shadow, living in the Allfather’s shadow and waiting, just _waiting_ , for the moment where I could be acknowledged-“

“Is that what you want?! To have people see you for what you are?” Thor thundered back and for just a split second, Loki was taken aback at the sheer fight in those words. That was not how he-Thor would attempt placate him- He shook his head and returned the challenge he had seen in Thor’s eyes.

“See me as a monster?” he laughed mirthlessly at the hurt that appeared in Thor’s eyes, the sudden shrinking of fight in light of his words, “I am a monster Thor, and everyone, _everyone_ , knows that. My _life_ , as you are so concerned with is neither for anyone to pity nor for anyone to toy with. Your concern for it is nothing but sentiment borne out of your attempts at reconciliation where there is none!”

Silence reigned in the bay of the quinjet, punctuated by the fading sounds of battle, and for a moment Loki thought that the conversation was at an end and he could at least bathe in the silence once more until Thor pinned him in place with a glare much like the Allfather.

“My _concern_ , for you, brother,” Thor started quietly, but the undercurrent of thunderous anger behind those words prevented him from even speaking a single word of protest, “my concern is not only for you, but for the fact that you are a comrade-in-arms. You are my best friend and you are my brother whether you wish to deny it or not. Even if we were not related by blood, we are brothers. Call it brother-in-arms, call it whatever you want, but you cannot, you _will not_ deny the hundreds of years we have grown up together, nearly thousand years we have fought side by side.

“I will not readily abandon you even if you have already abandoned all of us. You think yourself alone in this fight, then you are sorely mistaken. Thanos threatens us all, and not only you. You may have erred wrong with your agreement with him, for that is _my_ opinion, but know this – no matter what I will look out for you. Because that is my concern.”

Loki knew that perhaps in another lifetime, those words would have touched him, would have broken him, and he would have accepted them, but this was not that lifetime. They were words that should have been spoken to him before everything had happened, and he knew it was too late for those platitudes. “Those hundreds of years? I was the shadow to your sun. Never once an acknowledgment and yet now you say these words? What do you hope to gain Thor? What would you-“

“Nothing,” Thor surprised him into silence once more with a measured look, chin raised as he stared down at him. They were nearly equal height when standing or sitting near one another, but in this case, Thor managed to look _down_ at him. “I hope to gain nothing from this.”

“Then what…?” Loki could not believe that there was no ulterior motive for this, nothing for Thor to say that they were family like he had for so long, so incessantly.

“When the time comes for allies, you will know that I will be by your side, no matter what, even if you do not want me so. You…” Thor swallowed hard and Loki found it odd that he wanted to flee, yet at the same time found himself rooted to the spot, fascinated by this steely side of Thor that he had never seen. So much like the Allfather, yet at the same time, he could not help but see his own stubbornness within him. “You have always helped me, Loki…it is time I repay that debt.”

He could not believe what he was hearing, “You think…you think that _you_ have a debt to _me_?! How-“

“Your help may not have always been of the best intentions, but they were help nonetheless,” Thor grimaced a little, “and perhaps I begin to think a little like you when I say that it was your…help, so to speak, that brought my friends and I together in the battles.”

“You’re so very welcomed,” Loki said sarcastically.

“But that does not forgive your actions against the Midgardians,” Thor’s eyes flashed and Loki rolled his. He did not expect anything less after that. “You are…not ready to face Thanos and yet you did so knowing full well that it was a trap.”

“Agent Romanoff I presume?” Loki’s eyebrow twitched with irritation as Thor nodded. There was no doubt that she and Lady Sif were one of the same coin; always telling Thor secrets or things he did not need to know. “I’m sure you can figure out why,” he continued.

“Yes, I understand the need, but at the cost of your own life?!”

This time, Loki stood up and pushed himself away from the seat, grabbing one of the overhead hand-holds to cover up the sudden wave of dizziness and exhaustion that threatened to send his world spinning. “And we are back at square one. I do _not_ need your concern, pity, whatever you wish it to be, for _my_ life.” He glared down at Thor, “ _We are done_.”

With that he stalked off to the other side of the bay a little unsteadily and quickly sat himself down, closing his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest. There was the scuffling movement of cloth and armor plates clinking that told him Thor was preparing to rise and perhaps continue his pointless argument, conversation, reasoning be damned, but then it was interrupted with the metallic clunk of the man of iron’s boots coming up the ramp.

“Well, thanks Dasher for helping out with the cleanup and dragging Zeus here along with you-“

“My brother-“

“Stark, that’s enough,” Coulson’s voice came from the bottom of the ramp before his soft tread walked up the same ramp and Loki heard it shuffle close to him before something metal and heavy was dropped near him followed by clinks of something being locked into place. He cracked open an eye to see Coulson stepping back from the Destroyer-made weapon, looking a little worst for wear, but otherwise relatively healthy.

“Sorry, you’re kind of sitting near where I usually store this thing,” Coulson apologized with a little shrug before giving an amiable smile to Thor who looked like someone had dropped a herd of bligesnipes on his head.

“It is truly you…son of Coul…” the sheer wonderment and joy in Thor’s voice was belied by the engulfing embrace Coulson suddenly found himself wrapped in and the corner of Loki’s lips twitched at the slight discomforting look on the mortal’s face as Thor pounded him, rather gently, on the back.

“Good to see you too,” Coulson managed to choke out before being dropped back on his feet and looked to say more when he canted his head a little, his hand touching his ear, “yes…yes, got it.” He turned to face both Thor and Stark who was still looking a little tense and still could not quite meet Coulson’s gaze, but Loki sensed that the ordinary mortal was also addressing him as well, even if his back was towards him.

“Fury said that there are no more reported portals anywhere, and Banner’s also said that he’s got the necessary readings, but it will take time to calibrate. Also, all civilians and personnel from Green Bank have successfully arrived and are being processed.”

“I am glad for that,” Thor looked relieved, “perhaps I could suggest to Director Fury that the Lady Jane help Dr. Banner with the calibrations?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Coulson nodded, “I’ll call it in when we get into the air.”

“The Canadian military’s cordoned off the majority of the wreckage and they understand that SHIELD will quarantine the area for any Chitauri weaponry. Though I suggest leaving Scout Two here just to make sure they aren’t that enterprising in taking some of the weaponry like the U.S. military did after New York,” Captain America said as he walked up the ramp towards them, followed behind by Romanoff and Barton, the latter of the two adjusting several arrows that had obviously been shot and putting them back in his pack.

Loki grounded his teeth in frustration, wanting nothing more than some relative silence, but it seemed the Avengers thought to gather here. He considered moving to the other quinjet, but the sudden burst of dizziness that came from out of nowhere made him stay as he blinked his eyes rapidly and let it pass before him. He truly was exhausted and had drained most of his magical reserves.

“Got it,” Romanoff turned on her heel to walk back down the ramp to relay orders to whoever Scout Two was and Loki caught her lingering shrewish gaze upon him with a narrowed one of his own before she turned away and continued down the ramp.

“Having a nice nap are we?” Barton suddenly sneered as he adjusted an arrowhead and Loki shook his head before closing his eyes. “Hey don’t ignore-“

“Barton, cool it,” Coulson spoke up again and Loki was surprised at the warning edge in his tone. He heard Barton audibly open and close his mouth, the short protest he was trying to make choking in his mouth. Finally, the archer huffed an angry and frustrated sigh and stomped past all of them. Loki heard the cockpit door screech open with some force before it closed again, and the definitive click of a lock being set in place.

“Scout Two acknowledges,” Romanoff’s voice preceded her light footsteps up the ramp once more and there was a pause as Loki felt her gaze upon him, but did nothing to acknowledge it before she turned and headed further into the quinjet. There was the sound of light knocking followed by, “Open up.” The sound of the door unlocking followed by a light screeching sound told him that Romanoff had disappeared into the cockpit and a few minutes later, the sound of the quinjet starting up followed by the ramp closing told Loki that they were headed back to the Helicarrier.

He braced himself for the swooping feeling as the rotors started up and heard everyone take their seats, Thor’s distinctive metal-armor clink telling him that he had chosen to sit one seat next to him, leaving some space in between them. At least Thor had the decency to realize that he wanted nothing to do with anyone at the moment, but he still made the effort to conjure a small dagger and held it in his hand. Even that sent a wave of dizziness and nausea through him and Loki squeezed his eyes tighter as he let the dizziness pass.

He had thought he had been ready to face Thanos, but he had been proven so woefully wrong. Yet at the same time, it did not humble him, only fed in his anger and indignation at being _shepherded_ , led around on an invisible leash. Thanos would pay for what he had done…but at the same time, Loki could not deny the terror that had gripped him, terror he had tried to tamp down to fear. He was _not_ afraid. Conservation was what was needed now. He knew the tricks Thanos employed, knew what he had to do to counter them and he would be ready next time he thought to strike him. Loki was no one’s to order around, no one’s to pity, no one’s to guide.

He was Loki, the Trickster God, and Thanos would learn the very painful lesson of why.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Mjolnir given to Thor was obviously made up and not related to the mythologies or to the comics. Apologies if anyone is irritated by this. Oh, if you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to portray Thor as reasonable, and while not exactly idiotic on some level, he does understand or at least tries to put two and two together to figure out _how_ to communicate with Loki at the moment. Too bad he keeps going back to square one sometimes…

 


	15. Chapter 15

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 15_

 

The once forty-five minute ride back to the Helicarrier had been shortened to twenty-minutes, the flying SHIELD base having met them half way in order to deploy more resources to Montreal. Everyone, except perhaps Romanoff, Thor, and Coulson was surprised when Loki immediately set off from the quinjet and made a beeline towards his cell, Romanoff following as quickly as she could catch up to him. Fury had almost called the guards to restrain him except for a quick look by Romanoff. They had only learned that Loki had returned to his cell to sleep, of all things.

“So what the hell happened?” Fury asked once the rest of the Avengers, minus Romanoff, had been assembled in the main briefing room, the familiar angled table off to the side of the Helicarrier’s main operations center, far enough from prying ears, but close enough for Agent Hill to relay information to Fury about the clean up in both Montreal and Green Bank.

A small feed had been set up where Fury stood near his command center as well as where Thor sat around the table. It showed the cell Loki occupied, utterly passed out in the small bed, having not even the strength to glamour his armor away like Thor had done. Romanoff occupied the lone chair in the room, sitting on the opposite side of the cell. However, there was no contemplation in her posture or her face as she sat like a silent sentinel within the cell. Fury had offered her the use of the one-way mirror so she did not have to be in the cell, but to everyone except Thor’s surprise, she had refused.

“I…uh, got the readings,” Banner rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably, “so that’s good. Dr. Foster’s currently helping me with the calculations.”

“Yes we know that, it’s going to take several hours until we can readily pick up portal appearances and so forth,” Fury nodded impatiently, “my question is, what the hell happened out there.”

“Sir, Romanoff was right, it was a trap,” Coulson spoke up after a moment of uncomfortable silence. They had all seen it, but some of them had not understood what had happened. To some, it was as if Loki had been enveloped in a bright blue-green glow in his efforts to break open the shielding, his teeth bared in an effort to contain what had to be powerful magicks at bay. Banner had said he was getting readings and when he had said that he had finished receiving all that was needed, that was when things seemingly went wrong.

The Chitauri had always been swarming, but now they had screeched in unison and charged at them blindly, keeping Stark, Coulson, and Romanoff heavily on the defensive. However, none approached Loki to the collective confusion of the others. Coulson had been the first one to notice something was terribly wrong with Loki just by the sheer fact that the Destroyer-based gun he carried was able to cut wide arcs amongst the swarming Chitauri. However, it was only good for that and Romanoff was the next one to see what he had seen.

The blue-green glow had been replaced by a sickly kind of looking…aura was the best word to describe what they had seen. It seemingly held Loki captive, rooted to his spot and something seemed to slowly draw him in, and if one had to really ask, it was as if something was laughing; a horrible, deep-throated laughter that sounded as if Hell itself had opened its mouth up and chuckled. Then…the whispers had started.

Both Coulson and Romanoff did not know if Stark had heard it, having flown into the air in an effort to strike the swarming Chitauri from above, but had been chased around by the flyers, but it was as if the whispers were utterly _terrified_ , a constant pain-filled murmur that would not abate. Both would never admit it, but it made them feel like they were hanging on the edges of an abyss they could not see. Just feeling the sweat-slicked fingers slowly losing their grip on the sandy edge, ready to fall…

Thor and the rest of the Avengers had arrived then, the Thunder God the first one to blaze a trail of lightning that had all but drowned out the voices. It had been a relief, taking out swarms of Chitauri flyers and some Chitauri on the ground, allowing Stark to finally land. However, their relief was short-lived as the Chitauri pressed their attack again, howling in anger and _charged_. They swarmed Thor the most who had blasted them back with copious amounts of lightning and miniature earthquakes before making his way towards Loki, shouting his name the whole time.

But the Trickster God had not responded, still rooted to the spot and Coulson had caught a glimpse of something that had disturbed him – Loki looked like he was staring into the face of Death and had gone mad. No matter what personal grudges he had held against the alien that had summarily killed him and let him bleed out, he still could not fathom such a look upon even his worst nemesis’ face.

Thor had all but obscured that look as he took charge in trying to get towards Loki, only to finally physically toss him away, his efforts in trying to break the shielding his brother had initially put up to ward off the Chitauri reinforced almost to the point where even Mjolnir could not break it. It had to be whatever was in that portal that had reinforced it, Coulson was sure of it – he had seen the shielding flicker against the Chitauri onslaught, even if he was not familiar with magicks or whatever Loki used to protect himself. He was a practical man, but SHIELD tended to ere on the side of caution and believed that anything form of “magic” was advance technology that was yet to be discovered.

It was only in the aftermath of the battle when Stark had gone to confront Loki on why he had not closed the portal when everyone had shouted for him to do so, that he had picked up on the clue that Romanoff had originally said about Montreal being a trap. He had surmised that Loki had perhaps seen Thanos, judging by how closed off the Asgardian was being towards his brother, and how _hurt_ Thor looked, even though it was well-concealed, in trying to tell him that he was there for him. Coulson knew from the files he had read and from his interactions with both Loki and Thor that the two had some major reconciliation issues that stemmed not only from the recent battle fought, but rather perhaps extended long into the past – it was an issue not easily or shortly mended.

“It seems like Thanos was waiting for him at the other side of the portal,” Coulson explained, staring at his superior squarely in his lone eye.

“A door that swings both ways I take it,” Fury muttered and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Barton had jerked a little at the words. Filing the motion and choice of words from Fury away in his mind, he made a note to ask Barton about it later. He and Barton worked together on a lot of missions, deferring sometimes to one another when situations arose and the rest of the SHIELD agents needed a commanding officer to stand in for Fury or Hill. Though Romanoff was officially Barton’s partner in infiltration missions, Coulson knew that she kept more to herself and was less open to anyone, even in a private conversation.

“You said that Thanos was after Loki, right Thor?” Coulson suddenly asked as he furrowed his brow, noting that everyone turned to look at him.

“Yes,” Thor nodded once.

“Why could he not come through the portal himself right then and there? I mean, why send the Chitauri in his place to try to stop us if he’s been hunting Loki the whole time?” he continued and saw Banner’s lips turn down in a contemplative frown.

“I…do not know, son of Coul,” Thor looked distressed as he did not meet his gaze and instead stared down at his monitor feed, “Thanos…Thanos was of an era long before I had been born. The only legends I know of are the stories that parents and guardians tell to children to make sure they behave. I do not know if he is corporeal or even if he is not, especially since he courts Death herself. Perhaps he could only compel Loki through the magicks of the portal that I am not familiar with…I…”

“I think we get it,” Rogers spoke up and Coulson turned his head a little to see the soldier he had idolized for his whole life hold a placating hand up to Thor, “you don’t need to try to explain something you don’t get-“

“I _should_ know!” Thor suddenly said, startling everyone, “he is my brother-this…I am sorry my friends, if I had not insisted on Loki bringing me here then-“

“We would have been overrun by the Chitauri, again,” Barton interrupted his voice hard and angry. “I don’t even care if Loki’s being used by Thanos or whatever, just for the fact that he’s here and Thanos is fucking with us- _what_?!” Barton fell silent as Coulson realized what he was saying as did the others, but it was Thor who broke the silence.

“The Allfather…when he had words with Loki on Jotunheim,” Thor started haltingly, his distaste for airing what was probably dirty laundry to a bunch of non-royal people, mortals even, was evident, “he had mentioned that Thanos wanted him here, on Jotunheim and alluded to the fact that all of this was to lure him from the safety of Asgard.”

“Good, let him stay there,” Barton muttered unkindly next to him and Coulson shot him a quick look for him to shut up. He understood the archer’s feelings regarding Loki and whatever had transpired, but at the moment, his running commentary was not really productive to the meeting at hand.

“So he’s the one really causing all of the Chitauri to spawn here?” Stark asked and threw up his hands, “great! Just…great! First he basically tells Thanos where to spawn them because he and Thanos shared secrets, then he tells him how to open portals!”

“How do you-“ Thor’s head twisted to stare at Stark.

“Stark!” Coulson had hoped that the information would have been kept so that he could have informed Fury on his own recognizance instead of just having it out there for everyone who did not know. He also had a feeling that it was something Loki did not exactly want there and while he wasn’t feeling charitable to the man who all but stabbed him, Coulson did respect the underlying fact that this…portal magick or technology, was very powerful in the sense that any secrets given was also done in a rather reluctant manner.

He had seen Loki’s expression flicker with some relief as he had thought they did not understand his initial explanation of portal magicks, and while it may have been true for Stark and Romanoff’s case, he had instantly grasped it. Coulson had always prided himself on knowledge and the accumulation of knowledge. His eidetic memory was why Fury valued him and why he had risen through SHIELD’s ranks so quickly – besides his somewhat amiable albeit sarcastic persona, at least that was what he like to think some times. It made for working with some of the more…colorful SHIELD agents and consultants a little easier to tolerate. After Thor’s departure from New Mexico, he had read over Dr. Foster’s research and had even had himself assigned to Dr. Selvig’s Tesseract project when the Avengers Initiative was shelved. He had started to re-read the mythologies and lore of magicks based on the Norse stories to perhaps help Selvig and the others in their research.

So he had understood what Loki had meant when he had reluctantly explained the magicks of the portal during their ride to Montreal. And now, it made sense…the whispers, eerie almost death-like whispers of a phantom voice when Thanos had all but attacked Loki through the portal, that whisper was perhaps a reflection of not only Thanos’ desire, but of Loki’s inner need to escape, to run away.

_Runrunrunrunrunrunneverlookback_

“What, Coulson,” Stark stared right back at him and Coulson noted that this was the first time since he had popped into Banner’s lab that Stark had even looked straight at him. It was not hard for him to figure out that Stark had taken his apparent ‘death’ the hardest and he had been touched by the sentiment. In his line of work, SHIELD demanded that sacrifice, of both personal life, and sometimes literally lives, be at the forefront and it was something Coulson always whole heartedly gave. He had tried to have a normal relationship outside with a lovely cellist, but she moved to Portland for a job opportunity and thus their relationship had cooled.

He supposed Stark had saw him as a paragon of a man better than he, but Coulson did not want to tell Stark that he was not to be raised up as such, willing to use and be used by others for a better cause for the utmost safety and peace of the world no matter the costs.

“You were really going to defend…him?” Stark chewed on the words he was about to say at Thor’s raised eyebrow and Coulson knew that it could have been a lot more vicious.

“Defending him or not isn’t my concern,” Coulson shook his head, “I’m just saying we dodged a bullet on this one.”

“And I’m saying just leave him to Thanos and maybe he’ll stop attacking Earth,” Stark shot back acidly, “I mean all of this, the stupid geas-contract or whatever the hell it is, all of it is _his_ fault. He’s the one who created this problem in the first place; he should be the one to own up to his mistakes.”

Everyone, Thor included since Coulson had made sure he had read the packets, knew that Stark was speaking from personal experience. That was why Iron Man had been born, to rectify the mistakes that he had made as an arms dealer, by making sure his own weapons were not used by terrorist groups or by anyone willing to harm innocent civilians. In that respect, Coulson could see Thor weighing his words carefully, but his anger at Stark’s harsh truth was also showing on his face.

“Don’t you start Thor,” Stark shook his head, “you even told us that the Allfather let him go, destroyed those cuffs you had us make over two weeks ago.”

“Stark,” Coulson sighed as he knew he had to interfere before things got ugly. “The truth is-“

“Tony Stark is correct,” Thor suddenly interrupted him and he looked at the burly alien as did everyone. Even Barton looked mildly surprised at the admission. “You are correct Tony Stark. My brother…Loki does deserve whatever misfortune he had brought upon himself and you are correct in thinking that he should not have spread it to Midgard or to any other realm. His foolish actions have caused much grief for all involved.”

“I’m sensing there’s a ‘but’ in there,” Fury tapped his chin with a finger and Thor sighed heavily.

“He is my _brother_ ,” Thor shook his head, “I cannot so readily abandon him when I still see hope for him to come to his senses. If…if it were any one of you who was in his place, then I would do the same. I would…” The blond-haired alien swallowed heavily and Coulson frowned. For all of his boisterous, gentle, even grandiose shows of strength and kindness, Thor, like Loki, was pretty poor at expressing himself. He supposed it was both a product of being an alien and also royalty to boot, having seen the same on some of the royal families who had to explain their actions or misbehaviors.

“I am afraid that all that has been done is to only buy time,” Thor looked pensive and, if Coulson read him right, miserable. He had no siblings himself, but he had always a bit of a fondness for the lower ranking agents like Sitwell, nurturing them in his own way like perhaps a big brother did.

“And you said that if Thanos gets his hands on Loki, all nine realms are doomed, right?” Dr. Banner asked quietly.

“Yes,” Thor nodded once.

“He’s going to use Loki to bypass whatever defenses you have in Asgard and go straight to where the Infinity Gauntlet is being held, right?”

“That…is my understanding of the situation if everything is correct,” Thor nodded again.

“I would have thought that Loki would’ve given him the location of that, but I guess not,” Rogers mused softly as Coulson understood the implications of the word. It did not wholly clear Loki’s name from dooming the entire universe be it as it may, but it at least provided some more insight into what was happening on a whole different level. And he was starting to fit the pieces of what was definitely an intricate puzzle together. Loki had withheld some information when Thanos had given him the sceptre and the Chitauri army and in Loki’s failure, Thanos had realized that he had been missing a few pieces and had decided to orchestrate events to make sure he had Loki back in his grasp.

The real question was, did Loki know all of this – but Coulson had a feeling that if he did, he would not have ‘foolishly left Asgard’ as Thor had said through the Allfather’s words. However, it did not make sense in light of Loki’s attempts to get back to Asgard so perhaps somewhere along the way; he had realized what was really happening.

So why did he willingly go to Montreal even if Romanoff had said it was a trap? Romanoff had not indicated that she had pressured him into doing it, even if she had been giving him the stink-eye after his initial refusal. Even he had been surprised at Loki’s sudden arrival on the quinjet, but covered it a lot better than Stark had done. It was clear that Romanoff knew a lot more than she had let anyone in on, but at the same time had expressed it through her body language that she would never say a word of what she knew. However, Coulson also knew her well enough that if it was something that threatened Earth she would not hesitate to tell the others. So it meant that whatever she knew of Loki and of Thor’s trust in her to somehow keep an eye on Loki in his stead, it was not as relevant to the current situation.

“So what do we do?” Fury asked, staring at Thor who shook his head.

“I too, have erred,” he stood up, pushing his chair back and looked at all of them, “please do not take offense or feel guilty towards my next words. I have realized that this is a fight that must not be fought on Midgard. I will bid Loki to finish his contract with you with all haste before we depart to Asgard. I will return to drive off the rest of the Chitauri and Thanos as a threat will be dealt with, but this is not your fight.”

Coulson shook his head at Rogers’ mouth opening, warning him not to say that they would fight with him. He had a sense that it would be the wrong words to say, especially at this moment, but also knew that they needed to be said. The Chitauri attacked them again and they would be damned if they sat around doing nothing. In a sense, they had proven that Earth was ready for a higher form of war and they would show it by helping the Asgardians defeat Thanos.

But this was not the time to say it. Not like this…

“Again, I am sorry my friends,” Thor sketched a short bow before leaving them and headed out the door and towards the cell where Loki was currently sleeping.

An awkward silence filled the table as everyone avoided each other’s gazes before Dr. Banner huffed an audible sigh and pushed his chair back with a slight screeching scrape. “I’m going to go help Dr. Foster with those calculations…”

“I’ll come with you too,” Stark replied automatically and Coulson saw him stand up, his expression blank and contemplative as he followed Dr. Banner out.

“Hey…Phil, can I talk to you for a second?” Barton suddenly asked and Coulson shrugged.

“Sure,” he stood up, nodding to Fury who returned his acknowledgment with a single nod of his own before heading out towards the opposite direction of the cells. He had a feeling he knew what Barton wanted to talk about and steeled himself for a conversation he knew was probably not going to end well. At the same time, he could not help but feel oddly relieved, that Thor had come to his senses that Loki was not welcomed on Earth at the moment and would be leaving with him soon.

* * *

The knock that came on the cell door was sudden, but expected before it was pushed open with a creaking sound and the heavy footsteps of Thor clomped in. “He sleeps?”

“Not well,” Natasha replied as she kept her gaze on Loki’s unmoving form. There had been the barest of tremors in the alien’s hand even though he was lying so still. It was unnoticed by the cameras, but Natasha kept an eye for it and saw that it almost had a rhythmic pattern to it before she recognized it from the briefing earlier in the day. Loki’s cuboid spellwork or whatever he was doing during the briefing had mimicked those same moves and while it had been fascinating, Natasha had been trained to recognize patterns and the like.

She had immediately come to the conclusion that while Loki liked to occupy himself with the cuboid, taking the barest interest in the conversation around the table, he had also been showing off to show up Stark’s mechanical adjustments on one of his gloves. But at the same time, the spellwork cuboid had similar movements she recognized as a character tic of sorts, something done unconsciously to soothe one’s self. At the time, she did not know why Loki did it, perhaps because he was surrounded by people he had called enemies only two weeks ago, but now, she knew it was because he had been trying to calm himself against Thanos or even the mere reaction of his presence.

Thor stood by her for a long moment, studying Loki with a gaze she could not quite read without being obvious about it, but seemed to come to a conclusion as he relaxed his posture a little. “When Loki wakes, I will bid him to finish the rest of his contract with haste and we shall leave for Asgard. It was my mistake to force him to take me here, to endanger you all with his presence.”

“It’s for the best,” Natasha never minced her words, even when she was employing her unique set of skills on a mark. She had long found that with her looks, many of her targets had always preferred a blunt approach, having been pleasantly surprised to find that she was not as vapid as she had seemed. It added to the benefit of them telling her secrets that they normally would not have spoken to others.

“I…had hoped he would have found some measure of peace here, even if he had been an enemy all but a fortnight ago,” Thor sighed and Natasha raised her head to look up at him as he crossed his arms and stared at Loki’s still form.

“So what do you see now?”

“That it may be inevitable,” the Thunder God scratched the back of his head, looking for the entire world, a lost little boy who felt utterly powerless in the face of some grave threat. “I do not want to lose my brother to that monster, even if he dares not call me the same.”

“You know he’ll probably never call you his brother,” she chimed in and saw him flinch, but nod, accepting her words.

“I know,” Thor took a step forward Natasha could see the tense posture around his shoulders. She, like the others, had read the files on Thor after Coulson’s mission in New Mexico. But she preferred to do her own analysis upon meeting a person and had quickly come to the conclusion that Thor, in a twisted sense, was everyway like Loki, or vice versa. The sole exception was that Thor was more extroverted about it, more willing to share and wear his heart on his sleeve. There was the definite arrogance about him that she had seen on so many of her marks on so many missions, the same arrogance that she knew she herself wore, but it was channeled in a different manner.

“Agent Romanoff,” Thor turned his head a little towards her, but did not look back at her, “what…drove you to save Agent Barton when all seemed lost?”

Natasha blinked and sat back a little, but still kept her eye on Loki. She had expected the question, but not so soon. Ever since she had been told the secrets and speculations that caused her to watch Loki like a hawk, to truly _understand_ him in her own way, she had never once made sure he was out of her gaze. There had been a moment of genuine fear when the Chitauri had swarmed the racetrack, had tried to prevent them from aiding the alien, but it was not fear for Loki. No, that fear was rather for the Earth and its innocent inhabitants as a whole…fear of what happened if she did not keep her eye on Loki at all times.

“I wasn’t aiming to save him,” Natasha replied quietly, “I was aiming to kill him.” Better a quick clean death than a long drawn out process for her to watch her…companion, was perhaps the best word to describe what Barton meant to her, suffer and be all aware of what was happening. But it was still the poorest word she could come up with. Everything else that could have been labeled next to ‘companion’ was childish and not what she was looking for.

It was something she had steeled herself to do, something she knew she _could_ do in light of her harrowing run from the Hulk; stop at least one person from destroying SHIELD, stop one person from obliterating the Helicarrier and everything they had stood for. She could not stop Loki back then, his words having eaten into her even though she had barely maintained her façade of indifference. So she had turned those words and twisted them within her until it hurt and she had set off to kill Barton so he would not have to suffer anymore.

It was what they owed each other.

Thor took her statement without much comment and turned away from her once more, drawing within himself as he hunched his shoulders. “Is that…is that what I have to do?”

“For you?” Thor was a much better person than she was and she smiled a little at his back, “no. I’m only telling you what I would do. And, if it’s true, killing him would only-“

“Send him quickly to Death and from there into Thanos’ hands,” Thor finished for her and sighed again, “it is as if we are surrounded by fire demons from all sides, demanding our flesh to burn on the rivers of an inferno on Muspelheim.”

“We call that a Catch-22,” Natasha shrugged, “dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t.”

“The Allfather was right in his wisdom in leaving Loki behind, leaving Lady Sif behind. It is _his_ foolish stubbornness that has drawn this out,” Thor shook his head, “and perhaps my own for not realizing it sooner.”

“I take it Odin doesn’t really say much does he?” Natasha never understood why Odin could not spell out his orders, especially in such a war-like society. It was simple really, tell a soldier like Thor what to do, when to do it, and what resources he had to do it and let it go from there. Adaptation was necessary, but just plain vagueness was usually a bad sign and almost always went FUBAR.

“Everything the Allfather does has a purpose,” Thor murmured and Natasha caught a hint of monotone rote in his voice and shook her head.

“I’m sure the obliteration of all nine realms is on that list,” she said and to his credit Thor chuckled, though it sounded a little weak.

“Your caustic humor reminds me greatly of the Lady Sif, though her tongue is not as sharp regarding the Allfather,” Thor turned back and smiled at her with a nod of his head, “thank you, Agent Romanoff for watching over my wayward brother. If you wish to rest and to look at your wounds, I release you to do so.”

Natasha only nodded as she got up and headed out of the room, Thor taking the seat she had occupied as it groaned and creaked under the weight of him and his slimmed down version of his armor. He had explained that he had used Mjolnir’s power to glamour himself so that his armor was not as intimidating as he walked around the Helicarrier. She did not look back as she left the two, her mind already on her next task, seeing if Dr. Banner and Dr. Foster had everything they need to speed up the process.

As much as Thor trusted her to keep an eye on Loki, with her new knowledge of what was happening, she wanted Loki off Earth and back on Asgard.

War was coming.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Apologies to anyone who is offended by Barton’s potty mouth – he’s not feeling charitable at the moment. And Stark would have said a lot worst too if Thor didn’t give him the stink eye. Oh, and apparently the two sneakiest agents have staged a coup and taken over this fic – Coulson and Romanoff. They did what Stark had been trying to do, except was successful…argh. This is also the first chapter that is _not_ Loki’s POV. Hope you enjoyed it!

 


	16. Chapter 16

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 16_

 

No room aboard the Helicarrier was private, but at least the one he found was not readily occupied by any crew member. Coulson politely closed the door behind Barton before the other man spun on his heel and pinned him with a steely glare.

“What the hell Phil,” Barton said and Coulson only shook his head.

“I’m not defending him,” he explained, but true to form Barton only rolled his eyes at him, not even believing a word he was saying.

“That sure as hell sounds like an admission that you think he’s a-okay!”

“It’s not-“

“He…he messed with my head, played with my brain like it was _nothing_! And he-he killed you!” Barton started to pace a little, his hands clenching and unclenching, “I should have just killed him in the first place-“

“You heard what Thor said if he’s killed. Natasha even suggested it-“

“Good for her,” Barton seethed, “and how do we know that Thor’s not pulling a fast one-“

“I don’t think he’s-“

“I mean, how do we know that Loki’s not addled his brain, Phil, huh?!” Barton shook his head, “for all we know, Loki’s got this whole sob story orchestrated and some mystical all-powerful being named Thanos just so he can mess with us again. I mean, come on! The Chitauri?! The portals?! I haven’t seen a hide or hair of this Thanos and here everyone’s starting to treat him like he’s the bogeyman, even you!”

“Clint-“

“No,” Barton spun to face him and pointed a finger close to his face, “no, don’t you _dare_ say that I don’t have the justification for this. Don’t.”

“Clint,” he pushed aside the finger and hand, “I’m saying that I get it, okay? I get where you’re coming from.”

“Then tell me why the hell aren’t you helping me get this psycho bastard off of this planet?!” Barton’s eyes blazed with barely contained anger and Coulson pressed his lips together.

“Because I’m taking this chance, _this second chance_ , to learn more about him. To see what he is and what he’s made of,” he made sure to emphasize his words to get it through to Barton that he was _not_ the only one who had been affected by Loki in his last visit to Earth. SHIELD’s clinical psychologists had not found any remnants of post-traumatic stress disorder when he had been called back into service, but Coulson was very good at hiding things and it was the fact that he had _died_ that he did not want to visit at the moment. Still, he found it useful sometimes to mention that he had been dead and had gotten better…relatively speaking.

“We shouldn’t have to. We should just either lock him up or throw him back to Asgard,” Clint ran a hand through his short hair, “I get it, okay? You don’t need to tell me twice and I know I’m being a pain right now, but seriously…Phil, this guy…”

“We’re all feeling the same way you do, Barton,” he canted his head and nodded, “well, most of us at least. But what do you want me to say or do? Fury’s made the contract and Thor’s starting to realize that it’s a mistake bringing him here so what more can we do?”

“Short of shoving him off the ship and down thirty-thousand feet?”

“Thor’s not going to like that,” he deadpanned and caught the barest of sarcastic laughter from Barton, but it was at least something.

“I’m just saying…I know something’s up with this guy. Even if Thanos is real or not, or if this is all just some made up bullshit he’s pulling, something’s up with the bastard,” Clint grimaced and looked away, “we’ve lost too many good people…and all of it…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Natasha had told him that even though Clint had tried not to let the deaths of the SHIELD agents who died the day of his attack on the Helicarrier affect him, he was still haunted by his death at the hands of Loki.

“Yeah…” Clint coughed out, his tone indicating that he did not believe a single word.

“I’m here,” Coulson held his hands out away from him, “I’m breathing, I’m alive, and I feel fine-“

“You bursting into song like you goaded Selvig to do so that one day is not helping here,” he smiled a little at the slight smirk Clint wore on his face and could see his pent up anger and frustration slowly drain away.

“No, seriously,” he clapped his fellow agent on the shoulder, “don’t beat yourself up about this. It’s not your fault. I’m back and that’s all there is to it. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine, like old times, right?”

“…Yeah…” he could see Clint still struggling to come to terms with it, but there was a degree of certainty in his voice as he returned the gesture, “I’ve got yours.”

Coulson nodded as Barton huffed out a sigh and opened the door to the room, letting the sounds of the Helicarrier fill it once more. “Just probably an FYI…I’ve still got an arrow marked with the bastard’s name on it. He makes one funny move-”

“I don’t expect anything less,” he saw the archer give a little shrug before leaving and let out a quiet sigh of his own once he was sure Barton was out of hearing range.

He knew he could never fault Barton for his guilt or feelings on the matter at hand, but at the same time, he knew he could at least try to direct it towards something constructive instead of utter destructive internal anger. It was like watching out for his younger brother of sorts. All the same, he appreciated the roundabout way Barton had been trying to look out for him – even if it was anger directed at Loki; to make sure he himself was not self-destructing under the knowledge of his murderer was technically free of his own recognizance.

His next problem was dealing with Stark…

* * *

Natasha allowed the door to close behind her as she left the lab Banner, Stark, and Dr. Foster were working in having checked to make sure that they had everything they needed. It was a menial task that could have been handed to one of the newer agents trying to climb the ranks, but she wanted to get a feel for the mood of both Stark and Banner after the briefing had ended. Judging by Thor’s words, it seemed like it had not ended on a relatively positive note – but then again, she never expected any briefing to end on a positive note.

Banner seemed contemplative while Stark just seemed outright angry, but was pouring that anger into his work instead. At least it seemed Banner was not affected by Stark’s mood, and that was her primary concern. Any sign of stress from Banner was always a bad thing. Now that knew his secret to turning into the Hulk, they had taken some more precautions since the Chitauri had reappeared. Involuntary stress made the Hulk a mindless beast, but controlled anger, allowed Banner to assert a measure of control, even though it was still unquantifiable.

The odd thing was that Banner happened to be in Stuttgart helping out at one of the local clinics when the Chitauri had attacked and Fury and SHIELD had known that by Stark’s intervention when they had called him for help. The Hulk had already been engaging the Chitauri who had nearly blown up the clinic Banner had been working in so it was relatively easy to use that as a vantage point and drive the Chitauri into the main square, the big green guy leading the charge.

Thankfully it had gone relatively right as when the rest of them had arrived, the Hulk had instantly recognized them as allies and had even deferred to Rogers for any instruction as he had taken two Mercedes Benz and flattened several Chitauri into pancakes. Then Thor and Loki had arrived and things had gotten a little dicey as Rogers had immediately ordered the Hulk to corral the outer Chitauri forces in an effort to keep the Hulk far away from Loki.

Natasha wanted to know why it was so…did Rogers see something about Loki before any of them had heard his story or was it something else? He had been the most decidedly neutral of all of them when Loki’s arrival had thrown everything into flux.

She found him outside on the Helicarrier’s deck, the wind blowing his hair this way and that, his bomber jacket catching the wind and expanding outwards. A quick glance at her watch told her that it was within the half-hour period the Helicarrier dipped below thirty-thousand feet and back into relatively breathable atmosphere for a quick maintenance check every night.

The sun had already set and the stars were out, painting the night sky with its brilliant lights and twinkles. They were probably hovering over the Gulf of St. Lawrence or thereabouts judging by the air temperature. It was cold, but not enough to deter Natasha from asking her questions as she stepped out, knowing that even over the slight howl of the wind, he could hear her approach. And he did not disappoint as he turned his head a little and acknowledged her with a small nod.

“You want to go back in?” he asked politely and she shook her head, but wrapped her arms closer around her body.

“I’m fine,” she replied as he offered her the warmth of his jacket and while she knew others in this day and age would have read so much into his gallant gesture, she also knew that he offered it as a friend with no romantic attachments to it. “Thanks.”

“I come out here just to remind myself that there are others I fight for every single day even if I don’t know their names,” Rogers said, projecting his voice towards her over the wind. She watched him silently, knowing that there was more he wanted to say as he looked up towards the night sky, “and probably now including on my list is anyone living on those stars.”

“So you believe all of this?” she asked bluntly and he gave her a small shrug in return.

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I mean, yeah Thor’s got the power of someone like Zeus or something, and he does come from another planet, but I want to believe that it’s something to do with God’s plan. Schmidt and Hydra only made me believe that the Devil really existed and now…all of this about Thanos and Death? It’s like the myths and Revelations bound into one.”

He looked at her, “You’re asking me where I stand in all of this?”

“Pretty much,” she shrugged, “just trying to get a feel of what’s going on.”

“I think Loki’s right,” Rogers sighed and cross his arms, “there’s something out there and it’s not happy. Whether it’s Thanos or Death, I don’t know, but in a way, it makes sense that someone’s pulling Loki’s strings.”

“How so?” she tilted her head to look at him, a little puzzled at his reasoning.

“If Loki’s the same Loki I read in the myths when I was just a kid, he doesn’t like having his strings pulled. He likes pulling the strings himself. Sure there’s the chance he could be pulling a fast one on all of us, and he has done so according to the myths, but that’s exactly what they are, just myths. I mean, the myths really don’t say much about a relationship between Thor and Loki, just the fact that those two didn’t interact as much. Yet at the same time, there was always one story I never really got. Ragnarok.”

“How Loki would bring about the end of the Norse pantheon?” Natasha had only skimmed most of the Norse myths after Coulson’s mission debrief in New Mexico, but she had been oddly fascinated by the concept of Ragnarok, comparing it to Revelations and other religious world-ending apocalypses to come.

“Yeah,” Rogers nodded, “the actual story starts with Surtr invading Asgard with a host of jotnar and other forces behind him, but I think it really starts when Loki’s supposed to have killed Baldur and then is imprisoned by Odin and the others, ending his good relations with the rest of the Aesir. For the lack of a better descriptive, he pretty much ends up joining the invasion force. But what I don’t get is what the catalyst is? What sets off all of that, why set him off to kill Baldur? There has to be something that sets Loki off because he’s always been pulling the strings…so _what_ pulled his strings to make him commit regicide in the stories?”

“And that’s your basis for trusting that Loki’s telling the truth?”

“In a way yes,” Rogers’s brow crinkled as he glanced down at her, “it doesn’t really make sense does it?”

“It does…” she understood where he was coming from, “because what Loki’s not telling us means we should be worried that someone’s pulling his strings and that someone is definitely not happy with him.”

“Maybe…Thanos thinks he’s this Surtr figure from the Norse myths,” Rogers rubbed the back of his head sheepishly as the wind gusted a little.

“And he’s bringing about Ragnarok, except to the galaxy as a whole,” Natasha frowned thoughtfully, “good theory.”

“Yeah, just that, a theory,” Rogers sighed, “and not really a solid one too. I’m not good at this stuff, Dr. Erskine was better at theories than I was…” He glanced at her once more, “Look, this doesn’t mean that I forgive or excuse Loki for what’s he’s done to Earth in his last rampage here – he needs to be punished, needs to be held accountable for all of this – but it seems to me that the fact that Odin basically let him off and gave him his freedom is a little too close to the myths in my opinion. Basically the two were really good buddies in the stories. It’s like they don’t care…and I get it on some level, but on another level, I’m not happy.”

“They do style themselves a lot like the Norse Gods,” Natasha supplied and Rogers nodded, but looked unhappy.

“There’s only one God ma’am,” he murmured, “and that’s why everyone, even I, should be accountable for our actions on this good green Earth.” He shook his head, “Look, I don’t mean to get all religious on you – it’s not really my habit to say things like that-“

“You’re not,” Natasha shook her head. Far be it from the opposite, she actually found his simplistic, yet world-weary view of the world more than refreshing from the cynics and jade-colored glasses almost everyone in SHIELD wore these days. There were but a handful who still viewed the world without the jade-colored glasses, but they were mostly new recruits that soon lost that naivety. Rogers seemed to have lost it yet kept it at the same time, which made for a rather fascinating conversation in her opinion.

Silence reigned between the two of them for a few minutes before Rogers uncrossed his arms, “We should head back in.”

She only nodded before opening the door back into the warm confines of the Helicarrier, Rogers following behind her. In a way, what he had said about the myths made sense and she was comforted in the fact that at least someone understood the dangers, but in another, she was deeply afraid of those myths coming to life. And it seemed that they were coming to life…

* * *

He awakened with a start and for a moment, saw the hazy stars and cloudy bands of galaxies far, far away before they were replaced by the cool silvery metal of the Helicarrier cell he was in. Loki turned his head, feeling oddly stiff before realizing that he had all but fallen asleep in such a haphazard manner and grimaced a little as he twisted his body to at least a somewhat comfortable position. He quickly glamoured away his armor, leaving him in the familiar robes and tunics he wore around the palace. He smiled to himself as he did not feel any lingering dizziness or nausea from his quick spellcasting, but at the same time could still feel a bit of lingering exhaustion tugging at the edges of his consciousness – he had not complete recovered, but at least had recovered enough to do simple spellwork.

“You look better,” Romanoff’s voice to his right made him twist his head a little to see her sitting on the lone chair in the room, staring at him with her cool-eyed gaze.

“Flattery does not suit you,” he canted his head a little and stared at her with a sideways look before gingerly pushing himself up from the bed. There was a brief wave of dizziness, but it subsided quickly enough as he knew it was not from the dredges of magical exhaustion, but rather because he had been lying prone for such a long time.

“No, really, you look better,” Romanoff said again and he shook his head, “you don’t look like someone decided to run you over several times.”

“And since when have you been concerned about my well-being?” he asked. He was not exactly in the mood to spar with words, feeling the twinges of pain upon his chest once more at the reminder that he still had a geas-contract to fulfill. The fact that the pain was there meant that something was going wrong and it needed to be rectified soon before the pain grew. But he could not fathom what had gone wrong unless Banner had not gotten the proper readings?

“I’m just a concerned party,” she replied, “we want to make sure that you can still help us.”

“…help…you?” Loki looked up from where he was sitting and saw Romanoff staring at him with an unreadable gaze on her face, “ _I_ am _not_ helping you! I am-“ He stopped as he stared at her, his gaze raking across her as he really looked at her…and found it. “Oh…oh, now this _is_ rich,” he laughed a little and saw a frown appear on her face, “but you should know better than to trick me twice with the same illusion.”

“I don’t-“

“All you had to do was to ask,” he spread his hands out as he sat on his bed and saw the confusion that was on Agent Romanoff’s face slowly fade away, replaced by a cruel smile that he knew she had the ability to wear.

However, when she spoke, it was not her venomous honeyed tone that he was familiar with, but rather one that sounded like it was dragged across the pits of lava, gravel, and forged in hellfire. “Yet you seem so pliable the last time it had happened, Trickster.”

“I don’t fall for the same trick twice, _Thanos_ ,” he dropped the smile and glared at Romanoff, or at least the shade Thanos was using to converse in this dreamscape. He absently plucked at the fabrics and skeins, feeling the infinite power behind them. The reaction was immediate as an iridescent flash spread like a wave across the skeins, instantly reinforcing them from being tampered.

“Now, now, none of that Trickster,” Thanos was still wearing Romanoff’s skin, as Loki released the hold he had on a weave before the reinforced power could smash into him. There were other ways out of a dream weave as he made the show of looking around. He pursed his lips and figured that Thanos was perhaps trying to throw him off by wearing Romanoff’s skin. However, it had the opposite effect on him, as he rather enjoyed it. It made him all the more aware of Romanoff’s abilities as a wordsmith and thus made him more aware of Thanos.

“Have you come here to gloat?” he asked in a simple tone returning his gaze back to Thanos-Romanoff.

“I came here to tell you that it is inevitable. Why delay the eventuality you truly know from within that will come to pass…my pet?”

Loki’s eyebrow twitched but he refused to be goaded with the demeaning word.

“You were my pet when you were in my service, do you not remember-“

“I remember _everything_ ,” he forced out a little heatedly, “and it will do you no good to hang it over my head.”

“Because you have overcome it?” Thanos-Romanoff laughed a hellfire-yet-somehow-girlish laughter that sounded eerily like Romanoff herself. “So… _human_ of you-“ Thanos suddenly lunged at him and it was all that Loki could do to not flinch as her face appeared in front of his, their noses almost touching. He could feel his hand twitch, the knee-jerk reaction to summon a dagger to defend himself, but at the same time knew it was utterly useless in a dreamscape and Thanos-Romanoff laughed again. “You believe yourself to be strong, you believe yourself to be free from me? You believe wrong.”

This close Loki could see the twin icy, inhuman eyes that lurked behind the skin Thanos wore and refused to acknowledge the shudder that crept up his spine. He was _not_ afraid… _the Allfather had promised_ -

“The Allfather’s promises will not save you, Trickster,” Thanos-Romanoff whispered sweetly, “nor your alliance with these pitiful band of mortals-“

“I _make_ no alliance with them! I only-“

“You only wish to escape, do you not?” the cruel laugh returned and something slowly made its way down Loki’s left cheek, but he refused to look at it, “you wish to escape back to Asgard, back to the relative safety of the Allfather where you would be safe-you wish to escape back to Asgard, back to the relative safety of the Allfather where you would be safe- _YouWILLNEVERbesafe._ ”

_Ifoundyou…_

_Runrunrunrunrunrunneverlookback_

_Ifoundyou…_

_YouWILLNEVERbefreeyouwillbeMINE!_

Loki could feel his body trembling as the whispers and voices of the void, of the shadows between Yggdrasil drew around him, pressing in upon him, clamoring for his attention. He blinked rapidly as Romanoff’s face suddenly stretched into a horrific mimicry of an exaggerated death’s-head smile, _his_ smile before he shook his head. “N-No,” he was dismayed to find that even his own voice was betraying him.

“No?” Thanos-Romanoff leaned in closer and Loki thought he felt the harsh heat, the brush of hellfire and all of the unimaginable pain that accompanied it and gritted his teeth together.

“No,” he looked straight into the icy inhuman eyes and narrowed his own, “you will never have me.” Even before the words left his mouth, he plunged the dagger into his own heart-

There was a howling sound of anger-

Loki suddenly jerked, muscles twitching, and snapped open his eyes as he stared at the blank grey-white wall of the cell he was in. He found his breath coming in quiet harsh gasps, his heart racing as it beat unsteadily against his undertunic and armor and thought he heard the pounding of his own blood circulating through his very being.

“…Loki?” he jerked a little at the sound of Thor’s voice and heard the groaning creak of the plastic chair as Thor got up.

But before his brother could even take a step towards his bed, he held up a hand, “Stop.”

“Loki what-“

Loki scrambled up from his cell bed and reached deep within him and drew out the only thing he knew could never be replicated in a dreamscape. He nearly sighed in relief as he held the glowing ball that signified the geas-contract with the Midgardians and stared at it for a moment before releasing it back to where it nestled. It was only then that Loki allowed himself to relax and hunched forward, his back still turned away from Thor.

He could feel Thor’s eyes boring into him, his presence just hovering close by before he audibly swallowed, “Loki…you…were in the throes of a nightmare-“

“And your point?” he snarled acidly as he concentrated on willing himself not to give into the fear-turned-terror that had been so present in that waking dream.

“I…if I had known-“

“There’s _nothing_ you can do about it,” he cut Thor off before he realized what he had said and turned to stop his brother from saying anything else, “and do not think of this as something to fix. Then again, _why_ do you persist on trying to fix things that do not need to be fixed?! Why?!”

“Because you are my brother-“

“ _I am NOT your brother_ ,” Loki growled out. He could not understand why Thor would persist in this sentimentality when there was none to be had and why, for everything in the nine realms would he ever think that there would be something, some left over tattered remnants of brotherly love, of sentimentality on his part. Thor betrayed him, the Allfather betrayed him, everyone- He took a deep breath as he calmed himself down, to tamp down on the fear that he knew was partially driving this. The other part was mere annoyance at Thor. “Your futile insistence that you are my brother, that you are my _comrade-in-arms_ , whatever you want to call it is baseless. It will only present to you a never ending ache in the long run and it is for the best if you realize that before it is too late.”

He expected the hurt on Thor’s face and saw it flash by with some satisfaction; the truth hurt and while Loki knew that on some level there was once a upon a time he would have tried to take those words back, he knew he was beyond that. However, what he did not expect was the hurt to disappear so quickly to be replaced by a worrying concern. “Before it is too late?” Thor looked at him shrewdly and Loki looked away. Damn Thor and his sharp ears…

“A saying amongst your precious mortals-“

“But one you would never use so lightly, brother,” Thor cut him off and Loki grimaced. He knew Thor was not the idiot that many thought him as, even though he himself thought of Thor as an idiot on certain other subjects, mainly his sentimentality, but the fact that Thor was showing an uncanny use of his warrior-heightened memory to pick up on facts and words to _use against him_ , him, the Wordsmith and God of Lies, annoyed him greatly. He also had the same glint in his eye when he put together pieces of a puzzle that Loki was curious about, but was too prideful to ask.

“What troubles-“

That was the last straw for Loki as he rounded on Thor, standing up with such frustrating anger that it surprised even himself. But he pushed past that quickly, “ _What_ troubles me brother?! What troubles me and you have the gall to ask such a question?! You know very well what is happening and yet you persist in this farce! You think I want this?! You think that I would-I would keep all of this in some vain effort for my own vainglory?! Are you so dimwitted and dull that you dare ask such a thing when you yourself have claimed to know what the Allfather has planned?! You who have recruited that mewling _girl_ for your purposes in what, to-to ‘bid thee to keep an eye on me’?!”

He laughed, an indignant sounding, exasperated laugh, “For your entire all of your knowledge and _infinite_ wisdom, you are nothing more than just a pawn in the greater scheme of things. You do not _know_ , yet you claim you do-“

“Thanos haunts you. Haunts every shadow, every step that you have taken,” Thor interrupted and Loki’s jaw dropped as he shook his head and stared at him. He could not believe it, could not believe…

“Of course he does!” he all but shouted, “I know that, everyone knows that, even you should know that!”

“Then why won’t you let us help you!” Thor shouted at him.

“ _There is nothing you can do!_ ” Loki roared back, “ _Nothing!_ ” He heaved in a deep breath and blew it out noisily, “I want nothing more than to go home!” As soon as the words left his mouth he hastily corrected himself, “I want nothing more than to return to _Asgard_ where I do not have to deal with incompetent fools like you, like your precious Avengers-“ He suddenly walked away and gritted his teeth together in irritation, “Just…just take me to the lab so I may be done with this farce. It is time I finished the rest of this idiotic contract.”

“Loki-“

“If you will not open this door Thor, I will blast it open and anyone who gets in my way,” he stared murderously at the door, as if it would give him answers. He heard Thor shuffle behind him before the door slid open and Loki stalked out, headed towards the direction of the labs that he knew Banner would be working in.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

To the guest reviewer who left that _very long_ essay-review. I love you. There I said it. I am calling you out on a very special occasion and telling you that I absolutely ADORED that review. It honestly made my day and made me giggle like an idiot for the next hour or so (or several days). Moving on…

I’d like to think Thanos’ voice as similar to the Balrog’s roar in _Fellowship of the Ring_ so just kind of think of it like that brick-dragged-across-concrete-and-foleyed-several-times sound as he’s conversing with Loki. That’s all. Oh…and Loki’s kind of reaching a breaking point. Not quite…but he’s starting to kind of crack. You can give him hugs, but I dunno how receptive he will be to them. He’s probably more liable to turn you into bligesnipes or something.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 17_

 

“You know…that wasn’t exactly nice,” Bruce Banner murmured as he adjusted several outputs on the monitor he was staring at. They had been working in near silence save for Tony’s occasional mutterings, for the last few hours since the briefing ended. Dr. Jane Foster had joined them, but left for an hour after Fury said he wanted to debrief her and her team on the research into the sceptre that Loki wielded. She had returned after that, but had gone again, admitting that she was getting hungry and had offered to bring back at least a couple of cups of fresh coffee for them.

“What tossing a few of those Chitauri-“

“You know what I’m talking about,” he interrupted Tony as he bustled at his workstation and heard an audibly annoyed sigh.

“Oh, sorry,” the other man replied sarcastically, “I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to hurt _a mass murderer’s_ feelings by telling him that he needs to own up to his mistakes. And besides, what-why…why are you even defending him?”

“Tony…” Bruce shook his head, “it’s not about defending him it’s…more about your choice of words.” He glanced up across the room to see Tony staring intently into his monitor, his dark eyes avoiding him. “And…I think that there’s probably more to him than-“

“He’s had a thousand years on us, Bruce,” Tony started quietly, and while he knew that a normal person would have strained to hear the words, to him it felt like someone was just conversing next to his ear. He dared not mention to the others that normal range of vocal conversation was very much like being yelled at, in case the others weren’t skittish enough around him. “A thousand years and you think that maybe, just maybe, he could have learned something?!”

“You’ve read the report on Thor, right? Coulson even said that in the three days Thor was on Earth during his first visit, there was a definite change in personality. Age or years upon age and maturation doesn’t really mean a thing to these guys,” Banner said as he fiddled with a readout, “I’m just saying…Loki’s probably been like this for his whole life, but with Thanos breathing down his neck-“

“He gave him the very method of how to bring the Chitauri here, Bruce,” Tony shook his head, “and from what I gather, it’s a big no-no. So he’s pretty much screwed himself over and wants us to help fix the problem, _his_ problem that he’s created in the first place.”

“Maybe he didn’t have a choice-“

“Spare me,” Tony threw him a withering look, “we all have a choice. Loki chose to act like a megalomaniac and try to take over the Earth. He _chose_ to ally himself with Thanos and use the Chitauri. He claims to have been shown things in the Tesseract, but the fact of the matter was that he could have walked away from all of this if he wanted to. Could have just stopped his invasion, stopped listening to Thanos, but he didn’t-“

“Could you have stopped being Iron Man, Tony?” Bruce cut him off and stared straight at him, “like how sometimes I could _stop_ being the Other Guy?”

“That’s-“

“It’s a fair assessment and you know I’m right. I’m just saying Tony, you don’t have to like him or even agree with him – I know I don’t like him – he’s too much like you-“

“Did you just compare me to him?!”

“I did,” Bruce smiled a little at an attempt to placate Tony and tell him that it was more in jest, “I’m just saying that you can’t readily condemn someone without knowing everything. You at least have to give them a chance to explain themselves. Maybe a second chance?”

“He’s explained himself all right. He doesn’t _want_ to be here,” Tony groused, but Bruce could see that his words had hit home and that his friend was a little ashamed at how quickly he had jumped down on Loki for doing the things he had done.

“And that’s fine by all of us,” Bruce replied easily, “so all we have to do is make sure he leaves as soon as possible. Thor’s already agreed that he’s going to make sure Loki’s doing nothing but finishing up that geas-contract thing or whatever so all we have to do is get everything squared away.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed and pondered his screen a little more before looking up at him, “Bruce, I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Is it because you, well, the Other Guy can pound him into the concrete like there’s nothing that you really sympathize with him?”

“Do you remember what he said? When he was in that cell with Thor and Fury?”

“Sort of…”

“He said that there would always be someone else to decide whether or not you need to be punished, or something there about,” Bruce rubbed his arms together and smiled a little, “you guys have really given me a second chance that no one else really has when they see the Other Guy…I…just want to make sure that he knows that there’s at least one person out there that is willing to give him a second chance…”

“Even if it’s the same guy who smashed him into the ground like there was nothing?”

“Even that same guy,” Bruce replied as he bit his lip and looked back at his screen. It was the best excuse he could come up with…he still did not want to let the others that he could literally smell the fear off of Loki, even if he had been trying to show an indifference to it. It made him sick to his stomach to smell such a thing, having smelled mostly the same thing on Natasha after the Other Guy had forcibly taken over in an effort to protect him from any and all threats. He understood on some level that the Other Guy hated that smell as much as he did and just wanted it gone, wanted no fear to exist – thus chased Natasha all over the bowels of the Helicarrier until Thor had intercepted them.

Tony snorted, but Bruce was too used to his mannerisms to take it as the unkind gesture that he knew it was, “Good luck with that.”

“I don’t expect anything less,” he replied mildly as the door slid open to reveal Dr. Foster carrying three cups of steaming hot coffee along with her black notebook where she scribbled all of her notes and equations, having liked the old fashion way of figuring out theories and algorithms as opposed to Tony’s high-tech style of jotting it down on his tablet.

“Hey, coffee,” Bruce smiled as she placed a cup down and Tony reached over her shoulder to pluck his and downed it with a loud sigh.

“That hits the spot,” he said as soon as he was done chugging it and Bruce was mildly surprised that he did not burn himself with the hot liquid.

“You took mine,” Jane looked a little annoyed and Bruce had to laugh a little. It certainly explained why Tony was able to chug his down without burning himself – Jane had probably let hers cool down a lot while she had been eating and perhaps had forgotten about it, but had gotten them fresh cups instead.

“I don’t see you name on it,” Tony shrugged as he threw the empty cup into the garbage can and walked back over to his station. However, before he could even start adjusting the equations on his screen the general alarm blared and all looked up the flashing lights for a second before Bruce saw Fury’s face pop up on the corner of his screen as well as on the one Jane had been working on and Tony’s.

“Stark, we need you to suit up,” Fury said, “Banner, can you and Dr. Foster handle things without him?”

“We can,” Bruce nodded, “what happened?”

“There are reports of Chitauri attacking Tǿnsberg, Norway.”

“We haven’t finished configuring the output-“

“I know,” Fury held up his hand to forestall him, “and while I have no idea what’s in Norway to make Thanos want to attack it, we still need you and Dr. Foster to hurry.”

“It would be easier with Tony here-“

“No can do,” Fury shook his head, “Thor’s refusing to leave Loki’s side so we need your firepower Stark.”

“Got it,” Tony looked like he was about to say something else, most likely regarding Thor’s unwillingness to leave Loki’s side before he decided against it and headed out.

Bruce could only shake his head as Fury’s face disappeared from his screen and the alarms cut off. He knew he was never going to change Tony’s opinion and he did not want to, but he at least wanted Tony to give some benefit of the doubt. He had seen the way the two brothers acted around one another and while he was never one to dish out advice, especially to two aliens who were definitely a lot older than he was, he would have thought that Thor would have recognized Loki’s defensive mechanisms by now…almost like a prickly hedgehog that did not want to unprickle itself.

“Where did Stark leave at?” Jane sipped a little unhappily at the remaining coffee as she approached her workstation and Bruce sent the equations and calculations her way with a flick of his fingers.

“All right let’s-“

Jane never finished saying whatever she wanted to say as the door slid open and Bruce looked up from his screen to look at her stilted expression to the door and raised an eyebrow. Loki had stopped where he was, staring back at the two of them, and Bruce could not help but see thin lines of exhaustion, weariness, and grimaced as he smelled the underlying _fear_.

“You…” Jane said flatly and in that instance, Bruce could feel the stress building within him. This was not good…

* * *

“You…”

Loki’s eyes narrowed a little as he shifted his feet to face the mortal woman who had spat the word at him. His tempered already frayed from Thor’s insistent mollycoddling, his _hope_ for reconciliation was wearing down on him and now this foolish mortal woman-

“Lady Jane, please do not-“ Thor started behind him, his tone a wary before Banner suddenly stepped forward.

“Hey, just the person I was looking for,” he cut everyone off and Loki blinked in surprise as the scientist suddenly directed a tight, yet oddly relieved smile towards him before clasping his hands together. “Listen, Loki, we’ve gotten the readings, but if you could just step over here with me to help me with the calculations-“

“What are you-“

“Just here,” Banner’s grin became even more forced and to Loki’s slight horror, he saw the tinge of green within the mortal’s eyes before quickly deciding to humor the mortal and follow him towards an empty workstation where one of the clear-projected-screens was set up. A small table next to the screen was covered in a multitude of metal scraps, some half-eaten bags of food, and two mugs of something that was cold, brown, and smelled acidic. Loki suspected that this had to have been the man of iron’s workstation.

He and Thor had seen him rush out of the lab as they turned the corner after the alarms started to blare, but it seemed Stark had not seen them nor acknowledge their presence before they continued towards the lab. Directory Fury had called Thor as he had engaged in a mostly one-sided conversation; Loki’s sharp hearing picking out that Fury wanted him to go with the rest of the Avengers to Tǿnsberg, Norway, willing to leave Romanoff to watch him again. The word Tǿnsberg sounded familiar to Loki, but he could not quite place where or what it meant to him. But to Loki’s annoyance and surprise, Thor had flatly refused and had not even given a single explanation save for the fact that it was his responsibility by the Allfather’s orders.

He had heard Fury acknowledge and had heard the annoyance in the dark-skinned man’s voice as he cut the communication off. Seconds later, they saw Stark exiting the lab, a dark cloud over his features.

“Sorry about the mess, Tony’s got some weird habits while he’s working,” Banner said in a congenial manner and Loki was aware that all eyes were on him and Banner as he turned one of the screens and looked towards the mortal woman.

“Hey Jane, can you send some of the files on my screen this way?”

“Bruce-“

“ _Please_ ,” there was a definite edge in Banner’s tone, but to Loki’s surprise, the greenish tinge that he thought he had seen in Banner’s eyes was gone. He shot a quick look at Thor to see him a bit tense, but otherwise seemed puzzled by the turn of events. He supposed that everyone had the right to be worried when Dr. Banner was feeling the least bit stressed.

“Fine,” the woman, Jane, said – and Loki suddenly realized that this was Thor’s Lady Jane, of whom he claimed to have loved and cherished, of whom Thor had been willing to sacrifice the Bifrost to never see again…this Jane that had captured his brother’s heart unlike many other women or courtiers through the years. “I _thought_ Stark said that Fury-“

“I don’t care,” Banner shrugged, “Loki’s been nothing but helpful and I’ll be damned if I can’t put a resource like him to good use-“

“I am _not_ to be used-“

“I mean, I want your help,” Banner shot him a look to which Loki found himself actually admiring it for its bravado – though he supposed that the mortal prided himself on using his inner monster to throw him around that last time. He would not make that mistake again…

Loki only stared at Banner for a long moment before Banner moved the transparent screen closer to him and pointed out a series of jagged lines that he realized, he recognized. “These are the electromagnetic spectrum patterns I was able to pull from the portal, the shield, and your counter shield spell. I’ve converted the base forms from the radiation reads to something-“

“They are similar to the techno-magnetic theory that we usually study,” Loki mused quietly as he stared at the patterns and hesitantly lifted a finger to poke at the screen. He was a little afraid he was going to break it-“

“You can’t break these, well; _you_ actually may be able to, considering that you and Thor are kind of on a physical level that’s not like us squishy humans,” Banner smiled depreciatingly before clearing his throat, “anyways, go ahead, just make sure you press firmly if you want to move the object or anything on it elsewhere.”

Loki tamped down on his irritation at being directed to do something, recognizing that Banner was familiar with this piece of mortal technology, even though it was similar to the magicks he used, but not in a touchscreen format. He pressed on the indicated area and found it somewhat amusing that he was able to move the object all over the place before a few ideas formed as he wondered what he would be able to do if he added his magicks to it. There was already a three-dimensional projection in the briefing room, but that was just mere technology, easily disabled…to reinforce- He shook his head inwardly as he released his finger from the glass; he was _not_ here to uplift the mortals and did not want to even do so. They were parasites and the fact that they had created such technology was only a testament to the fact that they were ready for a higher form of war.

“Where is the one with my shield break spell?” he asked and Banner frowned before swiping a few objects away and presented him with a medium sized object that showed jagged lines and Loki frowned.

“I see…this is not-“ he frowned, “you have too much telemetry in here that does not show the clear signature-“

“Can you help us clean it up then?” Banner looked at him before gesturing vaguely to his own workstation, “we’re trying to find a way to use what you did to close a portal. Dr. Foster’s been working through the calculations to detect a portal, but we still need one to close it. And since we’ve also picked up the counter shield spell, maybe it can be used to somehow counteract the barrier and then you can go home.”

“Asgard is not my home,” Loki replied distractedly, the words falling easily from his lips. He was more fascinated by the possibilities Banner had presented to him with what the data collected.

“So what do we need to do?” Banner asked and Loki studied the patterns before poking his finger into one of the jagged patterns and lifted it away from the others.

“You do not need that,” he murmured absently before he pulled the screen away from its angle and set it in front of himself as he studied it further. He recognized the peaks and gaps in between and his mind raced at the possibilities of creating an isolated algorithm that would easily translate into closing a portal. His eyes flicked over to the one holding the shielding and absently lifted his left hand, palm up as he summoned the barrier cracking power to his hand.

“What is that-“ the Lady Jane started at the same time as Banner spoke up.

“Is it supposed to look like that?”

Loki turned to look at the spell he had conjured in his hand at the concern in Banner’s voice and saw that indeed, the spell itself looked rather sickly. Or rather it was the cuboid that he had used to amplify the spell. He reached out and plucked it from the spell itself, holding it in between his finger tips as he gently brushed a wounded skein off of it and his mouth twisted unhappily. The shielding must have been quite powerful if it did this much damage to his simple cuboid and he knew that he would have to repair it. He placed it back in the vacuum void that he used to carry his things and as a precaution, placed a containment spell around the cuboid so it would not carry its unraveled skein elsewhere. He rather liked his tessellation to stay intact if it was all the same.

“It’ll take me some time to figure out the purity of the spell,” he commented absently as he twisted his fingers on his left hand, spinning the spell around a bit. Even though the main body of the cuboid had disappeared, there were still bits and pieces he needed to peel off and unravel from the spell itself until he was able to match what the readings taken. He would be able to then isolate it and hopefully by that time they would be able to come up with a solution to break the barrier so that Heimdall could open the Bifrost.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Banner murmured near him and moved away, but Loki wasn’t exactly paying attention to him as he spun the spell around again and pulled at another skein, gently tugging it inch by inch until he succeeded in freeing a long strand and flicked it away with some disgust. He waved his hand to summon a chair and sat down on it as he hunched over and concentrated on the spell in his hand. It was better than dwelling the gnawing _terror_ that he knew was growing within him.

* * *

When the door hissed open, Loki did not look up from his work, having cleared up at least a majority of the spell in his hand. However, when he heard Director Fury’s familiar voice clearing his throat, he looked up from his work and blinked as he felt utterly stiff. He sat back in the chair, discreetly stretching his stiff muscles and took a quick look at the clock by the corner of his screen. He had been at work for almost two and half hours since he had arrived…and it was a wonder that he had not moved from his spot.

He had heard the murmurs of conversation from Banner, the Lady Jane, and even Thor’s rumblings, but none had included him in it and he was glad for that. He was not there to be friends with them and did not care for what they were saying to each other – though he supposed with some air of dark amusement Thor wanted probably a private moment with Lady Jane to whisper sweet nothings to her. But due to his orders from the Allfather, he could not leave his side.

It was also then that he noticed Director Fury looking pointedly at him and smirked before he deliberately touched the screen and pulled two more unnecessary algorithms from the one that displayed the shielding. He considered sending the file to Banner, having seen both him and Lady Jane share files by just flying them off the screen, but also knew that while it was still incomplete, it would make him look like an utter fool if he sent it right then and there.

“He knows what he’s doing, Director,” Banner muttered into his screen and Fury turned his heated gaze upon the mild-mannered mortal.

“I don’t remember-“

“No, you didn’t, but I _trust_ him,” Banner replied, still staring at his work, but Loki caught the edge of warning in the mortal’s tone and it surprised him. “I know _you_ don’t, so I’ll tell you what...”

“Oh?”

“Trust _me_ ,” Banner flicked something off of his screen and Loki caught Lady Jane receiving it, but even she was staring at Banner, her face an unreadable expression of emotions. To his chagrin, he also noticed Thor staring inquisitively at Banner.

Fury stayed silent and Loki knew that the man who loved to be in command and in charge of everything was reevaluating his options. For someone who had the same one-eye as Odin, he was certainly _not_ adept at keeping power. Something seemed to pass through Fury as he turned away; accepting Banner’s words and Loki shot him another smirk as he approached Thor.

Loki turned back to his spell as Fury and Thor talked in a low voices. He knew he could easily cast a spell to enhance his hearing, but he did not care for what they were saying, having somewhat guessed the Director’s purpose here. Thor and Banner both wore the earpieces that had been given to the others and had occasionally been communicating with the rest of their merry little band, and he had a feeling that the battle was not going as well as Fury had hoped if his presence was any indication.

He looked up briefly from his work to see Thor shaking his head adamantly before making several gestures, two of them towards his corner, one towards Lady Jane before crossing his arms across his chest and reiterated whatever he was saying. Fury shook his head and gestured with his arms before Banner looked up from his workstation and shuffled over to join in. The situation in Tǿnsberg must have escalated greatly if they needed Thor’s added power and Mjolnir…

Loki looked back down at his work and unraveled a particularly nasty one he had been teasing to release in the last ten minutes and smiled a little when it was free before flicking it away. He looked up again as the door hissed close, the snapping of Fury’s long coat marking his departure.

“Is it really that bad?” Lady Jane asked quietly as silence reigned in the lab once more.

“Tǿnsberg was where the Tesseract was housed long before it was stolen by a group called HYDRA,” Thor explained and Loki realized that was why the place sounded familiar. The lore spoken during feasts always said that no one would be able to find the Tesseract, having been hidden under the very noses of those looking for it.

“Isn’t that the same group that Captain America used to fight?” Lady Jane asked and Thor nodded.

“I believe so, but I am not too sure,” he replied and looked at Loki, “perhaps Thanos is looking for other things there that may have been hidden there long before my time.”

Loki shrugged before turning back to his spell. As if Thor expected him to know Thanos’ secrets. His own had been ferreted out by him and it still left a curdling distaste within him to have been so… _free_ with his knowledge and expecting a conquest in return. The Chitauri had been utterly useless and had been promised to be a formidable force. At the same time, he could _feel_ Thor’s helplessness in turning down Director Fury. It was much different than Romanoff’s displeasure when he refused to go help the others, but at the same time, he could sense it in a similar manner like before.

Loki knew that in due time Thor would probably start pacing, like he did whenever the Warriors Three and Lady Sif were on a dangerous adventure or mission the Allfather had sent them on without Thor. And if true to form, Thor would end up finding some hapless table with a lot of silverware, food, or even just décor on it and upend it; much like he did after his coronation had been interrupted by Frost Giants in the Vaults. Thor would be in an irritable mood and while Loki would have loved to have pulled and plucked at those strings to make Thor seem a lot more idiotic than believed, especially in front of his Lady Jane, he knew that his own limits would be reached before he could take any pleasure in Thor’s discomfort.

It would be easier then, to let Thor go than to string and draw him out like a perfectly tuned instrument. Still…he refused to return to the battlefield, portal or no portal. Not with Thanos sitting there, like a spider ready to pounce and eat him alive. His option of moving through the shadows was closed to him now, until he regained his strength, and he knew that he was not at his full strength, not by a long shot.

He glanced up at Banner, remembering his recently spoken words. There was a ring of truth in those words and Loki had not detected any falsehoods. But it did not seem like Banner was treating him in a sympathetic and sycophantic manner as he thought the others had, treating him much like Romanoff did – a strange indifference that he did not know the man with the monster within was capable of showing. A quick glance at Thor who was now listening with some intent to whatever was being said in his earpiece told him that Thor was troubled. Tables would probably start to upend soon…

“You can go Thor,” he called out as he stared back down at his spell and felt all eyes turn towards him.

“What-“

“Banner is an adequate substitute for your presence as well as Romanoff’s,” he did not look up as Thor took a step towards him, but conjured a dagger and held it up and heard Thor stop where he was. Good, he was still learning.

“Wait, is he _ordering you_ -“

“Of course I am silly girl,” he threw a withering look at Lady Jane and saw her meet that look with a defiant one of her own.

“Jane-“

“No, Thor, _he_ can’t be ordering and threatening you with a dagger even-“

“Jane, it is fine,” Thor interrupted her gently before looking at Loki, “Loki, are you sure?”

He raised an eyebrow, his expression conveying the silent statement that he would not repeat himself and Thor nodded, but Loki caught the slight hint of a smile appearing on his lips. Oh, there was no way Thor would have the last laugh of this and he threw a look at Banner.

“Besides, if things truly get out of hand, the monster can smash things around,” he said and a second later Banner laughed, long, loud and deep as Lady Jane’s eyes widened with shock while Thor only stared at him.

“A-As you wish,” he shook his head in bewilderment before turning to talk to Banner. Loki studied his spell once more and pulled off another damaged skein. Moments later, he heard the door open and close and knew that Thor had left. He felt the fear seize him again, as it had when Thor had first left and Romanoff was ‘bidden to watch him’, but tamped down on it. He would not give into the _terror_.

* * *

“So,” the Lady Jane said loudly and Loki knew that she was addressing him, “do you have anything to say?” They had been working for the hour in relative silence since Thor had left the Helicarrier. Banner had declared that he had almost isolated the way to find portals, but needed an actual portal forming, not one that had already formed, to test it.

It was too easy for him to continue to finish peeling the damaged skeins off of the spell than answer her. He supposed that her cleverness was limited by her capacity to understand only certain things, and conversation was a blunt as Thor’s…and not as appealing to manipulate without much effort.

“Really, nothing to say, not even an oh-sorry-for-screwing-up-Dr.-Selvig’s-brain-because-I’m-too-full-of-myself-to-even-give-two-shits-about-him,” she threw at him, anger coloring her words and Loki continued to ignore her. Just what did his brother see in her that had him so smitten? Or perhaps he saw her like one of the courtiers, easy to please and easy to dismiss once they had lost favor as some had. She was, after all, mortal and would lose her youthfulness in the mere span of several years.

“Jane-“

“No, I’m sorry Bruce, but I’ve been holding myself back because of Thor. Because _he_ at least _wants_ to have a semblance of a relationship with this asshole here,” he could feel the heat of her gaze on him, but brushed it aside.

Her opinion was worthless, though he was rather curious about her relationship to the Selvig man who clearly had a greater understanding of the Tesseract than any of them. Then again, he remembered Director Fury saying that Lady Jane had been asked to study the sceptre they had taken off of him and she seemed to be familiar with the Bifrost concepts…and thus perhaps had knowledge of the Tesseract’s capabilities.

“And now he’s not even owning up to what he did to Erik! He’s still having hours of therapy, of psychosomatic treatments that I don’t even know will get him back to normal!” she said, her voice trembling with barely contained anger, “What the hell did you do to him, you self-proclaimed Trickster God?!”

“I did not do anything,” he flicked off the last of the damaged skeins and twirled the spell in his hands, smiling down at it, “the Tesseract merely showed him the knowledge needed-“

“That’s bullshit and you know it as well as I do,” she interrupted him, “he-“

“Was not under my full control nor was directed to do anything _he did not want to do_ ,” he did not quite look at her, but was able to see her through his screen as he studied the patterns and pulled off a long and unnecessary jagged line on the monitor. “After all, if he was fully under my control, there would have been no failsafe to close the portal and the Chitauri would have kept coming through. My victory would have been complete.”

“Your victory…” there was a very unladylike snort from her and he saw her glaring at him. Somehow, the fire in her eyes reminded him very much like Sif whenever she was angry, but he reminded himself that she was just a mere mortal and did not have Sif’s somewhat meager wordsmithing abilities. “It still doesn’t excuse what you did to my friend and my mentor.”

“Ah, so he was your friend,” Loki snuck a look at Banner and saw him rubbing his eyes, but did not seem to be turning a shade of green. He looked back at the Lady Jane before sending the completed algorithm pattern over to Banner’s workstation as he released the spell. He could feel exhaustion tugging at the edges of his senses once again, but aside from magical exhaustion, there was also physical exhaustion, having carefully plucked each strand and weave from the contaminated spell to restore it to its full glory, “This is what the shielding is supposed to look like.”

“Oh, uh, thanks! That’s great work and it’s really appreciated Loki,” Banner seemed utterly gleeful at what he had sent and Loki suspected that the scientist wanted something to distract him. He, too, wanted something to distract the man who had the inner green monster within him, but would never say it out loud as he flicked a couple of screens away so he could have a perfect view of Lady Jane through his own workstation.

“Now then,” he saw her brace herself and almost laughed at the defiant unease that appeared on her face, but was hastily covered up, “I may be the Liesmith, but my words are true. Dr. Selvig _wanted_ power. He wanted the indescribable knowledge the Tesseract was not willing to give him until _I_ told it to. And like all beings who crave knowledge of the sorts, he was willing to sacrifice something for that knowledge; in this case, his very being to help design a field to sustain the Tesseract’s power. Perhaps during the course of this, as I had been captured by your beloved Thor’s Avengers, he discovered to his horror what his price was for that knowledge and then sought a way to atone for that misstep. But the question comes in the form, is it a misstep or is it only a _perceived_ misstep? There are always three sides to any argument, the side presented to you, the side you see, and the truth.”

“You mind controlled-“

“I only opened up his mind to the possibilities and gave it a means to communicate to that which he always wanted to unlock,” Loki shrugged. He had to admit, controlling Barton had been an exercise over his own mental powers, controlling Selvig, not so much. The man was clearly revolted as to what happened, but his curiosity and thirst for the Tesseract’s secrets overrode his sensibilities, and thus made it easier for Loki to control and maintain control over Selvig until he felt his consciousness snap in his mind after the man of iron blasted the Tesseract’s barrier field.

“That doesn’t excuse you for what you did-“

“And what excuse do I need from mere mortals like yourself?” he asked, “I will give Selvig his credit for having the coherency to fight and build a means to disable the Tesseract’s field, but only that. He _wanted_ that power…no matter the cost.”

“You’re a monster,” Lady Jane said and Loki smiled easily, unwilling to let the comment hurt him as much he knew it did.

When Romanoff said it when he had been in the glass prison not built for him, he had brushed it off easily and had embraced it. However, for some odd reason, having it come from the petite, tiny Lady Jane hurt. He supposed that it was because she was Thor’s Lady Jane and he could hear his brother’s annoying voice pleading through her not to call himself a monster. How peculiar his mind associated her with Thor’s inane voice so easily.

“I have been called worst,” he kept the smile on his face and noted out of the corner of his eye Banner frowning. But the mortal said nothing, holding his tongue instead of foolishly spilling it forth like Thor or even Stark for that matter.

However, a second later, the frown Banner wore on his face suddenly morphed into shock before he touched his ear, “Wait, what? Say that again?” He quickly tapped his screen with furious finger strokes before Rogers’ voice filled the room.

“-portal forming-is more Chitauri…” Rogers’ voice was cutting out as static filled the air.

“-not a portal my friends,” Thor’s booming voice returned and Loki could hear a sense of triumph in it, “it is the Bifrost-“

Just as Thor’s triumphant words rang within the lab alarms suddenly blared. Loki jumped a little at the sound as he felt the sudden onslaught of something tingling in the back of his neck; little phantom-like touches creeping across his skin, their feather-like brush-

“Oh shit,” Banner cursed and Loki saw Lady Jane’s eyes widen in fear as she suddenly looked beyond his shoulder, “It works, and there’s a portal all right-“

Loki suddenly felt the all-consuming _terror_ that had been dogging him since Montreal rush forth, overwhelming him, paralyzing him-

“-its right behind you!”

He whipped his head around and came face to face with icy, inhuman blue eyes.

_Thanos…_

_I found you…my pet._

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Cliffhanger! Don’t let the bligesnipes fall!

 


	18. Chapter 18

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 18_

 

Phil Coulson had only see the Bifrost activating from a distance, and even then, most of it had been obscured by the dry, dusty, desert ground of New Mexico. However, the Norse myths called it a _rainbow_ bridge, not a-dusty-bridge-that-was-all-brown-and-ugly and so he was inclined to believe it…until now. Rainbow was _not_ the word he would have used to describe the Bifrost’s power. It was more along the lines of _meteoric fields of stars_ or something more sophisticated and loquacious had he had the time to pick up his jaw from the ground. There was also the howl that sounded like charging Valkyries or something like that and this close to the activation site, he had throw up his hands in an effort to stem the fierce wind that had blown debris, pollen, dust, and all sorts of sundry things into the air.

As soon as the field cleared and his eyes stopped seeing the literal stars the Bifrost was producing, he took note of a pair of enormous tree-trunk sized blue leg in front of his eyes before look up into the demonic red eyes that towered over him. There was the hint of a toothy smile before the _giant_ monstrous being leaped over, the cool breeze of something icy forming over his head, and roared a war cry.

Coulson twisted around in time to see the monstrous…thing slice several Chitauri in half and roared out something unintelligible that had him nearly covering his ears except for the fact that he realized he still held his gun and brought it to bear. He pulled the trigger and directed its deadly energy beam towards several other Chitauri who were swarming him and the monstrosity. The blue…thing looked back at him and Coulson swore he saw the glint of hilarity and base acknowledgment before the creature turned around again and shouted something.

Several voices answered behind Coulson before more blue…monster aliens he decided, leapt past him, all with ice-like spears, daggers, swords, forming in their hands as they charged and attacked. The neigh of a horse made him turn back to the Bifrost site to see, of all things, an eight-legged _horse_ rearing as men, dressed in armor similar to Thor’s charged forth along with the blue monster aliens. Their armor gleamed gold and bright. He noticed that the blue monsters’ weapons were very animalistic and feral; the weapons held by the golden-armored men were more refined, sophisticated, and pointy as hell as he stumbled back and out of the way of one particular warrior who charged like he had not been there.

“Father!” Thor’s voice boomed out across the battlefield and Coulson saw him hurrying towards the rider of the eight-legged steed and Coulson knew from an instant, that this was the fabled Odin Allfather…and looked exactly like the Norse myths described him as such. He was resplendent in a golden-silver armor, a golden-metallic eye patch hiding the eye he supposedly had lost to gain infinite knowledge. One black raven perched on top of an intricate spear that had to be Gungnir, while another perched next to his ear, seemingly whispering more knowledge gained even though he did not see its beak move.

“Whoa what-“

“Holy shit! Where did they-“

“They’re allies!” Coulson called out quickly as he saw both Natasha and Clint leaping out of the way, having holed up in a perch of sorts to stave off the recent onslaught of Chitauri.

“They’re-“ whatever Clint was about to say was cut off by Thor.

“Father! The Jotuns-“ he turned back to Thor as the burly warrior looked up at Odin and he saw the Allfather’s mouth move, but there was no sound, not even a peep that was picked up by Thor’s proximity to the Allfather. That…was a neat trick, Coulson thought, and he wondered if the Allfather knew that everyone was trying to listen in.

“Yeah! Wipe the floor with them!” Stark’s voice crowed and Coulson looked up to see Iron Man flying above them, having the best view of the situation.

“My friends do not harm the Jotuns-“

“I take it there the blue guys with the awesome looking ice picks of doom?” Stark asked as he dive bombed several Chitauri and took them out before Captain America’s shield sliced the heads off of several more.

“…Yes,” Thor sounded a little bemused by Stark’s choice of words and Coulson hefted his gun, ready to fire at the Chitauri once more. Tǿnsberg had all but been evacuated by the Norweigan military force, but there had already been casualties and the place was half-covered in rubble. The initial Chitauri force had been minimal, until they suddenly found themselves swarmed and Coulson had called Fury to see if there was any other back up they could get from any of the militaries. The Norwegian military itself was hard pressed to help them and it was only due to the arrival of Thor that they had at least pushed them back again.

However, it had seemed that there was no end to the Chitauri as they surged forward again and had all but forced them to bunker down for the last half-hour or so. Thor had explained to them that Banner was keeping an eye on his wayward brother and while Coulson had wondered why Banner was chosen, he did not deny the efficiency of the situation – if Loki decided to betray them at the last minute and renege on the geas-contract he had negotiated with Fury on, then Banner was perhaps the only one, aside from Thor, who was able to stop him.

The sudden war cry that surged from both the blue monstrous aliens, the Jotuns, and from what was clearly a host of Asgardians, or Aesir, he supposed – though Coulson didn’t know why they had two names – made heft his gun again and fire another volley. He could feel as if something was bolstering him, giving him strength to charge forward, not with reckless abandon, but with cool, calm rationality and fired several more times. He wiped out a cluster of Chitauri and saw both Jotun and Asgardian surge into the hole he created while the rest of the Avengers cleared paths or helped support those that cleared paths before them.

“Thor!” a feminine voice shouted near him and he saw a flash of scarlet-silver armor and leather rush past him before two Chitauri were impaled upon a double-bladed sword. Just as quickly the sword was removed and four heads sliced before the moving blur stopped and the only word Coulson could think of the dark-haired woman standing near him with her blades dripping in purple blood was Valkyrie. He recognized her from her brief visit the last time they had arrived.

“Sif! You have arrived!” Thor landed near by and grinned before blasting several Chitauri with his hammer.

“Not only her!” a melodious voice called out and Coulson saw the rest of the ones Thor had called the Warriors Three after they had arrived in New Mexico before the Destroyer had leveled the small town.

Agent Malcolm was right to name them Xena, Jackie Chan, and Robin Hood…he was inclined to believe after he had called it in the first time. Though he supposed the more…hefty one was perhaps Gimli…which he reminded himself would never mention in front of Stark or Clint after Stark’s nickname for Agent Barton was Legolas. Clint would never forgive him if that nickname spread like wildfire within SHIELD.

“My friends!” Thor held his arms wide in a greeting, incidentally smacking a Chitauri several feet back and Coulson shook his head before turning back to the battle.

However, he found that he did not need to fire his weapon anymore as the remaining Chitauri’s cries died off abruptly, several Jotuns laughing as they cut the last ones down. He glanced over to see Odin raise an arm up and something suddenly snapped and popped before a visible ripple spread from him. Coulson felt it pass through him, but it did nothing except he saw multiple flashes of light scattered across the battlefield. He realized that Odin had closed the portals like Loki did, but instead had done it in one fell swoop. Coulson allowed himself to relax a little and lowered his gun, propping it onto the floor as he sighed and assessed the battlefield.

“Phil?” Clint’s voice came over the comm. and he looked towards the direction where Barton was lowering his bow, Natasha next to him still wary, but rather more curious about the blue giants that were milling about.

“Director Fury, the threat in Tǿnsberg has been neutralized,” he ignored Barton’s unspoken question and tapped his earpiece.

Static answered him and Coulson frowned.

“Director Fury?” he glanced up and directed his earpiece towards the direction of the Helicarrier some hundred miles away, wondering if it had been damaged during the hours-long shootout. A frown formed on his face as he turned towards Clint and Natasha and saw Natasha nod at his direction before running towards the quinjet, passing by others and leaping nimbly over bodies and debris.

The clip clop of footsteps alerted him to Odin’s approach as he left the communications to Director Fury to Natasha and turned to see the King of Asgard riding up towards Thor. He watched as Thor turned from greeting his friends and Coulson walked a little closer, curious, but also a bit wary. He prided himself on easily reading people and using that to manipulate the situation to his advantage, but there was something about Odin that screamed caution. A quick look at Rogers told him that he was not the only one to approach Odin warily, Captain America hefting his bloodied shield a bit.

The metallic clomp of boots behind him told him that Stark had landed and looked back and shook his head a little before Stark could even open his mouth and saw a frown on Iron Man’s face.

“Father-“ Thor started, but was cut off by a look from Odin.

“Where is Loki?” Odin’s voice was but a mere whisper, but it was as if he was talking directly into Coulson’s ear.

“He-he is on SHIELD’s Helicarrier-“ Thor looked confused at the stern expression on Odin’s face, “I had followed your orders to the letter, Allfather, and in lieu of my absence, had left him in the care of Dr. Banner who is one of the best mortals to understand-“

“You should have brought him here-“

“Loki refused to come-“

“He should not have been left in the care of mortals-“

“Dr. Banner was best suited-“ Thor looked to be at a loss for words and Coulson felt a little sorry for him as he coughed and stepped up, bringing Odin’s gaze upon him.

He met that gaze with a simple one of his own and smiled congenially, refusing to let Odin’s penetrating gaze, so very much like Fury’s at times, unnerve him. There was something…unnatural about Odin’s gaze, as if he was able to ferret out the very secrets one kept to themselves. “Agent Phil Coulson, King Odin,” he introduced himself and Odin tilted his head a little in acknowledgment, “Your son has the uncanny ability to see the best in people and I believe if he left Loki in Dr. Banner’s care-“

“It is not the matter of putting _my son_ under a mortal’s watch, but rather it was my hope that he be here,” Odin said quietly before turning back to Thor, “you know not of what you have done, Thor. I must return-“

“But Father!”

“But nothing,” Odin heeled his horse and it danced a little as he turned it around, “Loki was a foolish boy who does not know when to heed my orders! And you, you are foolish enough to allow your inner whims of a _child_ to cloud your heart. You both are reckless and Asgard may pay the price!”

“Father-“

“Lord Faendral, Lord Volstagg, fortify the defenses! Lord Hogun and Lady Sif, send a message to Queen Frigga that she must reinforce the wards on the Vault! We return to Asgard-“

“Father what has happened?!” for a moment, Coulson saw that the thousand plus-year-old blond-haired Thunder God looked so much like a lost child before the image passed and he shuddered.

But before Odin can answer, Natasha’s voice came over the earpiece where she was in the quinjet, “Phil, its Code Omega.”

“Wait, what? What’s Code Omega-“

“Oh fuck,” Clint swore over Stark’s confusion and Coulson felt something drop like lead in his stomach at the words. Code Omega…the last thing he wanted to hear because of a communications cut off.

“Agent Coulson?” Rogers’ hand landed on Phil’s shoulder as he shook his head and tapped his earpiece as he breathed out quietly. Code Omega meant…well, it meant a lot of things, but it meant for him to do something he really did not want to do, but had to since he knew that Code Omega meant that Hill and Fury were unavailable or compromised.

His title was ‘Agent’; a mere generalization to all those who worked in the field for SHIELD. His pay grade about the same as Sitwell’s and perhaps a bit lower than Clint and Natasha’s considering that they were more of the physical ‘agent’ than he was. Fury had even offered him a different title to go with his duties, but Coulson did not want any special treatment. It was better this way, he had rationalized to Fury the day he was given his duties. Officially one thing, unofficially and utterly off the record save for a very particular string of numbers and codes, another…

“All units, this is Agent Phil Coulson, authorization override alpha-foxtrot-two-six-one-niner-golf. Head immediately back to the Helicarrier and engage any hostiles,” he turned off his all-call to the broadband frequency that would transmit it to any SHIELD forces not engaged in clandestine activities and rebroadcast several times until he rescinded the override.

He looked at everyone, Thor included, “The Helicarrier’s been compromised by the Chitauri.”

“Then it is as I feared,” Odin’s lips thinned, “Loki has been taken by Thanos.”

* * *

Thor had not even waited for the rest of the Avengers to fly back on the quinjet before he had immediately taken off, after the Allfather had left via Bifrost along with his allied host of Jotuns and Asgardians to make preparations. He had taken Hogun, Volstagg, and Faendral with him, leaving the Lady Sif on the off chance that Odin’s fears were unfounded. Iron Man had immediately taken off after Thor, hoping to catch him before any significant damage was done if Code Omega had been enacted and Thor landed to hostile SHIELD personnel.

Coulson stood at the threshold between the cockpit and the bay area of the quinjet, staring straight ahead as the dot that was the Helicarrier grew larger. He could hear the shuffling of the others behind him; could feel the stares of Stark and Rogers on him, the questions that both probably had. He could even feel Natasha and Clint’s unspoken stares and questions even though both paid strict attention to their instruments and radio chatter.

“Scout Six and Seven arrived, Scout Delta reports that there’s obstruction on the main bridge and a shape seems to be on one of the panes, but she cannot get any closer without potentially compromising herself,” Natasha reported and Coulson nodded in acknowledgment.

“Thor don’t do anything foolish,” he thought he saw storm clouds gather over the Helicarrier which had thankfully descended during Code Omega to the proper atmospheric level, still cold, but breathable for the rest of them to land – or a potential trap if one wanted to look another way.

“Scout teams do not engage Thor, repeat, do not engage Thor,” he called over the comm. again, “Stark, report.”

“Its okay buddy, just…hey, we can probably fly- Whoa…” Stark went silent and Coulson narrowed his eyes a little as the Helicarrier’s bulk was closer than before and he thought he saw tiny pinpoints of light that signaled where Thor and Stark had been flying.

“This…this looks like ice,” Thor’s voice was hesitant and pained and Coulson grimaced.

“Is that the head of a Chitauri-oh ew,” Stark made exaggerated throwing up noises and Coulson resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “but seriously…its like frozen into the ice! That’s ice, right?”

“I…” Thor fell silent as Coulson grabbed onto a hand hold to steady himself as Clint banked the quinjet over the Helicarrier’s runway.

“Scout Foxtrot reporting no contacts, we are cleared,” a cool masculine voice came over.

“Report from Scouts Alpha, Bravo, Three, and Ten, they are on their way, ETA about forty-five minutes,” a voice he identified as from the aforementioned Scout Seven said and Coulson nodded mostly to himself.

“Scout Six, Foxtrot, and Niner, stay in the air and report any abnormalities. Seven, report any further communications from other Scout teams as they signal in. Scout Two, land at the aft and come up from the port side. Delta, starboard,” he tapped Clint on the shoulder, “we’ve got the main way.”

“Got it,” Clint banked again as two other quinjets mirrored their movements on either side of the Helicarrier.

Coulson turned from the cockpit as he checked his firearm and spare cartridges before flicking the safety off. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hated Code Omega, hated everything that went with it and _hated_ what position it put him in. He did not deny that he was rather pleased that he had been chosen by Fury himself, but at the same time, wished that Code Omega had never been created or enacted.

He just wanted to be simply known as Agent Phil Coulson, a member of SHIELD. Not…this…

A small, but firm hand on his shoulder made him turn his head a little to see Natasha smiling her ever mysterious smile, but one he also knew that she only reserved for her closest friends – it was the smile that she always used to reassure others and Coulson returned her smile with a crooked one of his own as he also saw Clint shrugging, fiddling with his arrow pack. They both had his back no matter what and both seemed to have known that he was uncomfortable with the turn of events, but was making the best of the situation.

“Agent?” Rogers’ quiet voice told him to focus on the task at hand and he nodded sharply, glad for the support from his living idol even though he had only spoken one word.

“I am ready,” Lady Sif stood near the ramp, sword held at the ready, even though he could see that she was utterly confused and had spent most of the flight back to the Helicarrier bemused at the quinjet’s capabilities. There were unspoken questions shining in her eyes, but she composed herself rather admirably, a soldier and warrior first, curiosities to be spoke of later.

Clint slammed the button to open the ramp and immediately the wind gust into the quinjet itself, but Coulson plowed forth, noting in the far distance Scout Two and Delta’s tiny forms headed towards their entrance points.

“Stark!” he called out and saw Iron Man flying overhead before hovering above the ventilation shaft, a hand pointed at it. Thor landed next to it, his hammer crackling.

“Two in place,” the leader of Scout Two called over.

“Delta in place,” Delta Leader echoed.

Coulson pointed his handgun towards the vent while he heard the others ready their weapons behind him. “Go,” he called out and Stark fired a repulsor blast at the vent, blowing it sky high before Thor called down lightning to preemptively strike in the hole. Even before the lightning dissipated, Clint was rushing towards the gaping hole and pointed his arrow downward.

“It’s clear,” he called out as he fired a rope down into the bowels and anchored it as Natasha slid down it, Stark diving in with his suit followed by Thor landing rather heavily. Coulson took a quick look around as Lady Sif and Captain America headed down and saw that the other two teams were doing the same before he jumped down.

“Romanoff, take Stark and Lady Sif through the south corridor and make your way to the bridge from there. Clint, you and Thor through the armory-“

“That’s because you don’t trust me enough not to steal the Destroyer weapon you like so much,” Iron Man commented and Coulson glared at him before he shrugged and waved an absent goodbye as he followed Natasha.

“Delta found hostiles! I repeat Delta found hostiles! Hanger bay! This is Agent Yang, sit rep soldier!” Delta team leader went silent for a few minutes before Coulson heard her activate her comm., “Sir, we found survivors here. They’re holed up pretty good, so we do not need back up at the moment.”

“I’m sending Scout Two your way just as a precaution,” he said.

“Scout Two acknowledges. No hostiles encountered,” Scout Two leader called over.

“Let’s go,” he called and heard Rogers fall in step behind him. It felt a little more than odd to be giving orders to his idol and even odder that Rogers had the military training to go through to listen to _his_ orders of all things, but at the same time they both knew that neither would question the oddity of it – not with so many lives at stake. Rogers was not officially on SHIELD’s payroll, or an agent, but he had been given an extensive list of all the protocols on the hunch that he would be joining SHIELD since he literally had nowhere else to go. Code Omega had only been a footnote mention, like all other agents’ packets, and what protocols were to follow if it had been enacted.

Coulson’s own packet was just a little bit different…

“My overrides are not showing any camera feeds, or if they are, they’re definitely offline. Heat signatures are weird, going in and out. I think the ice, or whatever’s obscuring the bridge is throwing thermal sensors off,” Stark reported in his ear and Coulson nodded as he and Rogers swept their path for any signs of Chitauri or agents in need of help. The south passageway led directly to the server rooms before rounding up to the bridge. It housed many of SHIELD’s server networks, and super computers and while he knew that if Fury came out of this alive, he would probably be livid at the access that Coulson had given Stark. But at the same time, his defense was that he was only following Code Omega to exact specifications.

Eliminate all potential hostile threats from SHIELD headquarters.

And if that called for Stark to have easy access instead of hacking his way in like he had done the last time, then so be it. They swept the corridors for any signs of hostiles and Coulson noted that protocols were followed, doors automatically locked, potential occupants inside huddling out of sight of the windows for any one to peer into. But there was more than one instance where the doors had been broken into, glass smashed, bodies strewn everywhere, the moans of the wounded survivors trying so hard to keep quiet.

He had shaken his head at Rogers’ gesture to help the wounded before the soldier reluctantly nodded and followed him to the bridge. It was unfortunate, but necessary. If more had arrived, he would have immediately sent them on medical detail, but as of right now, there were too many variables and Code Omega had not been lifted – which meant medical personnel were locked up tight.

“Hold up,” Clint suddenly called out over the comm. and Coulson stopped, staring at nothing in particular, but at the same time became instantly alert.

“That is not Chitauri weapons fire,” Thor rumbled.

“Yeah, it looks…fused,” Clint suddenly hissed and yelped in pain, “Ow, ow! Geez, what the-“

“Stand back Archer,” there was the sound of shuffling.

“No, wait Thor it’s kind of hot-“

“It is, but it has faded,” Thor confirmed, “this seems to be my brother’s leftover work.”

“Sif’s asking if Loki, what was it…spelled? Yeah, spelled the doors.” Natasha said and Coulson frowned, but kept moving forward until he came upon the main door to the bridge and saw a weird wavy blackened outline around the sealed areas of the door.

“Yes, I believe so, but the signature is fading,” Thor replied, “if these were active barriers, you would not have had a hand to shoot with, Agent Barton.”

“…Thanks…”

“They’re wavy, black, and are tracing the edges of the doors right?” he asked as he saw Rogers reach out with a tentative gloved hand and press upon the blackened parts, but the super soldier did not draw his hand back as if it had been scalded.

“I think I can pull it open,” Rogers said as he tugged at the immovable handle that was on the door experimentally.

“Do it,” Coulson nodded and watched as Rogers positioned himself to force the door open.

“Hey, stand back, I’m gonna laser this thing open too,” Stark called out absently over the comm. and Coulson knew that he was talking to both Natasha and Lady Sif.

Over on Thor’s side, there was the barest of grunts and Coulson knew that the Thunder God was already at work like Rogers trying to force the door open. He looked back to Captain America to see his expression a grimace as the metal started to creak and Coulson stepped to the side to at least provide a decent cover as he raised his gun. He would have carried the Destroyer-weapon with him had it not been that heavy. Time was of the essence and the corridors leading to the bridge were fairly narrow and the weapon had been designed for a wide spread of fire.

“I…think I got it,” Rogers said and Coulson stepped forward, nodding as Rogers suddenly forced the door open with a grunt. He took advantage of the door quickly opening and swept in, covering high, low, and corner points, his eyes automatically registering the destruction and devastation.

There were bodies of SHIELD personnel strewn amongst the sparking consoles, smoke and-

“Coulson!” Sitwell’s voice called out from somewhere to his left and he ducked and rolled on instinct at the warning tone, just in time to see a Chitauri leap from above, trying to spear him as it landed-

And immediately received a face full of Captain America’s shield as it crushed its skull in and it flopped to the ground dead. But Coulson was already moving as scuttled to one of the control stations, spotting several more Chitauri prowling above as they landed, some receiving several arrows, others barbecued by bolts of precisely zapped lightning at the same time smashed into other consoles by repulsor blasts, thrown daggers, and gunfire.

Coulson spotted one and fired at it at the same time someone else across from the other side hit it with a precise headshot. The alien had no chance as it fell to the ground from two headshots as the rest of the Avengers and Lady Sif stomped in, warily looking around.

“Avengers!” Fury’s voice was like a god-send and Coulson could see the others relaxing, the exception being both Clint and Natasha.

“Wait, sir, the Hulk-“ Hill started as she rose up from her hiding position.

“No, no…I’m…I’m f-fine…” a familiar voice called out from a far corner of the bridge and Coulson saw that it was also consequently blackened and scorched beyond recognition. Bruce Banner’s head popped up from one of the smoking remnants of a console and Coulson noted that he was utterly naked except for holding onto a pair of semi-shredded pair of pants.

He frowned and glanced over to Natasha who shook her head, indicating that there were no other threats around. Clint also echoed her movement a second later, having drawn his bow and was looking around, but did not put away his drawn arrow and instead, not quite pointed it at Director Fury.

“Sir,” Coulson approached Fury, his gun still out, but pointed at the ground, “I’m going to have to ask you to key in.”

He could see the brief irritation pass over the Director’s eyes, but at the same time a long suffering sigh escaped Fury’s lips as he glanced back at Hill who had an oddly proud look on her face. It was also then that the rest of the Avengers who did not know much about Code Omega started to look wary again.

“Key code Trinity Beta Niner Niner Zed,” and Coulson finally holstered his gun before a brief smile appeared on his face. Code Omega only meant that an alien incursion had been enacted on the Helicarrier; there was a different code for if any alien incursion or otherwise had ended up possessing the crew’s mind or any of that sort. There was always the chance that it could have gone awry, and that it was really a different Code, but every single SHIELD personnel knew all the Codes, so the chances of not having the real Code broadcasted was lessened. It was not foolproof, but Coulson did not really want to dwell on that at the moment.

“Key signal confirmed Code Omega disabled. Director Fury and Agent Hill are resuming command. Agent Coulson standing down,” he keyed an all-call to the rest of SHIELD, “final orders, all personnel enroute or outside, land and please assist Delta and Two Scouts with hanger bay incursion and clean-up. Medical personnel please report to the bridge.”

“Zed?” Stark asked as soon as he cut his comm. off, “come on! Zed?!”

Hill raised an eyebrow and shrugged as Fury ignored him. Coulson only shook his head as Stark continued to protest. It was Hill’s idea for the final key code, to say Zed instead of Zero and not the fact that she was Canadian. “Frequency zero-two-two, sir,” he murmured to Fury as he watched him step back to whatever remained of his platform overlooking the bridge and began to issue orders. A sense of relief filled him as he saw Fury start to direct medical personnel and others to help with the clean up before he remembered Banner still in the corner and hurried over.

“Bruce!” Stark was the first one there and was propping up a slab that had fallen at an angle.

“Jane!” Coulson neatly side stepped Thor’s charge towards them and saw that the slab had been at an angle to protect Jane Foster who huddled into herself. She sported some minor injuries, but otherwise looked hale and healthier.

“She okay?” Banner was still holding onto the tattered remains of his pants and Coulson realized that he had transformed into the Hulk some time during the Chitauri invasion.

“What happened?” Clint asked as he hung in the back with Natasha who had a blank expression on her face. Coulson knew that she still had her doubts about the Hulk, but at the same time was too professional to let her feelings get in the way.

“I’m fine, Bruce,” Jane Foster stood up on shaky legs, helped up by Thor who looked like he wanted to either crush her in a hug and never let her go or go hit whoever was responsible for her condition. “T-Thank you…”

Banner looked sheepishly away and coughed a little before turning back to Thor, “Thor…Loki…Loki was…”

“My brother is not here,” Thor’s face looked like it could have been carved out of the same thick ice that covered half of the bridge, its jagged, crystalline edges dropping the temperature in the bridge by several degrees.

“T-Thanos…” Banner grimaced, “I think it was Thanos…I mean, the Chitauri-they-the Other Guy-“

“They attacked us in the lab,” it was Jane who continued the narrative, as she looked down at the ground, her grip on Thor’s arm turning her knuckles white, but she sounded steady and sure, “opened a portal right behind him. It was Loki who saved us…throwing something into the portal that made it scream before ushering us out of there. He…he did something to the door – he looked _terrified_ – but at the same time he looked so… Like he was going to kill _something_.”

She shook her head, her matted brown hair falling down her shoulders, obscuring half of her face. “Portals started to open around us and we did the only thing we knew what to do, we ran. Ran all the way to the bridge…I don’t know what Loki said to Fury-“

“-if Fury valued their agreement, he would seal the bridge, because the Chitauri are coming as well as Thanos-“

“-I think that’s when Fury called in something, an Omega? I don’t know,” Jane shuddered, “I saw him do something to the doors, but…it wasn’t enough. Portals opened on the bridge and Bruce…”

“The Other Guy…” Banner looked as worn as Jane.

“Don’t be,” she replied quietly, “if…if you didn’t, I think we would have all been dead. You…you fought the Chitauri only. You didn’t harm us…just…kind of got them off of the others…”

“Yeah…I guess,” Banner grimaced and looked away, “but I don’t think it was enough.”

“You can’t…do anything about that…” Jane fell silent and Coulson reluctantly crouched down in front of her before he reached out and touched her on the shoulder.

“Dr. Foster…we need to know,” he said as he met her brown-eyed gaze.

“It wasn’t going to be enough,” she started again after a second’s pause, “not with the Chitauri pouring through. Everyone, even Loki, everyone fought. Loki held something that glowed blue-white and looked like a cube with hand holds in his hands, freezing the place-“

“…We had wondered where the Casket went...” Thor murmured mostly to himself.

“-But when he…when Thanos appeared again, it was as if everything changed. Loki…he…”

“For a moment, it looked like he was dying,” Banner continued the narrative, “before we realized he was using the geas-contract he made with Fury to his advantage – telling Thanos that the barrier was still up over the Helicarrier and thus was nullifying the contract. But Thanos did something and then Loki didn’t look like he was having a heart attack. I’m not too sure what happened then, but it looked like he was possessed or something, moving so stiffly that we had no idea what was happening.”

“He fought,” Jane murmured, “I saw it…he fought something, something within before he told Thanos that we weren’t worth the time and that we are nothing but parasites. We did not deserve a quick swift death as he intended by arriving here and that Thanos should conquer us last, to break us slowly. He pointed out that if they were to take advantage of the Bifrost activation it meant that the Allfather was sacrificing some of his forces to aid the Avengers and it would be wise to use it to their advantage.”

Coulson could feel the shift of uneasiness and perhaps a bit of guilt from the rest of the Avengers at Thanos’ words. From an outsider perspective, Jane’s words would have been the same acidic words Loki would have thrown to others, but somehow, everyone one of them knew that it was not the case. What Loki had said…had potentially saved SHIELD and spared many lives in the long run…and somehow Coulson knew those words were intended with their same double-meaning that Loki always spoke with. He truly thought that they were parasites and idiotic as a species; pitiful mortals, but at the same time, there was still the lingering question of whether or not he had said those words to get away from the Hulk – judging by the manner in which he always steer cleared of Banner – or was it to stop Thanos from attacking Earth.

And he realized that no one really knew what Loki really meant. Yet, at the same time, Coulson knew that this was the real Trickster God of the Norse myths and deserved the nickname Silvertongue that he professed to have.

“I think…Loki knew all along what was going to happen. And I think somehow, he tried to fight it even though we were too blind to see it,” Banner muttered and Coulson looked up at the doctor; it seemed Banner had made up his mind regarding Loki and looking around at the others from his vantage point, he could see Thor with a contemplative look on his face; the Lady Sif with a definitive frown on her face, and even Captain America looking pensive. Natasha was too professional to show what she was thinking, but Coulson thought that he saw a flicker of regret on her face. Clint and Stark however, looked like they could have been carved from stone.

“Thor,” Banner spoke up again and looked towards the Thunder God, “you’re going back right?”

“Yes,” Thor nodded once as he kept holding Jane’s hand.

“I’m coming with you,” there was something steely and hard in Banner’s eyes, and Coulson immediately knew that there was a lot more that had happened that Banner was not telling; but Banner was not telling anyone any time soon. Just what had happened?

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I’m sorry for all previous cliffhangers (not!). Tee hee. Hurtling towards the final chapters of this story – I’m guessing about either two or three more left. And Odin really needs to learn how to communicate more with his sons…instead of leaving them to guess his intentions – though he does have a fair point about Thor and Loki’s actions – they both are ruled by their hearts, not by practicalities…or maturation that can make them great kings in their own rights.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 19_

 

“I’m coming with you,” in any other situation Bruce would have been vaguely embarrassed that he was still clinging onto the tattered remnants of his clothes after returning to his normal form, but this was not that situation. He expected the surprise on Thor’s face, the opened mouth to ask him ‘why’, but after a second, Thor closed his mouth and seemed to accept his statement without any comment – which surprised Bruce.

“Wait, what?” Tony’s faint exclamation, however, was also anticipated and Bruce turned to answer his friend before someone else spoke up.

“Thor, we should return to the surface of this vessel and call for Heimdall,” the female warrior that had approached with the others after the rest of the Avengers had swept for an all-clear and called off Code Omega, looked grim as she swept her eyes around the half-iced bridge.

“…Jane?” Thor looked apprehensive as he continued to hold Jane’s hand and Bruce saw her take a shuddering deep breath.

She had clearly been in shock, and he would be too in her position; having Chitauri chasing after them, running for their lives to the bridge, the safest place every one of them knew that was on the vessel. All the while, Bruce had been trying to keep the Other Guy at bay, trying to keep his scared anger from releasing him, trying hard not to be affected now by both the burst of fear he smelled from Loki and Jane as they ran. The Other Guy wanted nothing more than to smash the things that were creating the fear, and occasionally the source of the fear as he could not quite control the Other Guy while he was in the forefront, only guiding him through his emotional state. It was only after portals started to appear on the bridge itself that he allowed the Other Guy to emerge with the emotional orders to only kill those who caused the fear from Loki and Jane, making sure to do everything he could to prevent the Other Guy from throwing Loki around…again…

It had been a struggle to keep himself in control of the Other Guy, but it seemed that the Other Guy had come to a conclusion of sorts when Loki brought out a mysterious object that both turned his skin blue, eyes red, and also froze half of the bridge, killing scores of Chitauri. That had been his opportunity to take the rest of the Chitauri and smash them against the glacier-like ice or pounding them into the ice itself – the Other Guy seeing it as an opportunity to use the thickened ice as a way to smash more of those pesky creatures it hated so much.

Then…Thanos showed up and Bruce had lost his precious-willful control over the Other Guy. He could only watch helpless and trapped in his mind as an inexplicable red haze of anger seemed to wash all coherent thought from the Other Guy’s mind, leaving only one thing that angered him…and charged at Thanos. He did not know what kind of alien Thanos was, but he also knew that the Other Guy intensely disliked him. However, it was futile as Thanos had suddenly held out his hand towards him and Bruce had found himself back in his own body, crashing painfully through numerous consoles. It was only reacting on instinct that he had pulled the metal slab over Jane who had been half hiding, half trying to help beat the Chitauri with a handgun she had found on a body. That instinct had also saved her from being cooked alive as he had found himself engulfed in a bolts of energy, magic, something he did not know, the incredible pain stunning him.

It had left him lying in the blackened pile of consoles he had used to cushion his landing before he saw Loki try to attack Thanos. However, a second later he had he inexplicably frozen in place. He had thought fear had paralyzed the Trickster, but it was only when Loki spoke, strained and stumbling slowly towards Thanos that he realized that Thanos had someone possessed or forced Loki to move against his will.

One would have been forgiven for the madness that seemingly appeared on his face, an open-weeping laugh as Loki choked and fought against invisible restraints, all the while Thanos, taller and heftier than the Other Guy, red-skinned and smiling maliciously, looked gleeful. The Chitauri had swarmed then, pinning Fury and the others down in place, killing those that were no so fortunate with sounds that if Bruce had not been used to hearing from the Other Guy, sounded like wet pulp smacked against metallic consoles.

Loki had then called them parasites, his fingers digging into his own skin, before he ripped a gash across his own cheek with his nails. Bruce had watched as the arm seemingly had a life of its own, trembling outstretched and dripping blood from its nails, before the arm snapped to Loki’s side. He had seemingly returned to the mad, terrorizing Loki the Other Guy _hated_ and had declared a puny god before walking away from his battered body at Stark Tower. Loki continued to sneer that they were not worth the time to kill them with a blink of an eye; that they all deserved a slow torture for their crimes against their betters – that if Thanos allowed it, would have him decide his punishment.

There were truth in those words and Bruce had almost believed it except for the _unusual_ caution and scoffing mind the Other Guy had sent forth within him that made him realize what Loki was really doing. He could feel the Other Guy trying to come forward again, and Bruce was willing to let him take over if only to stop the petrified, yet so resigned look Loki wore underneath the mad laugh he wore on his face, but somehow he could not transform. As if something had been blocking him…

And Thanos, in the middle of all that, had been smiling and Bruce had felt the anger building within him; the anger that he _could not willingly_ unleash because somehow he knew that it was _Thanos_ that was holding him back. The irony was that, he sometimes wished it had happened, but this was one of the rare times it was inconvinent – and the Other Guy agreed wholeheartedly. He wanted to _rip_ that smile off of that son of a bitch’s face and shove into Death’s face, to show Thanos that he had no control over anyone or anything – that he was not all-powerful and that there would always been others to fight him. But most of all, he knew what Loki was doing, even though he believed in his previously spoken words. And so Bruce wanted to repay that debt; he owed it to Loki to at least make the attempt to stop him from doing Thanos’ bidding with an unwilling mind.

To give him his second chance.

“I’m fine…go,” Jane looked up and smiled, even though tears were forming at the corner of her eyes, “just…just be careful, okay? Thanos…he’s…”

“I will, and I will return, milady,” Thor briefly kissed her hand before medical personnel that had landed swarmed the bridge and he stepped back to allow them to wrap her in a blanket.

Bruce waved away those approaching him, noting that they all wore some looks of trepidation and saw Thor turn to head back up to the top of the Helicarrier and stepped forward, adjusting the remnants of his pants discreetly. “Wait,” he called out and saw Thor turn back.

“Your help is appreciated, Dr. Banner, but-“

“No, I mean it,” he stepped forward again, but was halted by a medic handing him a fresh set of clothes and quickly ducked behind several ruined consoles that were sort of standing, but standing enough to give him some privacy to quickly discard the remnants of his pants and change into a fresh shirt and pants. “I want to go with you.”

“Mortals-“

“I don’t care if I’m not allowed up there, and I’m pretty sure at this point I don’t really qualify as a mortal…considering…well…you know,” he had been a little embarrassed in the aftermath of his confession of a suicide attempt and the Other Guy stopping it, “but I want to help. Besides, I’d like to think that I’m one of the few people capable of stopping Loki.”

“What is he talking-“

“I have quick hands,” he smiled bracingly at the female warrior’s question.

Thor seemed to consider his words carefully and Bruce met the blond-haired warrior’s gaze squarely with his own. He allowed the anger that had been building within him show through his eyes, the indignation, horror, and general disgust at what had happened to bleed through him. After what seemed like minutes, but was perhaps only a few seconds, Thor nodded once and turned around to leave, the female warrior falling behind his step, too well-trained to ask any questions.

“Wait, Bruce-“

“Dr. Banner-“

“I’m going,” he did not look at Tony, but instead, directed his words to Fury who had started to approach them after finishing issuing his orders to the rest of SHIELD. “Just think of it as a chance to unleash the Other Guy on aliens who haven’t had the misfortune of encountering the Other Guy if you’re so worried. And…” he hesitated for a moment – he could see and smell the remnant fear that had been on the bridge of the Helicarrier as the Other Guy had rampaged after the Chitauri, the unspoken thought of if all Chitauri had been defeated, were the hapless humans next? Would he be responsible for killing Fury, Hill, and others of SHIELD like he almost had when he had lost control of the Other Guy a little over two weeks ago? Instead, he swallowed the thought and gave Fury a wan smile, “Besides-“

“-don’t want the end of the universe to arrive as we speak,” Tony suddenly spoke up, stepping forward and flashing all of them his trademark smile, but Bruce could see the underlying worry, the knowing look Tony had darted at him. Tony had _known_ what he had been about to say before changing it, and he did not like it one bit. “I hear Asgard’s nice this time of year, right Point Break?” Tony directed another winning smile at Thor whose brow was crinkling in puzzlement as he nodded slowly. However, Bruce felt Tony’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance and suddenly felt guilty.

He did not want Tony to worry, but at the same time, appreciated the fact that it was Tony, of all people, who whole-heartedly accepted him for who he was. Only one other person did that…and he could not look for her…yet. He could not involve Betty, not without involving her father General Ross. Perhaps one day… But for now, Tony accepted him like Betty did and was willing to go with him to Asgard, certainly not for Loki’s sake, but rather as friends did for friends.

“Point…Break?“ the lady warrior mouthed as Captain America shuffled his feet.

“You guys probably have some really pretty architecture, right? Would really like to draw it…after all of this is over,” the spangled-clad soldier cough lightly and Bruce watched his face color a little in embarrassment at his attempt to _try_ to be like as blasé as Tony. However, everyone, with the sole exception of Tony rolling his eyes, was too polite to comment on his attempt though the female warrior looked a little confused.

“Sir,” Natasha only nodded once at Fury who returned her nod with a rather reluctant one of his own before arching an eyebrow at Barton who only shrugged and stepped forward with Natasha, showing that he was only going because of her and because of whatever Fury wanted them to do – which Bruce thought was perhaps spying related. Coulson also nodded once as he stood up from where he had been crouched next to Jane after questioning her.

“All of you are willing to fight?” Bruce noted that Thor left out the other half of his question, ‘for Loki’. At least he understood that perhaps only Bruce himself was willing to fight for Loki, the others…not so much. They were only going in a show of solidarity as the Avengers, or for other reasons that were unspoken at this time.

“Well, I’m guessing the end of the universe as we know it, isn’t really a good thing,” Tony said a bit sarcastically, but Thor only smiled and nodded before gesturing for them to follow him.

“Thank you, my friends. We shall depart immediately. When we arrive on Asgard, you shall be under my protection and must heed my orders. Most of you may be mortal so there are specific rules that you must follow in order to…endure Asgard itself. I shall explain it to you as we make our way up.”

“Field trip to outer space kiddies,” Tony commented again and Bruce could only smile, but at the same time, he could not help but worry at what they would find when they arrived on Asgard.

* * *

As soon as he felt his feet rematerialize upon the golden ground of the Observatory, Thor started walking away from the Bifrost’s origin point, the grip on his hammer tight as he unconsciously twisted it. He had been such a fool and the Allfather had been correct in his assessment. He had only thought selfishly of his brother and of trying to prevent what had been an eventuality, only to protect him. He had not thought of the consequences of his actions when he had foolishly demanded Loki take them to Midgard instead of helping him on Jotunheim. He had not thought of the consequences of what he had known from the Allfather’s cryptic words and orders and from what he had learned when Loki had made the geas contract with Fury and the Midgardians. He had not thought of any of it and most of all, had not acted with the authority and stead that he had been granted as one of the Allfather’s sons.

Though he had always led and Loki had always followed, there were always times when it had been Loki who led and he who had followed – countless of adventures, exploration of the realms, even of their mischief in Asgard. This time, he had allowed Loki to lead and he had dutifully followed for old-times sake. Thor hated to admit it, but Loki, in a twisted sense, had been right. His sentimentality and wistful yearning for a time broken like the jagged edges of the Bifrost over a year ago, was long gone. He had been living in the shadow of a past when he should have been trying to live in the fields of battle that he had not known had been sowed.

Though there was the distinctive fault that laid with Loki for causing all of this, Thor could not help but feel that he needed to protect Loki, needed to watch over him as he had done so for hundreds of years. But, he realized, Loki, in his own unique way, had been trying to tell him that he should not have done so, should have focused on the problem at hand, not the cause or result of that problem. And he had been too blinded, too foolish to see that.

Yet at the same time, he could not help but think that Loki had been wrong. His argument of a sentimental weakness that he had thought Thor possessed towards him was not gone. Thor would have liked to have thought that his concern for his brother, adopted or not, was what drove him now; drove the purpose in wielding Mjolnir, to stop the source of threat to the realms. There were other twisted thoughts floating around Thor’s head as he walked up to Heimdall’s platform, but he knew that they were thoughts borne out of hundred of years of Loki’s influence. His brother was far cleverer than he had thought and while Thor never claimed to have understood at least half of what Loki had always said, he had learned from observation and from the numerous scrapes and adventures they had always went on together – he had chosen not to voice it at the moment…

“What news Heimdall?” he asked, managing to keep his voice leveled instead of sharp as not to betray his worry. He ignored Erikur the healer, and a few other warriors that had been stationed in the Observatory.

“The Allfather has set up perimeter defenses along all access points to the Vaults, but there has been no sign of Chitauri, Thanos, or of Prince Loki,” Heimdall looked grave before his gaze moved to just beyond Thor’s shoulder.

“Grant them immunity for the duration of this,” he knew what Heimdall was silently asking and saw the Guardian nod once.

“As you wish, my Prince,” Heimdall’s eyes briefly flashed golden and then turned back to him. The Observatory was the only place mortals were able to exist if they had not been granted immunity from the…effects…of living on Asgard, or for that matter, any other realm. Thor had not seen it first hand, but he had known of stories when a hapless mortal somehow found themselves upon Asgard and wandered about, as soon as they had reached the edges of the Observatory and the Rainbow Bridge, that one step would render them unto ash and a swift trip to Hel’s realm.

The only being that could grant immunity to mortals from the effects of the realms was Heimdall, and only four people could order him to do so; the four members of the House of Odin.

“Whoa, that’s tingly-“

“Did you feel that?”

“Err, Thor-“

“You have been granted a stay of immunity, my friends, for the duration of this coming battle until I rescind this order,” Thor quickly explained as he glanced back at his friends and saw the Son of Coul open his mouth to ask more questions, but then closed it as Thor turned back to face Heimdall. He twisted his hammer in his grip again.

“You have once said that Loki can walk the shadows to which you cannot see,” he started and Heimdall nodded once.

“That is true, my Prince, however-“

Heimdall stopped talking as his gaze became far away and a frown appeared on the Guardian’s face.

“What?”

“The Chitauri have begun their attack-“

“Oh shit!” Stark’s squawk of surprise was followed by the mechanical whine of his repulsors blasting away and Thor suddenly spun as he felt the brush of something against his consciousness and automatically summoned lightning from Mjolnir.

He twisted and slammed his hammer down upon a Chitauri, smashing in its armor into a crater before the alien creature spat out blood, but he was already moving and grabbed another one by the arm, tossing him against another who had tried to avenge its fallen companion. Thor could see the Chitauri materializing out of nowhere as a flash of golden blade and armor told him Heimdall had leapt into action behind him, his deep-throated roar filling the Observatory. Around him the other Avengers, and warrior stationed in the Observatory fought the incoming Chitauri and Thor lifted his head a little as he heard the distant horn of warning sound, blown by perhaps General Tyr or one of the others under his father’s command.

He looked around as he smashed his hammer into several Chitauri, their bodies flying into the Observatory wall where they were promptly pinned by the archer, Barton’s arrows. Where was Loki?! Where was he-

Thor froze as he felt something alien, yet so familiar brush behind him and tried to turn to his right to see what he thought was the barest pressure of a thin hand, spindly long fingers that were both cold and warm at the same time. Out of the corner of his right eye, he thought he saw the resplendent green-gold armor that he had fought beside so many times-

“ _I’m sorry, brother_ ,” the whisper seemingly echoed in his left ear-

And just like that, the presence was gone and Thor completed his spin, his eyes darting about, trying to find the source of the voice. And as his gaze swept past the entrance to the Observatory, Thor knew at once that Loki had arrived and had bypassed all of the defenses; exactly as the Allfather had foreseen if he was to be taken by Thanos. It also validated Thor’s belief that somehow, Loki had held back some of his knowledge when he had made his initial deal with Thanos; the Tesseract on Midgard for the Chitauri invasion.

“Erikur! Send word to the Allfather, Loki is in the Vaults,” he called out to the healer who was hastily defending himself with several spells. At the same time, he spun his hammer in his hand and set himself to fly towards the Vaults.

“Sire?!” the healer looked shocked for a moment before his hands and mouth moved in spellwork as he did as he was told. Thor launched himself towards the Vaults, the power of Mjolnir guiding him as he heard the shouts of surprise from the other Avengers.

He burst forth from the mouth of the Observatory, the starry skies and majestic beauty of Asgard a blur around him as he focused on his destination. A whine near him made him turn a little to see the Man of Iron quickly catching up to him, perhaps the only one of the Avengers and anyone at the Observatory capable of following him. He expected a usual smart-mouthed remark from the man who loved to hear himself talk, but none was forthcoming and Thor acknowledge the silence grimly.

He could see the flashes of silvery blades, bolts of color and various magicks used through his flight and while a part of him hoped to catch a glimpse of his father as he flew through the air. However, he knew that Odin would not be riding upon Slepnir at this time, but rather wading deep into the fray, to rally his troops and to defend Asgard herself. He saw the blue forms of Jotuns charging with the golden armor of Aesir, combating together to defeat the Chitauri. Helblindi must also be here as part of the alliance Odin had brought with him on his brief arrival on Midgard, he thought to himself as he hurled through the air.

All too quickly, Thor rammed through several walls towards the inner sanctuary of the palace walls and landed a bit unsteadily as he double doors to the Vaults rose up before him. He twisted his hammer once again in his hand as he tried to sense out whether or not Loki had been here.

He knew from experience and from the Allfather’s words that the doors to the Vault itself were spelled to ward off any intruders. Only those who were blessed by the Allfather to access the Vaults or were part of the House of Odin were allowed to open it. The Allfather had even cryptically warned that Loki’s abilities to cross in the shadows were nullified by the nearly impregnable wards; though at the time, Thor had not understood the Allfather’s cryptic words nor did he understand why he had said those words.

“I can’t pick up Loki’s signature,” Stark spoke up as he landed behind Thor with a metallic thump, “whoa, nice door.”

He ignored the metal man’s comments, having learned very quickly that the mortal was both compensating for a sense of nervous being, yet at the same time posturing about himself for his relative genius. Thor placed his hand on the handle of the door, he could feel a hum through his hand, the wards recognizing his presence before pushing it open and breathed an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. Nothing seemed to have disturbed the tomb-like Vault at first glance, though he kept his senses on alert for any attempts of ambush of the sorts. Years of fighting with Loki, sometimes against him, along with years of hiding and seeking, especially in the Vault’s nooks and crannies, made him alert for any types of ambush.

He strolled forward, down the stairs towards where the Gauntlet was stored, in the pedestal to the left of where the Casket of Ancient Winters used to sit, formerly guarded by the Destroyer. Since Loki had used it on Heimdall over a year ago, there had been no sign of its whereabouts and Thor had feared that it had fallen into the abyss like Loki had, or had somehow returned to the Jotuns’ hands. He had his suspicions about the massive glacier-like ice field that had been produced on the bridge of the Helicarrier, but there was no definitive proof that it was the Casket of Ancient Winters’ doing – after all, he had only heard stories of its power, but had not really seen it.

He stopped in front of where the Gauntlet sat and breathed a sigh of relief. It was still there, the gleaming silvery metal that was encrusted with the powerful jewels. The stories behind the Gauntlet’s power were terrible and fearsome and not even spoken during the feasts. In his younger years, Thor had only asked once and even then he had learned quickly, through the sudden hush that had befallen the banquet itself before the Allfather had replied with a very light tale about the Gauntlet. It was only Loki who had urged him to come with him to the library to show him what the true story was about.

“Uh, what am I supposed to be reading here?”

“I do not understand?” Thor stared at the man of iron in confusion as he held up one of his hands, the repulsor circle glowing faintly.

“I figure its metal, something, right? I’m not getting anything…”

Thor felt his insides drop a little as he immediately strolled forward and took a swipe at the Gauntlet with Mjolnir. As he had feared, his hammer passed through where it should have hit the metal of the Gauntlet and Thor cursed silently only to suddenly feel the same presence he had felt during the Chitauri’s surprise attack. “Loki…”

He suddenly turned in time to see and hear the snapping of a familiar dark green cloak and glint of golden metal-

“Loki!” he brushed past Tony Stark as he chased after the tail end of Loki’s cloak.

“W-Wait, Thor!” He heard the man of iron chasing after him before his voice became tinnied over his right ear, “guys we found Loki and we think he’s got the Gauntlet – where the hell are we going?!”

“He is escaping to the Bridge!”

“-escaping to the Bridge, if you can make your way there-“

“We got it Stark, we’re on our way,” the mortal called Captain America’s voice buzzed in Thor’s ear, but he paid them no heed as he concentrated on finding the tail end of the cloak that appeared every so often. He knew that there was a chance that it was one of Loki’s illusions, but somehow, in his gut, he knew that it was truly his brother, running from the Vaults and towards the Bridge. The question was-

“How come he doesn’t just open a portal to where Thanos is?” Tony Stark voiced his unspoken question as he hurried to keep up. Thor dared not to use Mjolnir to fly through the halls, especially with the twists and turns that Loki kept turning into, knowing that he may slam into a wall and thus lose his advantage of keeping up with his brother.

“I do not know,” it had been bothering Thor too, but whatever it was, be it the grace of the Norns or something else, he was glad that Loki had not readily escaped yet.

Suddenly they burst out into the main halls of the palace and Thor could see the Courtyard of Wonders beyond him and the small figure running through the battles happening around them…it was Loki. “Loki!” he shouted as he readied Mjolnir and fired a bolt of lightning just over his brother’s shoulder, making him dodge and roll at the same time the man of iron flew high into the air and fired several times with his repulsor blasts.

“Loki stop!” he shouted as he fired bolts of lightning several more times, taking care not to quite hit Loki, but at the same time trying to miss him. Several Chitauri were electrocuted by his bolts, but he dodged several more blasts before he gritted his teeth and shook his head. “Do not force my hand!”

“He’s not stopping-“

Thor gave a growling cry of frustration before he wound his arm back and finally threw Mjolnir hard at Loki. His aim was true as he saw Mjolnir connect with Loki, sending him flying through the air across the Courtyard of Wonders and onto the beginnings of the Bridge where he rolled to the stop and Thor summoned Mjolnir back before running forward.

He could see the others, the Warriors Three, Lady Sif, and the Avengers fighting their way towards Loki, the Allfather amongst them, leading the charge with Gungir before he slowed to a stop just a few paces away from Loki who was gingerly picking himself up from where he had fallen. “Loki…” Thor readied Mjolnir as he kept his eye on his brother’s back.

“…You’re too late,” he nearly dropped his hammer in shock at the raspy hoarseness of Loki’s voice before his eyes widened as Loki turned towards him, his right arm clutching the scuffled, _bloodied_ , Infinity Gauntlet. But that was not what stunned him…it was the mad look his brother wore, the despair, the crazed insanity, blood-flecked grimacing smile over horribly thick-black stitched lips.

“You were always too late, Thor…”

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

I’ve been rather ill since mid-April and many apologies for not being able to post up these final chapters. Writing has been hard with my illness, but hopefully I’m now on my way to recovery. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy these last few chapters. Oh, and _Iron Man 3_ was awesome, but not as good as _Iron Man_ or _Avengers_. And the first trailer for _Thor: The Dark World_ makes the movie seem a tad bit on the cheesy side, but hey I am not complaining about Loki’s presence in the movie.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Chapter 20_

 

Thor swallowed heavily at the sight of his brother’s mangled, battered form. It was not just Loki’s face that was dripping blood in scratches and stitches that pulled and oozed dark blood with each twitch of the muscles on his face; but also the fact that the once pristine green-gold armor was scuffled, tattered, and flecked with both dried blood and freely flowing blood – and not the blood of the Chitauri either. Just…what had happened when Loki had disappeared with Thanos off the bridge of the Helicarrier and arrived here? Surely it could not have been more than an hour or so in-between…

“…L-Loki…” Thor was dismayed to find that his voice cracked at his brother’s name and also dismayed to find that it did nothing but elicit a horribly _broken_ smile in his direction, pulling more at the black stitches that crisscrossed Loki’s lips. But it seemed that Loki did not acknowledge the pain or the fact that his lips were stitched together, except for perhaps a twitching shudder that could have been mistaken as an involuntary movement.

“How about you put that thing down and walk away, all right?” Tony Stark had no such compunctions about the lack of what to say to Loki and took a step forward. His arms were raised and glowing, his metal faceplate obscuring any sign of emotion, but Thor noted the normally animated voice was flat and seemingly devoid of feelings.

Loki laughed lightly, and Thor grimaced at the sight of what was once a familiar smile gracing his brother’s features marred by the sudden ooze of dark blood from one of the stitches that seemed to pull a growing wound on the side of his mouth.

“…holy shit…” he heard the whispered curse from the archer Barton as the others arrived. Loki also heard them as he turned and acknowledged their presence with the barest of nods. Thor noted that the Warriors Three and even Lady Sif had grim looks on their faces, but their eyes were wide with the same shock that was coursing through him at the sight of Loki. Helblindi and the other Jotuns that had arrived behind them looked grim, their craggy faces unreadable.

“Allfather…” Loki greeted as Odin stepped forward, Gungir held by his side. If the Allfather could have been carved by marble and rock by the hands of the dwarves of Nidelheim, he would have done so now, so still his face was.

“Loki, stand down. You’re surrounded on all sides- _Opening a portal won’t get you anywhere-!_ ” Captain America started before everyone tensed as Loki lifted his free hand.

Thor gritted his teeth together and was about to strike with Mjolnir again even though he did not want to do anything to hurt his brother before everything happened at once. He saw Loki rip open a portal-

_WhyamIlikethisIdonotwanttobelikethis_

-the blur of Captain America’s shield _hitting_ Loki, throwing him back and tumbling to the edge of the Rainbow Bridge-

_IdontfearfearisnothinganditshallpassbutitwillneverpassIamtrapped_

-the rest of the Avengers were shouting as the Chitauri suddenly swarmed once more, firing their weapons at them-

_Ithurtshurtshurtshurtspleasemakeitstopstopstopstop_

But all of it was meaningless as _he_ stepped through the open portal, the _voices_ , whispers, horrifying in their own way-

_Runrunrunneverlookback_

And just like that, a deafening silence roared across the area as Thanos stepped forward, the portal sealing close behind him. Thor involuntarily stepped back a step as did the man of iron beside him as they looked _up_ at the monstrous red-skinned alien. He felt himself shudder a little at the icy- _blue_ eyes that raked across him as the giant alien looked around him before a cruel, malicious smile graced his craggy features. He could literally feel an _infinite_ power behind those eyes, too-ancient eyes that seemed to know his secrets before even he knew them himself. This was Thanos…and Thor had a moment where he realized he had been so _wrong_ to berate Loki, so wrong to blame him for all that had happened.

“Ah, Odin Borson, or should I address you by your new title since we had last met, Allfather?” Thanos’ voice sounded like it had been dragged across hot coals and raked through the hellfires of Muspelheim. Thor suddenly found himself unable to move even though he saw Thanos take a rumbling step forward, shaking the Rainbow Bridge.

“Thanos, Mad Titan,” the Allfather held himself absolutely still, or was it because he could not even move, Thor did not know, as he looked up at the alien, his voice soft, but seemingly whispered in Thor’s ear.

“It…has been a long time,” Thanos’s cruel smile grew a little wider, “the last time we had met, you-“

“ _We,_ stopped you,” Odin replied carefully.

“ _We_?” Thanos suddenly chuckled and Thor felt another shudder of unidentifiable fear course through him, “as I seem to recall, it was you who had killed your brother, for fear of my influence and ‘poison’ I suppose you called it, coursing through him; that same brother whom you dearly loved, whom you named your adopted son after. The sentiment is touching; even after your brother had killed your youngest brother Baldr?”

“The past shall not be repeated today Thanos,” Odin’s gaze was one that Thor had never seen before – set, hard, and somehow filled with incredible pain and regret. It frightened him, he realized, to see such a look on his father’s face. The Allfather was all-knowing, wise, infinite, a ruler who knew _everything_. He was not this…not-

“So sure you are of your words, _Allfather_?” Thanos sneered his title as a wide insincere smile graced his large features. “After all, the prison you held me in was my salvation amongst the folds and shadows of Yggdrasil. How very kind of you to give me your son as he fell into the abyss…or…was he thrown? Yes, he seemed keen to think that he had been thrown from the jagged edges of Bifrost. That he was betrayed, by you…and by the golden-haired brother whom he spent his lifetime in the shadows-“

The Mad Titan tilted his head and turned to look at him and Thor found himself rooted to the spot, unable to do anything except breathe, “Look at him, Allfather, he knows nothing of what we speak. Allfather, are you so ashamed to have killed your own brother Loki who slayed Baldr before him that you dare not tell either of your sons, especially the one named after a long lost older brother, before you?”

There was a moment’s pause before Odin shook his head, “You could have easily escaped, could have easily taken the knowledge from _my son’s_ gifted mind instead of resorting to…this…” He gestured around him with a wave of his hand, seemingly unaffected like the others had been, “Yet you have drawn this out, Thanos.”

Thor strained his muscles to move, to check on Loki who had not moved from where he had rolled after being hit by Captain America’s shield. He was confused by Thanos’ words, but knew that they were poison in a sense, twisted and distantly related to his and Loki’s current predicament, but knew to dwell on it would have dire consequences. Thus he sought to purge it from his mind, to concentrate instead on trying to move. He could see the others, all seemingly frozen in place, trying hard to move, to do _something_ , but were unable to even lift a finger save for moving their eyes back and forth in the growing discomfort and disturbing conversation since Thanos had arrived.

“Theatricality does not become you, Mad Titan,” Odin suddenly slammed the butt of Gungir down onto the ground, releasing a shower of glittering gold magic before something in Thanos’ eyes flashed that intercepted the golden wave, but for a moment Thor stumbled a little as he felt movement return, before it disappeared just as fast.

“But would it not be exquisite for everyone to see the one these mortals once called enemy fall? It is what they secretly wish even if they have come under false pretenses-“

“Your quarrel is with me, Mad Titan. Not with my sons, not with the Jotuns, not with these mortals-“

Thanos suddenly threw his head back and laughed, a loud booming sound that Thor thought shook the Rainbow Bridge itself, “You are willing to sacrifice yourself like your father before you?! Bor Allfather entrapped me and you are willing to do the same? But what of my puppet Loki? Will you allow your son Thor to kill his brother like you had done so long ago? Would he then take the crown and become the new Allfather, so lonely without family, all slain or dead by his actions?” The smile Thanos wore was full of teeth, “How we have arrived full-circle-“ He suddenly gestured sharply with a hand and Thor saw Loki’s form twitch before he stumbled to his feet.

Thor sucked in a quick breath as Loki turned and for a second saw the fight, the _rage_ , the anger within his brother’s eyes as he walked erratically, towards Thanos, seemingly dragging one foot in front of the other. A quick look to Thanos showed that the Mad Titan was smiling, but the smile was strained and Thor tried to open his mouth, tried to give encouragement to the fact that Loki was clearly fighting whatever Thanos held over him. But no words would come and Thor raged against the invisible bonds that held him in place.

“Loki…” Odin’s voice was quiet, contemplative and Thor saw his brother jerk and shuffle to the side as if shoved hard, “you do not have to do this…”

“He has no choice, Allfather,” Thanos countered, the smile on his face, but another quick gesture with his hand made Loki continue his unsteady progress forward. His right arm was still curled towards his body, the Gauntlet held there since his escape from the Vault. “There are two ways to stop him-“

“I will not kill my own son-“

“Then I win,” Thanos taunted, “He is mine as he too fears his death. Though to do so would only entrap him towards me as Mistress Death is so kind to me-“

Thor’s rage reached a peak as he thought he saw a red haze fall across his vision. He could feel something snapping within him, breaking loose and free as his vision narrowed to only seeing Thanos’ smile, the injustice of what the horrible _smile_ had done to Loki- He roared, feeling something physical snap as he suddenly found himself charging forward, Mjolnir crackling with his unchecked fury as he raised his arm to strike at the Mad Titan-

“THOR!” the Allfather’s harsh cry was a little too late-

Thor’s eyes widened as he saw the flash of green-gold, black hair and familiar blue-green eyes in front of him- _No!_ \- a part of him shouted as he stumbled and twisted his body to the side-

Only for Mjolnir to swing wide, as Thor propelled himself awkwardly to the side to stop himself from dealing what was surely a killing blow to Loki. He had not even seen his brother teleport or pull at the shadows, so fast was he from moving unsteadily slow, to the next standing in front of Thanos, protecting the one who controlled him. Thor tumbled to the ground, his footsteps uneven, catching himself as he rolled to a crouch and looked up at Loki.

His brother’s face was expressionless, blank even, his hands held defensively in front of him, magicks crackling at his finger tips. The anger, frustration that Thor had seen mere moments ago had all but disappeared, replaced by the mask of obedience and of mindless- No! He refused to believe that Loki had fully turned, had been fully bent to Thanos’ will. He _knew_ his brother was in there somewhere, fighting with all of his willpower against whatever spell Thanos had him under. This was _Loki_ , he knew…this was his brother, clever, bright, smart, all of the things that Thor had taken for granted and had not known _how_ to acknowledge the times that Loki had saved him- He looked beyond Loki’s plain defensive form to see Thanos with his cruel smile once more.

“You cannot touch me, Thunder God,” Thanos rumbled ruthlessly, “so slow you were to realize why the Allfather had not attacked. You can never touch me, not if you wish to sacrifice your brother’s life-“ The Mad Titan suddenly adopted a false sense of pity in his tone, “Oh, but are you willing to do what your father had done to his brothers? To slay the traitor in the House of Bor now in the House of Odin? Will you do as he had done to his older brother? Will you also slay the second one named Loki who stands before you-“

“End this Thanos,” Odin’s voice was quietly severe, “end this between you and I. My sons are not your pawns-“

Thanos laughed once more, “You are even more of a fool than I had thought, Odin Allfather. It will end when I allow it to and you will know its end by watching your sons’ burn. Your youngest, who thought he was so clever, yet so easily fell into my traps, will go to his death with the knowledge that he was outwitted by me. Your eldest will go to his death knowing that he failed in saving his precious brother. Watch as the realms are conquered one by one, Midgard first.” He looked towards the Avengers and Thor saw all their eyes darken. What surprised him was Coulson who managed to at least heft his Destroyer-created gun and actually point it at Thanos before he could move no more.

He flicked his fingers again and Loki turned jerkily around to face the one holding his leash. Thor gritted his teeth as he stood up, hammer held aloft, trying to find some kind of weakness, something to strike at Thanos. “The Gauntlet, my pet…” Thanos said silkily.

“Loki do not-“ Thor suddenly leapt to the side as he felt, more than saw, a bolt of magical power fly towards him from a wave of the Mad Titan’s fingers. The magical bolt exploded against the Rainbow Bridge, sending showers of glass and filament into the air before Thanos gestured to Loki again. The Bridge itself shuddered and trembled at the force of the impact, but its power was stronger and held together after the spell had faded.

There had to be some way out of this Nornforsaken nightmare, Thor thought desperately. He had the power of Mjolnir before him, and enforced the will of Asgard, but in face of Thanos, he was nothing but a pittance; a laughable peon that was spoken without consequence in the stories of feasts. He watched, horror engulfing him as he saw Loki stutter, his hand trembling as he withdrew the bloodied Gauntlet, still glittering for naught with the gems of power on them. _Fight Loki, fight!_ He wanted to scream, but somehow could not force the words out of his mouth, Thanos’ power seemingly silencing him once more.

He tried to lift Mjolnir again, but was trapped once more, under the barrier that kept him at bay as it had the others. He desperately shot a look towards the Allfather, and saw the bunching of his jaw under the white beard – if Thanos had the Allfather under his spell too-

“…And now, Allfather…I win,” Thanos declared-

That was when the Bifrost shattered into a million pieces of cold, freezing, hard, glacial winter _ice._

* * *

It was the precious moment that Loki had been waiting for as he felt something _snap_ within his mind, the moment where the unholy glee of Thanos achieving his goal overrode every single other concern that had been pressing on the Mad Titan’s mind. The moment of distraction, an all-consuming feeling of victory and unlimited power as he claimed as his prize and it was the moment that Loki acted. He had been so cowed, so overwhelmed by the sheer force and suppression of his own thoughts and will, the clawing pain that ripped each time he tried to fight against the Mad Titan’s influence over his actions.

He had known it was inherently wrong, had felt something seemingly pull at his arms and legs like a mere puppet. He had let the rage of such injustice wash over him, temporarily breaking apart Thanos’ influence during that battle aboard the Helicarrier, but had nearly been crushed by the magicks that powered such devotion and had almost cried at the same time laughed at the seemingly painful pleasure of Thanos’ will impressing upon him. It had felt so heady, so _good_ , at times, to feel the power tingling at his finger tips, but Loki knew that somehow it was not what he wanted. What he had used to want, yes, but not now…not when he had been on the Helicarrier – not after everything he had gone through. It was… _wrong_.

Loki _pushed_ , with everything he had been gathering within himself since Thanos’ grip on his mind and body had completed its course on board the Helicarrier. It felt like hammering a dense immoveable wall the first few times, but he refused to believe that any wall would bar him from being in control of his own body. He forced himself to continue, to push past the pain and agony that made him want to do nothing but curl up and whimper; using his rage and injustice – _I will NOT be controlled!_ – and felt the wall crack-

And immediately knew Thanos would seek to stop him with the quickest mental lash, but reacted on instinct and brought out the Casket of Ancient Winters. He could immediately feel its wash of cool _arctic_ power, the dizzy feeling of an incredible rush coursing through him and blasted its full power towards Thanos. He gritted his teeth together as he felt his lips pull painfully on the black threads of stitches across his mouth as he shook with the force of the blast-

“NOW!” he just got the words out in a hurried shout before he stumbled; his vision spinning as he felt the white-hot lash of pain searing across his consciousness. Stars and bright lights exploded in his vision as Thanos roared his anger and betrayal mentally across their bond – his frozen form cracking as he clawed his way out of his temporary icy prison.

Loki’s vision suddenly tilted as he stumbled again, his world spinning in a nauseating fashion, but saw the eruption of crackling blue framing the edges of blackened space as the Allfather opened up the Tesseract itself behind Thanos. He could see the splintering ice, each crack mentally smashing into him as Thanos’ influence grew again- Just as the metallic roar of the Destroyer-created weapon slammed into Thanos, sending him stumbling back towards the open portal.

And Loki blinked as he felt the sudden lessening of Thanos within his mind for a gloriously brief second. He glanced back and tried to move away from the open Tesseract portal. He could feel the unadulterated fear coursing through him, the terror that he had tried so hard to keep at bay threatening him once more as the rest of the ice broke apart. The surge of Thanos’ horrible influence pressed once more down upon him-

 _Thwang_! The red-white-blue blur of Captain America’s shield lessened it once more as Thanos snarled his fury and glared at the soldier. Loki trembled for a second as he briefly regained his mind, before his instincts screamed and instinctively lashed out with his magic. He felt the splash of blood upon him and saw a Chitauri fall with a sickening crunch. He watched with some odd languidity at the body and was suddenly aware of the howl of battle around him. The Avengers, Jotuns, even the Allfather and other Aesir were fighting a furious fight against the Chitauri. For a second Loki thought he was at the eye of the storm of spells, swords, bullets, and bolts flying about.

He could see the world move about him in the slowest of motions, Thor with Mjolnir roaring its electric fury towards Chitauri, blackening their skin and melting their armor as he turned and fired a blast of lightning at Thanos, sending him further back towards the open Tesseract portal. The Mad Titan dug his feet into the crystalline Rainbow Bridge once more, trying to resist the gravitational pull of the Tesseract.

Loki saw the Allfather, holding firmly onto the blue-cuboid, his face grim, teeth gritted as he held Gungir aloft, rallying the others and shouting for them to push Thanos back into the seemingly never-ending black hole.

He saw the green monster that was Dr. Banner taking several Chitauri and flattening them along the Rainbow Bridge, aided by Sif and Hogun’s tossing of Chitauri towards him. Faendral and Volstagg’s silvery swords flew through the air, slicing and cutting across Chitauri before Faendral drew his bow and fired several arrows along with the archer Barton. Romanoff twisted from the grip of two Chitauri, killing them with two quick neck snaps before she fired her bullets towards Thanos, driving him further back with the force of their impact, but the Mad Titan would not be deterred.

He could see the man of iron keeping the swarming Chitauri off of the others before firing something that caused a large explosion at Thanos’ feet, sending the Mad Titan stumbling closer to the horizon of his prison. The Jotuns, Helblindi, and the others like Erikur and Tyr threw their weapons, spells, anything and everything at Thanos, to drive him back-

And then he saw the moment where Thanos’ icy-blue eyes met his, those same eyes that Loki _hated_ , those eyes that promised never-ending torture, had even done the torture itself, had sown the black stiches across his lips, pain- He saw the moment where Thanos fought against the onslaught to grip the Gauntlet in his hand to wear-

And that was the moment Loki lifted his own and twisted it just _so_ -

The illusion popped and all that was left was the tessellation that Loki had worked on for the last fourteen days since his return to Asgard. A masterpiece of spellwork, magnified by the flawless tessellation he had been experimenting with during those fourteen days. He watched in the stillness of time that was between him and Thanos, between him and the horrific battle happening around them, watched as the tessellation floated gently to the ground – that there was no Infinity Gauntlet to give to Thanos in the first place.

That it was all a trick.

That was when he knew.

But he did not want to accept his fate and instead, fought. The Norns did not decide for him, nor did Thanos no matter what. He was his own master and so summoned the Casket once more to his hands and felt its incredible power filling him. He could feel himself change, a seemingly sharp image that was clear to his mind’s eye and was dimly aware of his skin changing blue again, but he did not care. The chilling world-destroying power froze Thanos just as the others rallied around the Allfather and Gungir and poured their power into one magnificent blow towards Thanos, sending him stumbling once more as he again, broke free of his icy prison.

And Loki, even though he knew, watched with some cruel satisfaction as Thanos reached out, one last gasp, his hand outstretched towards him. He could feel the aches and pains of his wounds, the sharp pull of his stitches that made it hurt just so. But watched as the pull of the netherworld of the Tesseract finally embraced Thanos, sending him into its dark prison, the roar of its power suddenly silencing as the Allfather closed it, sealing Thanos within it forever-

It was either General Tyr or King Helblindi who took up the first cry to slaughter the remaining Chitauri who had nowhere to go after their master was lost, the cries of battle turning into cries of slaughter as each alien was ruthlessly cut down. But Loki could still see himself moving in the slowness of time, the passage of figures moving like snails around him as he was suddenly aware of how _painful_ it was to breathe. He looked down and could not help but choke out a coughing laugh. The hitch of his breath shook the embedded dagger in his heart as he felt blood leek from the corner of his lips that was not part of the stitchings.

Oh. Oh… _Ohh…how very…_ Loki did not complete the thought as he absently grasped at the dagger, only to find another familiar, rough hand covering his own.

“Loki, do not-“

He blinked, staring _up_ at Thor’s concerned face, wondering when he found himself nearly on the ground, Thor holding onto him as he tried, but failed to make his legs move again. He had not heard the drop of the Casket onto the Rainbow Bridge, but could keenly feel its absence from his hands as they turned back to his pale Aesir form.

“He would always find a way to win,” Loki whispered as he nearly laughed from the irony and sheer madness. Would he never be free? By sending him to his death, it would be like Thanos to recover his…pet, though he detested that term Thanos had given to him. He could feel the tingle of healing stones as Thor fumbled with one procured from his pouch – something all warriors of Asgard were trained to carry upon themselves day and night - trying his best to heal him and rolled his eyes.

No amount of magicks could undo what had been physically done, not with a mortal wound straight to his heart. To pull the dagger out now would mean his instant death and while a part of Loki wondered why he himself had not done so and instead, lingered. He supposed that it was the lack of pain that was spreading a cold numbing feeling across the rest of his body was probably what prevented his own hand from giving himself a swift death.

At least Thor had the sense to also understand the basics of pulling out such a weapon as he had stayed his hand. He supposed that was some consolation to his brother’s foolishness.

“No- he will not- I…I will not lose-“

Loki shook his head; Thor was too sentimental to be holding him like this, even with Chitauri swarming about them. He was an idiot for not leaving him like the others dying soldiers on the battlefield and help drive the Chitauri from Asgard. His brother was really a stupid oaf sometimes and it was a wonder that the House of Odin had not fallen yet from his stupidity and sentimentality.

“The House has not fallen because you are my brother-“

Loki snorted quietly and grimaced at the hurt that bloomed across his chest and body. He knew he had to stop voicing his thoughts and just die if he kept thinking like this. Still…it seemed the Norns had a dreaded sense of humor if he was still alive, only just, to be doing things like this.

“You will not die-“

“I will die…Thor,” Loki drew in a shallow breath and met his brother’s eyes squarely, seeing the pain, the grief and wondered for a moment why. What had he done to continue to see such base familial love? He had tried to warn Thor, but the fact that his brother was too stubborn to see that it _had been_ for naught and insisted. It was something he could not quite understand, even as he felt the life draining out of him. He had caused nothing but grief and heartache for the House of Odin, was not even a true son, was only the trickster, the forgotten prince, the left-behind-child, the-one-that-was-always-in-the-shadows-to-Thor’s-sun; so why would he be mourned? It was with some irony that he knew he had been right. He had tried to run from Thanos, had tried everything he knew to defeat him on his own terms, both unconsciously and subconsciously, but in the end…it was a dagger that felled him.

“Thanos will _not_ win-“

“No…he will not…” it was a little harder now to draw his next breath and Loki could feel the blood pooling into his lungs. There was no magic now that could save him, not even healing stones that he knew Thor had fumbled with judging by its superficial magicks that healed some of his shallower cuts.

“Loki-“

Thor’s voice seemed oddly far away and while Loki was a little saddened by its distance, he knew that it was not his concern anymore. He could imagine it now, meeting Thanos in his forever-prison, the deep pit of the Tesseract’s netherworld, surrounded by infinite power of all sides. The battle would be great and Loki had no doubt that given time he would triumph-

* * *

Thor blinked as he saw a stillness overcome Loki’s face, the small smile on his bloodied stitched lips, the cessation of breath from his brother’s limp body. His eyes locked on a fixed point that never closed and Thor could only blink again before his vision blurred ever so slightly. He could hear the sounds of a waning battle behind him, the animalistic-metallic howls of the Chitauri fading away, replaced by the roar of triumph from the Asgardians, Jotuns, and even his friends. None of it mattered as he kept staring at Loki’s stilled face, the sticky smell of coppery blood wafting around him.

A part of him wanted to childishly shake the body, to demand that Loki draw another breath and not die and he could see himself doing it, but instead, he kept staring at the unblinking blue-green eyes, pale face, black hair matted with blood of both Chitauri and of his own-

The quiet sigh of the Allfather behind Thor was the straw that broke the bligesnipe’s horns as a wave of grief, denial, and anger filled him. He tightened his grip on Loki’s body as he spun, teeth bared, to glare up at the Allfather, meeting his one-eyed gaze with his own.

“Is this what you foresaw, Odin _Allfather_?!” on some level Thor realized that he finally understood a part of what his brother had gone through, the anger, the frustration, but most of all, the resentment at the sheer _lack_ of information and of explanation. “Was _this_ your purpose?!”

“Thor-“

“You wished Loki’s death upon your very being? Do not interrupt me!” he ruthlessly cut the Allfather off as he placed Loki’s body gently down on the Rainbow Bridge and stood up, Mjolnir crackling in his hand as he glared at his father, “do not try my patience Allfather.”

Stony silence only met his words as the Allfather looked at him with an unreadable gaze upon his lone eye. Perched on his shoulder was Huugin who cawed and adjusted his perch a little.

“Is this the purpose you had for Loki? That everything done to this point was to send him to his death? For Thanos’ purpose to punish him?”

“No,” the Allfather’s response was as quiet as the day he and Loki hung from the tattered remnants of the Bifrost.

Thor bared his teeth at the answer and took a step forward, dimly aware of the others who had finished the slaughter of the Chitauri and were starting to crowd around. He thought he saw his mother’s golden hair amongst the forefront, but instead his focus was square upon the Allfather who had not even moved a single step against the one he had taken.

“Then pray tell by the Norns and by Mjolnir, _Allfather_ , what purpose you had-“

“Loki knew-“

“He did _not!_ ”

“He knew,” the Allfather held his hand up and Muugin flew from somewhere to land on it, cawing once before hopping to the Allfather’s shoulder next to Huugin and pecked his brother with some harsh affection. “Loki knew what was at stake and he knew what was to happen. He _knew_ and acted the way he did.”

“He was being _chased by Thanos_ -“

“He might not have consciously known, but he knew,” the Allfather continued, but Thor shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Then why?! Why would he-“

“Because he understood what Thanos was the first time they had met. He may not have consciously known or understood his own actions at that time, but he understood it on some level,” Odin replied quietly and Thor shook his head, his vision blurring for a second as he tasted salt dripping down his face, the salt of tears.

“He…” he could not believe that his foolish, stubborn, bull-headed brother walked into the arms of Death so willingly. To walk into the arms that would surely deliver him to Thanos to be horrifically tortured once more. How could he? Thor wanted to be there, next to him, fighting side by side with him and yet at somehow, he felt utterly lost as he had first seen Loki fighting against him on Midgard. He had pleaded with him to return to his senses, to stop this madness…to come home…

Thor felt like a lost child as he shook his head at the Allfather’s words, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying anything else. How could he? No matter what had happened between them, no matter what had happened all this time, Loki still did not deserve death; he had seen Loki reject his attempts to at least accept him, to start the healing of rifts that had run so deeply for so long, and his stubborn brother had not wanted it, had pushed him away just as he had pushed back at him.

He turned back around, intending on picking up his brother’s body for burial when he froze, Mjolnir immediately crackling in his hand, the anger that had all but drained from him returning with a vengeance. “Get away from-“

Helblindi’s red-eyed glacial gaze froze him to the spot, but he reacted by firing a bolt of lightning from Mjolnir, only to see it impact a shield spell of sorts, dissipating it before it could even hit the Jotun king.

“Thor!” Odin’s command stopped him as the others shouted at him before Helblindi looked at all of them with his fierce red-eyed gaze as he knelt by Loki’s body.

“Is my brother’s death not enough?! Do you dare desecrate the one you named Jotunkiller just mere moments after his death-“

“There are only a select few who would wield the Casket of Ancient Winters,” Helblindi started almost conversationally as he kept his gaze leveled with Thor, but at the same time, Thor had the feeling he was also staring at the others. “You would be wise to stay your tongue, Thor Odinson,” the Jotun king’s voice was as quiet as the Allfather’s, but there was something in them that reverberated with a hidden ancient power. He addressed Odin, “You knew this, did you not Allfather?”

“Yes,” Odin whispered.

“To the one surrendered one may wield it, or-“

“-To the members of the ruling house of Jotunheim,” Odin finished, his lips thinning a little.

“My younger brother Byliestr was killed by your Destroyer when he walked the shadows to the Vault that fateful coronation day,” Helblindi started as if describing the weather instead of a death as he peered back down at Loki’s body, “perhaps that was the intent or perhaps not. His magicks _are_ uniquely his own…”

There was the sound of ice crystals crunching across the ground as Helblindi reached over and picked up the Casket of Ancient Winters lying next to Loki’s body. A small smile graced the Jotun king’s lips as he stared down at its swirling blue-white patterns and power. Thor could imagine its incredible power, witnessed first hand, twice even, when Loki had wielded it to freeze Thanos in place in the chaotic battle that had happened. There was primordial power behind that deceptive looking box-shaped thing…

“King Helblindi-“ Thor started, wondering if the Jotun was taking the opportunity to attack and abscond somehow with Loki’s body, but did not even finish his thought as Helblindi suddenly gripped the other end and a flash of blue-white light nearly blinded him. He threw his hand up and squeezed his eyes shut before the echoing sound of a thousand ancient blizzards disappeared just as suddenly.

Thor cracked open his eyes again and gaped at the sight before him. Gone was Loki’s pale skin, replaced by the same blue hues and tribal markings that he had glimpsed in brief moments when he had used the Casket of Ancient Winters. He had not really given much thought to the fact that Loki was Jotun instead of Aesir, even with his brother using the Casket’s power, until now.

“…the hell?” the man of iron’s quiet question echoed with the murmurs of the others that had begun to gather around.

“And even now, he prefers the skin of the Aesir,” Helblindi mused quietly, but before Thor could even ask what the Jotun king was talking about, he saw the blue skin slowly disappear, replaced by the pale pink flesh of the Loki he was familiar with. “Allfather,” Helblindi suddenly stood up and faced them once more, his red eyes steady, “if he wishes to challenge the throne, he may. It is his birthright and I will welcome it.”

The Jotuns gathered erupted in murmurs before Helblindi’s gaze raked across them and shut them all up. Thor knew he was missing something important, but was too in shock to ask. He saw Odin nod once, his face grave and serious before Helblindi smiled, one full of teeth as he gripped the Casket of Ancient Winters once more. There was a second where Thor felt himself tense, wondering if the Jotun would take his revenge against the Asgardians now with the power of the Casket in his hands, but that moment passed as a sudden blue-white light, unlike the Tesseract engulfed the Jotun king and seconds later, the other Jotuns too before they all disappeared in a flash of light.

In wake of the roaring silence, there was the barest of groans before Thor spun to face Loki’s body and saw him twitch an arm, the dagger that had been embedded deep into his heart all but gone. It was only then that he realized that Helblindi had somehow used the Casket of Ancient Winters to revive his brother before leaving. Shock coursed through him at the gesture, as he barely felt the passage of Erikur and several other healers, rushing past him and crowding around Loki. What the King of the Jotuns had done…it had indebted the Allfather and himself to them… He looked towards Odin who was had a far away look on his face and somehow felt like a child once more.

What was the price of Loki’s return?

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Yup, killed Loki, resurrected him, and left many questions unanswered. The Casket’s power is based off of ConeycatJr’s “Brother’s Keeper.” Her idea, not mine… Epilogue is next with hopefully some questions answered…

 


	21. Epilogue

Atonement

By: Shadow Chaser

 

**Disclaimer:**

Loki and the Avengers along with all Marvel characters do not belong to me; they belong to Marvel Entertainment and Disney. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement and will return them (a bit battered, but hopefully healthy) when I’m done.

 

**Story:**

 

_Epilogue_

 

His eyes snapped open of their own according as he stared up at the familiar ceiling. He did not know what had woken him up and he stilled himself as he focused on his senses. He did not hear any lingering whispers or any voices demanding his attention, nor of wards tripped or spells silently thrown at him. Opening his eyes once more, Loki decided more or less he had woken up on his own, something he had been getting used to for the last several days. Getting up, he quickly changed and ate the plate of food that had been left on one of his workstations the night before heading out of his chambers.

The two guards posted by his door straightened at his presence, but he ignored them as he threaded his way through the halls of the palace. He noted with some dark amusement that the servants had finally returned to their normal cowering selves, skittering out of his way as he walked through, cloak snapping behind him. It had been a month since that day and Loki had only been awake for the last three weeks, confined to bed for a week after he had woken, before he had been able to muster up the strength to at least walk the halls. And even then, everyone, guards and servants included, had stared at him.

He had been used to being stared at, whispered about his unnatural magicks and abilities, but this was a different kind of stare, this was awe, fear, even of hate, and of some trepidation. The irony of such looks was not lost on him, but even he had felt puzzled by it, and truth be told, a little skittish by the whispers he had heard. Even Queen Frigga, whenever she had visited his sickbed, seemed a little more subdued than usual and would not answer any of his unspoken questions. Thor seemed beside himself, but Loki had avoided him neatly by pretending to be asleep each time he sensed his brother’s presence nearby. He had a feeling Thor wanted to talk about what had happened and suspected something had happened when he…died-

Loki shook his head a little and pursed his lips together as he cut that thought off. He did not want to think about those last moments. But the only person in all of Asgard that seemed to treat him as about normal as possible was Odin in the rare times that he had visited. Even when he had returned to Court, the Allfather had continued with the daily going-ons of the realms without really acknowledging his presence until he had given his input into more than one matter. Even then, he had not readily addressed what had happened upon the Rainbow Bridge itself.

And it seemed that the members of the Court itself and the palace staff had finally realized after two weeks that there were to be no discussion, nothing, not even tales spun in the feasts about what had happened. The only thing allowed was the others’ tales of their battlefield prowess upon the Rainbow Bridge that day; nothing was allowed to be said of what had happened when Thanos had arrived. That was when things started to return to normal…or as normal as it could have been considering that there were still gouge marks and damage to the interior and exterior of the palace.

The only thing the Allfather had mentioned since he had woken up was the words that King Helblindi had spoken before leaving. Though there was no timetable attached to those words, Loki knew that it would not be long before the Court and others started to whisper. He knew he could easily quell those whispers by not doing anything for the next two hundred years, but at the same time, he had been curious as to why Helblindi had brought him back from death’s embrace and more importantly…how.

Today was as good of a day as any and as Loki made his way to the stables, he heard the grunts and clang of metal upon metal, Sif’s shout followed by Faendral’s laughter and Thor’s roar out in the sparring courtyard. Good, Thor was distracted which meant he would not have to dodge his brother once again. Queen Frigga was already holding the domestic court while the Allfather was sure to be discussing the finer points of another trade agreement with the Nidelheim ambassador. He had heard from the whispers of others that the mortal Avengers had returned to Midgard a few days after the battle, having their wounds healed and health returned before Thor had shown them parts of Asgard.

He did not miss them nor feel an inclination to ask after them, but was glad that they had returned. They were hardier than he expected and it was a credit to perhaps their stubbornness that they had all survived the battle. The geas contract with Director Fury was completed, but Loki briefly drew it out of himself as he continued towards the stables, staring at it absently before letting it disappear.

He arrived at the stables and gestured for one of the servants to saddle up his horse, listening to the distant cries of sparring happening near the stables. Sif’s familiar war cry followed by two cries, one from Volstagg, the other from Faendral made a small smile quirk up on the corner of his lips. Trust Sif to completely and utterly annihilate the Warriors Three in training.

“Sire, your horse,” the servant’s voice broke him out of his thoughts and he nodded once as he clambered up the saddle and headed out of the stables.

The tinkling sound of the Rainbow Bridge’s power echoed under his horse’s hooves as he spurred him to a canter and headed towards the Observatory. He arrived in short order and dismounted, letting one of the guards take its reins and headed inside where Heimdall stood near the dais, his gaze staring out at no particular point on the horizon that was not visible in the golden dome of the Observatory.

“I will tell the Allfather once you have arrived,” the Guardian did not look at him, but Loki could see those golden eyes were as calculating as usual.

“If you have not already,” he countered and to his surprise, saw the hint of a small smile appear on Heimdall’s face.

“You are never dressed warmly enough for Jotunheim, my Prince,” Heimdall said.

“But you would already know why, do you not, Guardian?”

“I do,” the golden-clad warrior inclined his head once, “and I must warn you as it is my duty to do so that the Bifrost will not open so long as you are in open combat.”

“I see,” there was no other answer Loki could give, given the circumstances. He moved towards the Bifrost’s teleportation site as Heimdall lifted his sword and speared it gently into the activation keyhole. The whirling hum of the Bifrost’s activation made Loki tense a little before his world erupted in a wash of color, sights, and a loud cacophony of sound before silence suddenly reigned as he found himself upon the icy grounds of Jotunheim.

He landed in a crouch and looked up, casting his senses out, wary for any ambush, but found none waiting for him. When he had first woken up, the healers had not said anything, but their stony expressions told him everything. They had seen magical exhaustion take battlemages out of the field more than once, the magick-users themselves sleeping like the dead until they woke up naturally. It had tasked the healers to keep an eye on the battlemage’s vital signs just in case their bodies could not handle the sheer exhaustion and consumed the physical being itself.

The healers could not chide a Prince of Asgard nor a member of the House of Odin, but Loki had known that besides being dead and then resurrected, he had probably been pushed past the limits of his already waning magical reserves, even under Thanos’ influence. So he gently sent out a spell, feeling a sense of newness to it, his body and mind embracing the clean feeling of the spell. There were times he had come close to the brink of magical exhaustion and he knew that each time after one recovered, spellwork was a little unsteady at times, but at the same time, everything felt so clean, so…untainted.

The spell dissipated and Loki stood up, brushing aside a few snowflakes that had begun to fall. Jotunheim had not changed much since the return of the Casket of Ancient Winters and he suspected it was perhaps years or even centuries before the changes would be affected. The realm had been without its power for so long that perhaps it would take time for it to recognize its return.

He walked, his boots crunching in the thin layer of fresh powdered snow that had fallen recently. It at least provided some grip to the icy, glacial layer he was walking on as he made his way towards the palace. The landscape was familiar to his eyes, slabs of ice made to look like remnant stalactites and stalagmites if one was inclined, but nonetheless, Loki kept his senses aware, his magicks tingling at the tips of his fingers for any Jotuns or hostile reaction.

But there was none forthcoming as he finally made his way to the open throne room where he saw a lone Jotun sitting upon what had been the very same spot Laufey sat on during his last visit here. There were no others and Loki wondered where they all were.

“When the Bifrost activated, I sent them all away,” the Jotun leaned forward from where he had been sitting in the shadows and Loki saw that it was Helblindi. “You wish to know why?”

Loki did not answer, somehow not trusting himself to speak. He still did not understand the terms of what was said, nor of the price that had not been paid for his return. There was definitely a price that Helblindi had maneuvered the Allfather and even Thor into for his resurrection by the Casket of Ancient Winters.

“Come now, you have the sudden case of shyness, Silvertongue?” the Jotun king laughed, and Loki was surprised at how young it sounded. He suspected the king himself was perhaps no more than nine hundred or even barely a thousand years old. “The Allfather, did he not explain what was to be said to you?”

“At my choosing, I may return to challenge you for the throne?” he finally spoke up and saw Helblindi’s red eyes glitter with some unknown amusement.

“Yes,” the Jotun dragged out the last syllable of the word as he stood up and stepped down from his throne, forcing Loki to look up at his towering form. “Did he explain to you why you were able to wield the Casket of Ancient Winters?”

“Yes,” Loki replied shortly.

“Then…” Helblindi gestured around him, seemingly wanting an answer, but Loki shook his head. “No? You do not wish to challenge me?”

“I do not wish to challenge what I do not yet understand,” he replied carefully and saw a smile appear on Helblindi’s face.

“Ah, there’s the fabled Silvertongue,” the Jotun looked pleased before turning around and ascending to his throne and sitting down again, “so very clever and so very like…well…” He cleared his throat and looked amused.

“What is your price?” Loki was getting a little tired of Helblindi’s evasive manners and instead tried another tactic.

“Price of your return from death’s embrace?” the Jotun king looked like he had anticipated his change of topics, “the truth.”

“Truth?” this time Loki could not keep the skepticism out of his tone and expected a smirk to appear on the king’s face, but none was forthcoming. Instead, Helblindi looked solemn and seemed a little older as he sat back against his throne, the shadows covering his face until only his red eyes showed.

“That there are only two Jotun mages in existence, and you, are one of them,” Helblindi rubbed his chin.

“That is impossible-“

“The weapons we form from ice are as natural to us as breathing air,” the king interrupted him, “and thus do not count. What I am talking about is the fact that your magicks are uniquely your own and perhaps the culmination of suppression for our species in this realm as a whole.” Helblindi pursed his lips for a second, “Your ignorance in Jotun affairs is appalling, but it cannot be faulted.”

Loki bristled at the insult before Helblindi rolled his eyes in such a familiar manner that it made him blink twice. The Jotun king cleared his throat again, “Long ago, perhaps even eons ago, the Jotuns were ruled by magisters and magicks. Any type of magicks was dabbled into, blood, spiritual, plane, anything. This indirectly led to the Mad Titan himself, but that is a story for another time. Of course, corruption was rampant and it led to the rebirth of a new society, one where magicks was suppressed, ruthlessly cut down, killed at birth before a sign of it could even show.

“The centuries and millennia of suppression diluted the bloodline so that not even our greatest artifacts could be wielded, having relied on those with magicks in their blood.”

“But Laufey-“

“And the rest of his line exploited the flaw to rule Jotunheim. The claimed no magicks were needed to wield artifacts such as the Casket of Ancient Winters and it was true, latent magicks were only needed, but instead, claimed only the royal bloodline was able to do so to prevent others from discovering the deception.” Helblindi laughed a little bitterly, “You could see where this went after Laufey tried to conquer Midgard.”

“But…”

“Magick was still ruthlessly purged and it was unfortunate that you had shown your first spellwork when you were just a newborn babe. Mother pleaded for your ignorance, that you did not even know anything, but the law was the law and since your spellwork was in front of witnesses, you had to be put to death.”

“Odin Allfather found me.”

Helblindi nodded once, “Odin Allfather found you.”

Loki took a deep breath and let it out quietly as he digested this information. He still did not know whether or not it was the truth, after all he had nearly destroyed Jotunheim and he knew the Jotuns had to have been holding a grudge against him, but at the same time it made sense on some level. “And you?” he looked up at the young king.

“I was not as…theatrical as you had been, but…” Helblindi gestured with a hand and for a moment, his face reflected the simple conjured fire spell before it was extinguished just as quickly. “I got off on a technicality, and Mother did her best to suppress it in the hundreds of years.” The King sat back once more, “Byliestr was the only one who showed no inclination, and my scheduled death by his hand was delayed when he did not return with the Casket after someone showed him the paths through the shadows to the Vault during Prince Thor’s coronation. The heir killed, the spare, spared.”

Loki swallowed hard as he remembered staring at the bodies of the Jotuns that had been wasted by the Destroyer after they had invaded the Vaults. He had dismissed them as mere gnats, when he should have realized that one of them was the Crown Prince of the Jotuns. The Allfather must have known, perhaps not even had said a thing as he wondered what Laufey would do once he found out that his youngest son had been killed by Asgardian hands.

“And then Laufey died, trying to assassinate the Allfather,” he looked up as Helblindi spoke up and stood up again from his throne, descending the steps to stop in front of him. Loki could tell that Helblindi knew that Laufey had died by his hand and met the red eyes squarely, daring him to do anything for the murder of the previous king. “And now…here you are.”

“Here I am,” he echoed.

“You have every right to challenge me for the throne Loki _Laufeyson_ ,” Helblindi said quietly.

“The people would know a magick-user sits on the throne then,” he countered just as quietly, staring up at the red eyes, seeing the calculation and quick-witted understanding in them. In a way, it was like seeing a reflection of himself in Helblindi, but at the same time, not like seeing himself either.

“Yes, a return of the magisters of primordial times perhaps…”

“Will they accept it?”

“It is not known,” the King shrugged, “there are perhaps already those who hide themselves amongst the others, waiting for the day of rebellion; those who had long wished to study under the Vanir or even the fire demons of Muspelheim.”

Loki understood what the King was implying and the consequences of such implications should they bear fruit and the corner of his lips twitched up in a faint smile as he hummed lightly. “A very generous price, King Helblindi…”

The faint smile returned to the Jotun’s face, “Indeed…”

“What do you gain out of this?”

“Something I think you do not yet understand,” Helblindi replied his voice with a hint of a familiar affection that Loki could not quite place, “what was once lost, returned, even if one could only reach for it as a mere shadow; it is a shadow to admire from afar as the sun burns too bright.” He suddenly stepped away and Loki knew that the audience was at an end. There was no answer expected whether or not it was to challenge the throne, and Loki realized that all Helblindi had wanted was to see him, not on the battlefield like they had done twice now, but to see him privately.

The hanging of the challenge was still between them, but Loki knew that Helbindi was content without an answer and he knew he could not give him a decisive yes or no at the moment. The offering of a throne that he had long wanted to prove to Odin that he could have ruled as a king was there, yet somehow, Loki knew that he did not want it that way. No…the proof was not there, not after everything and it was only then that he realized he had not wanted the Allfather’s approval for his plans, to be out of Thor’s shadow, to show Asgard who he really was – none of it mattered…and the fact that Thanos was now trapped in the forever-prison of the Tesseract was proof of what he really wanted.

He sketched a bow towards Helblindi before looking back up at him, “Then I take my leave as Loki Odinson, King Helblindi Laufeyson.”

Helblindi’s red eyes glittered as he nodded once and Loki turned around, heading back out to the Bifrost site. He was merely Loki, the Trickster, and thus, made his own path, his atonement, completed; his journey, only beginning.

 

~END~

 

**Author’s Final Notes – June 2013:**

This story was mostly inspired by both Alis Dee’s “ _Agent Loki: International Man of Mayhem_ ” and ConeycatJr’s “ _Brother’s Keeper_ ”. But it was also inspired by the myths themselves. There was one thing that I didn’t really find in most Loki-centric fics was that according to the myths, if there was a problem that Loki created, it was he who cleaned it up (albeit probably with a lot of carnage and destruction involved). I wanted to express that in a fic dealing with the ramifications of what Thanos would do when Loki failed in getting the Tesseract.

I will freely admit that my knowledge of Marvel’s _Thor_ and all associated characters, Loki included, is limited to mostly the movies, but I did have inklings of who and what Thanos was, what he wanted, and whom he wreck so much death and destruction for (most of my Marvel history is centered on _X-Men_ and _Spider-Man_ comics).

So I decided to combine my limited knowledge with some of the myths, and mash everything together. I am also a big fan of “everything that has happened will happen again” type of thing…hence the whole Odin-Loki I-Baldr-Bor Allfather-Thanos history behind this new Thor-Loki II-Odin Allfather-Thanos thing. Also the side business of Loki’s actions in regards to his magicks, family history, Helblindi, Byliestr, and Laufey.

Thank you to the following reviewers as of 6/19/13: Bemavajyi, Tsume Yuki, Potkanka, Siibi, Redblade, Ynath Esrith, Jarjaxle, Aurora Marija, Anaeila, SailingFXforGold, vincent1875, viviboo, Takers Hidden Soul Mate, The Pearl Maiden, and last but certainly not least The-Guest-Who-Leaves-Long-Reviews (I would like to call you something, so I’m taking leaves out of _Harry Potter_ )

But certainly I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank all of you for reading, reviewing, favoriting, or author-alerting this story. It was a challenge for me to write a character like Loki and I’d like to think I acquitted myself with his characterization and will be posting a sequel to this story (answering some more unanswered questions from this story). Please look out for it and I hope you will continue to read my works. Thanks and see you in my next offering!

 


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